Reminds me of my favorite email. *WARNING* not for the easily offended, so stop reading now!:
Subject: Fw: TOP 10 WAYS TO BE THE FUNNIEST GUY IN YOUR OFFICE (fwd)
10. Keep telling the same person they have bad breath
even if they don't, and then punch them in the face.
9. Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. After
everyone gives you the sympathy remarks, tell everyone
you were kidding and call them a bunch of queers.
8. Before a meeting, fill your mouth with custard.
In the meeting pretend you're hocking up a loogie,
spit it into a glass and hand it to the person next to
you and say "BEAT THAT!!!"
7. Inform a male co-worker that he would make a good
hooker, then piss in his coffee and tell him he needs
a good ass fvcking.
6. Always walk around with a big smile and keep one
hand down the front of your pants.
5. Answer every question with "Fvcked if I know...",
then call the person a racial slur that doesn't even
match their race.
4. Brag about the fact that you carry a gun, and keep
playing with your nuts. Get them really sweaty and go
around shaking everyone's hand.
3. Run down the hall with your dick out spraying piss
everywhere yelling "It wont stop! God help me it wont
stop!" Then when it does, look down and go "Oh! I
must have broke it"
2. Ask to borrow a co-worker's expensive pen- Bring
it to the bathroom and stick it up your ass- return it
to the person and tell them that it smells bad and
tell them to smell it- when they say that it smells,
say "It should--I had it up my ass!!!"
1. Sh!t on your office floor and when someone comes
in and sees it tell them it's the fake rubber kind.
When they try to pick it up and realize that their
hand is full of real sh!t- - laugh and embarrass him