Saltynuts takes on the world.... AND WINS!!!

[SaltyNuts]

I don't know how much you guys keep up with current events, but some years ago Germany took on the world. Twice. And lost both times. I too was going to take on the world. But I don't like losing.

Last Friday my significant other dropped me off at some dude's apartment like 25 miles away from my house. There he rented a 900 cc Triumph Scrambler. Bike picture below.

Now, outside the motorcycle training course I took the weekend before, I had almost no motorcycle riding experience. Hadn't touched a motorcycle in probably 30 years. But I don't give a FUK.

Rode that Triumph the whole way home. Half way in the dark. With it sprinkling rain for part of the way. Arrived alive and happy like a BOSS.

Did I stop there? No. I had the bug. I had to get me a bike. And not no wussy bike like that Scrambler. Dear LORD it was slow. For the next two days all I did was drive all around communities in and around south Houston. All the way down to damn near Galveston LOL. I put probably close to 200 miles on the bike.

What kind of bike was I looking for?

Snoopy said I needed to get wussy Grom, which looks like its made for kids.

More normal ATOT and the Garage folk said I should get a 125 or 250cc bike to learn on.

Sure, maybe those were sage, sensible suggestions.

Which is why I went out and found and bought one of the biggest, baddest fire-breaking dragons around. A 2005 VTX 1800. 1800 ccs, with 107 hp and 120 ft/lb of torque. A real hot rod. Immense power in any gear. So, SO much fun. Drove her home on Monday.

I took on the world, and I won.

But I'm not done yet. I still got the bug. I'm going big game hunting. I want more of the biggest, baddest bikes around. Starting with the muscle cruisers. I want a Pig. A Bully. A Raider. A Valkyrie. And I'm just getting warmed up!

Victory is sweet!!!!!

 

[brianmanahan]

 

[brianmanahan]

sounds like you had fun lol

i imagine you are decked out in leather right now

 

[Charmonium]

@SaltyNuts Why are there what look like undulating waves in you cement driveway? OMG . . . is the f'ing concrete in Houston melting now? Sweet Jesus . . . !!!

 

[lxskllr]

i imagine you are decked out in leather right now

 

[Dr. Detroit]

i imagine you are decked out in leather right now

 

[Charmonium]

View attachment 65856

The seven dwarf bikers - we're off to pack the fudge, we're off to pack the fudge. Somebody get Tom Cruise on the ticky tok.

 

[IronWing]

The best way to break in the leathers for that perfect fit is to get fully decked out, boots and all, and soak in the bathtub for an hour or so and then don’t take anything off until fully dry. The leather has to learn your body.

 

[Charmonium]

The best way to break in the leathers for that perfect fit is to get fully decked out, boots and all, and soak in the bathtub for an hour or so and then don’t take anything off until fully dry. The leather has to learn your body.

And cut off all but the most minimal supply of oxygen to your brain. Call the Anne H. fan club.
.
.
Too soon?

edit: moral of the story: Getting old is NOT for the weak. And a) getting old in Hollywood and b) as a female actress . . . well, you've only really got 2 options. She went for the door on the left.

 

[Captante]

Oh good you're alive!

And big surprise the Triumph was slow being a dual-purpose bike but at least it was a semi-smart choice for a "starter".

Also aside from off the line that VTX is NOT fast... it's an overweight clumsy pig for big fat old dudes in leathers. (then again maybe it's perfect for you!)


EDIT: If you want big heavy and FAST here's an unwise suggestion:

Kawasaki ZX-14R - Road Test - Everything else is officially slow.

"Within the first five minutes of the press introduction, world champion drag-racer Rickey Gadson reeled off an effortless, uncorrected 9.64-second pass at 149 mph"

(Cycle World ~ 2012)


Or you could go all-in:

Suzuki Hayabusa

(Rider magazine ~ 2021)

 

[Charmonium]

Oh good you're alive!

And big surprise the Triumph was slow being a dual-purpose bike but at least it was a semi-smart choice for a "starter".

Also aside from off the line that VTX is NOT fast... it's an overweight clumsy pig for big fat old dudes in leathers. (then again maybe it's perfect for you!)

Yes, yes my padawan, let the caustic bile flow thru you. Bwahahaha

 

[brianmanahan]

View attachment 65856

"i'm looking for something that says... 'dad likes leather'"

 

[brianmanahan]

I don't know how much you guys keep up with current events, but some years ago Germany took on the world. Twice. And lost both times. I too was going to take on the world. But I don't like losing.

this sounds like the first paragraph in a NY times #1 best-selling book to me

 

[UsandThem]

Salty should be the next extra in a Nugenix commercial.

"Nugenix gave me the drive to make soap, create epic gardens, ride my bike, and conquer the world. Take it from this tall good looking guy, it can do the same for you!".

 

[BudAshes]

sounds like you had fun lol

i imagine you are decked out in leather right now

Manahan crush.

 

[brianmanahan]

Manahan crush.

hey a manahan can dream

 

[BudAshes]

hey a manahan can dream

Sounds more like a nightmare to me...

 

[Lost_in_the_HTTP]

Told ya' he went all Al Bundy ....

Or maybe channeling his inner Al ......

 

[Red Squirrel]

View attachment 65856

They say pictures have no sound, but I can hear this picture. *trumpet music*

 

[sdifox]

 

[brianmanahan]

They say pictures have no sound, but I can hear this picture. *trumpet music*

i was expecting this one:

 

[Motostu]

Torque can be fun. Not my style of bike, but to each his own. Have fun, but really consider getting riding gear if you haven't yet.

 

[snoopy7548]

Snoopy said I needed to get wussy Grom, which looks like its made for kids.

Congrats on not killing yourself, but I still see a Grom in your future.

 

[Captante]

Congrats on not killing yourself, but I still see a Grom in your future.

Those things really are a blast... what he went with was pretty much the definition of "anti-Grom" though! (anti-fun too IMO)

Next bike I buy will be in the 750-900cc range and focus on being light and nimble in all riding situations not just at high speed.

 

[snoopy7548]

Those things really are a blast... what he went with was pretty much the definition of "anti-Grom" though! (anti-fun too IMO)

Next bike I buy will be in the 750-900cc range and focus on being light and nimble in all riding situations not just at high speed.

I briefly considered buying a Grom, even though I've never been on a bike in my life (except riding my friend's dirtbike when I was in middle school, which I instantly crashed). My work commute is ~20 minutes on secondary roads with speed limits under 45mph, but I'd probably end up badly hurting myself.