An actual conversation I had to suffer through the other day sitting in family court waiting for my ex to get called up for her failure to pay child support:
Redneck woman 1: You member that ol game with them buttons and flashing lights you mashed?
Redneck woman 2: Uh huh, Simon.
Redneck woman 1: Well, I think this wun was called sumpin else, but yeah.....I bought it for a dollar at a yard sale for little Bubba to play with but the gawd damn thang didn't work when I got it home.
Redneck woman 2: You didn't try it out thar?
Redneck woman 1: Yeeeah, but I figgered it jus need batreys s'all. But I got a batrey in it at home and nuthin! And it was a batrey Sam only'd used for a month, so I know its good.
Redneck woman 2: It's amazin' how people try to scam you these days, they sell you junk as if its wurkin'. Did you take it back? I'da taken it back and blessed them out and DEMANDED my dollar back and not leave until they gave it to me or the police (thats pronounced "poh-lease") came.
Redneck woman 1: Yeah, I was gunna take it back....but I forget (forget, not forgot) where they was.
Redneck woman 2: I'd keep lookin till I found em'.....this is America....you can't jus do that to people.
Nevermind it cost a dollar to begin with.....never mind the fact it's a universal rule that yard sale = no returns....no warranties...as is. Nevermind that the "search for the wrong doers" would cost ten times what they paid for the damn thing in gas alone.....
Ahhhh, family court, how I miss thee.