This is not so much about the soldiers, and more about the decision makers. I want to make that distinction because many times we don't have a window into what an individual soldier is experiencing or doing, and many of their decisions are made in the stress of combat. On the other hand, we can very clearly see what the result of a raid is, and then observe what the political leadership says and does. FWIW
I think it's really tricky when you try to get at what's inside someone's heart. What you see probably says more about you than it does about them. If you really want to know what I think, I think it's a complicated mixture of dehumanization of the people that are killed or hurt, rationalizing the decision, an earnest sense that the these kinds of raids are necessary for a security perspective, and a practical sense that remorse for the loss of Yemeni civilians is not tolerated in the public discourse.
But I don't agree that we should try to get at what's in someone's heart in this case. If the Obama administration or the Trump administration orders a raid that turns out the way the raid in Yemen turns out, and they morn the loss of an American combatant, but not the deaths of many non-combatants, I think we need to see that as a monstrous in its own right.
I think it's a big mistake to exceptionalize the monstrousness of the Jordanian (or the people who supported what he did) against the monstrousness of a government that doesn't express any remorse for the civilian suffering caused by their raids. They're both rooted in dehumanizing people and convincing yourself that the benefit of your actions are worth the human cost. I think if you're trying to make a moral distinction there, it's either because you're trying to diminish the legitimacy of the Jordanian's feelings about Israel, or trying to diminish the importance of the civilian casualties in the American raid.