Serious family problems...Need Ideas

[Powermoloch]

Originally posted by: DaShen
Obviously a lot of ATOTers are Wow Players and don't realize that doing anything for 8-10 hours a day, if it doesn't accomplish certain life goals, if it doesn't allow you to live comfortably (job + money/sleep), and if it doens't involve real world relationships is unproductive at best to having a lifetime membership to loserville at worst.

Ditto "puts on flame suit"

 

[mAdD INDIAN]

Originally posted by: ones3k

Whats the big deal with 40 hours per week? I used to play Everquest 40hrs/week for a period of 2 or 3 months. I also used to play WoW 50-60hrs/week over winter break in 2005 and 2006... I literally played ALL day! I also played quite a bit immediately following the release of WoW (november 23rd, 2004), i was probably doing only 30-40hrs/week then because i also had school at the time, but i played a lot based on your standards. I think you and your parents are acting like pussies, and you need to let your brother do his own thing. Let him learn on his own.

Playing a video game, any game, for 40hrs/week much less 50-60hrs/week is BAD. Playing a game for 6 hours a day is pretty bad and unproductive, and downright unhealthy for you. We, as humans, need a variety of stimulus to make us feel good/healthy. If you play that many hours of video games a day you are limiting the different types of stimulus u get. You won't be outside with friends playing sports/hanging out, u won't have any challenges from work/homework/ etc...

its just bad man...40 horus a week of games...damn.

 

[The Green Bean]

Take him on a vacation

 

[ahurtt]

Originally posted by: The Green Bean
Take him on a vacation

That is a great idea actually. What's the longest he has been without playing WoW in the past. . .I dunno. . . say 6 months? Has he been more than 1 day without playing? A week? Go someplace nice but where he has no computer or WoW access for a week or so family vacation. Maybe the break will snap him out of it without making it seem like a punishment or depriving him of his precious WoW to be mean.

 

[DPmaster]

Originally posted by: thehstrybean
How do people get addicted to this game? It looks so stupid. I have friends that play 24/7, but it's a freakin game...

Well it is known as World of Warcrack for a reason...

 

[iroast]

Backpacking through Europe should take care of his addiction.

 

[foghorn67]

Okay...let me take a stab at this.
I'm 28 now, and I wish I spent less time on the video games at that age. (Starcraft was addictive, LAN parties at the college)
I wish I made myself more productive. I could have hit the books harder to try for a decent scholership. I didn't spend 40hrs a week, but it was a bit too much.
Do the big brother thing w/o confronting him.
I'm sure your family is very loving and caring, but they missed the signs like a lot of parents do, even stuff you missed observing. Generations change, and it's hard for anybody older to relate anymore.
Turn his addiction to something else, entice him. Hobbies are great. How about car tuning or photography? Or maybe web development? Get that spark going.
I'm sure your parents will do everything they can to get him into a decent school. Talk about this. College life is a blast, it's difficult, but it is so damn fun. He needs to start preparing now. How far do you live from home? Maybe he can hang out with you and your friends more. I'm sure he will see it's a better life. Maybe his HS friends suck, and he is ready for older friends. Encourage your parents and sis to talk to him more, even just casual chit chat.
You'd be surprised on how much your dad can relate if they can give each other a fair shot away from distractions, even in the corny movie or sitcom way, and it does happen like that sometimes. The change will be slower, but it does happen.
Big Brother/Father-son outings: Car shows, conventions, art fairs, etc. Just try a medium where your parents can relate. Don't rule out being tough if needed.
my two cents.

 

[bennylong]

what's wrong with playing 40 hours a week anyway? I play 60 hours a week and I don't see the problem

 

[arcenite]

Originally posted by: bennylong
what's wrong with playing 40 hours a week anyway? I play 60 hours a week and I don't see the problem

You play a computer game for 10 hours a day 6 days a week (assuming there is one day you have off) and you don't see the problem... you must still be in highschool

Bill

 

[bennylong]

3 hours Monday to Friday = 15 hours, 24 hours on the Weekend. That's 40 hours total. Still enough time to work 12 hours a day and go out during the weekend.

 

[bennylong]

So it's ok to watch a Baseball game 3 hours a day Monday to Friday and spend 30 hours on the weekend watching Sports? Because that's what a lot of people do

 

[arcenite]

Originally posted by: bennylong
3 hours Monday to Friday = 15 hours, 24 hours on the Weekend. That's 40 hours total. Still enough time to work 12 hours a day and go out during the weekend.

Ok, but you said 60.

 

[Powermoloch]

Originally posted by: foghorn67
Okay...let me take a stab at this.
I'm 28 now, and I wish I spent less time on the video games at that age. (Starcraft was addictive, LAN parties at the college)
I wish I made myself more productive. I could have hit the books harder to try for a decent scholership. I didn't spend 40hrs a week, but it was a bit too much.
Do the big brother thing w/o confronting him.
I'm sure your family is very loving and caring, but they missed the signs like a lot of parents do, even stuff you missed observing. Generations change, and it's hard for anybody older to relate anymore.
Turn his addiction to something else, entice him. Hobbies are great. How about car tuning or photography? Or maybe web development? Get that spark going.
I'm sure your parents will do everything they can to get him into a decent school. Talk about this. College life is a blast, it's difficult, but it is so damn fun. He needs to start preparing now. How far do you live from home? Maybe he can hang out with you and your friends more. I'm sure he will see it's a better life. Maybe his HS friends suck, and he is ready for older friends. Encourage your parents and sis to talk to him more, even just casual chit chat.
You'd be surprised on how much your dad can relate if they can give each other a fair shot away from distractions, even in the corny movie or sitcom way, and it does happen like that sometimes. The change will be slower, but it does happen.
Big Brother/Father-son outings: Car shows, conventions, art fairs, etc. Just try a medium where your parents can relate. Don't rule out being tough if needed.
my two cents.

paragraphs are your friend.

 

[RagingBITCH]

What the hell is wrong with parents nowadays? Are they so weak that they've forgotten how to discipline and get their kids to show respect? Throw him out of their house, throw him in an asylum, or something.

If I showed that kind of disrespect towards my dad (former Army) he'd slit my wrists for me and throw my ass out on the street. I swear to god it's just another example of the pussification of America.

My advice to you - take your brother outside, and beat his ass. Knock some sense into him, literally. Yell, get on his ass, do everything your parents are afraid to do because of his threats to commit suicide.

 

[Suture]

It's gonna take a lot longer than a one week vacation to break his habit.

I got mildly addicted to UO back in '99, and the only reason I quit was because my entire guild quit in 2 days. I was 22 or so at the time and acted like a raging d***head in the game; I was rather disliked on the server so without anyone to watch my back for all the ganking, stealing, and harassing I did... lol no point in staying.

I vowed I'd never play another MMORPG again only to get addicted to DAoC's RvR system a few years later. I quit a few months ago, but cannot believe how much time I put into that game. It's insane. I'll admit, I had some good times, but holy crap. There's a command in the game (/PLAY) where it will tell you how much time (in real time) you have spent on that character. Let's just say I could have learned a few foreign languages.

I quit DAoC for a few reasons, but the main reason was the same as UO -- my friends were slowly leaving the game. Losing interest. It took a while. I'm glad, though. I'm much more active again.

I wouldn't say I was "totally addicted" per se, however over the four or so years I played DAoC, I did sure could have been more productive with my time. I still went out on weeknights and weekdays with friends and family, but I know I spent too much time on that game.

The biggest problems with games like these is that you HAVE to put tons of time into them to make your character viable, to be able to compete. It's all about the competition. You want to have that last item to complete your character's goals and have that edge on the others.

Good luck with your brother. Being that he mentioned suicide... don't take it lightly in this day. If you need some advice or insight off the forums, feel free to PM me.

Edit: Your parents really should really put their foot/feet down on this. However, he'll probably ignore them and get angry. You or his friends will have the most impact on getting him to listen IMO.

 

[Mermaidman]

What would happen if your parents cancelled the high-speed internet service? Either have no internet at all, or some crappy dial-up?

My reservations about impeding your brother's access to WoW is
1) He'll commit fraud to have access, or
2) He'll spend time at other places where he can access WoW.

 

[Powermoloch]

Originally posted by: Mermaidman
What would happen if your parents cancelled the high-speed internet service? Either have no internet at all, or some crappy dial-up?

My reservations about impeding your brother's access to WoW is
1) He'll commit fraud to have access, or
2) He'll spend time at other places where he can access WoW.

I'm sure he'll (the OP) figure out a plan B to thwart possible actions.

 

[shadow9d9]

Originally posted by: Eeezee
WHOA whoa whoa, I think there's a lot of overreacting going on. When I was in high school, I did pretty much the same thing, exactly when there were only 3 big MMOs (Everquest, Ultima Online, and Asheron's Call - I chose the third). My parents did the same thing, were worried that I spent too much time on the computer, etc. You want to know something though? Despite my hardcore addiction (easily 50-60 hours a week), I was still a straight A student, starred in several plays, and obtained a full-ride to an in-state university. Eventually I kicked the habit on my own because I no longer felt like paying a monthly fee for games (in actuality my parents paid for it each month, so I sold my character and gave them the profit, which came out to them earning about $20).

The difference was my parents never threatened to send me to a counselor. That's essentially the same as saying you need to see a psychiatrist, which I'd consider an attack against my mental health if I were a teenager. Considering the addiction, it's not such a surprise that your brother threatened suicide. However, realize that these types of addictions **usually** pass depending on how intelligent the user is.

Is your brother a good student? Has he been falling behind in his grades? He's 17, is he prepared for college? You need to find out a lot more information before you can decide if drastic measures need to be taken. Doing pretty much anything is seen by him as an attack against his privacy and an attempt at just making him miserable.

Forty hours a week really isn't much, he's an unemployed high school student. If all he wants to do is play WoW and it doesn't effect his health or his studies, then I don't see the harm. If he starts staying up all night playing the game or skipping meals, skipping homework, skipping responsibilities, etc., then I'd suggest cutting him off because he can't manage his addiction.

Seriously, chances are he'll get bored with the game after awhile. I'm afraid interfering and alienating him with disciplinary action for doing nothing more than playing a game may turn him into another case of a kid walking into a cyber cafe and playing until he drops dead.

I played AC pretty much nonstop.. more than 40 hours a week... I even used it as my summer job in highschool... made over $1k just playing games that summer : )... Made over $2500 total from that game.. tons of fun.

Buy a second computer... nothing wrong with playing games that much at his age.. I work at home now and I still play games a ton.. and I'm married... No probs of any kind.

 

[OutHouse]

who ever is paying for his wow account needs to cancel it asap. If your brother is playing it then hire a consultant and get your families PC locked down so he cant do anything but run calc.

 

[Tom]

Originally posted by: bennylong
So it's ok to watch a Baseball game 3 hours a day Monday to Friday and spend 30 hours on the weekend watching Sports? Because that's what a lot of people do

No, it isn't ok to watch tv that much either.

The only things that are ok to do 40 hours a week are reading or sex.

 

[darianandre]

Wow, it seems like a lot of people have varying ideas on how to go about this. I definitely agree that the parents should have a little more responsibility in dealing with this and I don't think completely cutting him off is a good idea anymore. We will be going on a vacation pretty soon and I think that it would be a good idea to get him into other things. He'll be working this summer so hopefully he'll make some new friends and have something to do.

He doesn't want to play football(6'4", 250lbs), however, because he spends so much time doing homework being in AP and IB. All of his time is either spent on the computer or doing homework. He doesn't lead a normal life and he doesn't have as many friends as he used to. I'm mostly afraid that he's being molded into someone who will find this forum one day and become a lifer within a month arguing in P&N and Video and OT.

He's 17 and he's never had a girlfriend, never so much as hinted that he was attracted to anyone, and he doesn't go to homecomings or any of those things. He certainly seems depressed.

I'm going home pretty soon and I'm going to talk with my parents about some plans of action. He's going to be a senior in a few months and now is not a good time to be going on that downward spiral that is oh so familiar. He is probably the smartest person in the family and his future is on the line right now. I think my parents gave up when they were having problems with me and now they're worn out and they just don't know what to do. I'm going to have to try to show them how to be the great parents that they used to be. Wish me luck!

 

[secretanchitman]

back in my early teens and preteens (im 17), i used to be obsessed with video games. i'd always try to play them whenever i can when my parents were gone, or i'd just say im "studying at a friends house" when we were really just playing his video games. i got my ps2 3-4 years ago shortly after i moved from oklahoma to illinois. just last year, it got stolen (long story) and i was so pissed off because i had really wanted to play some console games because my computer had a hopeless video card in it (geforce2) and there was no possible way of any current-gen gaming. i begged and begged my parents for letting me buy a new ps2, but they never let me. eventually, i ended up borrowing a friends for 2-3 weeks (for kingdom hearts 2, haha) and i gave it back. i dont miss it as much and now i really dont play games as i used to. if i play any games, i do it over the weekend (friday-saturday) and only if i have nothing to do or im bored of studying/homework.

since its now summer and i dont have anything to do really until 2-3 weeks, im enjoying all the games i can!

i would cut off his WoW subscription...and maybe just even break his cds or even completely remove the cd-rom drive (but thats pushing it because your family is in the education department so im guessing they use computers a lot). you all as a family should sit down and have a talk with him. but dont think that this will go on all his life, all mmorpgs die eventually.

i hope you work things out with your bro and your whole family! good luck!!!

 

[MustangSVT]

join wow and pvp his character and kill him all the time.

 

[MusickMaker]

I'm 18 too, so dont take my advice too seriously, but if i might take a stab at this :

Playing a game for 40 hours a week is f!cking whack. First, try talking to him softly and see if that works. What does he like to do other than play games? Play basketball? Then take him to a basketball court and play with him or take him out to a game. He'll then realise how good it is to NOT play wow and do something else.

If he really likes playing only video games and has nothing else that he does, try cancelling broadband access. How does he pay for his wow subscription? If he works and pays it off, thats cool. Still, try to put enormous financial burden on him so that he can see what it means to pay for all this crab sh!t. For example, if he works, tell him to pay for Wow AND internet access AND for his computer (somone must have bought it).

If that doesnt work, try distracting him from WoW. Notice the time he's going on guild raids (or whatever they call those things where you sign in regularly and play). Right during that time, order a FRIGGIN HUGE pizza and rent some REALLY good movies and eat the pizza and watch the movie with your family (assuming your bro doesnt join you). Make the place really comfortable, that is, dim lights, pump up the volume, and make it a really good experience thats not to be missed. Your brother will be really tempted at this. Two choices for him : play a sucky ass video game, or watch a really good movie with tasty food. If i were him, i'd take the second option.

If that fails too, without his knowledge, swap his computer's graphics card with a crappy ass one. Make his gaming experience a really sucky one - without his knowledge that you're doing all this. Because if he knows, then he'll take you for his enemy. That'll seriously suck as godknowswhat he'll do next. So, do all the tricky work behind his back. I know this sounds like i'm an a**hole, but YOU are trying to help HIm for HIS own good. You're not gaining anything by his not playing wow. Make him understand that too.

If all else fails, just let him play his stupid game. There's nothing else you could do. You tried your best and it didnt work. If he flunks out of high school, let him. Hes going to go thru summer school, which will tear him apart. Sooner or later, he'll realise that this game has brought his life to a record-low.

Whatever you do, dont take extreme steps such as break the computer into pieces in front of him, or kick him out of the house, or send him to a stupid counselling camp or something.


If it helps you feel better, a friend of mine is a Wow addict as well. He plays WoW a lot, dont know how much hours per week though. He even cut school days to play WoW. Now he works in kroger and pays for his own subscription. He tried talking me into playing Wow, but i said no way in hell am i paying subscription money for a fcuking game.

 

[Babbles]

I started to play EverQuest in 1999 and played that up until WoW came out then I played that up until a month ago. However I never considered myself addicted and would play something like 3 hours four times during the week and then maybe 6 hours on Sunday evening.

As somebody else mentioned, I would not go and sabotage is computer, it would be akin to screwing up a gearhead's car. Also it would really create a sense of animosity, and finally like it or not WoW is a social game and the people he plays with he really would consider his friends. As such to instantly remove him from that network of friends - regardless of how virtual they may be - would do nothing more than make him pissed off and angry. Additionally with his state of mind, he very well could attempt suicide, it is not entirely unheard of for computer addicts to kill themselves. It is a very real threat and the last thing you want to do is push him over.

I think the best solution is just to go out of the house with him. The big thing would be to demonstrate the fun things he can do outside of playing on the computer. He is substituting "real life" with WoW and the solution would be to re-introduce him to real life.