IT spec-ed my connection.Citrix is fine. Your connection sucks.
We have even begun upgrading older laptops with SSDs and they work better than ever. Too many times I see some idiot ordering corporate desktops with 1TB 5400RPM drives. Really?
My computer needs an additional 8 GB of RAM and an SSD, then I'll stop complaining about it.
PSA from everyone to IT:
When we know for a fact that our work computers are over 6 years old and it takes well over a full minute to open a single small text file in Notepad, or to view a tiny JPG image, or even to open www.google.com as a webpage, please stop saying that it is the user's fault.
My computer needs an additional 8 GB of RAM and an SSD, then I'll stop complaining about it.
Meh, that's nothing. I want to know who these idiots are who walk into the copier room... "Hmmm, where's my 20 page printout?" Go back to their room, click print again. Lather, rinse, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat.
IT'S F'ING JAMMED YOU IDIOT!
I go to make a 1 page photocopy. "Hmmm. The copier has a paper jam." <fixes jam> "That ought to do it." Click. "Hey, this isn't my copy. This isn't my copy either. What? Page 3 of 15? Okay.... <counting> 13.....14......15.... WTF? This isn't my page. Page 1 of 15?!!" 10 minutes later, there's a ream of paper sitting on the output tray. And, there's no way I can delete someone else's print job. Wouldn't want people deleting stuff that other people need.
PSA from everyone to IT:
When we know for a fact that our work computers are over 6 years old and it takes well over a full minute to open a single small text file in Notepad, or to view a tiny JPG image, or even to open www.google.com as a webpage, please stop saying that it is the user's fault.
Unpacking and imaging those would be so fun!Talk to the people with the money then, IT would gladly give everyone a SSD and 1TB ram with a dual 16 core system.
IT spec-ed my connection.
Actually, to IT's credit, they have been in a two year pissing match with the telco over the quality of the building connection. The telco has never met its contracted specs on the far side of the switch. The telco's attitude has been, "Google ain't here yet so piss off."
The CIO also came back last week from the annual FreeBSD Developer's conference in Las Vegas last month. (He was already in Vegas, so he took some vacation days.) Apparently, we are going to need to change some of our core servers from Windows to FreeBSD, because it is free. However, we aren't getting any new reqs from HR to hire people who are experienced FreeBSD sysadmins. So please bear with us while we figure out how this stuff works. (Steve says it's kinda like Linux.)
We got a book called "UNIX for Dummies" but if anybody else has some recommendations, we'd appreciate them. The CIO gave us a $100 gift card to Barnes & Noble for training materials.
Sincerely,
IT
Dear Users,
Faster hardware is paid for by executives who allocate funds.
The executives have very nice computers, and get new ones every year or two.
Incidentally, they also think everything is nice and fast and don't see why we need a quarter million dollars a year for new desktops in the cubicle farm, since all you guys do is Excel and Word, but they have to use heavy duty multimedia applications like Powerpoint. So, we didn't get the funding, and any new computers will be purchased at Best Buy, then equipped with 160GB, 5400rpm hard drives pulled from the old ones.
In order to comply with new security rules pushed by the CIO, we will be implementing deep packet inspection on all production (cubicle farm) networks. (The network in the executive suite is exempt from this requirement, since they don't do source code or code review.) This will slow things down considerably, since we can't afford a new firewall with a requisite beefy CPU - we are simply enabling packet inspection on our 20-year-old firewall appliance made by that company that went bankrupt because its products performed so poorly.
Pursuant to the other recommendations made by the consulting company that the CIO hired (his son runs it - nice guy, you'd like him. He bought us hamburgers.), we will now be enforcing a required password change every 30 days. Your password will need to be at least 18 characters long, contain at least three uppercase letters, one number, and two special characters. The system will remember the last 87 passwords you used, so no fair recycling.
The CIO also came back last week from the annual FreeBSD Developer's conference in Las Vegas last month. (He was already in Vegas, so he took some vacation days.) Apparently, we are going to need to change some of our core servers from Windows to FreeBSD, because it is free. However, we aren't getting any new reqs from HR to hire people who are experienced FreeBSD sysadmins. So please bear with us while we figure out how this stuff works. (Steve says it's kinda like Linux.)
We got a book called "UNIX for Dummies" but if anybody else has some recommendations, we'd appreciate them. The CIO gave us a $100 gift card to Barnes & Noble for training materials.
Sincerely,
IT
The biggest issue in a slow computer IMO for corporate users is a shitty hard drive. I have been ordering laptops\desktops with SSDs for years. Never hear a complaint about slowness. We have even begun upgrading older laptops with SSDs and they work better than ever. Too many times I see some idiot ordering corporate desktops with 1TB 5400RPM drives. Really?
My mother has a slow computer with XP she uses for web browsing and word processing and it can take upwards of 15-20 seconds to get anything to work sometimes. (computer programs, not talking internet/lantecy ms) Intensive scan with avast and spybot turns up nothing, uses chrome with adblock, latest flash and security updates (outside of ended XP support) even ccleaner cleaning the system out and cleaning the registry plus defragging the harddrive doesn't seem to help. Reinstalling windows would probably do the trick, but still. Makes you wonder just what it is that bogs down a well maintained machine, even if it is old.
Defrag. Shit registry (ccleaner will fix most of this) and running new code on older processors. New code requires more cpu/memory over time. Updating all your programs and installing more than you started with/need is what slows things down.
It's not like the hardware suddenly performs slower.
Meh, that's nothing. I want to know who these idiots are who walk into the copier room... "Hmmm, where's my 20 page printout?" Go back to their room, click print again. Lather, rinse, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat.
IT'S F'ING JAMMED YOU IDIOT!
I go to make a 1 page photocopy. "Hmmm. The copier has a paper jam." <fixes jam> "That ought to do it." Click. "Hey, this isn't my copy. This isn't my copy either. What? Page 3 of 15? Okay.... <counting> 13.....14......15.... WTF? This isn't my page. Page 1 of 15?!!" 10 minutes later, there's a ream of paper sitting on the output tray. And, there's no way I can delete someone else's print job. Wouldn't want people deleting stuff that other people need.
PSA from everyone to IT:
When we know for a fact that our work computers are over 6 years old and it takes well over a full minute to open a single small text file in Notepad, or to view a tiny JPG image, or even to open www.google.com as a webpage, please stop saying that it is the user's fault.
When users stop lying to me when i am trying to troubleshoot their issues then I might consider the possibility it may not be their fault.