Should I appologize? Got into a fight with my coworker (pregnant woman)

[FoBoT]

be the better person and "Yes, be a man and forget about it."

 

[gsellis]

Originally posted by: PandaBear
Update:

1 hr after work started she goes around the office giving out food to everyone except me (walk right pass my cube), and did not reply to my email.

Well, I made my effort, she didn't accept it, so I don't blame myself anymore.

Without putting too much thought into this and definitely not knowing your manager, you may want to consider forwarding your apology from your sent box to your manager. Get some other opinions first, from where you work. Or, if your manager is approachable, ask what you should do and outline what you have done. It could be that someone is going to fall and you want to give them a chance to know you tried to fix it.

If that had happened here, there would have been a discussion with management with both of you in an office. The second round would have resulted in a further discussion and a warning. The last jib would have resulted in a trip home for the day and possibly termination action.

I only have your side of the story, but your management poor. They should have taken control of it and prevented this continued catfight. Jeez.

 

[PandaBear]

We already got warning once, and the message is if you want to fight keep it among yourselves and don't drag people into the circle. So I doubt she will be silly enough to escalate it. Beside, people around us laught a bit when they saw what happens (not that serious, literally), or just keep quiet during that 2 mins of problematic time.

 

[Hammer]

watch out, her hormones are going. never apologize to a pregant woman, that's like waving a steak in front of a rabid dog. avoid eye contact and don't show any sign of weakness. if she starts to tear up grass, roll into a fetal position and play dead.

 

[Toasthead]

LEARN ENGLISH!

 

[jjones]

Tell her you forgive her for being a stupid bitch.

 

[Britboy]

She sounds like a loon. Pimp slap her and tell her to vacuum your cubicle out.

 

[SuepaFly]

Is it just me or are there a lack of past tense words in there?

 

[HonkeyDonk]

Sorry I couldn't understand a damn word you said. Your English sucks so bad it makes it impossible to understand what's going on.

 

[91TTZ]

Originally posted by: HonkeyDonk
Sorry I couldn't understand a damn word you said. Your English sucks so bad it makes it impossible to understand what's going on.

It wasn't that bad. Give the guy a break.

 

[Nutdotnet]

God damn...

I'm so glad I'm not a dork.

 

[squirrel dog]

Did you say pregnant woman ? Dude ...

 

[BCYL]

Honestly, you apology e-mail doesnt sound too sincere to me, it looks more like a 'cover my own ass' move... I wouldn't be surprised if she never replies you...

 

[TitanDiddly]

Why should the fact that she's pregnant count for anything? She shouldn't get away with stuff because of that. If she's got medical issues because of it, she should take time off.

 

[Vegitto]

Take her, tie her down, open up the belly and steal the kid. Only give it back if she apologizes.

 

[narzy]

oh for the love of god! youses eglish needed be to learned better. I tried to read your post, honest I did but I seriously couldn't finish it because of the blairing grammatical mistakes. I am not a spelling Nazi, and can over look most grammar issues, especially my own. And I'll openly admit that I have a tendency to create run on sentences, but the absolute slaughter you've just committed on the English language is unbearable.

But to answer your post, The bitch is wrong for being a bitch, however you're wrong for not communicating your concerns with her appropriately. My advice would be to pull her aside and confront her with your issues in a calm, respectful manner. Perhaps something to the tune of

"Hey <insert co-workers name>, I noticed that you are having some issues with the way the project is being done and the way that I am coding a specific section of it. My observations of you when a co-worker is reviewing my code is to <insert action> and to make comments of a negative nature about my work product, and I don't appreciate it when you do that. I asked you to review my code originally because I respect your talents and want to make sure you have an opportunity to comment on my work as I feel that the more positive feedback I get enables me to learn and become better in the long term. I want to emphasize that I do respect you and want to develop a friendly relationship with you, however these actions are not making this a comfortable working environment and rather then allowing more tension to build between us I wanted to address my concerns."

 

[PandaBear]

Originally posted by: BCYL
Honestly, you apology e-mail doesnt sound too sincere to me, it looks more like a 'cover my own ass' move... I wouldn't be surprised if she never replies you...

To be honest, yeah, I am still mad and the tension was build up over a period of time. The tension was original between her and the director and I have nothing to do with it, but then it got transfered to me as I take on some of that work. She had such a strong resistance to take the job assigned by the director, that he can't do anything about it. Because of this, the director got into trouble with other directors and they complained to VP of Engineering. He was under pressure to do something that will work.

I admit, the design I came up with is not perfect, because there are a lot of limitations we have to work with, and even after 3 meetings with managers and other team members, thats as far as we can go unless we force other directors to change their design (not going to happen for sure, our director already tried).

Before the whole fight started, she used to critize my work and call it "lots of bugs" without telling me where they are so I can fix it (just said, "I will fix it, just be careful next time" until I insisted that she should told me what and where they are. Only to find out that 1/2 of them are due to miscommunication between team members instead of design mistakes she blame me for.

After I took the assignment and ran into some trouble, I asked her for help (at that time we are not mad at each other yet) but she said she had no idea what is going on, what I wanted to do, and refered me to someone else. I ended up having to spend 3 days scratching my head figuring out that there were a limitation in her design that is not documented. When I told her what is going on, she said yeah, that is a limitation, and I saw a lot of smile on her face.

That's when I turned from feeling sorry for her to feeling angry.

After the first time I tell her to review code instead of complaining the same subject over and over again on email, I reply to everyone telling her to help review code instead of walking off in discussion and bitching after the fact. Then, she started digging out my previous code and complaining the quality. I gave in, and went back to fix every little things she mentioned.

The rest is history.

 

[Deeko]

apologize? APOLOGIZE? To this fvcking bitch? I don't care if she's pregnant, thats no excuse for her being an annoying bitch, if its ok for her to be a bitch cuz she's pregnant, than its ok for me to randomly grab a woman's ass in the office cuz her, I'm a guy, its our nature. Don't apologize, retract the email, pray she has a miscarriage cuz it sounds like she doesn't deserve to be a mother, and don't feel bad about telling her to shut up, she deserves it.

While your at it....work on your English. Good god that post was hard to read.

 

[mercanucaribe]

Tell her to go fvck herself, and if she had done that in the first place she wouldn't be pumping out a fat little baby. Also, learn english .

 

[PandaBear]

English fixed (tried my best)

 

[yllus]

I sure as hell wouldn't apologize.

 

[Rookie]

Tell her how dare she bring a baby into this world...

 

[darkamulets]

Pregnant or not that's not the problem she's just a bitch that doesn't like other people touching her stuff even if it's wrong.

 

[MustangSVT]

/me statnds up from my cube with smile/laughing tone to see what is going on.

 

[MustangSVT]

letting stupid bitch get her ways is NOT being a man.

you can ignore the bitch.