[Serious] How is the retired life?

[Zeze]

I'm genuinely curious as a late 30s dad of two toddlers. My work is not even particularly challenging yet I'm just exhausted.

I have another 30 years to go before retirement yet I already dream about it. I dream about the day I raised my kids properly finally and they can go fack off on their own & I retired so people can leave me the hell alone. I don't have to answer to no one. The first thing I'd do is roll around the living room crying hysterically out of sheer joy.

I've worked. I finished being a dad for the most part. I can do whatever I can then die. Man even death sounds appealing - not in a suicidal way. It just feels so comforting after you have lived a full life. No more responsibilities, no more anything, Nothing.

So here are the Qs:

1. How long have you retired? (mention age if you want)
2. WTF do you do all day? You active or inactive? Do you wish it were the other way?
3. How many days did it take you until you got bored doing nothing? (or never)
4. Do you get lonely?

Man, I'd never be the kind of man that'd get depressed because I no longer had work and did not know what to do. I'd totally be a beach bum all day and be that regular guy that just makes his rounds. Then watch some sweet movies on my 32K XTU+PPIHDTV home theater.

Moved from P&N.
admin allisolm

 

[soundforbjt]

Wrong forum. should be in Off Topic.

 

[vi edit]

Both my parents retired. Then they went right back to work. Bored out of their minds and wanted more expendable income.

 

[Bitek]

You're tired as toddlers are exhausting. It matures into just frustrating soon enough.

Have retired neighbors tho, they are always busy as hell.

 

[zinfamous]

Just give me all your money and I'll retire for you.

 

[BoomerD]

I've been more or less retired for almost 15 years. Because I'm on SSDI and disability pension from my union, I couldn't take a part tjme job even if I wanted to...and I DO NOT want to.
We're far from rich...this caught us totally by surprise...and our savings dwindled as the work comp insurance company played fucking games with my comp checks...bills still had to be paid.

Nowadays, we're comfortable..have plenty of money for things we want
When we get bored...we travel...that's why we bought thr RV.

 

[trenchfoot]

There is retiring from your job, but there is no retiring from all of those other things that for some reason or another seems to mysteriously fill every minute of those hours that you thought you'd get upon retiring.

For starters, it's possible that the grand kids will be dropped off all to often (a result of saying "hey, anytime!" while mistakenly leaving out "just not all the time"). And if you think taking care of kids while you're physically fit takes it out of you, wait 'til you're in your seventies where nappy times are more for you than the grand kids.

 

[Markfw]

I'm genuinely curious as a late 30s dad of two toddlers. My work is not even particularly challenging yet I'm just exhausted.

I have another 30 years to go before retirement yet I already dream about it. I dream about the day I raised my kids properly finally and they can go fack off on their own & I retired so people can leave me the hell alone. I don't have to answer to no one. The first thing I'd do is roll around the living room crying hysterically out of sheer joy.

I've worked. I finished being a dad for the most part. I can do whatever I can then die. Man even death sounds appealing - not in a suicidal way. It just feels so comforting after you have lived a full life. No more responsibilities, no more anything, Nothing.

So here are the Qs:

1. How long have you retired? (mention age if you want)
2. WTF do you do all day? You active or inactive? Do you wish it were the other way?
3. How many days did it take you until you got bored doing nothing? (or never)
4. Do you get lonely?

Man, I'd never be the kind of man that'd get depressed because I no longer had work and did not know what to do. I'd totally be a beach bum all day and be that regular guy that just makes his rounds. Then watch some sweet movies on my 32K XTU+PPIHDTV home theater.

1) Retired 3 years after 47 years of working hard, 34 of it in IT.
2) Be a moderator here, play computer games, go the the gym every day to stay fit, and depending on the season, help friends with home remodeling, or take my quads out. Oh, and build new computers like my new 2990WX monster.
3) Not yet.
4) only once in a while. I miss my co-workers, but I do get to talk to some of them every few months.

Bottom line ? I worked my ass off for a lot of years, and now it feels good to be on vacation every day !

 

[imported_tajmahal]

Retired for over 5 years. I spend a lot of time with my wife and the kids and the grandkids fishing, hiking, birdwatching. Also spend time at the range every couple of weeks. Try to make long term trips to National Parks/State Parks/Monuments etc. for fishing and hiking. I've been donating to the Crazy Horse Memorial for over 30 years and try to do a Volksmarch there at least once a year. You can't go wrong spending summers in the Black Hills in the Dakotas.
Hobbies, hobbies and projects. It's not hard to keep yourself amused when you're easily amused.

 

[dingster1]

I’m about to find out in 2 months...

 

[dasherHampton]

I'm half retired even though I'm pretty young for that.

I love it. I do whatever I want.

 

[Mai72]

I'm genuinely curious as a late 30s dad of two toddlers. My work is not even particularly challenging yet I'm just exhausted.

I have another 30 years to go before retirement yet I already dream about it. I dream about the day I raised my kids properly finally and they can go fack off on their own & I retired so people can leave me the hell alone. I don't have to answer to no one. The first thing I'd do is roll around the living room crying hysterically out of sheer joy.

I've worked. I finished being a dad for the most part. I can do whatever I can then die. Man even death sounds appealing - not in a suicidal way. It just feels so comforting after you have lived a full life. No more responsibilities, no more anything, Nothing.

So here are the Qs:

1. How long have you retired? (mention age if you want)
2. WTF do you do all day? You active or inactive? Do you wish it were the other way?
3. How many days did it take you until you got bored doing nothing? (or never)
4. Do you get lonely?

Man, I'd never be the kind of man that'd get depressed because I no longer had work and did not know what to do. I'd totally be a beach bum all day and be that regular guy that just makes his rounds. Then watch some sweet movies on my 32K XTU+PPIHDTV home theater.

Moved from P&N.
admin allisolm

I'm going to have the option to retire in 5 years. While I'm still young. I'll still be in my 40s. I've met people who have retired at 35. I've met people who have retired at 65. It's all pretty much the same. You just get used to it. For me, I've always wanted to retire when I was younger, just so I could have the freedom to do what I wanted in life. That doesn't mean I'll sit on my ass and play video games all day.

IMO, we get way to caught up in the future. When I get out of college, when I get that job, when I get married, have kids, get that house, get that car, make this amount of money, THEN I WILL BE HAPPY. Living in the future is never a good thing. You'll never be satisfied. Plus, the future is unknown. You might never reach 60. You could lose everything. Come down with cancer, or heart disease. We all know this, but we mistakenly think the future will solve all of our problems. It doesn't. It just creates anxiety.

Everyone is different but from the people who I've met who have retired early, lying around got old real quick. I also think it's one of the reasons why old retires die within 5 years because they don't have purpose anymore. John McCain had brought that up in the past. His father and grandfather both retired from the navy, and both died within a 5 year span. He had always said that he was not going to go like they did. He was going to stay active until the day that he couldn't do it anymore. That's what he did.

Just my opinion, so take it for what it is. You're in a bad place man. Already dreaming about retirement and you still have 30 years! Maybe you don't like your line of work? Feel trapped. Only you know. I took care of my uncle about 10 years ago. He had Parkinson disease. What I saw in his eyes was regret. The regret that he didn't do what he wanted in life. The regret that he wasn't able to live his life the way that he wanted, because it was pretty much over. I saw just how quickly he went from being strong and able to a feeble mess. Paranoid. Taught me life lessons that I'll never forget. We should all spend time in old age homes. Yes, we will meet a ton of old people who lived life on their terms, but you'll meet many who have regret and who are going to die with regret.

 

[dasherHampton]

Another thought:

Your happiness in retirement really depends on what kind of person you are. I don't mind being social but I certainly don't need it. I'm perfectly happy with my own company. I don't use social media at all. I can find a project for myself to do, go hit golf balls, read a great book, work on my house, binge watch a show, etc. I'm trying to get back into PC gaming: just bought F1 2012 to see if I can figure the "new" F1.

I know others who would die spending a day alone. Those are the kind of people who need to work until they drop, imo at least. Retirement will suck what's left of life out of them.

 

[boomerang]

1. How long have you retired? (mention age if you want)
2. WTF do you do all day? You active or inactive? Do you wish it were the other way?
3. How many days did it take you until you got bored doing nothing? (or never)
4. Do you get lonely?

1. Retired the first time nine years ago. 45 years of work was enough. That's counting part time work as a teenager, it comes to 38 years of full time work.
2. Right now? Not a lot. We moved to a different state a year ago and I am still settling in. Getting involved with our gated community right now but am thinking it's more grief than I need. I'm inactive but that is not a change in my lifestyle although for the majority of my working years I was way more active at work than I desired. I need to get active. I know I am shortening my life but I'm going to go at some point regardless.
3. I got bored after a year or so. I decided to open an Anytime Fitness. It was in retail space previously occupied by a Blockbuster. I really, really enjoyed getting it all together. Working with the general contractor who was building out the space, ordering everything needed, choosing gym equipment, all the detail work, cost projections and so on. Great fun. Once we opened, in about 12 months I realized that I was not having fun. Hiring was a nightmare and dealing with people can always be challenging. I had not bitten off more than I could chew, I had bitten off more than I wanted to chew. Within eighteen months of opening I sold the business. That was five years ago. The point, and I do have one, is that in retrospect I should have found a new hobby or revisited prior ones.
4. No, but I've never been one to socialize.

I have no regrets.

 

[Viper1j]

Both my parents retired. Then they went right back to work. Bored out of their minds and wanted more expendable income.

My kid brother retired after 30 years with California State Paroles. He went on three cruises, back to the places that we grew up, then took a job with US Marshals. He says that it was the pay that enticed him, and that he had racked up considerable credit card debt. But I know his pension is $5500 a month, and he's just bored off his tits.

 

[Exterous]

Retirement can be a big adjustment for some people and many don't seem to make it well.

Results indicate that complete retirement leads to a 5-16 percent increase in difficulties associated with mobility and daily activities, a 5-6 percent increase in illness conditions, and 6-9 percent decline in mental health, over an average post-retirement period of six years. Models indicate that the effects tend to operate through lifestyle changes including declines in physical activity and social interactions.

http://www.nber.org/papers/w12123

I think some personalities lend themselves to doing well in retirement but others need to have a plan to avoid the negative results. Both my wife and I get personal satisfaction from our jobs and I probably do a bit better with that required structure and deadlines. Because of that I think about what we would do from time to time and should probably come up with some sort of plan before we retire. Volunteer work would be good or maybe even a fun or interesting job. Working is a lot easier when you can do something you're interested in without caring about the pay. Even if you're not super interested the ability to walk off the job at any point is very liberating - at least for me. (I kept a near full time job after I got my first 'real' full time job after college. The stress melted away because I could just quit any time I wanted. Bad day at work? I don't need this. I'm out. My boss told me to do something I didn't want to do and I nicely told him no. He pressed "I'm your boss." "You're right. You can let me go if you want but I'm not doing that.")

 

[gorcorps]

Retirement can be a big adjustment for some people and many don't seem to make it well.



http://www.nber.org/papers/w12123

I think some personalities lend themselves to doing well in retirement but others need to have a plan to avoid the negative results. Both my wife and I get personal satisfaction from our jobs and I probably do a bit better with that required structure and deadlines. Because of that I think about what we would do from time to time and should probably come up with some sort of plan before we retire. Volunteer work would be good or maybe even a fun or interesting job. Working is a lot easier when you can do something you're interested in without caring about the pay. Even if you're not super interested the ability to walk off the job at any point is very liberating - at least for me. (I kept a near full time job after I got my first 'real' full time job after college. The stress melted away because I could just quit any time I wanted. Bad day at work? I don't need this. I'm out. My boss told me to do something I didn't want to do and I nicely told him no. He pressed "I'm your boss." "You're right. You can let me go if you want but I'm not doing that.")

I feel like if you have a lot of hobbies that you don't get tired of (or one or two that can occupy you a lot) then retirement would be nice. If not, or you don't spend a lot of time on your hobbies, then it might not feel as good to have that much free time.

Retirement is a long way off, but I feel like I might fit into the latter category. I have a handful of things I like to do, but I can't imagine doing any of them ALL DAY for multiple days in a row. Maybe down the road as I get the work shop I've always wanted, I'll get more into wood working, but right now I think I'd end up being bored with the hobbies I currently have. I don't really like to travel, I play golf but don't want to play more than 18 holes at a time... and definitely not multiple days in a row.

 

[rh71]

We're 40 with 5th grade kids. I don't get the idea of "I dream about the day I raised my kids properly finally and they can go fack off on their own". I'm very much involved in my kids' activities and would like nothing more than to see them and my grandkids progress through life. With that said...

My parents are both retired and live a few blocks away. It's good and bad. We moved to the same town because of the school district reputation. My mom is always with us whenever we do stuff with the kids (travel hockey games, weekend getaways, etc.). We try to take a family vacation without her once a year of course. Anyway, she's been retired for 3 years now and does jogging and plays the stock market with CNBC on in the background. Not a whole lot to do if they're not traveling - which they don't do much of because they'd rather save money. My dad watches YT and TV a lot. Wants to come over and landscape for me, but I always tell him no because it's hard manual labor. I get that he just wants to feel useful though.

From a different perspective - mine - where I've worked from home every day for the last ~10 years, being at home [if without a purpose] is indeed dull. I can go out at my leisure but it's not all it's cracked up to be. I'm one of those who may need to keep working for as long as possible. When you said "I don't have to answer to no one. The first thing I'd do is roll around the living room crying hysterically out of sheer joy." This was me after my mother-in-law left our house after taking care of our twin toddlers for 3 years straight (she likely felt the same). That feeling lasted maybe a week and then I was over it (the OMG this is freedom feeling). It doesn't last because things become very mundane. This is why travel is pretty much a requirement of retirement life. My parents are about to join a local seniors group because they plan activities and travel locally. That's pretty much going to be the extent of their excitement. Other than grandkids' activities that is. Believe me - you want to remain close with your offspring. The only other alternative is to have local elderly friends who are very much into the same things you are.

 

[purbeast0]

When I retire (and hopefully before) I plan in being down in the Caribbean and living there. If not there, then in Florida in the Keys. And I will spend days fishing, diving, on a beach, and/or out on a boat. And it's going to be fantastic!

 

[SKORPI0]

 

[rh71]

BTW, city-data has a retirement forum that pretty much tells you all you need to know.

 

[jpiniero]

Having kids was a bad mistake.

 

[Billb2]

1. How long have you retired? (mention age if you want)

I'm 72 and have been retired for 30 years.

2. WTF do you do all day? You active or inactive? Do you wish it were the other way?

I'd have to say, for being 72 years old, I'm very active.

My favorite thing to do is to get up, have my coffee, and sit down in the middle of my workshop, and decide what I'm going to make that day. I have a complete woodworking and metalworking shop, Lathe, mill, drill presses, table saws, and pretty much any power or hand too you can imagine, and having been an engineer I like to build stuff.

I crew chief for two road racing teams that race nationwide. I travel a lot for then, 15-20 times per year for 2 days to two weeks, all paid for (meals and bar bills included) sometimes they even fly me first class!).

I shop resale shops with my sister about every 2 weeks and we'll do 8-10 shops in a day, ending with dinner in a bar.

I also get together with my sister and brother about every 2 weeks for drinks and dinner, the rule is no spouses!

I listen to music, shoot for 6-10 hours per week. I did a lot of "buy low, sell high" on Audiogon and eBay, and have a fairly high end audio system.

I probably spend to much time with television news (Comcast everything).

I spend some tine everyday watching and managing my investments. I did spend 2 years day trading (5-20 trades per day), but for 8 hours of work I was only making about $20K per year so it really wasn't worth my time. Now I just "reposition" infrequently.

I like to eat well so spending a hour preparing dinner is not out of the question.

3. How many days did it take you until you got bored doing nothing? (or never)

After about 4 years of retirement I started to miss having a job, a place to go and things to get done. I've had 4 part time/full time jobs since retiring. Each lasted 1 - 4 years. The best was selling computers at a big computer store. Working is a lot nicer when you know you can just walk away if you want!

4. Do you get lonely?

No.

 

[rh71]

^ woodworking is definitely something I want to get into. Plenty of useful items to make for everyone and anyone. If only I had a garage to speak of.

 

[dasherHampton]

I spend some tine everyday watching and managing my investments. I did spend 2 years day trading (5-20 trades per day), but for 8 hours of work I was only making about $20K per year so it really wasn't worth my time. Now I just "reposition" infrequently.

Intense day trading can provide some juice for sure, but it does get old.