Significant Other: Joint Accounts or Separate?

[Golgatha]

Joint account. We've been married 16 years and having the joint account hasn't caused any issues.

Same here except it's at 14 years. Generally any expenditures over $100, we agree to talk about (not necessarily agree on) before making the purchase. We both have similar financial goals, so I would say getting on the same page (not just with finances, kids/religions/etc) before marriage will save you a lot of stress down the line.

 

[SaurusX]

The wife and I have a joint checking that both paychecks get deposited to. We also have separate checking accounts where we transfer our monthly allowances to. That way we each have our play money to do with as we please.

 

[Remobz]

If you aren't married, separate. The day after you get married, joint.

I rather live common law than get married. Have zero desire to get married to be honest.

 

[alkemyst]

you are a good man

Who can also now track all this wife's purchases.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

Married 25 years, joint account 26 years.

 

[alkemyst]

How many of you are just living paycheck to paycheck? I can see that as a requirement to only have a joint account.

 

[jaedaliu]

How many of you are just living paycheck to paycheck? I can see that as a requirement to only have a joint account.

How so? I see a joint account as an instrument for people who agree on how to spend money and are fully committed to the concept of equality in the marriage.

 

[jagec]

We do not - Unsure why the Govt. is involved in peoples commitments to one another?

Last we checked - We're not real sure what the Govt gives you for that slip of paper aside from spousal SSI.

It's a legal shortcut document which gives you a internationally portable durable POA, visitation rights and certain other healthcare-related benefits, a step-up of certain exclusions from taxation (home sale, estate tax etc), various confidentiality privileges, both legal and financial, (often) discounts on insurance, and certain parenting rights as well.

Many of these can be achieved without marriage, but it's quite a bit harder and more complicated.

 

[alkemyst]

How so? I see a joint account as an instrument for people who agree on how to spend money and are fully committed to the concept of equality in the marriage.

Because there is no extra money to separate.

I don't agree that equality in a marriage is 100%. If one was a doctor, does that mean their spouse was capable to filling in for them? No.

Financial differences are a definite inequality in most marriages. However; it's how you handle them that makes the difference.

Even if I was 'giving' money to my SO, she could have and I would encourage her to have her own account.

People like sharing accounts because it means you can see almost everything your SO does. I have more trust than that.

Also should any relationship ever fail, the other SO can totally legally take all funds from an account and open their own.

 

[MrDudeMan]

How so? I see a joint account as an instrument for people who agree on how to spend money and are fully committed to the concept of equality in the marriage.

That's how I feel as well. I will say, though, that sometimes I want to create separate accounts for the purpose of making it easy and obvious how much money is available for fun. If she and I had separate and equally funded fun money accounts, I bet that would prevent us from ever arguing about it. We don't often argue, but, when we do, that's usually what causes it.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

Because there is no extra money to separate.

I don't agree that equality in a marriage is 100%. If one was a doctor, does that mean their spouse was capable to filling in for them? No.

Financial differences are a definite inequality in most marriages. However; it's how you handle them that makes the difference.

Even if I was 'giving' money to my SO, she could have and I would encourage her to have her own account.

People like sharing accounts because it means you can see almost everything your SO does. I have more trust than that.

Also should any relationship ever fail, the other SO can totally legally take all funds from an account and open their own.

...until the court deems that it isn't theirs and force it back?

Anyways, I'm definitely tired of all the separation crap. Basically, I pay for everything because I'm big on churning money with credit cards and bank accounts. While my fiance isn't big on that, she is very good at not overspending and getting out of debt (IE: She paid off her car and school WAY ahead of time). So I'm looking to cut out all cross transfer and asking annoying questions like "Well, do you think this was a joint expense that you should pay half of, or should I pay for it all?"

 

[Tweak155]

What a wide range of responses. We have a joint checking & savings, I have a business account we just never put her name on. She can log in and view it online though.

We also couldn't get her credit card to show up on our main accounts, again I can just log in and see her account if I want to.

Overall though, "paying" each other just sounds beyond ridiculous. It's both of your money, if one person is writing the other a check, you're both paying for it. You're fooling yourselves with all these separate accounts if you're married. If you're not married, then I get it.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

What a wide range of responses. We have a joint checking & savings, I have a business account we just never put her name on. She can log in and view it online though.

We also couldn't get her credit card to show up on our main accounts, again I can just log in and see her account if I want to.

Overall though, "paying" each other just sounds beyond ridiculous. It's both of your money, if one person is writing the other a check, you're both paying for it. You're fooling yourselves with all these separate accounts if you're married. If you're not married, then I get it.

Yeah, if there was a divorce a joint account or not makes no difference once you tie the knot.

In all honesty, were at the point where we trust eachother - and while I can see every transaction that we make, I won't ever ask questions unless it's approaching $500+ Although it does kind of suck because I can always see presents (the store, at least).

We haven't argued about any purchases other than a home project to get wooden floors for $2k, and that was on the basis of "Is it worth it to put it in this house when we might move sometime soon?" and not if I liked it or not.

 

[OutHouse]

married couples who have separate accounts in my opinion have commitment issues.

 

[RedShirt]

Yeah, I don't get how having a joint account is "a lack of trust" issue. I would argue the other way around. If you have to have separate accounts, then that means you don't trust them to stay out of "your" money.

I also find it odd that some people think each "own" the money their job pays. The money is both of yours! Marriage is teamwork. It's not "this is mine" and "this is yours". It's supposed to be "what's mine is yours".

If your argument is, it's easier if you get divorced to have separate accounts, it doesn't seem like you have much trust in your significant other. Again, that would be a lack of trust issue causing you to have separate accounts.

 

[OutHouse]

"Well, do you think this was a joint expense that you should pay half of, or should I pay for it all?"

you did that with your wife???

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

you did that with your wife???

Fiancee. And yes. It wasn't a fight or yelling when I asked that question, I'm just weary about taking money out of her account without clarifying.

 

[alkemyst]

...until the court deems that it isn't theirs and force it back?

Anyways, I'm definitely tired of all the separation crap. Basically, I pay for everything because I'm big on churning money with credit cards and bank accounts. While my fiance isn't big on that, she is very good at not overspending and getting out of debt (IE: She paid off her car and school WAY ahead of time). So I'm looking to cut out all cross transfer and asking annoying questions like "Well, do you think this was a joint expense that you should pay half of, or should I pay for it all?"

You don't seem to understand the definition of a joint account. It is equally both your money in the common "OR" arrangement. Most aren't doing "AND" as they'd have to co-sign everything together.

Yes, that person would be totally right in taking the money. You LEGALLY agreed to that in the account set up.

Also individual accounts are not automatically split 50/50 in a divorce.

 

[OutHouse]

Because there is no extra money to separate.

I don't agree that equality in a marriage is 100%. If one was a doctor, does that mean their spouse was capable to filling in for them? No.

Financial differences are a definite inequality in most marriages. However; it's how you handle them that makes the difference.

Even if I was 'giving' money to my SO, she could have and I would encourage her to have her own account.

People like sharing accounts because it means you can see almost everything your SO does. I have more trust than that.

Also should any relationship ever fail, the other SO can totally legally take all funds from an account and open their own.

Dude, you are the last one on this board to ever give advice on trust or relationships.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

You don't seem to understand the definition of a joint account. It is equally both your money in the common "OR" arrangement. Most aren't doing "AND" as they'd have to co-sign everything together.

Yes, that person would be totally right in taking the money. You LEGALLY agreed to that in the account set up.

Also individual accounts are not automatically split 50/50 in a divorce.

Neither is a Joint. Apparently you need some legal counseling. It almost sounds like you're preparing for it lol

 

[alkemyst]

married couples who have separate accounts in my opinion have commitment issues.

It's clear you operate in a lower income bracket.

Most high wage earners will have individual accounts.

There is nothing in a commitment issue with it.

Most don't remain married forever, when that separation happens any joint account is up for grabs for whoever gets their first.

Good luck hiring an attorney for this if you have no cash to do so. They don't work except for a direct retainer in divorces.

 

[alkemyst]

Neither is a Joint. Apparently you need some legal counseling. It almost sounds like you're preparing for it lol

Any joint account is indeed 50/50 split in a divorce unless the other party agrees against that. No need to make personal attacks.

 

[Tweak155]

You don't seem to understand the definition of a joint account. It is equally both your money in the common "OR" arrangement. Most aren't doing "AND" as they'd have to co-sign everything together.

Yes, that person would be totally right in taking the money. You LEGALLY agreed to that in the account set up.

Also individual accounts are not automatically split 50/50 in a divorce.

They're not automatically split 50/50 but that money is divided the same whether it was all in one account or in many.

 

[alkemyst]

Dude, you are the last one on this board to ever give advice on trust or relationships.

zip it skippy.

 

[z1ggy]

Seperate. No other way it should be done. Deposit money into a "shared" account for bills only, and the rest of your money should be yours.