secrets from your job

[TraumaRN]

Originally posted by: ultimatebob

Originally posted by: DeathBUA
More secrets from healthcare/hospital

-Doctors can and do cry from time to time. They are human too.

-The treatment for gonorrhea/chlamydia is painful to begin with at least when treated in an ER. If you happen to have one of these two STDs and treat the nurses/doctors like sh!t the treatment will be more painful. One of the medications you get is an intramuscular injection called ceftriaxone. It's extremely painful so we normally dilute the medication with lidocaine to numb the muscle. Well when you treat us like crap, we suddenly 'can't find' any lidocaine and inject you undiluted.

-It pretty much follows that if you treat your nurses and doctors like crap, we'll talk smack about you, be slower with any and all treatments and do our best to avoid you. We have many other patients to deal with, usually far sicker, and dont need your crap on top of it. We're not robots, we're human, we try our best.

-If you come in to an ER with plain old nausea, vomiting and diarrhea with no other complicating factors a good ER will have you out in about 3 hours, 4 maximum. Why? Because you need an IV, some basic lab work(which with a good lab takes about 20 minutes to get results) and something to calm your stomach/stop the vomiting, then bolus you with a couple liters of fluid and you are good to go.

-Finally, for the love of all things holy, if you have a primary care physician and arent feeling well CALL THEM FIRST!!!! Dont come to the damn ER unless they tell you too and only AFTER you called them.

More to come later if people want.

OK, I got one... When people get stuff stuck up their rectum, do you guys keep copies of the X-Ray's? If so, do you keep the best ones and share them with friends after work?

Ehhh my hospital is totally paperless so all the x-rays are on computer now accessible to anyone with internet access and access to our Citrix remote desktop. Tho when we do have a patient with something interesting we do call other people round to look(as in bullets, keys, coins etc)

 

[ZowieHowie]

Originally posted by: Uppsala9496
I work in insurance.
Only the brokers that sell the product need to be licensed. Those of us that underwrite the product (what is sold - rates, terms and conditions, etc.) do not need to be licensed.
About 30% of my brokers do not understand the product they are selling.

I work in insurance too, and I would say that about 90% of our brokers do not understand the product they are selling

 

[Clockwerk]

I use to work for AAA, I was a ERS dispatcher there for little over a year. Anyways, if you call in sounding intoxicated, or if you lead the call taker to believe there MAY be some property damage or vehicle damage, you can bet there will be a trooper on scene before the service vehicle even gets there. Cops love AAA.

Tow drivers who do drugs (crack/alcohol), hardly keep thier jobs and migrate from contractor to contractor, watch them closely when handling your vehicle.

AAA is non-profit, and lobbies heavily

If you call AAA while busted down on a thruway/turnpike a state dispatcher HAS to take the call and dispatch, AAA will just transfer you. Also, having AAA will save you loads and loads of money if you break down on a turnpike/thruway, contractors happily jack their fees on toll roads for suckers and such, having AAA can bypass this.

Getting the call taker to sympathize with your situation can go a long way, but being overly whiney will NOT help. The card carrying member must be with the vehicle in order for AAA to cover you, if you lie, and AAA finds out, they will bill you. To get around this have the actual card carrying member call in for you WITH ALL THE DETAILS, saying they are there, and when the contractor arrives on scene, tell them the member left under an emergency situation. Another option is to call AAA the next day and say a contractor refused to help because you didnt have your card on you, ask for a reimbursment form and they will send it out, they almost always get approved.

Locksmiths prices go up and up and up after certain hours, having AAA can prevent getting overcharged as contractors work for AAA under a flat rate.

If you need your vehicle unlocked in 10 minutes flat in a city/town tell them there is a baby in the vehicle.

Just because the tow truck has AAA sticker on the side of its vehicle doesnt mean your getting AAA service, always ask ..or expect a bill. If a contractor asks you to pay additional fees for a service, call AAA ASAP and ask to speak to a supervisor, youre getting scammed.

 

[Auryg]

Originally posted by: OS
if you are a federal/goverment employee and a former president dies, everyone gets a day off.

Yep, my mom is a postal worker and is getting Tuesday off.

 

[Mill]

Rides at Amusement Parks are nowhere as safe as you'd like.

 

[BigJ]

Originally posted by: DeathBUA

Originally posted by: ultimatebob

Originally posted by: DeathBUA
More secrets from healthcare/hospital

-Doctors can and do cry from time to time. They are human too.

-The treatment for gonorrhea/chlamydia is painful to begin with at least when treated in an ER. If you happen to have one of these two STDs and treat the nurses/doctors like sh!t the treatment will be more painful. One of the medications you get is an intramuscular injection called ceftriaxone. It's extremely painful so we normally dilute the medication with lidocaine to numb the muscle. Well when you treat us like crap, we suddenly 'can't find' any lidocaine and inject you undiluted.

-It pretty much follows that if you treat your nurses and doctors like crap, we'll talk smack about you, be slower with any and all treatments and do our best to avoid you. We have many other patients to deal with, usually far sicker, and dont need your crap on top of it. We're not robots, we're human, we try our best.

-If you come in to an ER with plain old nausea, vomiting and diarrhea with no other complicating factors a good ER will have you out in about 3 hours, 4 maximum. Why? Because you need an IV, some basic lab work(which with a good lab takes about 20 minutes to get results) and something to calm your stomach/stop the vomiting, then bolus you with a couple liters of fluid and you are good to go.

-Finally, for the love of all things holy, if you have a primary care physician and arent feeling well CALL THEM FIRST!!!! Dont come to the damn ER unless they tell you too and only AFTER you called them.

More to come later if people want.

OK, I got one... When people get stuff stuck up their rectum, do you guys keep copies of the X-Ray's? If so, do you keep the best ones and share them with friends after work?

Ehhh my hospital is totally paperless so all the x-rays are on computer now accessible to anyone with internet access and access to our Citrix remote desktop. Tho when we do have a patient with something interesting we do call other people round to look(as in bullets, keys, coins etc)

[Scrubs]

Do you have an Ass-Box?

[/Scrubs]

 

[Genesys]

Originally posted by: Leros
We occasionally assasinate officials from competing governments.

Competing? Does the US have shadow governments? I need to know if i'm in the 'right' USAF!!

 

[sdifox]

Originally posted by: GeekDrew

Originally posted by: sdifox
Not sure this is a secret.

Budget decisions in government are based on "Best Bang for the Political Buck" as opposed to "Best Bang for the Buck" Generally speaking, an amount is set before the policy is developed. The amount is the target, not the policy. And the ones coming up with policy don't have to worry about implementation at all. So we end up with great sounding policies that don't do much but cost a lot to do because the policy makers don't understand operations.

Most public servants try to do their best. Sadly their bosses always fvck it up. And it is never the boss that gets blamed.

That's hardly a secret, but it bears repeating, since most people don't have any concept of the scope of these "issues".

Here is another head scratcher. The public always complain we are not spending enough on (insert cause of the day) but these are the same people who want tax cuts. Humm, reduce government income but boost government spending... sounds like a deficit to me.

And people have no idea how much money is being spent.

 

[Raiden256]

Originally posted by: Quasmo

Originally posted by: palindrome
The security devices at Staples, Office Depot, Office Max, etc (aka "Spider Wraps") on most items can easily be slipped off because most employees cannot put them on properly. Or you can just crush the packaging to give yourself plenty of slack to take it off. Also, if you want to steal something from a store like this, try buying printer ink, or something that has a security device in it, then you can stash whatever you want somewhere on your body and the employees wont care at all. Best thing to do is be on your cell phone, lol. But you didn't hear this from me you criminals you....

Actually, spider wraps can be taken off even if they are put on properly. I learned to take them off under 30 seconds even if they were digging into the cardboard of the item. It's simply a flawed design. Apparently some guys who work for the security company that makes the wraps came in, and I showed them how flawed the design was, they thought it was funny.

Pray do tell!

 

[Thegonagle]

The person who tells you how long your pizza delivery will take actually has no idea. They just pull a number out of thin air, or else they say the same thing to everybody day in and day out. The only reason they quote a time is to make you feel better.

The delivery driver probably has no idea what the order taker said the delivery time would be.

If you ask for a "rush" on your delivery order, and the order taker says "yeah, OK, we'll rush that for you," you still get the same service as everybody else, except you also get laughed at after you hang up the phone.

If the delivery driver asks you for your coupon, you didn't tip well enough.

If you can't produce above mentioned coupon and you get charged regular price, the driver keeps the difference as a tip anyway.

 

[shuttleboi]

We illegally invaded another country looking for WMD that never existed.

 

[mwmorph]

Originally posted by: shuttleboi
We illegally invaded another country looking for WMD that never existed.

Mr. Rumsfeld? Hey we were working on your bulletproof navigator a few weeks ago. Next time dont buy the car with the optional airbag suspension if you plan to overload it with 6000lbs of ballistic steel, bulletproof glass and security equipment.

 

[preslove]

Originally posted by: Thegonagle
The person who tells you how long your pizza delivery will take actually has no idea. They just pull a number out of thin air, or else they say the same thing to everybody day in and day out. The only reason they quote a time is to make you feel better.

I delivered pizza my first summer in college & answered phones when not delivering. Our manager would tell us what to tell the costumers based on the # of orders already being worked on.

 

[2Xtreme21]

Losing and not being able to produce the Active Directory password for your Windows Server will result in an enormous hike in charges and a bunch of really pissed off IT people. That thing is NOT easy to crack and getting it within 10 minutes requires buying a $295 program. Otherwise you're getting billed for every second rainbow takes to crack that thing...

Keep your damned software. Installs sometimes require your Office CD's, Windows CD's, driver CD's, etc. Not much more pisses me off than having to go an hour out of my way to pick up an XP CD for you because you lost it-- or, worse, spending hours searching online for your printer drivers...

Don't trust us when we tell you the ETA of a certain project. We always under exaggerate-- When asked how long it will take to move large amounts of data from server A to server B, saying 30 minutes results in much less anger than saying 4 hours, which it probably will be closer to.

Mounting a few switches is MUCH more cost-effective than paying us to string cables all over your damned office.

I know, nothing too practical for the typical consumer.

 

[Evadman]

Originally posted by: binister
Our root password is 4%67462hf64d

w32MF76c

 

[Thegonagle]

Originally posted by: preslove

Originally posted by: Thegonagle
The person who tells you how long your pizza delivery will take actually has no idea. They just pull a number out of thin air, or else they say the same thing to everybody day in and day out. The only reason they quote a time is to make you feel better.

I delivered pizza my first summer in college & answered phones when not delivering. Our manager would tell us what to tell the costumers based on the # of orders already being worked on.

I'll concede that sometimes it's the shift manager who pulls that number out of thin air.

 

[SampSon]

Realtors are the most useless cog in the machine.
That's really not a secret, but more people should know.

 

[Turnpike]

-The topical gel we use before giving you a shot barely does anything. It needs to sit for at least two minutes to have any effect, and even then it's not great since the needle goes deeper than the area numbed by the gel. We use it to make you feel better.

-The "secret" to painless injections is in the dentist's technique. Insertion of the needle, contrary to popular belief, is not the painful part. Yes you might feel a little pinch, but what hurts is when the anesthetic is injected too quickly. Shots to the palate (roof of the mouth) are usually the most painful of the different sites we normally inject.

-Novacaine hasn't been used for like 15 years now. Lidocaine/Xylocaine is the most commonly used anesthetic now in dentistry.

-Yes we can tell when you don't floss. Your gums should not bleed when we touch, or even poke 'n prod them.

-We don't mind looking into people's mouths all day. It's normal and an everyday thing for us, even if it was 'weird' at first.

-Our profession does not have an unusually high suicide rate. Most of us enjoy it and make a great living doing it.

-During exams, some dentists will knock 10% off their fees if you pay for your future treatment in full upfront. (usually that same day). This usually applies to higher fee procedures such as root canals, crowns/caps, etc. If they don't offer it, ask!

-People come in all different shapes, sizes, colors and everyone has different character flaws. The one that irks the staff and the dentist the most is tardiness. Schedules are often very detailed and time is limited in these practices. Patients showing up late can make for a very stressful day for the practice. You don't want to make your health providers stressed out.

-Many dentists sell high-end power toothbrushes at cost. Great deal for you.

-Almost half of new dentists are female.

-Dental offices typically have an overhead in the range of 55-65%.

-We aren't car mechanics or salesmen. We don't sell products. We are health care providers and treat people, like you.


great thread so far

 

[daveymark]

At any given restaurant, servers will eat/drink anything in the back cooler, because it's behind closed doors. They'll dip their fingers in the soup to grab a meatball, drink directly from the gallon of milk/orange juice/juice/etc, eat whipped cream(or do whippits) directly from the can by wrapping their lips around the dispenser, dig finger in chocolate cake and lick frosting off the finger, then proceed to use the same finger to spread chocolate over the new hole in the cake, grab a hunk of roast beef with their bare hands, reach into the bag of shredded chihuaua cheese with their bare hands, etc.

The back cooler is also one fo the places to smoke weed. they will play games like "what food can we blow smoke into" etc.

They will also grab food off of your plate that you ordered. for instance, if you ordered a shrimp dish, they will snatch a shrimp off the plate before handing it to you. Next time you have your food brought to the tabel, check the server's hands. if they are a closed fist, that means they're concealing, and they're about to enjoy part of your meal after making sure you have everything you need. Ask how many of an item come in the dish beforehand.

IF you complain about how your coffee isn't hot (even though it was just brewed), the server will take a coffee mug, put it in the oven for 5 minutes, and put the spoon in the oven as well. When the server returns with your hotter coffee, The server will watch with glee as you burn your lip or hand when you go to stir sugar/take a sip. Hot enough for you now?

 

[Brainonska511]

Originally posted by: daveymark
IF you complain about how your coffee isn't hot (even though it was just brewed), the server will take a coffee mug, put it in the oven for 5 minutes, and put the spoon in the oven as well. When the server returns with your hotter coffee, The server will watch with glee as you burn your lip or hand when you go to stir sugar/take a sip. Hot enough for you now?

I remember my chem teacher in 10th grade told us some restaurant stories. He used to be a chef and the one that sticks out in my mind:

If you complain that your steak isn't done well enough and the chef hates you for complaining, expect to get a very well-done steak after it gets thrown in the deep fryer.

 

[Evadman]

Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OS's is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders

 

[nageov3t]

we spend the vast majority of our days doing nothing, except the occasional reboot for a down server.

if we take 5 hours to upgrade the ram in your server and tell you it was because of the time it took to find/test the ram, we're lying. we were just too busy reading this thread, fark, wikipedia, collegehumor.com, world of warcraft forums, etc.

 

[junkiefp]

Most no fault auto insurance lawsuits take minimum of 3-4 years. Some take that time just to get an index number from court. Some are lost in the process.

 

[Cobalt]

Best Buy/Circuit City: We will fvck with your minds. Customers feel the wrath of the disgruntled retail employee, especially if you're an idiot.

 

[purepolly]

When choosing your health care proxy, make sure that person is a nurse with actual bedside nursing experience. Comfortable and painfree is the way to go, and a nurse will get you that.