:00 pm ? Ceremonial burning of the U.S. Constitution
7:15 pm ? Spiritual Medium Sylvia Browne performs psychic séance in desperate attempt to raise Ronald Reagan from the grave
7:35 pm ? "The Pleasu res of Adultery" - with Newt Gingrich & Rudy Giuliani
8:05 pm ? Gay sex party in Men's Restroom hosted by Senator Larry Craig
8:35 pm - Transvestite Ann Coulter ? "My Life as a Man"
8:55 pm ? Live satellite feed from Federal Prison ? Ohio Rep. Bob Ney
9:05 pm ? Guest speaker ex-Florida Congressman Mark Foley " Joys with Young Boys"
9:25 pm ? Oliver North ? " Iran is Evil, but I sold them weapons anyway"
9:40 pm ? Bill O' Reilly ? " The costs of sexual harassment and phone sex with employees"
10:00 pm ? Gay sex party in Men's Room hosted by Ken Mehlman and Geraldo Rivera
10:25 pm ? Check John McCain to see if he's still breathing and if his adult diaper needs changed.
10:35 pm ? N.R.A. President hosts an assault riffle target practice on Gays and Mexicans.
10:45 pm - Call emergency squad after a drunken Dick Cheney accidentally shoots his friend in the face.
11:00 pm ? President Bush performs his hilarious comedy routine where he looks for Iraq's fictitious WMD's under guests tables.
11:15 pm ? Governor Mike Huckabee does his famous uncanny imitation of Gomer Pyle.
11:20 pm ? Group intervention to get Rush Limbaugh back into drug rehab
11: 45 pm ? Go up on rooftop and throw rocks down at homeless Vets sleeping in alley.
12:00 am ? Live satellite feed from Federal Prison ? California Congressman Randy "Duke" Cunningham
12:20 am ? Convicted felon/Fox News analyst G. Gordon Liddy ? Lock picking secrets
12: 40 am ? Guest speakers Donald Rumsfeld and Paul Wolfowitz ? "How to lie your Country into a War"
1:00 am ? Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay ? "Tips on Money Laundering"
1:15 am ? Hookers arrive for after party