Problem with a neighbor

[dmcowen674]

Originally posted by: wyvrn

The daughter said 'you win' and I said I wasn't out to win anything. I was simply building a fence on my property. I think they are beginning to figure out that every time they yell, threaten, or bully me, it just makes me more motivated.

In any case, my friend decided to leave because of the commotion. But we had a good laugh first. I came back and finished up after dropping him off. And so for those of you who wanted pics, I present to you my creation which I dub champagne supernova!

http://pics.bbzzdd.com/search.php?q=champagnesupernova

I wish I had more colors, but at least I got to get rid of some old paint in the process! Enjoy!

Congrats on staying calm and civil.

Hopefully you stay out of civil court.

 

[AznAnarchy99]

At least he didnt pick a fight with them. =)

 

[AMCRambler]

Their last name isn't Baldwin is it? They remind me of some nutjobs I've heard about.

Gotta say, they were being total pricks making you do the work and pay for the cost of the fence. Painting it rainbow colors is exactly what they deserve. Honestly, I would have done the survey of the property line, marked it and let them take care of their pos fence before going through all that trouble. They tried to charge you $700 bucks to replace a fence that is on their property.

 

[wyvrn]

Originally posted by: DaShen


Yup, but even still the sons sound like they are just as much of a drama queen as the mother. The neighbors were definitely wrong for not being civil about it, but escalating it by doing that may only make her sons really try to hurt you, and will only make things worse. I would have just taken it to court or not agreed to do anything after they decided to back off of the agreement twice. The lady can gripe and moan all she wants. Shoot I would just take the material and store it, and wait for things to settle. If they realize that they were being stupid, then we would talk, but otherwise why bother? Doing the paint thing only made things worse.

Well I don't think they are going to hurt me. They are bullies but I don't think they are crazy. Plus I have threatened to call the police so they know I am serious about not taking one inch of crap. And I have flashed my camera enough times they know I am serious about building a court case should they wish to pursue one.

I have been thinking about the paint job. I really don't want to leave it that way long term. At some point it will have to be repainted so I'll probably make it a uniform natural color in a couple of years. But for now, I want them to see it every day and think about the whole situation and how it may have been different if someone in that family had been even slightly reasonable. For now, I am content to leave it. I'm not real big jerk but I believe that people should get what they deserve.

 

[bullbert]

Can you rewrite your Will to leave all proceeds after asset liquidation to AnandTech? When Pyscho Son finally snaps and kills you in your sleep, at least your support to AT can live on.

Can you learn to sleep with one eye open?

 

[sandmanwake]

You placed the fence so that it sits a few inches on your side. Someone correct me if I"m wrong on this, but doesn't some city/states have laws where you essentially give up part of your property if the fence dividing the property line sits a bit more on your side rather than evenly between you and your neighbor after a certain amount of time?

Nice paint job by the way. Hope the old lady cried a lot.

 

[halik]

meh painting that fence rainbowey color wasn't necessary imo.

 

[rise]

I'll probably make it a uniform natural color in a couple of years.

pfft. i'd give them a month or so to chew on it and thats enough. these are elderly people you're talking about. you've made your point.

 

[nweaver]

Originally posted by: rise
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>I'll probably make it a uniform natural color in a couple of years. </end quote></div>
pfft. i'd give them a month or so to chew on it and thats enough. these are elderly people you're talking about. you've made your point.

I would wait for the apology, and then offer to paint the fence the color they buy...

btw, definite neighbor pwnage of the year

 

[wyvrn]

Originally posted by: rise
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>I'll probably make it a uniform natural color in a couple of years. </end quote></div>
pfft. i'd give them a month or so to chew on it and thats enough. these are elderly people you're talking about. you've made your point.

You might be right. I did get what I wanted after all and I don't have to put up with anymore crap about the fence.

 

[bunker]

Originally posted by: sandmanwake
You placed the fence so that it sits a few inches on your side. Someone correct me if I"m wrong on this, but doesn't some city/states have laws where you essentially give up part of your property if the fence dividing the property line sits a bit more on your side rather than evenly between you and your neighbor after a certain amount of time?

In my city it does. My backyard is already bigger because my one neighbor put his fence up 12" on his side of the property line

 

[kindest]

kudos.

much inspiration to us all.

 

[LS20]

painting the fence all those colors is wrong






you should have used more colors in the pallette

 

[DrPizza]

Any new updates?

 

[montanafan]

Originally posted by: Number1
Now that you made your point consider the following:

Your neighbours are getting old, probably a little senile. It's not their fault.

They have always been nice to you up to this point.

They care VERY much (old lady was in tears according to one of your post) about the look of the fence.

They might be stuck to look at your ugly fence color for the rest of their life.

You have nothing to gain by having the neighbour mad at you.


Why don't you be the nice guy, ask them to buy some paint of the color of their choice and paint their side of the fence for them.

That way everybody is happy and you have the moral high ground.

I agree with the above.

I see your side of this, but after reading through all of your posts, it sounds to me like the real culprit is the younger son who was being a jerk. If he was the one having to look at the rainbow-colored fence every day, I'd say you gave him just what he deserved, but he's not the one being punished here.

In your posts you say that the mother was the one complaining about the way you were doing things, but you don't say that she actually said it to you, rather that the son told you she was saying these things. Do I have that right? I wouldn't be one bit surprised if that sorry son of hers wasn't the one coming up with the complaints himself and just attributing them to his mother since he wouldn't have had a leg to stand on making the complaints himself. He was probably more concerned with what he would inherit from his parents than he was with helping them in any way. Seems to me if his real motivation had been helping his parents out with a problem, he would have taken you up on your suggestion that he help move the poles, but he didn't.

I just don't think you should punish these once good neighbors and cause hard feelings with them just because you're rightfully pissed at one of the sons more than anyone else.

Just my .02.

 

[mooglemania85]

Originally posted by: montanafan
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: Number1
Now that you made your point consider the following:

Your neighbours are getting old, probably a little senile. It's not their fault.

They have always been nice to you up to this point.

They care VERY much (old lady was in tears according to one of your post) about the look of the fence.

They might be stuck to look at your ugly fence color for the rest of their life.

You have nothing to gain by having the neighbour mad at you.


Why don't you be the nice guy, ask them to buy some paint of the color of their choice and paint their side of the fence for them.

That way everybody is happy and you have the moral high ground.


</end quote></div>


I agree with the above.

I see your side of this, but after reading through all of your posts, it sounds to me like the real culprit is the younger son who was being a jerk. If he was the one having to look at the rainbow-colored fence every day, I'd say you gave him just what he deserved, but he's not the one being punished here.

In your posts you say that the mother was the one complaining about the way you were doing things, but you don't say that she actually said it to you, rather that the son told you she was saying these things. Do I have that right? I wouldn't be one bit surprised if that sorry son of hers wasn't the one coming up with the complaints himself and just attributing them to his mother since he wouldn't have had a leg to stand on making the complaints himself. He was probably more concerned with what he would inherit from his parents than he was with helping them in any way. Seems to me if his real motivation had been helping his parents out with a problem, he would have taken you up on your suggestion that he help move the poles, but he didn't.

I just don't think you should punish these once good neighbors and cause hard feelings with them just because you're rightfully pissed at one of the sons more than anyone else.

Just my .02.

i thought she was the one who initially called, asking out of the blue for $700. She was also informed, as detailed in Update #2, that she had backed out of the agreement. OP also mentioned in the original post that the neighbor was aware her son had verbally threatened him.

While its disappointing that the relationship with his neighbors has changed, I'd argue that they were the ones who blew it once they called asking for $$. Who wouldn't get pissed off if one of your neighbors called demanding $$ for a fence without consulting you beforehand?

Also, he should be sympathetic just because their old??? Bah. If the painted fence bothers them that much, let them apologize first, and then see if a potential solution can be worked out. If they had no problems picking up the phone to call for $700, they should have no problem picking up the phone to apologize.

 

[montanafan]

Originally posted by: mooglemania85

i thought she was the one who initially called, asking out of the blue for $700. She was also informed, as detailed in Update #2, that she had backed out of the agreement. OP also mentioned in the original post that the neighbor was aware her son had verbally threatened him.

While its disappointing that the relationship with his neighbors has changed, I'd argue that they were the ones who blew it once they called asking for $$. Who wouldn't get pissed off if one of your neighbors called demanding $$ for a fence without consulting you beforehand?

Also, he should be sympathetic just because their old??? Bah. If the painted fence bothers them that much, let them apologize first, and then see if a potential solution can be worked out. If they had no problems picking up the phone to call for $700, they should have no problem picking up the phone to apologize.

I agree with some of your points and that's why I said I could see wyvrn's side of things.

Yes it was wrong of them to contact a contractor without consulting him first, but they seemed to get that worked out and came to an agreement to do things pretty much the way the OP preferred. Sounds like things were going along just fine until the younger son decided to get involved. You do bring up another good point though that I don't think was addressed by the OP. I'd like to know what the neighbors had to say when he told them about the son threatening him. Did they defend him, or were they apologetic about it?

 

[wyvrn]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: montanafan
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: mooglemania85

i thought she was the one who initially called, asking out of the blue for $700. She was also informed, as detailed in Update #2, that she had backed out of the agreement. OP also mentioned in the original post that the neighbor was aware her son had verbally threatened him.

While its disappointing that the relationship with his neighbors has changed, I'd argue that they were the ones who blew it once they called asking for $$. Who wouldn't get pissed off if one of your neighbors called demanding $$ for a fence without consulting you beforehand?

Also, he should be sympathetic just because their old??? Bah. If the painted fence bothers them that much, let them apologize first, and then see if a potential solution can be worked out. If they had no problems picking up the phone to call for $700, they should have no problem picking up the phone to apologize.</end quote></div>


I agree with some of your points and that's why I said I could see wyvrn's side of things.

Yes it was wrong of them to contact a contractor without consulting him first, but they seemed to get that worked out and came to an agreement to do things pretty much the way the OP preferred. Sounds like things were going along just fine until the younger son decided to get involved. You do bring up another good point though that I don't think was addressed by the OP. I'd like to know what the neighbors had to say when he told them about the son threatening him. Did they defend him, or were they apologetic about it?

</end quote></div>

They didn't seem to care. They kept denying that it happened. I was incredulous at first, and it really bothered me. It is one thing for it to happen, another for the entire family to disavow it. I was expecting an apology just for that, but it never came. And they just kept pushing and complaining afterwards.

I honestly think, after thinking about it for a good amount of time, that they never cared what I wanted. I think they were out for my cash only, and never intended to let me have much say in the process. I think they intended to hound my every move to make sure they got what they wanted even after agreeing to let me build it. And I do think the two sons had a lot of influence in what happened. They knew what their mom wanted, and they were going to get it no matter what happened.

That is why I do not feel bad in the slightest for the paint job I did. They really deserved it. I don't think they consider apologizing an option, even at this point. It seems like they are used to bullying people to get whatever they want.

To answer some of the questions in another post, I think the younger son is an immature bully who never learned to solve conflicts. I think the mother is really into her senility, and the dad is a pushover. He lets his kids do his talking for him and is afraid to say no to his wife. The daughter is a full fledged bitch, and her husband is very pompous. It is a whole family of obnoxious people. And yes the mother is the one who called trying to get my money, so she basically started it.

 

[BUTCH1]

Nice job!!, for a little frosting on the cake loop an mp3 of "Incense and peppermints" through
a crappy 3" driver whenever your outside!!

 

[sunzt]

hostility, tension, and hate right next door! You did pwn them pretty good and they most likely deserved it from what you said. But, it does not make anyone's life better to have that sort of tension and hostility so close to home. If they do not come to you for an apology or to make amends will you be willing to start normalizing relations with them? You wouldn't have to apologize or give up anything. You would just have to be willing to get above your ego and try to diffuse all that negative karma next to your house. It may not go anywhere, but you can at least try to make life better for you and your neighbors with a simple gesture.

 

[sandmanwake]

Resist all these calls for you to make amends with your neighbor. Let them fester in anger and hatred. Let them go unkindly into their graves cursing your name.

 

[oiprocs]

I commend you wyvrn. If this would have happened to me, I would have loved to do the same thing, but I suck at ANY kind of construction whatsoever. Makes me want to stay in apartments for life.

I think you did the right thing though; collaboration between neighbors over property issues, IMO, shouldn't happen. You never know when those same "nice" people flip the script on you and send fiery balls of hell toward your way. Plus, if either person moves, and the new tenants don't approve of whatever project you guys worked on together, that's even more crap to deal with.

Of course, that is all a *what if* situation, but I'd rather not *what if* my way into it.

 

[sunzt]

Originally posted by: sandmanwake
Resist all these calls for you to make amends with your neighbor. Let them fester in anger and hatred. Let them go unkindly into their graves cursing your name.

Let it fester and it may spill into the OP's life in a negative way. Plus it's not a healthy situation for OP's family to be wary/avoiding neighbors due to negative and hostile reasons. Just another bad situation in their life that they have to deal with, and they're right next door.

 

[thomsbrain]

surprised i missed this thread before. read through the OP. a good rant, and i think you handled it in a good way. you got a new fence, you got revenge, and you did it in a perfectly legal manner. if they don't like it, they can build their own damn fence.

 

[wyvrn]

Originally posted by: sunzt
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: sandmanwake
Resist all these calls for you to make amends with your neighbor. Let them fester in anger and hatred. Let them go unkindly into their graves cursing your name.</end quote></div>

Let it fester and it may spill into the OP's life in a negative way. Plus it's not a healthy situation for OP's family to be wary/avoiding neighbors due to negative and hostile reasons. Just another bad situation in their life that they have to deal with, and they're right next door.

Interesting take. I don't believe in karma or destiny, or anything similar. However, I do agree about having too much conflict or negative energy in life will reduce the overall quality and happiness.

But I'm not going to fix the fence color just yet I'll give some time for them to simmer, then we'll see about making any sort of amends.