Used Car Salesman
Funny thing is, most people will think I'm kidding. Well, actually, I am a bit.
Here is my resume:
At age 17 I was uber-smart. Since I was so worldly, I dropped out of high school and joined the Marines.
At age 20 the Marines sent me back to my Dad, with my pregnant wife.
I got a job detailing cars. That didn't pay enough, so I got a job in a factory putting computer keyboards together for the likes of IBM, ATARI, WANG, ect.
1981 - recession hits and Keyboards start getting manufactured in Norway, Spain and Mexico. I was out of a job.....again. Those bastards!
I answered an ad to sell Kirby vacuum cleaners. hell, at least I didn't have to worry about being layed off and I had a young son and wife to support. well, that didn't pay worth a shit. I made $28000....in two years. Fuck that. My wife said, honey, you always liked cars, why not sell them?
I applied and got a job selling cars at a Ford / Nissan combo. I was top of my class...a high performer. I was in the big league now, so I thought. The only problem, or two was, that I was a few payments behind on my old Chevelle and I never paid taxes on that $28000 I made the years before. Still, at 25 years old, I was pretty hot shit. I was making good money now, but I just hadn't gotten around to a couple of my bills. Well...damn...the repo guy found me and they made a point of towing my car out of my personal parking place and across the lot, where all of my co-workers could see.
The next week the IRS decided that they needed my next paycheck and what was in my bank account more than I needed it. I still vividly remember taking the last $5 bill I had and buying some potatoes & eggs so I could make this huge bowl of potato salad....enough to eat for the next week. So all the next week, I sold cars like mad and ate potato salad. I made enough money to pay all the rent, all the utilities and hire a bankruptcy attorney, who would help get me a new start.
Cool, I have no bills...but the older guys are all having fun with their new cars, new boats and going out to eat. I don't have jack shit and I'm getting jealous. I apply for an American Express card. It get's granted! WTF? I just went bankrupt! I can remember feeling so rich because I finaly got a credit card. I splurge and take my wife out to Sea Galley. My bill was $63 and I left a $10 tip. I'll never forget. It just made me feel so powerful.
Anyway, little by little, I became a bit successful. I built a nice house, raised a family and had all the trappings of a great life......good looking wife, great kids, nice home, new boat, new cars, jewelry, etc. By then I was a Sales Manager at a Ford dealership, where I worked my way up.
That was a very condensed version of the story. I should write a book.