post your favorite joke

[udonoogen]

you guys are funny guys and gals ... amuse me. =P

 

[Aves]

A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over.

?So,? says the cop to the driver, ?where have you been??

?I?ve been to the pub,? slurs the drunk.

?Well,? says the cop, ?it looks like you?ve had quite a few.?

?I did all right,? the drunk says with a smile.

?Did you know,? says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms, ?that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car??

?Oh, thank heavens,? sighs the drunk. ?For a minute there, I thought I?d gone deaf.?

 

[Aves]

A blonde and a brunette both board an elevator and push the buttons for their respective floors. On the next floor, the door opens and a businessman wearing a black suit boards the elevator. It?s evident that the man has dandruff problems, because it can be seen on the shoulder of his suit.

Two floors later the man gets off, and the two women remain. When the door closes the brunette says, ?Someone should give that guy some Head & Shoulders.?

The blonde then responds, ?How do you give shoulders??

 

[udonoogen]

hahahaha .... that was pretty good. LOL.

 

[Nemesis77]

Three men arrive in the Pearly Gates. St. Peter is expecting them. "How did you die?" he asks the men.

First man replies: "I was suspecting that my wife had an affair with another man, so I came home early to catch them in the act. And so it was, as I came home, I saw my wife naked and there was a half-naked man hanging from the balcony. I beat him in the fingers untill he fell to the ground. But I wasn't happy yet, I took our refrigerator and dropped it at him. While I was doing that I lost my balance and fell along with the refrigerator."

St. Peter nods and asks the second man the same question. "Well, there I was, doing my aerobics in my own apartment, when I lost my balance and crashed through my windows. Luckily I were able to get a hold of the balcony beneath me. But as I were hanging there, some lunatic comes over, beats me in the finger untill I fall, and then he drops a refrigerator on me!"

"I see" St. Peter says. "And how did you die?" he asks the third man. "Well, there I was, hiding in the refrigerator..."

 

[bot2600]

LOL! You guys are killing me!

Bot

 

[Nemesis77]

And another one:

Three nuns die and go to heaven. At the pearly gates St. Peter tell them that the Heaven is so full, that they must choose who can come in. "You have to answer correctly to one question. If you get it right, a bell rings and you can enter." He asks the first nun "Who was the first man God created?". "That's easy, he was Adam" The nun replies. The bell rings, and the nun enters. "Who was the first woman God created ?" St. Peter asks the second nun. "Oh, that was Eve". The bell rings and the nun enters. "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam when they met?" He asks the third nun. The nun is silent as he thinks about the correct answer... As she's thinking she says to St. Peter "That's a hard one"... And the bell rings.

 

[purplehayes]

Nemesis - It's St. PETER!

PH

 

[Nemesis77]

<< Nemesis - It's St. PETER!

PH
>>



Ooops, sorry! Will correct that one

 

[Mitzi]

<< And another one:

Three nuns die and go to heaven. At the pearly gates St. Peter tell them that the Heaven is so full, that they must choose who can come in. "You have to answer correctly to one question. If you get it right, a bell rings and you can enter." He asks the first nun "Who was the first man God created?". "That's easy, he was Adam" The nun replies. The bell rings, and the nun enters. "Who was the first woman God created ?" St. Peter asks the second nun. "Oh, that was Eve". The bell rings and the nun enters. "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam when they met?" He asks the third nun. The nun is silent as he thinks about the correct answer... As she's thinking she says to St. Peter "That's a hard one"... And the bell rings. >>



Good one!