so...am i screwed?

[OogyWaWa]

i finished the 2nd 1/2 gal. of apple juice and finished a giant ass cup of coffee. i feel a little funny so I'm done drinking water. my piss is still clear, so, a gotta find a way to get it yellow again. i suppose i'll have some lunch

nerp: thanks

theslamma: not my most shining moment in life

slightlyhuman: done with the water crap. trying to get my piss yellow again.

hiromizu: your name is highly ironic. speak japanese?

bobross419: yah, i never thought they would call so soon. again, not my best decision, but I'm sure you never speed, run stop signs, etc. Lets not make this a debate thread.

drum: I will. But, how do I get results from the lab??? I figured you take the test, the send results to the employer. I mean, obviously if they call me and are like "sorry cant hire you" i know I failed, but, how can i get the chemical results??

BW86: can't get anyone else's piss. all my friends are gone for the holidays.

 

[krylon]

How bout you not be fucking retarded and do something that is against the law anyways... especially knowing that you have internship applications out there... fucking dumbass.

Someone is bitter about their small penis. Relax!

 

[coloumb]

Anywho, am I fucked or what?

Moral of the story: Don't have fun.

fucking hell...

Have fun - but be smart. Do you NEED to do that to have fun? If yes - then move it Amsterdam FFS. There are plenty of other ways to have fun

 

[Saint Nick]

You could sit in the sauna, and take some ibufrofen and niacin, also some vitamins and other B6 and B12. These can skew and ultimately throw-off drug testing means.

Otherwise, depending on your metabolic rate, it could be out of your system.

Or...

Take a water bottle. Have a "clean" friend pee in it. Get handwarmers that warm up when shook. Take the whole shebang to the drug testing place. Use the hand warmers to warm up the bottle before going in (a few minutes prior). Then pour it in the cup.

Yep.

 

[her209]

Get a prescription then you're all good.

 

[Papagayo]

contaminate the vile..
They can't test the vile, if it's contaminated. Stick some salt or soap under your nails, put into a vile, while you are peeing..
I learned this , when I was in the army..

If the test comes up inconclusive, then you still pass, because you took the test..

Sorry about spelling.. Don't feel like doing spell-check..

 

[krylon]

contaminate the vile..
They can't test the vile, if it's contaminated. Stick some salt or soap under your nails, put into a vile, while you are peeing..
I learned this , when I was in the army..

If the test comes up inconclusive, then you still pass, because you took the test..

Sorry about spelling.. Don't feel like doing spell-check..

He isn't applying for the army, so a failed test due to soap or salt might mean a do-over or an investigation. Most likely it will result in a complete throwout as a possible candidate.

 

[maziwanka]

Be "out of town" for the holidays, then take the test in a week or so.

perfect response. take the test next month

 

[HybridSquirrel]

well when i worked for wells fargo during the summer they told me they only looked for hard drugs, like meth and coke, and weed they were more lenient. go to a head shop and get some detox. but if their policy is no drug use at all then you might be screwed, there are plenty of ways to pass piss tests, ask anyone who is on probation.

 

[arcenite]

Someone is bitter about their small penis. Relax!

His point is just. His execution is poor.

 

[ConstipatedVigilante]

Call in and say that something came up and re-schedule for a few weeks later. And buy one of those detox kits from online. A guy I know bought one (heavy smoker) and he passed the test in IIRC less than a week.

 

[Titan]

Eat a shit ton of poppy seed bagels. They will ignore the weed and cite you for heroin use. Save the receipt for the bagels, document the bagel eating experience, then sue the fuckers for not giving you the job. Profit.

 

[l0cke]

This thread needs a poll.

 

[ConwayJim]

/lawnchair

 

[OILFIELDTRASH]

Sorry to tell you that you're going to fail the test.
Urine is yellow when you're dehydrated not drinking sodas.

 

[DesiPower]

ROFL, you are the definition of FVCKED

 

[Tsavo]

Really fuck them up by jerking off into the test cup, then claim ignorance and ask to return in a week.

 

[CRXican]

celebrate with booze you asshat!

fail

 

[AVAFREAK182]

when is the test?

 

[Theb]

Drink a lot before the test when you go in to take the test it should feel like your bladder's going to burst. The sample will be diluted they may pass you or they may ask you to come in for a second test, policies vary. It's not unusual or suspicious for someone with a shy bladder to over-prepare. Don't do something stupid like try to contaminate the sample.

You have a good chance of passing, you're young and you don't smoke very often. They're trying to detect a certain level of thc metabolites they're not trying to verify a complete absence of them.

 

[Mxylplyx]

Since this is the first time you've smoked in a while, it was probably out of your system within 48 hours. But, just in case, go to a GNC and ask at the counter for a product called Q-Carb, and follow the directions exactly as it sais before you take the test. Pee first before you go. If they dont have Q-Carb, dont be shy, and explain to them exactly what you want, ie "I need to pass a drug test", and they should have something.

Essentially, all it is is a drink that allows you to super hydrate and dillute the THC content, without the testers being able to tell you dilluted. It contains b12 to give the pee color, and creatine supplements, since they test for low creating levels to signal dillution.

Also, they sell testing kits at walmart or any drug store. Find out before you go if you will pass, so you can delay the test if you fail.

 

[Sea Moose]

Yeah, you are FUCKED.


If i were you i would NOT turn up to the test. I have been told that they can detect marijuana for up to 60days. And it would be my guess that if you get a reading it would be their legal obligation to pass the results onto the police

They dont give a fuck about you. You will be just another druggo to them.

Learn from the mistake AND DONT TAKE THAT TEST. You will get a permanent record.


Hookers and blow are fun to joke about on atot, but in real life.....

 

[OogyWaWa]

Just got back from the test.

As expected, i got SUPER pee shy. It took almost 45mins to get it flowing. While I was there I drank almost 80oz of water, lol. The pee was a very very light yellow. Let me break down everything for "scientific" purposes....

12/15 ~2am: Smoked my last joint.
12/16: Got a call in the morning wanting me to go in, but told them I was out of town and would be back next week.
12/27: Starting from around 6pm I drank a shitload of water. Probably around 1gal. Maybe more. I also drank about 1/2 Gal. of apple juice. I didn't exercise much at all last week and ate a somewhat poor diet.
12/21 (Today): Got the call, asked to go in within 24hrs. Woke up super early and started chugging the water. I drank probably another gal of water. I also drank another 1/2 gal of apple juice. I also had a large (probably 20oz) cup of coffee. I was pissing about every 10-15mins. Pee was clear for a while but after the coffee got in me it became somewhat yellow again. Had not eaten all day. Had another 20oz of water. Went to the test center (around 2pm). they had me empty my pockets and take my jacket off (didn't pat me) then they watched me in the bathroom. I couldn't go. Drank another 20oz, tried to piss, couldn't go. Drank 2 more 20oz. and finally got it going. The result was a faint yellow pee. During the wait time I talked to the tester a little. Told her i was pee shy and drank a fuckload of water and coffee because i read on the Internet it would help with pee-shyness. She said it happens to everyone and too not drink too much or you will get sick. I played stupid and she explained about water-poisoning and getting too full on water and about how some people puked in their office (lol). I was feeling pretty sick at this point. She also explained that too much will dilute the result and it will get kicked back or sent to the lab. However, after i finally went she said it looked ok.

The piss tester was a little cup with a lid on top that had 3 strips of pregnancy test looking like things. She stuck it into a thing that looked like a coffee maker and pulled up some website ( i think it was 123easyscreen) and said that the machine does all the testing and the employer will get the results within 30mins ( O_O ).

While I was at the employment location they had a big sign about drug testing is sophisticated, bla bla bla, don't waste our time. On the drug form it says positive results mean you cant work there for 1 year (lol, kinda short if you ask me, i was surprised). I figured I could deal with that and went ahead with it.

Anywho, I guess I'll know later today or tomorrow how it went...

 

[OogyWaWa]

Also,
One thing I've found is there are a SHITLOAD of conflicting info on the internet (no surprise there). Lots of people say vit-b, water, water, cranberry juice, etc. etc. Others say it doesn't work, other says cleaners work, some say they don't, etc. etc. Since I don't really care about the outcome that much, I figured i would do the most basic shit that i could do in a short time frame and just chugged water. Heres hoping

 

[nerp]

Contaminate the "vile" haha.
Funny typo.