Relationship with Fathers...

[vi edit]

Originally posted by: psydancerqt
i get along great with my dad. he's ready and willing to do anything for me! he just wants me to be happy in life.

Same here.

 

[ATLien247]

My father was never really there growing up. I mean, he was there physically, but it seemed to me that he always had something better to do than to spend time with his family. Honestly, I don't really know the man all that well. And what I do know of him rubs me the wrong way. He only lives about 5 miles away, but I haven't talked to him in at least a year. If he had anything going for him it was that he was there financially, even if he had to work two jobs.

Unfortunately, I sometimes find myself tending to behave like him towards my own children. It scares me to death, because I want to be a great father, like the one I never had.

 

[chambersc]

Originally posted by: ATLien247
My father was never really there growing up. I mean, he was there physically, but it seemed to me that he always had something better to do than to spend time with his family. Honestly, I don't really know the man all that well. And what I do know of him rubs me the wrong way. He only lives about 5 miles away, but I haven't talked to him in at least a year. If he had anything going for him it was that he was there financially, even if he had to work two jobs.

Unfortunately, I sometimes find myself tending to behave like him towards my own children. It scares me to death, because I want to be a great father, like the one I never had.

So true....so true. Especially the last part where you're noticing that you're acting like him. I don't have kids yet but I know I'll hate myself forever if I act the way he did to me.

 

[moshquerade]

It was pretty great.

 

[Scouzer]

My dad is a an alcoholic whom I hated through a good chunk of my childhood (12-16).

Then his employer (my employer now too! imagine that) forced him into rehab. It did not solve the problem but now he is a functioning alcoholic and still accomplishes what he needs to do.

Now I love him very much. I still don't regret periods of my childhood where I refused to speak with him for 6 months at a time. He lived less than a mile from me and I'd go 6 months between seeing him.

Now I live 350km away and I see him 1-2 times a month and talk to him weekly. I'm 19 now..

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
This thread is depressing me...

Son,life isn't like it is portrayed on holiday tv commercials for the vast majority of people.

The thing to celebrate is how many folks manage to rise above less than optium family backgrouds and go on to make decent lives for themselves.

I have a husband and a son who love me very much, grown daughters and grandkids,even a friend or two and co-workers who value me..oh and our cat

Oh believe me, I know that. I said that because this thread made me reflect on my relationship with my Father.

I have a loving wife and a son of my own and we have a good life despite the messed up childhood I endured. I could tell you some stories about my Mom's second husband but there's no need to go into that nutball's impact on my childhood. Probably make an interesting made for TV movie though. He was a drunk and prone to suicidal tendancies and violence...

Great, now I'm depressed again...:roll:

 

[6StringSamurai]

I have pretty much no relationship with my Dad, never had. My mom taught me how to ride a bike, throw a ball, how to shave, how to tie a tie, how to dance. My dad worked, and watched tv. The most attention I got from him was one time we took a trip to Myrtle Beach SC, just the 2 of us. I was only 13 at the time, we went fishing off of the pier, ate at some really cool restaurants, walked up and down the beach there. The absolute best time of my life with my Dad. Sadly we only did it once. My dad did not watch sports, or hunt, or anything. Now we have nothing in common, he calls when he needs help with his computer. Me and my mom talk about once a week.

 

[FoBoT]

:thumbsup:

 

[Juno]

i love my dad.

one day, he and i will sign up for PBA father and son team classic golf tourney.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
This thread is depressing me...

Son,life isn't like it is portrayed on holiday tv commercials for the vast majority of people.

The thing to celebrate is how many folks manage to rise above less than optium family backgrouds and go on to make decent lives for themselves.

I have a husband and a son who love me very much, grown daughters and grandkids,even a friend or two and co-workers who value me..oh and our cat

Oh believe me, I know that. I said that because this thread made me reflect on my relationship with my Father.

I have a loving wife and a son of my own and we have a good life despite the messed up childhood I endured. I could tell you some stories about my Mom's second husband but there's no need to go into that nutball's impact on my childhood. Probably make an interesting made for TV movie though. He was a drunk and prone to suicidal tendancies and violence...

Great, now I'm depressed again...:roll:

I was fortunate enough to have a convo or 2 with my mother is which she was able to rise above her own turmoil long enough to share a bit about her childhood.The woman was beaten within an inch of her life and she and her 3 sisters were placed in foster care.Now, my grandfather was a professional man..to have 3 kids taken out of the home of a medical professional in NYC in the 1940's? her life had to have been hell on earth.

She did the best she could as a parent with what she had availble to her in terms of her emotional resources.I don't hate her anymore, I can even think up a good memory or two but that doesn't translate into a desire for closeness,just a desire to forgive and move forward.

I had many,many failings as a parent but I did let my own kids know that without a doubt they were the smartest,kindest,funnierst,best looking children on the planet and that if there was fault it was mine.

 

[BurnItDwn]

Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
I was asking a friend about his mom and dad yesterday, and I asked him to tell me one good thing about his father. His reply was that there was only one good thing about him. That he will be dead one day. He was being very serious.
Anyone else have this type of hateful view on their dad?

I used to have that view of my father.
When my parents got divorced it was eally nasty and I started to hate my father.
That was 1992ish and I was about 12 years old. By the time I was 18 I overcame that. Currently, I get along great with my father. We don't see each other very often (a few times per year), but when we do, we get along very well.

 

[Platypus]

We used to absolutely hate each other.. I can remember in high school going months without saying more than a few words to him. The problem is we're exactly alike.. and that caused a lot of butting heads together growing up.

After I moved out at 18 everything changed. I think it was a combination of me growing up and understanding some of the things we used to fight about and him realizing I was an adult now and treating me more like a good friend than a father. We get along very well now though we don't see much of each other anymore, maybe a handful of times a year.

Sigh.. now I want to call my father

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
This thread is depressing me...

Son,life isn't like it is portrayed on holiday tv commercials for the vast majority of people.

The thing to celebrate is how many folks manage to rise above less than optium family backgrouds and go on to make decent lives for themselves.

I have a husband and a son who love me very much, grown daughters and grandkids,even a friend or two and co-workers who value me..oh and our cat

Oh believe me, I know that. I said that because this thread made me reflect on my relationship with my Father.

I have a loving wife and a son of my own and we have a good life despite the messed up childhood I endured. I could tell you some stories about my Mom's second husband but there's no need to go into that nutball's impact on my childhood. Probably make an interesting made for TV movie though. He was a drunk and prone to suicidal tendancies and violence...

Great, now I'm depressed again...:roll:

I was fortunate enough to have a convo or 2 with my mother is which she was able to rise above her own turmoil long enough to share a bit about her childhood.The woman was beaten within an inch of her life and she and her 3 sisters were placed in foster care.Now, my grandfather was a professional man..to have 3 kids taken out of the home of a medical professional in NYC in the 1940's? her life had to have been hell on earth.

She did the best she could as a parent with what she had availble to her in terms of her emotional resources.I don't hate her anymore, I can even think up a good memory or two but that doesn't translate into a desire for closeness,just a desire to forgive and move forward.

I had many,many failings as a parent but I did let my own kids know that without a doubt they were the smartest,kindest,funnierst,best looking children on the planet and that if there was fault it was mine.

Yeah, I have a great relationship with my Mom and her third and final husband. She's been married to this man for about 20 years now. They come out to visit and stay with us about once a year (they live in Florida). I love them both very much and enjoy their visits. I call my Step Dad and we talk about football on pretty much a weekly basis. It's all good.

I'm going to make it a point to talk to my Dad this weekend.

I never talk to my Mom's second husband. I don't even know if he's still alive...god knows he tried to kill himself twice that I know of (once when married to my Mom and once prior). He stuck a rifle in his mouth and pulled the trigger, he blew part of his face off but lived...I was 9 years old when that happened. My Mom left him after that incident...I guess that was the final straw. She wasn't going to wait around for him to finally off himself and possibly take us with him.

 

[Jikininki]

My dad and I have our differences...especially when it comes to the guys I date, but mostly he's just a controlling overprotective freak...and he doesn't even do it to my face! He uses my mom as his "shield/enforcer". When I was little (pre-teens) he was pretty good to me and everyone thought me "daddy's little girl"..but as I got older he became more distant and ended up kinda being just an ATM machine to me. I think he actually LIKED being the money dispenser cause it made him feel useful and now that I have a job and can pay my own way he feels the only way to keep track of me is to control me. Sigh....

Hopefully by the time I turn 30 (i'm 23 now) he'll mellow out some. Heh. Or if I take up an active interest in Taiwanese politics he'll like me more...that's the one thing he's truly passionate about these days, it seems.

But he's still my dad...and since I'm asian and the youngest daughter, i have no choice but to love and respect him. Plus he's the only person in my family that I worry about "disappointing". When I was at the lowest point in my life (about 4-5 years ago) it was thoughts of disappointing my dad that brought me out of my depression. I have no hope that he'll happily walk me down the isle one day or anything (his dislike of my bf's is seriously unfair and unreasonable!), but I know he'll always be there to support me (even if it's just financially) if I need him.

 

[Rogueverve]

Originally posted by: krunchykrome

Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
I was asking a friend about his mom and dad yesterday, and I asked him to tell me one good thing about his father. His reply was that there was only one good thing about him. That he will be dead one day. He was being very serious.
Anyone else have this type of hateful view on their dad?

I dont have a good relationship with my father. In fact, every bad characteristic about myself Id say I got from him. In short, he ruined our family with his controlling, stubborn, and unreasonable personality. He doesnt know a thing about me, and although he always supported the family financially, he never really grasped the concept of family; to this day, Im embarressed to say that other that meeting them a few times briefly, I know none of my outside family (cousins, grandparents, uncles, neices, nephews, etc).

The only good thing I got from my father was his strong will.

Pretty much describes my father to the letter. Mine's controlling personality has pretty much been the root of most of the families problems and arguements. My mother is better in that she is at least willing to talk and is affectionate but she didn't have a mother growing up (hers died of cancer when she was 10) so she unfortunately often forgets that I am no longer.... 10... Her maternal instincts are stuck at that age.

Kinda sad, but at least I talk with my mother once a week. My father.. meh.. I've tried to talk to him in the past but its usually like talking to a brick wall.

The worst part is that on the surface they haven't actually done anything to me (no abuse, no outright I hate you or anything) so I continue to feel obligated to talk with them and make such an awkward stressful relationship a part of my life.

 

[Nohr]

I love my dad, I wish I could see him more often. He's up in Canada and I'm down here in Texas so it only happens once every few years. We do keep in touch via email but it's just not the same.

He was relatively old when I was born, 48, and he already had 6 grown up kids from a previous marriage. But he still treated me like I was his first.

 

[DaShen]

I have a lot of pent up issues with my dad, but he is still my dad and family, and we still care for each other.

He just isn't the most mature person I know. But he still did his best, and he has tried to be better, so that is all that anyone can ask.

 

[DanTMWTMP]

me and my dad don't agree on a lot of things, but he's always there to give me solid advice.
my dad's a cool guy. he's my fav. sports buddy.

and please...no jokes... u know who u are

 

[lyssword]

I grew up w/out father

 

[K1052]

Originally posted by: DanTMWTMP
me and my dad don't agree on a lot of things, but he's always there to give me solid advice.
my dad's a cool guy. he's my fav. sports buddy.

and please...no jokes... u know who u are

bwahahaha

I forgot all about that until just now. That was comedy gold.

 

[jemcam]

I had plenty of ups and downs with my Dad, particularly in my teens. My Dad had his own auto body shop/mechanical shop and I worked for him at the shop every day all through junior high, high school and college when I wasn't in school. Because of that, he was also my employer for about 8 years or so and that made it a little different. Also because of that, there was a lot of things he didn't have to tell me, but he did cut me some slack in other areas. I did damn near everything in that shop over the years from sweeping the floors and emptying garbage cans, running parts, giving rides to customers, working on cars, etc. The other guys used to get really pissed off at me because I had no set hours, so I would usually come in around 9:00 or so and stay until closing at 5:30. I never did tell them that I wasn't getting a paycheck like they were, I was just getting a lot of my expenses paid. I should have told those fvckheads to kiss my ass but I didn't want to cause trouble and get my ass kicked by my Dad.

He died in 1995 from cancer and I have missed him terribly. What I think I regret most about him dying is him not being able to know my son, who is now 9 years old. For the first several years after his death I wanted his advice and wisdom on things, but I must have outgrew that because I don't remember thinking "I wonder what Dad's advice would be?". In any case, I practically worshipped him and most of what I did up until he died was done in order to make him proud of me because I always sought his approval.

I miss him terribly.

 

[tfinch2]

Well, while I was growing up my dad and I weren't very close, but as I got involved in sports he loved to watch me play, and from then on our relationship got better and better, and we found a lot of common interests and activities. It was hard leaving for school because it felt like my relationship with my dad was just getting started.

 

[waggy]

i have always been very close with my dad. guess i got lucky on that.

though when i was 18 i found out all the paperwork for me (SS card, Birth cirtificate etc) did not have him as father. they had some other guy. also they had my last name as the other guys also.

was a pain to change it all.

so do i know for sure if he is my "biological father"? no. do i care? no. he was there for all my health troubles, takeing me to wrestling practice and sending me to camps, he taught me to drive, taught me how to be a good father.

 

[Alienwho]

My dad is awesome. I don't know what else to say. He's always there for me. He does anything in his power to help me out. He's hilarious and is always the life of the party. At family parties, he's the cool uncle who everybody hangs around for entertainment. When i'm together with my dad though it's just amplified a thousand times and it's non stop comedy gold (which is weird because while i'm outgoing, i'm also not the kind of guy that is the life of the party and generally likes to be the center of attention). All my friends growing up, and even to this day were always jealous and thought I had the coolest dad alive. Half the time my friends went over to my house just to talk with my dad and get fed by mom, and that still happens to this day even though I've been moved out for 5 years. He's taught me so many lessons that i've never forgotten.

I remember once when I was a kid, 8 or 9 years old, one of my friends was over and my dad was being so cool and nice to my friend that I was actually getting jealous. After my friend left i kind of threw a fit about it because I wanted that attention. My dad just kind of sat me down and told me that my friend didn't get to see his dad very often (if ever) and that sometimes we need to put other peoples needs above our own.

That really hit me hard and was a hefty lesson for a 9 year old. I don't think I ever acted the same from then on.

 

[TXHokie]

Mine passed away this June the week right before Father's day . It's gonna be tough every year here on out when Father's Day rolls around. All I can think about since is that any event that happens is one he's not around to see or share with. I am envious of all those around me who still has their Dad around.