Originally posted by: Zebo
Fusk the South. Fusk 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah, those are states we want to keep.
And now what do we get? We're the fusking Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really?
Cause we fusking founded this country, assholes. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullsh1t about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the fusking sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were fusking blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the fusking monuments are up here in our backyard?
No, No. Get the fusk out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and fusking Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think those fusking stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for fusking blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their fusking Subarus together and broken off from New York a little earlier. Get it? We started this sh1t, so don't get all uppity about how real you are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for almost a hundred years" dickheads. Fusk off.
Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being fusking arrogant? What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don't think so. Arrogance is the fusking cornerstone of what it means to be American. And I wouldn't be so fusking arrogant if I wasn't paying for your fusking bridges, bitch.
All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your fusking Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a fusking swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it's a sh1thole," we said, but you had to have your fusking orange juice.
The next dickwad who says, "It's your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal fusking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That's right, motherfusker, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It's too easy, asshole, they're blue states. It's not your money, assholes, it's fusking our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own fusking stop signs, assholes.
Let's talk about those values for a fusking minute. You and your Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values over you fusking Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It's fusking Massachusetts, the fusking center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that's right, the state you want to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the fusking nation. Think that's just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are fusking blue states, asshole, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to fusking guess? 10 of the top 10 are fusking red-ass we're-so-fusking-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible Belt is doing its fusking part.
But two guys making out is going to fusking ruin marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little bastards. Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you do, right? Cause we fusking get to hear about it every goddamn year at election time. Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and then you're fusking towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us fusking Northerners don't talk about religion as much as you because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous assholes? No, you're too busy erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments in buildings paid for by the fusking Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North, assholes.
Well this gravy train is fusking over. Take your liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou, hypocritical bullsh1t and shove it up your ass.
And no, you can't have your fusking convention in New York next time. Fusk off.
God I love this site...had to clean it up a bit: Word found 49 find and replace for fusk and 5 for sh1t
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