Shameless Plug. Self published my first book.

Xcrown

Senior member
Nov 1, 2000
368
0
0
I know the zombie thing appears to be overdone, but here is my take on this fun genre.

I have been unemployed for two and a half years now and am worn out of filling out applications and getting rejection letters.

This is my first chance to try to get out of this hole I am in.

If it seems like something you'd enjoy, check it out, and please let me know what you think.

Xcrown

Deadfall: Survivors


MASSIVE NECRO....Im zombiefying this thread...

Part two is now available, also on Amazon.



Deadfall: Hunters
 
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kranky

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
21,014
137
106
Wish you luck with your book, it had to be a real labor of love. I don't have a Kindle or I would give it a shot.
 

Xcrown

Senior member
Nov 1, 2000
368
0
0
I believe you can download the kindle app for free on a smartphone. Its how I did my editing.

Thanks for the plug.

Xcrown
 

lxskllr

No Lifer
Nov 30, 2004
57,653
7,882
126
I won't buy a book from Amazon, and I have too many backlogged books anyway, but good luck on your book, and I hope you start getting some hits on employment. Ya never know. Sometimes being lucky is better than being good :^)
 

slayer202

Lifer
Nov 27, 2005
13,682
119
106
Honestly, I read the first couple paragraphs of the foreward and the writing is quite bad. It seems like you're trying to be too wordy and the sentence structure and grammar gets all out of wack. Perhaps some people have been too kind to say anything
 

SandEagle

Lifer
Aug 4, 2007
16,813
13
0
On August 17, 2016, the remnants of a comet that was headed for a collision with Earth, but was destroyed by world governments, burns up in the atmosphere, releasing its deadly contents into the air. Within a month, the dead begin to rise at a catastrophic rate and civilization comes to a grinding halt.

Months after this event, Brian Orbison, a former History teacher and avid outdoorsman and hiker, steps out of his house in the mountains of North Carolina to investigate this new world. He has been surviving in a modern, high tech, end of the world bunker that holds many secrets. He is safe up in his mountains, but in lower altitudes, the dead roam everywhere, as he first sees when he comes upon another group of survivors in Hendersonville, North Carolina.

Together with this group, Brian must decide how he will face this new world as he discovers that a shadowy group is intent on discovering the location of his mountain bunker while at the same time attempting to overthrow what is left of the American government. His travels take him across his home state and as he comes across a wide variety of surviving groups he begins to uncover the ancient secrets to the origins of the rising dead and the potential future of mankind.

shoulda started with 'It was a daaaaaaark and stormy night.....'
 

Xcrown

Senior member
Nov 1, 2000
368
0
0
I was gonna start with...

They call me Ishmael. Actually, nobody calls me that.

Xcrown
 

bigrash

Lifer
Feb 20, 2001
17,653
28
91
Too many zombie stuff out there. My coworker is also writing a zombie book and wants me to proof it. Meh!
 

darkxshade

Lifer
Mar 31, 2001
13,749
6
81
So you've been a lurker all this time because you rather write books than forum posts? I am disappointed

I'm just busting your chops, good luck with your booksales.
 

ViviTheMage

Lifer
Dec 12, 2002
36,190
85
91
madgenius.com
I like zombie books, I have read about 12 or so in this format (diary/blog/entry) and I am not sure I like your grammatical style of writing ... but grats on getting it out!
 

Pulsar

Diamond Member
Mar 3, 2003
5,225
306
126
shoulda started with 'It was a daaaaaaark and stormy night.....'

He enjoys using way too many commas.

For instance, it's proper to use commas after a sentence lead in, but when you have more than one in a sentence, even after using a word like "but", it starts to become confusing, annoying, and unreadable.

General rule: it's fairly rare you should have concurrent sentences with commas. Rearranging the sentence structure will often remove the need for commas and make your writing flow more effectively.

I proofread a couple folk's books who publish on a regular basis. They write the huggy-kissy romantic-style books. They aren't my cup of tea, but with my reading speed I can burn through a 300 page book in two evenings.

They all make common mistakes. They change tense mid-sentence. Or mid-paragraph. They use multiple nouns in a sentence then use a pronoun. That makes it very difficult to read, because you don't necessarily know which noun the pronoun refers to.

Of course, they have all the normal issues. They confuse to and too and regularly mess up possessive apostrophes.

It's not as bad as reading a message board on Anandtech though! That's enough to make any proofreader want to slit their wrists.

Keep up the hard work OP. Find yourself a good English high school teacher and have them proof-read your book. Once you understand the places you need to focus on, writing will become much easier.
 
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disappoint

Lifer
Dec 7, 2009
10,137
382
126
He enjoys using way too many commas.

For instance, it's proper to use commas after a sentence lead in, but when you have more than one in a sentence, even after using a word like "but", it starts to become confusing, annoying, and unreadable.

General rule: it's fairly rare you should have concurrent sentences with commas. Rearranging the sentence structure will often remove the need for commas and make your writing flow more effectively.

I proofread a couple folk's books who publish on a regular basis. They write the huggy-kissy romantic-style books. They aren't my cup of tea, but with my reading speed I can burn through a 300 page book in two evenings.

They all make common mistakes. They change tense mid-sentence. Or mid-paragraph. They use multiple nouns in a sentence then use a pronoun. That makes it very difficult to read, because you don't necessarily know which noun the pronoun refers to.

Of course, they have all the normal issues. They confuse to and too and regularly mess up possessive apostrophes.

It's not as bad as reading a message board on Anandtech though! That's enough to make any proofreader want to slit their wrists.

Keep up the hard work OP. Find yourself a good English high school teacher and have them proof-read your book. Once you understand the places you need to focus on, writing will become much easier.

You know what really burns my bacon? Makes me grit my teeth and bite my tongue until I exsanguinate? 'Of' in the place of 'have'. OMG that drives me nuts. I would of proofread my last book but I went to go watch The Simpsons instead. waah wwaaaah.

OP good luck with your book but if you made that error, your book and all the zombies in it will burn.

Hmm, I spelled exsanguinate correctly but the spell check doesn't recognize it. Damn Engrish damn you to hell with that insolent shrew Lois! /end stewie
 
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Xcrown

Senior member
Nov 1, 2000
368
0
0
You know what really burns my bacon? Makes me grit my teeth and bite my tongue until I exsanguinate? 'Of' in the place of 'have'. OMG that drives me nuts. I would of proofread my last book but I went to go watch The Simpsons instead. waah wwaaaah.

OP good luck with your book but if you made that error your book and all the zombies in it will burn.

Hmm, I spelled exsanguinate correctly but the spell check doesn't recognize it. Damn Engrish damn you to hell with that insolent shrew Lois! /end stewie

HAHA. Good stuff. No, I think Im well aware of that common mistake. My main issue is that I ramble too much.

That, and I kept putting a she as a pronoun for a male character...




Thanks for the cheers folks, and the critiques. Im in it to tell a good story if I can and help pay the bills.

Merry xmas everyone.

Xcrown
 

zCypher

Diamond Member
Aug 18, 2002
6,115
171
116
Not going to critique it, but my girl loves zombie stuff so I ordered it for her kindle. Best of luck to you!
 

olds

Elite Member
Mar 3, 2000
50,061
720
126
Not going to critique it, but my girl loves zombie stuff so I ordered it for her kindle. Best of luck to you!
It pretty much sucks but I just bought it to help a little too. Heck, it's only $5.
 

fuzzybabybunny

Moderator<br>Digital & Video Cameras
Moderator
Jan 2, 2006
10,455
35
91
OP, how much does Amazon get out of the $5 and how much of the $5 do you actually receive?

How do you do marketing or make your eBook stand out in the millions of other eBooks on Amazon? I find publishing really interesting but I don't know the details of it, only that it's hard.
 

Miramonti

Lifer
Aug 26, 2000
28,651
100
91
My wife is into the avidly into the zombie thing but I don't have prime. If you can score me a free copy I'll put it on her reader to give it a run.
 

AMCRambler

Diamond Member
Jan 23, 2001
7,701
26
91
In for 1. I'll give it a read. GL Flunker. Lol last name made me laugh. Is that a pseudonym?
 
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