Secrets of "The Trade"

[Tanner]

oops, hit enter too soon - edit coming...

I'm sure in the past youall have probably picked up a "secret" or two doing whatever it is that you do for a living. I guess you could call 'em shortcuts or something like that...but you hopefully get what I'm talkin' about

An example might help. (not that this defines how one would carry out day-to-day operations, but...)

Tech Support-type roles for instance. a couple tricks might be:
[*]Google the error
[*]don't put the case back together until you TEST THE MACHINE
[*] R E B O O T

things like that...anyone?

 

[olds]

Search before posting.
Don't look directly at the Sun.

 

[Koharski]

at least half of the non-boot errors I get are from the computer trying to boot off a stray USB storage device, so check that first

 

[panipoori]

if some pills are dropped on the ground, put them discretely back in the bottle.

/hides

 

[Farang]

Bitch about your pizza delivery order and 9 times out of 10 you'll get a free pizza next time.. unless you do it every time your order, then they'll catch on.

 

[Gibsons]

When purifying RNA, never let a frozen sample thaw out unless it's completely dispersed in guanadinium.

 

[3chordcharlie]

If your truck has the name of your business on it, you can park anywhere, facing any direction.

Edit - except in front of fire hydrants, you still can't park there.

 

[ppdes]

If two of you worked on some bit of code, try to get the other guy to do the commit. When it breaks the integration tests everyone will be on his back instead of yours.

 

[krotchy]

If you want to buy a single box from a high volume company, you have to act like a big shot or somehow important. Having a .gov e-mail address helps

 

[thespeakerbox]

Teach new employees with hand/head gestures. If you never speak to them verbally, they will avoid asking too many questions.

"Waiving finger as in no" I don't want to talk to them, tell them I stepped out.
"Nod the head" - Ok , I'll take the call
"Pretend to vomit and point at another co worker" - give the guy on the phone to someone else.

 

[everman]

Do not look into laser with other eye.

 

[lyssword]

For azteks and chinese put 8 villagers on sheep instead of the usual 7, so that you won't have any hiccups.
If you make 3 towncenters and only one stable you can build a good econ while still be pretty defensive. Oh, and don't forget to upgrade the bloodlines

 

[daveymark]

never do tech suppport

 

[Slew Foot]

Schedule your elective surgery for early in the morning. Everyone (nurses, doctors, OR staff) tends to get more and more pissed off and lazy as the day drags on.

 

[flawlssdistortn]

Originally posted by: lyssword
For azteks and chinese put 8 villagers on sheep instead of the usual 7, so that you won't have any hiccups.
If you make 3 towncenters and only one stable you can build a good econ while still be pretty defensive. Oh, and don't forget to upgrade the bloodlines

Don't go too nuts with the defense - take the fight to your opponent by building a barracks and tower right on his doorstep. Even if it gets destroyed, you'll be able to distract him and kill a few villagers. That keeps the heat off your town letting your economy grow.

 

[BigJ]

Not much to offer except basically 1,000 different ways to steal from retail stores. It's amazing some of the things customers will do and what you see as an employee. Hopefully I get an internship and get out of retail.

 

[NaOH]

It wouldn't be a secret if I told ya

 

[spaceman]

Originally posted by: daveymark
never do tech suppport

 

[HombrePequeno]

From BestBuy I learned that the merchandising department hates people who sh!t in refrigerators. I also learned it's ridiculously easy to steal from there because the security is not allowed to stop anyone.

 

[Fullmetal Chocobo]

Previous job:
Always use flux when soldering. Liquid flux works wonderfully. Silver solder holds better whien soldering sensors onto the V8 engine. Always anchor yourself while soldering on the engine while it's running, because it sucks landing on it wrong when a large wave hits. Anytime anything needs troubleshooting, always investigate for operator error first. Magnesium rounds shot at night from a 5" gun at 15 degree intervals will light up the sky like daytime. Regardless of how good of an idea it seems, red wine to finish a night of drinking is not a good idea. Always tip good right when you get to the bar--it ensures better service the rest of the night on. Don't be a d!ck to someone you are asking something from.

Current job:
Trust no one.

 

[jagec]

Machining stuff correctly takes for-freakingever. So make SURE the design takes all factors into account before you start making parts.

Either build it with adjustments, or overbuild it so that it never ever needs to be adjusted.

If it's built so that it never needs to be adjusted, you're eventually going to have to adjust it, but only after tearing your hair out for weeks trying to pinpoint the problem and adjusting everything else. Then kludging together a solution to try and put adjustments on something that was designed without.

Speaking of adjusting everything else, make sure that everything is working correctly before trying to optimize. If your signal isn't as high as yesterday, it could be that one of the myriad adjustable optics mounts needs to be tweaked. Or it could be that the photomultiplier is turned off. If you started making adjustments based on the first assumption, it's going to be a long day before you get your signal back.

If you kludge together a solution to a problem, and it works, that kludge will still be in place years later. Keep that in mind when you suggest it.

Oh, and it turns out that breaking diamonds isn't nearly as difficult as it should be.

 

[FallenHero]

To make it through your probationary period, SHUT THE FVCK UP!

 

[irishScott]

Serious reply:

If you're doing anything outdoors, need to blow your nose and aren't allergic to grass, grab a handful of grass and mix in some wild green onion leafs.

Instant Klenex that clears the sinuses.

 

[compuwiz1]

Play golf with your enemies....you never know what you'll hear.

 

[dug777]

If someone uses 'she' and claims it's gender neutral, fire them asap.