In celebration of making fucking awesome grades for the first time in my life (All A's ) I decided I would toke up and relax for a while. I smoked about 4 blunts and 2 bowls over the course of 4 days. I got a call from an employer with whom I had an internship interview with and they made me an offer. Now I've gotta go take a fucking pee test. Other than last week, I haven't smoked in 2 years. Even before that it was just once or twice.
I smoked my last bit on the 15th (I have to take the test today). According to shit that I've read I'll probably fail because I'm fat and didn't exercise that much last week. I read some shit about drinking lots of water so I've been chugging it since last night. Either way I'm pee shy so maybe if I tell them that I drank a shitload of water to get over pee-shyness it won't be positive for dilution.
This really sucks because I pretty much never smoke pot. The one time I decide get down as a reward for being such a kickass student I get fucked in the ass.
Anywho, am I fucked or what?
Moral of the story: Don't have fun.
fucking hell...
UPDATE:
Just got back from the test.
As expected, i got SUPER pee shy. It took almost 45mins to get it flowing. While I was there I drank almost 80oz of water, lol. The pee was a very very light yellow. Let me break down everything for "scientific" purposes....
12/15 ~2am: Smoked my last joint.
12/16: Got a call in the morning wanting me to go in, but told them I was out of town and would be back next week.
12/27: Starting from around 6pm I drank a shitload of water. Probably around 1gal. Maybe more. I also drank about 1/2 Gal. of apple juice. I didn't exercise much at all last week and ate a somewhat poor diet.
12/21 (Today): Got the call, asked to go in within 24hrs. Woke up super early and started chugging the water. I drank probably another gal of water. I also drank another 1/2 gal of apple juice. I also had a large (probably 20oz) cup of coffee. I was pissing about every 10-15mins. Pee was clear for a while but after the coffee got in me it became somewhat yellow again. Had not eaten all day. Had another 20oz of water. Went to the test center (around 2pm). they had me empty my pockets and take my jacket off (didn't pat me) then they watched me in the bathroom. I couldn't go. Drank another 20oz, tried to piss, couldn't go. Drank 2 more 20oz. and finally got it going. The result was a faint yellow pee. During the wait time I talked to the tester a little. Told her i was pee shy and drank a fuckload of water and coffee because i read on the Internet it would help with pee-shyness. She said it happens to everyone and too not drink too much or you will get sick. I played stupid and she explained about water-poisoning and getting too full on water and about how some people puked in their office (lol). I was feeling pretty sick at this point. She also explained that too much will dilute the result and it will get kicked back or sent to the lab. However, after i finally went she said it looked ok.
The piss tester was a little cup with a lid on top that had 3 strips of pregnancy test looking like things. She stuck it into a thing that looked like a coffee maker and pulled up some website ( i think it was 123easyscreen) and said that the machine does all the testing and the employer will get the results within 30mins ( O_O ).
While I was at the employment location they had a big sign about drug testing is sophisticated, bla bla bla, don't waste our time. On the drug form it says positive results mean you cant work there for 1 year (lol, kinda short if you ask me, i was surprised). I figured I could deal with that and went ahead with it.
Anywho, I guess I'll know later today or tomorrow how it went...
update 2:
i found out my local store sells home drug kits. i bought one (fucking $16). it was a single drug test (only MJ). I took it and got negative results. maybe this means i passed, w00t!!!
I smoked my last bit on the 15th (I have to take the test today). According to shit that I've read I'll probably fail because I'm fat and didn't exercise that much last week. I read some shit about drinking lots of water so I've been chugging it since last night. Either way I'm pee shy so maybe if I tell them that I drank a shitload of water to get over pee-shyness it won't be positive for dilution.
This really sucks because I pretty much never smoke pot. The one time I decide get down as a reward for being such a kickass student I get fucked in the ass.
Anywho, am I fucked or what?
Moral of the story: Don't have fun.
fucking hell...
UPDATE:
Just got back from the test.
As expected, i got SUPER pee shy. It took almost 45mins to get it flowing. While I was there I drank almost 80oz of water, lol. The pee was a very very light yellow. Let me break down everything for "scientific" purposes....
12/15 ~2am: Smoked my last joint.
12/16: Got a call in the morning wanting me to go in, but told them I was out of town and would be back next week.
12/27: Starting from around 6pm I drank a shitload of water. Probably around 1gal. Maybe more. I also drank about 1/2 Gal. of apple juice. I didn't exercise much at all last week and ate a somewhat poor diet.
12/21 (Today): Got the call, asked to go in within 24hrs. Woke up super early and started chugging the water. I drank probably another gal of water. I also drank another 1/2 gal of apple juice. I also had a large (probably 20oz) cup of coffee. I was pissing about every 10-15mins. Pee was clear for a while but after the coffee got in me it became somewhat yellow again. Had not eaten all day. Had another 20oz of water. Went to the test center (around 2pm). they had me empty my pockets and take my jacket off (didn't pat me) then they watched me in the bathroom. I couldn't go. Drank another 20oz, tried to piss, couldn't go. Drank 2 more 20oz. and finally got it going. The result was a faint yellow pee. During the wait time I talked to the tester a little. Told her i was pee shy and drank a fuckload of water and coffee because i read on the Internet it would help with pee-shyness. She said it happens to everyone and too not drink too much or you will get sick. I played stupid and she explained about water-poisoning and getting too full on water and about how some people puked in their office (lol). I was feeling pretty sick at this point. She also explained that too much will dilute the result and it will get kicked back or sent to the lab. However, after i finally went she said it looked ok.
The piss tester was a little cup with a lid on top that had 3 strips of pregnancy test looking like things. She stuck it into a thing that looked like a coffee maker and pulled up some website ( i think it was 123easyscreen) and said that the machine does all the testing and the employer will get the results within 30mins ( O_O ).
While I was at the employment location they had a big sign about drug testing is sophisticated, bla bla bla, don't waste our time. On the drug form it says positive results mean you cant work there for 1 year (lol, kinda short if you ask me, i was surprised). I figured I could deal with that and went ahead with it.
Anywho, I guess I'll know later today or tomorrow how it went...
update 2:
i found out my local store sells home drug kits. i bought one (fucking $16). it was a single drug test (only MJ). I took it and got negative results. maybe this means i passed, w00t!!!
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