Sad Story ***New Update

[datalink7]

Originally posted by: p0ntif
Don't let your dad leave. Sit him down, try to talk with him, or as pillage said, FOLLOW him! When he says 'this is the last time i'll see you' he may mean it. he may find a lighter next time. Get him.

He is going to be back later today. I am pretty sure he is past the suicidal stage. I have to figure out what to do when he comes back.

 

[UglyCasanova]

Originally posted by: pillage2001

Originally posted by: datalink7

Originally posted by: Radiohead
Holy sh!t dude... I really don't know what to say but that I pray your dad doesn't do something irreversible.

Is your mom not even trying to calm your dad down... is she just leaving him as he is?

Yah, my mom just let him leave without saying anything.

And you??

??? :disgust:

How is your little sister taking this? See how your mom is doing as well. She may seem calm and collected, but there's no telling.

 

[Radiohead]

Originally posted by: datalink7

Originally posted by: pillage2001

Originally posted by: datalink7

Originally posted by: Radiohead
Holy sh!t dude... I really don't know what to say but that I pray your dad doesn't do something irreversible.

Is your mom not even trying to calm your dad down... is she just leaving him as he is?

Yah, my mom just let him leave without saying anything.

And you??

I wanted to follow him, but he said I have to stay. I hugged him and said I loved him, and wrote down my cell phone number for him. I would have followed him but my mom is sitting on the couch in a daze and he wanted me to take care of my sisters. I don't know, maybe it was a mistake to stay.

arg

Dude, don't let him go off alone. He is very fragile, mentally... suicidal comes to my mind from reading what you have told us.

Call a relative from his family, brother, sister... someone that he can talk to.

If he's gone, call the police & say he's missing & is in a really bad mindset, possibly hurting or even killing himself, just don't let him disappear man.

Edit
just saw your latest post. How can you be sure he's not suicidal anymore

 

[p0ntif]

Well, hopefully you can sit down and reason with him. figure out whats wrong . . . you have a right to know, this affects your life as much as it does your parents and your sisters. You need to talk about this as a family. this stopped being about just your parents once they had you and your sisters. This affects all of you. Hopefully he'll have cooled off when he returns later today. My heart goes out to your family, and more specifically you and your sisters.

 

[pillage2001]

Originally posted by: datalink7

Originally posted by: p0ntif
Don't let your dad leave. Sit him down, try to talk with him, or as pillage said, FOLLOW him! When he says 'this is the last time i'll see you' he may mean it. he may find a lighter next time. Get him.

He is going to be back later today. I am pretty sure he is past the suicidal stage. I have to figure out what to do when he comes back.

Sit him down, talk to him. It's better to talk outside the house, maybe go out for breakfast/lunch or something. Try to get things off his mind. If he really wants to leave, keep constant contact with him. Ask him to leave you a note on where is he going and his number. Never once lose your communication with him. I'm pretty sure your sister could get the house moving.

You're the man now.

 

[Smolek]

Has he left now ?You have to let him cool down. No matter what said/done/happened tonight he was too heated to stick around and its best he got a hotel for the night.

I know this is easy to say when you dont experience it but hopefully you understand what im trying to say. If he has left the best thing is to get a good nights sleep. There is no sense in driving yourself crazy tonight over something that you arent able to fix right now. Nothing will happen during the night. Get a good rest.

He said he would be back tomorrow. When he comes back tomorrow ask if you two can go out to lunch/dinner/coffee whatever. Tell him you dont absolutely need to talk about what happened between them but if he wants to fine but you'll be willing to talk about anything. See what his plans are, where is he staying, any contact information, anything but tell him no matter where he goes you and your sisters want to stay in contact with him even if he doesnt want to talk to your mother.

 

[SilentRunning]

Originally posted by: datalink7
I asked my mom what she did, saying that I think I deserve to know. I also said that I still love her. She said "I can't tell you. It happened 17 years ago."

I don't know what it could possibly be that my dad would get THIS mad when it happened 17 years ago.

So when exactly is that 15 year olds birthday? Just a thought.

I really thought you should let your father deal with it on his own terms, but the gasoline comment makes me think that you really need to make sure he is not alone.

 

[Smolek]

Originally posted by: datalink7

Originally posted by: p0ntif
Don't let your dad leave. Sit him down, try to talk with him, or as pillage said, FOLLOW him! When he says 'this is the last time i'll see you' he may mean it. he may find a lighter next time. Get him.

He is going to be back later today. I am pretty sure he is past the suicidal stage. I have to figure out what to do when he comes back.

Yeah, from the sounds of it he doesnt intend on doing anything extreme since he is looking towards the future (coming back tomorrow, taking time to think about things) so you can rule that out.

 

[SHoddyCOmp]

Originally posted by: Smolek

Originally posted by: datalink7

Originally posted by: p0ntif
Don't let your dad leave. Sit him down, try to talk with him, or as pillage said, FOLLOW him! When he says 'this is the last time i'll see you' he may mean it. he may find a lighter next time. Get him.

He is going to be back later today. I am pretty sure he is past the suicidal stage. I have to figure out what to do when he comes back.

Yeah, from the sounds of it he doesnt intend on doing anything extreme since he is looking towards the future (coming back tomorrow, taking time to think about things) so you can rule that out.

Ive always heard that on the rebound from being extreemly depressed is when someone is the most dangerous to themselves...people 'think' theyre getting better so theyre not looking after them as well but in reality they just are coming to grips with themselves, still are absolutley not thinking rationally but have the mental power to get it done. Just PLEASE dont rule out that possiblity, beyond the current situation it would be horrible if you just let it go thinking hes past and recovering from the depression, but not the anger....

I just dont know what to say, i hope your family--or whats left can get through without any worse times than already have developed. Im really sorry to hear about that

 

[dmcowen674]

Originally posted by: datalink7
New update.

Today is the day the last part of my childhood truely left.

You pretty much summed it up already.

 

[ChefJoe]

Wow, that's terrible. You're doing all the right things to be supportive of the family and make sure your dad can communicate with you, but remind him that you want to be able to talk with him. Wherever he goes, you need to be able to reach him and know where he is for your own sake of mind right now. Whatever your mother did that's making him unhappy (we can only speculate at ATOT) seems to be a really heavy thing that your dad can't put up with.

RESPONSE TO BELOW: I dunno, it could be one of those things where male mind is unhappy about what happened and feels the last 17 years of living with the wife have all been a horrible lie.

 

[gotsmack]

what could be so bad that someone is still mad 17 years later? Did he just find out now?

 

[lilFajita]

it might not be that he is mad 17 years later as much as he recently found out what happened 17 years ago.

this is a very sad story, datalink. I am so sorry. Does your dad have brothers/sisters/parents to which he is close? I would contact those people and find a way for them to speak to him. Even if he doesn't want to be home, tell him to be with those people until he is at rational though again (which he definetly is not at right now.) I wouldn't guilt trip him, but I would make it clear (when you do see him again) that a life without him in it is unacceptable.

again, I am very sorry...I cann't even imagine how hard this must be on your and your family Our thoughts are with you.

 

[Azraele]

This is so sad.

While I understand that your dad's emotions are running high, I don't understand why he said that it was the last night he'd see you kids again....

Just because he's upset doesn't change the fact that he's a father...

 

[datalink7]

Originally posted by: Azraele
This is so sad.

While I understand that your dad's emotions are running high, I don't understand why he said that it was the last night he'd see you kids again....

Just because he's upset doesn't change the fact that he's a father...

I think he was just extremely upset. He just came back to pick up a few things before he left, and he said that he would keep in touch, but it might take a bit for him to set things up.

My father just left, and somehow I have to start school on monday

 

[JeffreyLebowski]

you sure you and all your siblings are his?

 

[datalink7]

Originally posted by: JeffreyLebowski
you sure you and all your siblings are his?

I am positive that I and my youngest sister are his (same teeth). My middle sister is about to turn 19, and my mom said this happened 17 years ago so that would rule out her, unless my mom meant "about 17 years ago."

I really don't know the whole situation... my mom doesn't want to talk about it and my dad said he coudln't talk about it at this point in time.

 

[TallBill]

all i can say is welcome to the club. i was eight when my parents got divorced. you notice it less when your younger, but theres still a lot of growing up to do that gets affected. it may be stranger since your older, but at least ya had your father while you grew up. just my take.

keep in touch while you can.

 

[JeffreyLebowski]

well whatever it is, if your dad went as far as pouring gas on himself you need to keep contact with him. Call the police if you have to if you think he'll do it again.

 

[Kadarin]

This ranks up there as one of the most amazing, sad, and touching stories I have ever read on ATOT. I feel for you and your sisters; your first day of hell has started, and it's going to continue for a long while. I also feel for your dad, as people don't generally act like that unless there's some serious provocation; I'm sure he can't help the way he's acting right now.

I wish you and your family the best of luck in the future.

 

[datalink7]

Originally posted by: JeffreyLebowski
well whatever it is, if your dad went as far as pouring gas on himself you need to keep contact with him. Call the police if you have to if you think he'll do it again.

I think that was just a reaction. He is talking about setting up somewhere else, and helping us with getting through college. So he is thinking about the future. I told him to call me or email me anytime, and he said he will stay in touch.

 

[datalink7]

Thank you everyone for your support. It really did help

 

[lilFajita]

at least this is better than you thought....if he is with relatives, then you still have access. Hopefully, they will calm him down. And he said he will keep in touch. I wish you strength and perspective in this time.

please come and vent anytime. It helps to talk it out.

sorry again

 

[Stark]

This seems to be happening a lot lately... marriages blowing up for no apparent reason. I've seen two in just the past few months, one in the marriage of my closest relatives.

It just sucks.

 

[Angrymarshmello]

Damn that sucks DL. Sorry to hear about that. Hope everything works out for the better, you'll get through it