secrets from your job

[maximus maximus]

Originally posted by: Ausm
If I take a fifteen minute shag every workday that adds up to two weeks paid vacation


Ausm

corrected.

 

[49erinnc]

No longer in the business but from my days in extermination/pest control/loan inspections:

1. If you are having ANY type of indoor treatment (roaches, fleas, etc.) do not leave any prescriptions in the medicine cabinet or any other valuables out. Most exterminators will request you evacuate the home while it's being treated and then they have easy access to anything you own. Many go straight for the pain killers because more often than not, pinching a few won't ever be noticed or proven.

2. NEVER settle for one inspection. Though the company I worked for was 100% honest, our chain competitors were very, very shady. I cannot count how many times a little old lady on fixed income was told she had active termites and needed $2,000 worth of work done. We'd go out for the 2nd opinion and 9 times out of 10, find that the termite tunnels were 20 years old with nothing active. But obviously, the little old lady can't crawl under her house to realize this.

3. You're gonna get watered-down chemicals. While still more effective than what you can buy without a license, exterminators are gonna cut costs where they can. Diluting product is a great way to do so. And be sure to check the company's policies on return visits. Many will only do one free return and will often spot-spray so that a 3rd trip out is necessary to get rid of the problem, as well as charging you again. And it's never their fault. You just happen to have the worse roach/flea problem they've ever seen in all of their years in pest control. So you're told...

4. If possible, get an early morning appointment if you're getting a yard spray done for general pests. Some exterminators will fill up their tanks at your expense if they are running low when they get to your house. Most don't have time to head back to the office to do it there. Those truck-mounted tanks can hold a lot of water and it's coming out of your pocket if they use your water supply. If this happens to you, at least ask them for a small discount on the bill since they're using your water to get through the next few service calls.

5. Good and honest exterminators stay dirty. If a guy shows up at your house in fresh/clean clothes and no signs of sweat or dirt on him, call someone else unless it's his first service call or he only does interior pest control. You can't check for/treat termite problems and not get filthy. I've been under houses so low to the ground that I had to use my finger tips to pull my body forward through mud, rodent remains, trash, boards, nails, etc.

 

[marulee]

Originally posted by: George P Burdell
"He that would keep a secret must keep it secret that he hath a secret to keep."

Nice qoute!

 

[Kur]

Just a few things ive seen my co-workers do in the 1 hour lab

- If you yell, argue, or piss us off, you might find some of those "Private" photos public.
- If you give us a bad attitude you might find your negatives have been cut wrong.
- If you don't like the quality great, we will HAPPILY re-do them for you free of charge, just don't give us lip about it, or we might charge you more then before.
- If you see we are busy and expect photos to be done in less then an hour, come back 30 minutes and complain, yours will be pushed back even farther then before.

Just some advice, if you want your photos done right, with great quality, and negatives cut right, say please and thank you, and thank us for the quality prints we did. You would be very surprised how much more effort we will put into your photos and possibly discounts we might give you for that.

secrets:
- Digital prints do not print out a receipt, so you could print out 200 and say you printed 100 and we wouldn't have anything to say unless we counted em (Which we usually don't do ever). Just don't push you luck with printing 500 and saying 100 we not that big of idiots.
- You know that beeping thing at the front door, you could steal anything in the store and keep walking, we cannot by our contract chase you. All we can do is observe and call the cops.
- The more you yell at the pharmacists the more they lie to you about your prescription "we won't have x medicine till next week"
- A lot of the AWESOME SUPER OMFG SALES in the front of the store are items that are almost outdated or are.

CVS ftw

 

[KillyKillall]

I nominate this thread for Best of ATOT.

 

[Al Neri]

Originally posted by: KillyKillall
I nominate this thread for Best of ATOT.

second

 

[dirtylimey]

If you ever get wind of an OS migration ocurring after hours in your company, lock up ALL candy/snacks and your favourite pens. I guarantee they will dissapear otherwise.

That and storing your holiday snaps and personal pictures in your 'My Pictures' folder is actually an invitation for them to be looked at.

IT guys will work faster and with more care if offered treats.

 

[maximus maximus]

Originally posted by: Don Rodriguez

Originally posted by: KillyKillall
I nominate this thread for Best of ATOT.

second

i found this thread quite interesting.
some good information that i never knew about.

 

[Icepick]

Originally posted by: Don Rodriguez

Originally posted by: KillyKillall
I nominate this thread for Best of ATOT.

second

Thirded. And bump for more secrets.

 

[RKS]

When you call in for help we can 'see' your screen and look at your search history and related search logic.

Even though we can't tell you that you are spelling a common word incorrectly and therefore getting skewed results; we can email a search string so you only have to cut and paste (if you are nice).

 

[OS]

if you are a federal/goverment employee and a former president dies, everyone gets a day off.

 

[SoundTheSurrender]

My friend at a certain store works in the meat department. If the customer is a big time asshole they will do bad stuff to your meat. If you're nice, they will treat my meat with care.

 

[BigJ]

-The employees will hide seasonal products in the overhead until they go on sale (after the season) to get massive discounts on the items.
-Our computers are rarely correct when it says we have inventory. Unless stock reads a dozen plus, we probably don't have the item.
-If wire is cut to length, customers have changed the hand-written tags to save substantial amounts of money. It's funny how $1.50/ft turns into $0.50/ft and cashiers don't bother to call for a price check.
-The reason why nobody on the floor has a forklift license is because it's the easiest way for people to lose their jobs if anything happens. You also become the store's bitch. Merchandise damage over a certain percent requires an automatic drug test or instant dismissal.

 

[Quasmo]

Originally posted by: palindrome
The security devices at Staples, Office Depot, Office Max, etc (aka "Spider Wraps") on most items can easily be slipped off because most employees cannot put them on properly. Or you can just crush the packaging to give yourself plenty of slack to take it off. Also, if you want to steal something from a store like this, try buying printer ink, or something that has a security device in it, then you can stash whatever you want somewhere on your body and the employees wont care at all. Best thing to do is be on your cell phone, lol. But you didn't hear this from me you criminals you....

Actually, spider wraps can be taken off even if they are put on properly. I learned to take them off under 30 seconds even if they were digging into the cardboard of the item. It's simply a flawed design. Apparently some guys who work for the security company that makes the wraps came in, and I showed them how flawed the design was, they thought it was funny.

 

[kedlav]

From my experience as an operator:

-Most outages are caused by user error. Those that are not are generally caused by stupidity exhibited by engineer-types who like to drop notebooks on laptops that are hooked up to major distribution switches(happened right before turnover, not in the middle of my shift thankfully).
-Customers call client services, 'cause if you get me, its time to get transferred
-Second tier support guys know less than operators, they just get paid more
-Doing operations for a multinational firm sucks, as its a real pain to understand the English of a guy from Bangalore and Amsterdam when they're on the same line.
-You can run as many monitoring/keyloggers/etc., yet don't be surprised when your idiot engineer(s) downloads aim and clicks a link that brings a virus in that hits almost all systems globally within 15 minutes...
-Whatever spamblocker you buy won't work too well, as some idiot employee will leave email addresses out in cyberspace
-Idiots will find ways around your protections to run exe's... and then claim they didn't know computers enough to know it might be infected

 

[tasmanian]

If you wrap RFID tags with foil. they dont set off the detectors.

 

[GiLtY]

Originally posted by: Eeezee
- We laugh at stupid written responses. We laugh heartily. Sometimes we laugh nonstop for 5+ minutes from just one response. We appreciate your bizarre responses

Haha that's hilarious. I know a professor who would grade finals with his graduate students, and they would post up funny (and often incorrect) responses on a board, and at the end vote which one was the funniest.

--GiLtY

 

[Scouzer]

Air Traffic Controllers are people.

We fvck up...you die.

We get a few days off to grieve, then we are back to work.

 

[sdifox]

Not sure this is a secret.

Budget decisions in government are based on "Best Bang for the Political Buck" as opposed to "Best Bang for the Buck" Generally speaking, an amount is set before the policy is developed. The amount is the target, not the policy. And the ones coming up with policy don't have to worry about implementation at all. So we end up with great sounding policies that don't do much but cost a lot to do because the policy makers don't understand operations.

Most public servants try to do their best. Sadly their bosses always fvck it up. And it is never the boss that gets blamed.

 

[BZeto]

Instructors at technical colleges are very low-paid with little to no actual field experience.

 

[GeekDrew]

Originally posted by: sdifox
Not sure this is a secret.

Budget decisions in government are based on "Best Bang for the Political Buck" as opposed to "Best Bang for the Buck" Generally speaking, an amount is set before the policy is developed. The amount is the target, not the policy. And the ones coming up with policy don't have to worry about implementation at all. So we end up with great sounding policies that don't do much but cost a lot to do because the policy makers don't understand operations.

Most public servants try to do their best. Sadly their bosses always fvck it up. And it is never the boss that gets blamed.

That's hardly a secret, but it bears repeating, since most people don't have any concept of the scope of these "issues".

 

[TraumaRN]

More secrets from healthcare/hospital

-Doctors can and do cry from time to time. They are human too.

-The treatment for gonorrhea/chlamydia is painful to begin with at least when treated in an ER. If you happen to have one of these two STDs and treat the nurses/doctors like sh!t the treatment will be more painful. One of the medications you get is an intramuscular injection called ceftriaxone. It's extremely painful so we normally dilute the medication with lidocaine to numb the muscle. Well when you treat us like crap, we suddenly 'can't find' any lidocaine and inject you undiluted.

-It pretty much follows that if you treat your nurses and doctors like crap, we'll talk smack about you, be slower with any and all treatments and do our best to avoid you. We have many other patients to deal with, usually far sicker, and dont need your crap on top of it. We're not robots, we're human, we try our best.

-If you come in to an ER with plain old nausea, vomiting and diarrhea with no other complicating factors a good ER will have you out in about 3 hours, 4 maximum. Why? Because you need an IV, some basic lab work(which with a good lab takes about 20 minutes to get results) and something to calm your stomach/stop the vomiting, then bolus you with a couple liters of fluid and you are good to go.

-Finally, for the love of all things holy, if you have a primary care physician and arent feeling well CALL THEM FIRST!!!! Dont come to the damn ER unless they tell you too and only AFTER you called them.

More to come later if people want.

 

[ultimatebob]

Originally posted by: DeathBUA
More secrets from healthcare/hospital

-Doctors can and do cry from time to time. They are human too.

-The treatment for gonorrhea/chlamydia is painful to begin with at least when treated in an ER. If you happen to have one of these two STDs and treat the nurses/doctors like sh!t the treatment will be more painful. One of the medications you get is an intramuscular injection called ceftriaxone. It's extremely painful so we normally dilute the medication with lidocaine to numb the muscle. Well when you treat us like crap, we suddenly 'can't find' any lidocaine and inject you undiluted.

-It pretty much follows that if you treat your nurses and doctors like crap, we'll talk smack about you, be slower with any and all treatments and do our best to avoid you. We have many other patients to deal with, usually far sicker, and dont need your crap on top of it. We're not robots, we're human, we try our best.

-If you come in to an ER with plain old nausea, vomiting and diarrhea with no other complicating factors a good ER will have you out in about 3 hours, 4 maximum. Why? Because you need an IV, some basic lab work(which with a good lab takes about 20 minutes to get results) and something to calm your stomach/stop the vomiting, then bolus you with a couple liters of fluid and you are good to go.

-Finally, for the love of all things holy, if you have a primary care physician and arent feeling well CALL THEM FIRST!!!! Dont come to the damn ER unless they tell you too and only AFTER you called them.

More to come later if people want.

OK, I got one... When people get stuff stuck up their rectum, do you guys keep copies of the X-Ray's? If so, do you keep the best ones and share them with friends after work?

 

[mordantmonkey]

our old system couldn't handle the amount of money exchanged on a daily basis. it would cut off the number of billions. Someone in Fund Mgmt could have embezzeled a billion dollars and we wouldn't now when we balanced with the fed at the end of day.

i was amazed we kept that system for so long. da moot secret though since that was the old system.

 

[mwmorph]

At the old dealership I worked at, when you paid for matainence with the BG packages, most techs would do the transmission flush or oil change for example but not put in the BG cleaning or matainence products. You still got the oil and transmission fluid you paid for the the BG Transmission Clean or BG MOA products you though you were paying for instead get dumped out in the waste fluid bins. The sad thing is that the BG stuff is relatively expensive so you do pay for it as the end consumer without reaping the rewards.

I never knew why people didnt do it but when I worked there shortly, i'd just do it anyway. It took all of 30seconds to dump that stuff in and I'm not the type of person comfortable throwing anything away(seriously, I stil have 286s in a storage shed).