Predicament with female... (dating advice needed)

hpkeeper

Diamond Member
Jun 30, 2000
4,036
0
0
Okay... about 2 or 3 years ago I took one of my female friends to her prom, she was just a friend and she asked me to go with her. Not a terribly bad looking date I might add, but she really wasn't my type, just a good friend, for now we'll call her Jesse. So anyways... I took Jesse to the prom and we had a great time... anyways the prom was on a friday and the following monday I had an art class with jesse. I found out through the grapevine/subtle hints that she REALLY liked me... as I stated her I really wasn't interested in her, and I had other girls I was interested in the time. Her parents loved me, they thought I was the greatest thing to happen to their daughter, and all I did was take her to the prom.

So anyways... a couple of days ago I went over to my best friends house and his little sister who is now a junior in high school has become one of my better friends. Well... she brought a few of her friends over because we all were going to watch a movie. One of the girls that was there I thought was rather attractive... although I had seen her before, so I asked what her name was. Turns out that this attractive girl is Jesse's little sister... who happens to also be a junior in high school, she would have been a freshmen when I was a senior... apparently over the past couple of years she's blossomed into this attractive figure, who we'll call Liz.

Anyways, knowing how high school works, I had my friends do the grapevine thing, to see if Liz liked me or not... I would have much rather asked her myself out on a date, I find that the grapevine thing adds to very odd confrontations when you do end up talking to the person.... However, it couldn't even be that simple... we're talking about Jesse's little sister here... so I figured that information collection time could be put to good use.... so I used the time to talk to Jesse and see what the deal was with her... if she still liked me and see if she's cool with me hanging out with her little sister. Turns out she's fine with me liking her sister... which I don't really trust, but she's the one saying it's cool....

So over the past few days I've been getting to know Liz and she's really fun, attractive and I'm finding that every time I talk to her, I like her more. My grapevine friends have told me that Liz is concerned about what jesse's feelings are going to be about the situation... which is why she doesn't really want to give me a chance... on the other hand my friends also informed me that if it weren't for jesse being in the picture I probably could have been dating Liz a while ago, so I've got that going for me.

This is all speculation right now, I don't know Liz that well and I'm working on getting to know her better... like I said, what I do know, I've liked... and she seems to be opening up to me more. Any advice would be appreciated on where I go from here... or if I should just quit where I am due to Jesse or what..... I'm at a bit of a crossroads, I don't know which direction to go with this... any HELP would be appreciated.
 

chiwawa626

Lifer
Aug 15, 2000
12,013
0
0
Assuming your in college by now, why the heck are u hanging out with highschool teenyboppers?
 

chiwawa626

Lifer
Aug 15, 2000
12,013
0
0
hmm, well if jesse likes you then its just a kick in the face for her if your gonna talk to her lil sis in that way...If you stop fiddling with that grapevine of urs you wouldnt have this dilema
 

hpkeeper

Diamond Member
Jun 30, 2000
4,036
0
0
Yes, I'm in college, and I don't really hang out with high schoolers by choice... it just kind of happens. I go to college locally, I live at home, and I commute. I didn't really consider this being an issue...

Also....

I was hanging out with my best friend... his younger sister is also a friend of mine... so I do talk with her and her friends..... Liz happens to be a friend of hers.


and just out of curiousity it's perfectly fine for a freshmen to date a senior and to continue that relationship while going onto college.... so what's the difference with me and this girl? Not to mention I know a ton of marriages with age differences of like 12 or so years... so what's the big deal with a 2 or 3 year difference? I like her... who the fuk are you to judge who I can and can't like based upon stupid tradition?
 

rgwalt

Diamond Member
Apr 22, 2000
7,393
0
0
I don't know buddy... but a sophomore in college dating a junior in HS just seems really weird. Seniors who date freshman usually end up going to college and boffing college girls.

But, the boat must float somehow. Your situation is unique, so if it works for you, great. As far as what to do, be careful. The sisters are likely to be much more loyal to each other than they will ever be to you. If Jesse resents Liz if you two start dating, it will likely end quickly.

GL.

Ryan
 

slikmunks

Diamond Member
Apr 18, 2001
3,490
0
0
hahaha, at first i read, liz is in jr. high school, not a jr. in high school... LOL....

and as for freshman to senior thing...? don't sweat it... if it works it works... i just got out of a great relationship w/ my well, now my ex gf, she was a fresh and i was a senior, although this was in high school...
 

chiwawa626

Lifer
Aug 15, 2000
12,013
0
0
Originally posted by: hpkeeper
Yes, I'm in college, and I don't really hang out with high schoolers by choice... it just kind of happens. I go to college locally, I live at home, and I commute. I didn't really consider this being an issue...

Also....

I was hanging out with my best friend... his younger sister is also a friend of mine... so I do talk with her and her friends..... Liz happens to be a friend of hers.


and just out of curiousity it's perfectly fine for a freshmen to date a senior and to continue that relationship while going onto college.... so what's the difference with me and this girl? Not to mention I know a ton of marriages with age differences of like 12 or so years... so what's the big deal with a 2 or 3 year difference? I like her... who the fuk are you to judge who I can and can't like based upon stupid tradition?

Sorry if i came across too strong about the teenybopper thing...I think its perfectly fine, also pretty much ok to date a younger girl but just watch out for the pedophile label.


I duno, i think this all depends on how jesse feels about this if she liked u before, if u ask her if shes ok with u goin out with her sister she will always say yes but prolly be jelous inside, but oh well thats life i guess. I dont think she can really stay mad at you if she really disaprooves of it.
 

PowerEngineer

Diamond Member
Oct 22, 2001
3,558
734
136

It's not like you're to a point where any relationship is going to last very long anyway (trust me on this one!). There are plenty of other girls out there (even high school girls). No real point in hurting your friend Jesse's feelings (or poisoning the relationship between her and her sister) by pursuing her younger sister. Move on.
 

RoninRXN

Golden Member
Sep 19, 2001
1,830
0
0
So EXACTLY how many years older are you? Assuming 2-3 years ago you graduated high school...that means you're...20-21. She's a junior in high school so she's...what? 16?

The rule of thumb is "half-plus-seven" meaning half your age, plus 7 is the minimum age of the girl you should be dating.

Meh...it doesn't really matter though. I think it's all good.

That shouldn't be your concern though. Seriously ask your friend "Jesse" if she's cool with it.
 

udonoogen

Diamond Member
Dec 28, 2001
3,243
0
76
dont go for her. its only asking for problems. plus what happens when she graduates?
 

Stark

Diamond Member
Jun 16, 2000
7,735
0
0
note to hpkeeper:

YOU'RE NOT IN HIGHSCHOOL ANYMORE!! Move along now...

seriously, don't turn out like Wooderson from Dazed and Confused. the best time of your life is supposed to be in front of you, not behind.
 

WinkOsmosis

Banned
Sep 18, 2002
13,990
0
0
Sounds like your hairy hobbit feet are stuck in the high school quagmire.

That's enough metaphors for today.
 

isekii

Lifer
Mar 16, 2001
28,578
3
81
what's up with these pedophiles lately ?

We declare thee "Michael Jackson Complex"
 

LH

Golden Member
Feb 16, 2002
1,604
0
0
Id suspect shes 17 and hes 20. 17 is legal in the vast majority of states. 20/2 + 7 = 17.
 

Mustangrrl

Golden Member
Oct 10, 1999
1,448
0
0
Originally posted by: LH
Id suspect shes 17 and hes 20. 17 is legal in the vast majority of states. 20/2 + 7 = 17.
I was 16 when I was a Junior.

Wait, we're not taking into account whether or not she was held back a grade or is in Special Ed!
 

hpkeeper

Diamond Member
Jun 30, 2000
4,036
0
0
actually, I'm 19 and she's 17, and I really haven't seen much of Jesse since i took her to her prom my senior year... the only real reason that I've talked with her since then was because of her sister... so it's been quite some time. So I guess it would be better to call Jesse and myself friendly aquaintences, we never really hung out or spent any length of time together other than that prom.

I'm not a college guy stuck in high school, I've had a few college girlfriends. Like I said, it's not like I just hang out with this group of highschool girls all the time... it wouldn't have been any different if I had met her in public, I would have definately said something to her. I was just curious as to who she was and now I'm broadening the horizon...

So.... now what I'm asking is... I'm going to proceed with this... despite any negative posts that I've recieved about this... so... rather than wasting your time and typing energy bashing me... Please suggest how I should go about furthering this due to the situation and whatnot?

















 

Koing

Elite Member <br> Super Moderator<br> Health and F
Oct 11, 2000
17,090
2
0
Originally posted by: hpkeeper
actually, I'm 19 and she's 17, and I really haven't seen much of Jesse since i took her to her prom my senior year... the only real reason that I've talked with her since then was because of her sister... so it's been quite some time. So I guess it would be better to call Jesse and myself friendly aquaintences, we never really hung out or spent any length of time together other than that prom.

I'm not a college guy stuck in high school, I've had a few college girlfriends. Like I said, it's not like I just hang out with this group of highschool girls all the time... it wouldn't have been any different if I had met her in public, I would have definately said something to her. I was just curious as to who she was and now I'm broadening the horizon...

So.... now what I'm asking is... I'm going to proceed with this... despite any negative posts that I've recieved about this... so... rather than wasting your time and typing energy bashing me... Please suggest how I should go about furthering this due to the situation and whatnot?

Go for it man. My gf is 24 this year and I'm turning 20 at the end of the year. 4 years difference. So when my girl was 17 I'd be 13! It isn't a problem if shes your type of person and the person you have *fun* with, get along with etc. Age isn't such a problem as long as your not breaking the law.

I say go for it man. Make yourself happy then Jesse. Also she did say she was *okay* with it so go for it. If Liz is okay with it why not? Both young go have some fun man. Better to make yourself happy then other people I say
 

Sketcher

Platinum Member
Aug 15, 2001
2,237
0
0
Buy her a Bonsai Kitten.

kidding. Really, you should look at what kind of advice other YAGT's have received. You'll get pretty much the same.

Best bet is to go it your own and learn. That way you can blame no one but yourself.
 

LH

Golden Member
Feb 16, 2002
1,604
0
0
I was 16 when I was a Junior.

It all depends what month your birthday falls. I suspect her birthday in last 4 months of the year.

17 and 19 is perfectly fine IMHO, and 17 is legal. The only thing complicated in this is the sister liked you.
 

LH

Golden Member
Feb 16, 2002
1,604
0
0
Simple ask Liz out on a date. If everything goes well then tell Jesse that you are persuing releationship with her sister. Since you two havent really done anything in 2 years, it doesnt matter. Who knows she might have moved on and is actually okay with you and her sister having a releationship.
 
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