RANT: my parents suck. seriously.

[secretanchitman]

well, im a young/middle-aged teenager. im in high school, getting good grades, have a steady one-year plus girlfriend whom i love very much. you would think theres nothing wrong but theres a huge problem behind all this. my parents.

my relationship with my girlfriend since freshman year has been a complete secret from my parents. (sometimes, they found out that i had been with her) the thing is, they really really hate relationships for some reason. this same thing has happened to my older brother, who is 22. they dont even permit him to have a girlfriend, even though he has (still does).

i finally broke down the news to my parents the other day that i had a girlfriend (a huge surprise, isnt it? not really). i told him how she is asian (im indian, btw), gets good grades, helps me with school (i suck at studying), blah blah. shes perfect and shes the best. i'd rather have no one else than her. my parents dislike this bf/gf thing for god-knows-why. all the responses ive ever gotten from them are that "we dont want you to have a gf right now. wait until med school, or after college." i ask why? its not anything bad, and im pretty #$%@ sure that we arent gonna have sex. believe me. im not that stupid to have a teen pregnancy. i always ask my folks why they hate my dating/relationship. they never say a word. they just get mad about it and blow it off. even the other indians and asians and whoall else they want to compare has/had girlfriends. i really dont know why they hate it.

i dont know what to do. should i just sit here, rant/cry/moan about it, as i always do whenever it comes to these things, or should i just tell them to @#$% off, im going, bye, whatever? or i should just stfu says the AT flamers out there. i prolly will, but this has been going on for just about a year now, and its really driving me crazy. ive seen my bro for help (he really cant do anything about it), my gf (says to do w/e your heart says), my conselor (didnt help at all, cause he was gonna call my parents and talk about it, but instead, my parents were talking to him over the phone about grades and study habits instead, so my conselor is on their side), and even my friends. i cant break up with her, and i dont even consider that an option, because i really do love her, and...yeah, all that mushy stuff comes into play which i dont even want to say..

cliffs-notes:

1: my parents suck
2: why do my parents hate girls/relationships?
3: what should i do about this/what are my options i can do?

 

[The Stigenator]

welcome to being born to indian parents..

thank god my parents are not like that..but i know other parents that are..

deal with it.. when you have kids you will do the necessary changes.

 

[alm4rr]

sounds like Bend It Like Beckham!

 

[Bryophyte]

Hormones are a bitch, huh?

 

[secretanchitman]

i know, it sucks.

lucky indian, whose parents arent like mine.

 

[secretanchitman]

3 posts in the same minute, nice!

but anyways, i try hard to get rid of them whenever i can, but it aint workin' yo...

 

[The Stigenator]

the problem is indian parents in the US arent open to things.. they still think they got to bring thier kids up in the indian way... not realising that in india dating is totally cool .. but here it isint because they are stuck in the mentality that was present in india when they left india whenever they did.

my parents are open because they met here and go married here in the US.. im in a different class of things.

anycase, try dating an indian girl you will run into the same issues, very hard to find indian girls with open families.. frankly parents should loosen up.. they are way too tight.. kids are goign to rebel.. regardless of your rules.

 

[secretanchitman]

i know. honestly, i dislike all the indian girls i know. they're worthless, seriously.

 

[Kishan]

they hate the gf thing because they're indian. I'm indian, and indian parents are stupid aboiut these things. Quite honestly, most indians are generally stupid people-all they know how to do is study, no common sense. This is what you have to understand as well, who's paying for your med school? If they are, then you have to STFU. You will not be able to change that, unless you go to state school instead of a top notch school. No way around it buddy. I understand, I'm indian.

 

[secretanchitman]

ya know? i always thought that i was gonna have to pay for med school/college myself, until they told me.

thanks ya'll for helping me.

 

[Kishan]

indian girls come in 2 flavors-ugly ones concentrated on school, or whores that like white kids. Me, being an Indian who doesn't look indian whatsoever think most Indian girls are just bitches

 

[Supertastic Fool]

This is the first, my parents are stupid thread that I read and wholeheartedly agree with. I had to hid my relationships when I was younger for the same reasons, even though I'm a white boy. They don't realize that once you reach about the age of 16 you are pretty much going to do what you want with or without their consent so they should just get the hell over it. This isn't saying don't have rules, just lighten up some.

 

[secretanchitman]

lolol. exactly, thats how they all are in my school.

 

[Kishan]

Originally posted by: secretanchitman
ya know? i always thought that i was gonna have to pay for med school/college myself, until they told me.

thanks ya'll for helping me.

watch out man-if this chick is worth half a million bucks, go for it

 

[secretanchitman]

hehe.

 

[Kipper]

Yeah, your parents suck.

 

[secretanchitman]

lol i know.

 

[secretanchitman]

well, again they are bitching at me for something...i dont even care now.

 

[jeremy806]

When you are young... do what your parents tell you. When you get older/independent, do what you want. When you are 18, move out and live your own life...

Bummer, but a short term bummer at that...


jeremy806

 

[MithShrike]

Glad I'm White... not really.

 

[Saulbadguy]

Start doing crack. That will get their attention real quick.

 

[secretanchitman]

hell no. im not a druggie, and nor will i ever be.

 

[mchammer187]

you have already been betrothed but your parents havent told you yet

good luck

 

[athithi]

Originally posted by: mchammer187
you have already been betrothed but your parents havent told you yet

good luck

Seriously though, you parents are just over-protective of you. I doubt that's something you will be able to change - ever! But don't cut your nose to spite your face. When you step out into the adult world you will face people that continue to try to make you do what they want you to do. And trust me, these people won't be paying for med school either. Think of it as a small price to pay for the benefit of being born in an immigrant community that is among the most successful, law-abiding and talented ones in this country. Obviously your parents' behaviour is not the ideal way to treat a youngster, but this is not permanent and soon you will be able to look after yourself. There are a lot of kids out there who are being brought up with problems that can never be corrected and that will cause them loss of opportunities throughout their lives.

I guess my point is that in the big scheme of things, that your parents don't approve of your having a girlfriend is something that will resolve itself with time, and very shortly too. Just don't do something stupid to spite your parents - you don't sound like someone that would, but I just had to say it.

EDIT: I met my wife when I was 18 and she was 17 - and I trust you when you say you are serious about your girlfriend. But if your love is enduring, you will learn to make it a part of your lives without disrupting everything else. Falling in love only encouraged me to do better things and become more successful. I hope you will learn to see it that way too.

 

[secretanchitman]

yo-ers, im back.

thanks athithi. that edit part kicks major arse, heh heh.

but for an update, my dad is now saying that they would be happy if rachel (my girlfriend) and i went out with friends as well for dinner...we both want this to be a nice, formail dinner with just us two alone.

silly parents, trix are for kids (lol sorry i had to type that)