secrets from your job

[jjzelinski]

Originally posted by: erub
Despite public pleas to the contrary, I really don't want you to come visit me during my office hours, I'd much prefer to surf ATOT. In fact, I'm very likely to give you more credit than you are worthy of to avoid myself the hassle of talking to you about your grade. Hope that doesnt catch up with you on the exams, when I won't be grading.

The VSWR of your cell phone antenna is all messed up when you lay it flat on a table, because its tuned to be held vertical (i.e. next to your head) and proping it up vertically might give you a substantial decibel increase in reception.

Are you sure you mean Voltage Standing Wave Ratio? VSWR usually has to do with back power issues do to impedance mismatches, and has nothing to do with the orientation of your antenna to the RF waves its detecting.

 

[James Bond]

I used to work at a credit card processing gateway. This particular company has over 150,000 merchants. A couple of the people on this very thread worked for companies who's transactions were handled by us.

I could order something online from any of these merchants, then void the transfer after they shipped and never pay--and nobody would ever, ever know.

 

[DivideBYZero]

You'd love some of the ones I have, but I love my GF and she has NDA's all over.

My business has little, but if I take a crap while you are paying for my time, it will cost you around $50(crap time ~10 minutes).

 

[gwrober]

Originally posted by: dquan97
If you're going to evade paying child support, try to stay out of the limelight or have any assets under your name or SSN. Also get a cash-paying job or start a business.

 

[amddude]

I work for a company that makes medical billing software. Our clients include a massive outsourced billing company all across the midwest, northeast and southeast. Most all of our systems have the same root password and support account password. The best part? Our entire client database, complete with contact info, modem numbers, logins, everything, is in a msdb file on our server. It's not protected in any way. It would give you access with a modem to millions and millions, literally, of SSN's, address's, phone numbers. You could create TRUCKLOADS of false id's. I brought it up to management, but they aren't moving to fix it. Scary. We're one disgruntled and intelligent employee away from one of the largest privacy breaches ever.

 

[nageov3t]

before my office building was gutted and turned into a 15-story noc, it used to be a pretty big department store.

as a result, we have 18 elevators in the lobby, not counting the two freight elevators. only three of the elevators actually work, though. the rest were shutdown and the elevator shafts used for running massive amounts of cable between the floors. but it's funny to see people unfamiliar with the building standing around in the lobby getting pissed off over the fact that it takes so long to get an elevator sometimes

 

[Mo0o]

The academically prefered way to kill and adult mice is to knock it out with CO2 then proceed with cervical dislocation by pulling on the head and the tail.

baby mice under 2 weeks old? Decapitation

 

[morgash]

Just a couple, but #1 is REALLY useful.

1. if you have insane late fees, or any late fees at all really on some movies at Movie Gallery/Hollywood then just take it to another location. The copies will be found to be for another location by the employees there, carted to the correct place by the manager, and the marked FOS (Found on Shelf) which clears all late fees associated with those movies. I've done this several times (even wiped a 100 dollar late fee lol), just don't overdue it because eventually someone might care.

2. If its past 11pm and your movies are going to be late, drop em in the night drop off. All Movie Galleries are required to check the drop box and check in all movies before the employees can leave, so your grace time is usually between 11 and 11:30 p.m.

3. Playguard is the single most profitable venture Movie Gallery has ever embarked upon. All employees MUST ask you for it and they could possibly be fired if they haven't sold enough Playguard at the end of each month.

4. If you ever get the chance to hang around Petco after close, take it. The show starts in the aquatics department shortly after the last customer leaves. It involves a battle between however many feeder fish the employees feel like and the baddest predators currently in stock. We once had a great match up between 10 goldfish, one Voltians Lionfish, a niger trigger, and a Green Wolf Eel. The trigger won.

5. Generally the head guy of the aquatics section at major pet stores is the only one who actually knows what he is doing. In the interview we simply asked if they ever had a fish before, if the answer was yes then they were hired. Please research before you buy and don't listen to these people.

6. Most importantly. Please have the utmost respect for the guys that build pools. As punishment for some not so hot grades about 4 years ago (my 11th grade summer) my dad had me work at one of his friends pool company. The shotcrete crew is one of the hardest and longest jobs I have ever had. 100 degree heat, 100% humidity in Southern Alabama, digging concrete up and smoothing it down all f-ing day. We once worked from 4 a.m. in the morning, until the last concrete truck rolled out at 9 p.m.

morgash

 

[PrelateBishop]

Incentive NOT to get arrested (as if you should need one):

The rear seats (caged area) of a patrol car are the most unsanitary, disgusting places you can possibly imagine. These seats are routinely covered in sh1t, piss, vomit, spit, and blood. At best these seats get a cursory cleaning. I've seen HIV/Hepatitis suspects cover seats with multiple bodily fluids, so stay the hell away.

 

[canadageek]

if you have your car washed, small change will be taken

"pc cleanups" are superbly profitable, as they only take 15 minutes of actual work, but will be billed for an hour.

the ingredients in your pizza may or may not be fresh. usually, they will be sitting out all night, refigerated, ad then used again (unless it smells bad)

i don't really have anything shocking

 

[Oceandevi]

Your front yard has been mangled. You call the company to complain, our thoughts below.

Welcome to Fios B1tch.

And I think he means mowing in a square pattern, as you take off distance from all 4 sides. It only seems faster, the gas fumes are the reason you lose track of time.

 

[nboy22]

I worked at a high class restaurant and I can't say any of the above things that were mentioned happened there. Everything was sanitary for the most part and if food was dropped on the floor, it was not served. The only part that could have been better was that under the lines and the oven/deep fryer was pretty gross from oil buildup.

I worked for the city one time, mowing/trimming lawns, it was hard work. My friend had it easy, he would drive around in the truck, clean up some playgrounds and proceed to head over to his friends house to smoke a few bowls of weed for the rest of his shift.

 

[randay]

Soylent green is really made out of PEOPLE!

 

[SSSnail]

We sell stuffs, THEN develop it.

 

[OutHouse]

Originally posted by: judasmachine

Originally posted by: Ameesh

Originally posted by: judasmachine
We are allowed to haggle. It seems NO ONE knows this, and we always start high.

where do you work?

I am night managing a Days Inn. My day job isn't going too well.

no sh|t?? i never knew this.

 

[OutHouse]

Originally posted by: badmouse

Originally posted by: alien42
almost all movie theatre managers and many employees steal money as it is very easy to do.

And traditionally, the last show on Friday nite belongs to the staff. The owners let them steal that one so that the owners will get to keep some of the money from the rest of the week.

Many, many companies will not hire someone who has ever worked in a movie theater, because of the (correct) assumption that movie theater employees steal.

Bonus silly secrets:

If someone complains to the projectionist that the film is out of focus, the projectionist will play with the lens, throw it way out of focus, and then bring it back to exactly the same place it was before (it's marked). That will make people think that the focus has been improved, but it hasn't.

Movie previews (trailers) are often printed on different stock than the feature, and the different thickness has a different focus point. Therefore, in a multiplex cinema, the trailers are out of focus, but the feature is fine. With automation, there is no one to hang around and refocus on the film, so the trailers will look like crapola. People complain, the feature starts, people assume that their complaining was what fixed things. People are wrong.

There are very few movie theaters that have an accurate "wide screen" ratio. You want real wide screen, watch it on the DVD.

now thats interesting, thanks!!

 

[potato28]

He he he.... I know how easy it is to get free stuff from a school... Free fries, free calculators(depending on the person). Free glasses from bars and restaurants, free pizza, the list goes on for me

 

[OutHouse]

Originally posted by: Tizyler
I used to work at a credit card processing gateway. This particular company has over 150,000 merchants. A couple of the people on this very thread worked for companies who's transactions were handled by us.

I could order something online from any of these merchants, then void the transfer after they shipped and never pay--and nobody would ever, ever know.

Rossman better be scared.

 

[bobsmith1492]

Airplane parts break all the time. They're crappy, really, although each one IS fully tested...

Also we rip the military off a ton on parts (from my point of view).

99% of engineers working with aerospace parts have NO FREAKIN' IDEA what they're doing.

I'll still fly, though.

 

[gamepad]

as lifeguards, on cloudy days when it's supposed to rain, we blow the whistle and say we heard thunder when really there wasn't.

 

[Slew Foot]

When you're asleep during surgery, the surgeons and nurses will make fun of any bodily defects you may have.

 

[OS]

Originally posted by: DeathBUA
You know how shows like House, Grey's Anatomy, ER, Scrubs etc like to show how things get screwed up in hospitals? How new interns are flaming retards at times?

Yea, that DOES happen. Worst months to be hospitalized are generally July, August and December. Those are when the fresh out of Med School, brand new interns start rounding. Hospital mortality rates at teaching hospitals usually go up a few ticks during those months.

Example...and this is a kinda mild one. Patient of mine needed 6 units of regular insulin as her blood glucose('blood sugar') was 280mg/dL. My hospital has completely electronic medical records, ordering, charting everything. We page the intern on call. He says ok give me a few minutes. He calls back in 10 minutes and tells the nurse, I cant figure out how to put in a medication order so I'm going to verbally tell you to give 6 units of insulin. Then proceeds to tell her it's perfectly fine.

So then the nurse had to explain over the phone how to put an order in for insulin even though they give the interns cheat sheet books. He said he 'accidently' threw that away cuz he figured he knew enough.

That kinda stuff is scary as hell to me.

FYI- I work in a major teaching hospital. July and August are months I'd just like to take off, cuz you practically spend more time babysitting the new interns then taking care of patients at times

that reminds me, my friend, he is a pharmacist, once at a big hospital. He had a story how they had a patient on some drug, and the nurse is supposed to regularly write and get a prescription. Except this time, the nurse wrote it late and thus my friend the pharm got it late. He saw on the schedule it was actually like 2 hours late and so he had to hurry up and prepare it, and he tried to run it down to the room the patient was in, but by the time he got there, there were a bunch of docs there. The patient didn't make it, and at first the nurse tried to blame my friend, but fortunately for him, everything is time stamped, showing that he just got the prescription.

 

[palindrome]

The security devices at Staples, Office Depot, Office Max, etc (aka "Spider Wraps") on most items can easily be slipped off because most employees cannot put them on properly. Or you can just crush the packaging to give yourself plenty of slack to take it off. Also, if you want to steal something from a store like this, try buying printer ink, or something that has a security device in it, then you can stash whatever you want somewhere on your body and the employees wont care at all. Best thing to do is be on your cell phone, lol. But you didn't hear this from me you criminals you....

 

[KK]

Originally posted by: Xkaliber
In a restaurant where I used to work, expensive steaks were not cooked on the grill but thrown in the deep fryer.

hmm, deep fried steaks, sounds good to me.

 

[HeXploiT]

Centrifugal force does not exist. It is manmade. Centripetal force does. I'd tell you where i work but i think i've been flashy thingied.