Prayer for Finances

[Quirky Chick]

Hi A friend of mine gave me this prayer, he says IT Realky helped bless him financially.
Father God, your Word declares that You will neither leave me or forsake me. I believe this to be true in all aspects of life including my financial needs. I pray Lord God that You would give me a financial strategy to live debt free and financially owe no man or woman anything, except to love them. I pray that You would lead me to use a strategy that is based on kingdom principles and developed for kingdom purposes. Father I ask that You help me to correct any financial mistakes that I have made. I repent for being a careless steward of Your finances, and give control of the financial area of my life back to You. I purpose this day to listen to the Holy Spirit concerning what to do with the finances You have given me. Help me Lord to listen to Your voice, so that I may make good financial decisions. Help me to show You that I can be trusted with more finances, and that I will use them to bring glory and honor to You. Lord re-establish Your covenant of prosperity with me. The scriptures make it clear that spiritual growth and financial growth are in relationship. I understand that You desire me to grow spiritually first, so that I don't spend Your money foolishly, while struggling with temptation and falling into sin. Therefore I thank You for Your wisdom, and ask for finances not just to meet my own physical needs, but the needs of others as well. Give me a generous heart Father, let me give generously to others with a spirit of joy. Help me to sow for the Kingdom of God, looking towards what is to come, instead of focusing on the temporary things of the present. Help me to rely and trust in You when things look bleak; knowing that my God will deliver me from the plans of the enemy! Lord I declare today that my job is not the source of my finances, You are. I understand that it's not how much I make, but what I do with the seed I receive from my job that directly affects what I reap. Therefore Lord God, let me sow to please the Spirit and not the flesh. Let me sow with a joyful heart knowing that my treasure is in heaven with You, where I will have it for eternity. Help me to keep my eyes on You, and help me to focus more on our relationship than anything else. In the mighty name of Jesus I pray and declare these things, Amen.
Thank you and God Bless you

 

[ImpulsE69]

You misspelled Crazy.

 

[IronWing]

Oh Lord, send me a big bag of money, Amen.

 

[Captante]

Oh Lord, send me a big bag of PUNCTUATION, Amen.

FTFY.

 

[brianmanahan]

Look here, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit." How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, "If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that." Otherwise you are boasting about your own pretentious plans, and all such boasting is evil.

qft

 

[sandorski]

Instead of muttering words into the aether, try grabbing a pen/paper and start Budgeting. If that is not sufficient, grab a phone and start contacting People who might help you. If you are Tithing or giving $ to your Church, stop, keep it if you really need it.

 

[olds]

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends.
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a color TV ?
Dialing For Dollars is trying to find me.
I wait for delivery each day until three,
So oh Lord, won't you buy me a color TV ?

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a night on the town ?
I'm counting on you, Lord, please don't let me down.
Prove that you love me and buy the next round,
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a night on the town ?

Everybody!
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends,
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?

That's it!

 

[DaveSimmons]

Oh lord, please send me a free iPod Classic since the Appleth makes them no more and mine will eventually join thee in Heaven.

 

[splat_ed]

Holy lurker batman!

 

[Ken g6]

I've heard about this kind of thing.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prosperity_theology

It's the kind of thing preached by that pastor who wanted a 60 million dollar jet.

 

[stormkroe]

I've heard about this kind of thing.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prosperity_theology

It's the kind of thing preached by that pastor who wanted a 60 million dollar jet.

Benny Hinn, Joyce Meyers, T.D. Jakes, Ken Copeland, Paul and Jan Crouch, etc. The list of 'Word of Faith'-Oil salesmen is growing quite quickly, and the message ruins lives. Whether you believe the Bible or not, prosperity gospel is an mutilation of the text. Like that time in Huckleberry Finn where Mike Tyson fought those robots.

 

[Jeff7]

So is this god a slot machine, or more like a combination lock where you have to enter the right sequence of words to get it to cash out?

 

[gdansk]

Even the most infantile of religious folk would know better than pray for money. God leaves the distribution of money to man. How else will God be able to tell if someone is evil?

 

[HamburgerBoy]

So is this god a slot machine, or more like a combination lock where you have to enter the right sequence of words to get it to cash out?

More like an online vendor of luck and fortune, and OP just broke the celestial EULA by posting the coupon code online.

 

[Jeff7]

Even the most infantile of religious folk would know better than pray for money. God leaves the distribution of money to man. How else will God be able to tell if someone is evil?

Just pop in a wireless debug device and get a complete memory dump.

 

[gdansk]

Just pop in a wireless debug device and get a complete memory dump.

Ah, I figured he'd just take a gander at their tax forms.

 

[twinrider1]

Many moons ago, people would print their prayers, mantras, whatever, in newspaper classifieds. I don't know why printing it would give it strength, but that was what you had to do.
This smells like that.


On a side note: Joseph Prince is an evangelist from Singapore. For some reason, if I'm flipping channels late at night and run across him, I always seem to listen for a few minutes. Maybe it's the heavy accent. Kind of like when someone is speaking quietly it draws you in so you can hear. Maybe I'm drawn in to figure out what he's saying.

 

[Reynod]

Nef

 

[Jeff7]

Nef

45 posts in 9 years.
Mine.

 

[disappoint]

So is this god a slot machine, or more like a combination lock where you have to enter the right sequence of words to get it to cash out?

The latter.

 

[Art&Science]

Whomever wrote that garbage needs punched in the nads.

 

[MongGrel]

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends.
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a color TV ?
Dialing For Dollars is trying to find me.
I wait for delivery each day until three,
So oh Lord, won't you buy me a color TV ?

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a night on the town ?
I'm counting on you, Lord, please don't let me down.
Prove that you love me and buy the next round,
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a night on the town ?

Everybody!
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends,
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?

That's it!

+1 for the Janis.

And nef.

 

[Mixolydian]

Oh Lord, send me a big bag of money, Amen.

This.

 

[Jaepheth]

Now we need a control group who does not pray, and another group to say the prayer, "Dear God, go fuck yourself."

Then we can compare their financial progress over time and determine the efficacy of your prayer.

Science is fun!

 

[Reynod]

I remember another jeff ... from " the other". Just ask jeff!!!