So...I failed my family today

[Stumps]

Well where do I start with this one?

I am a complete failure...I was unable to help my Fiancee and my little princess Emily.

After struggling the past few weeks to get my Fiancee help for her rapidly declining mental health now she has been commited for Psychiatric evaluation with a probable outcome of permanently being put in a mental facility.

My lovely little daughter has been taken away and placed in to foster care until the custody of her can temporarly awarded to my parents.

what the hell went wrong?, what did I do to fail them both so miserably.

the Department of Child Services were so concerned about Emily's welfare that it only took them 3 hrs to process the removal of Emily once the complaint had been filed.

Following the inital complaint to the police which prompted all of this the police were concerned for my safety and immediatly took Michelle for evaluation at the local hosipital.

Now I am by myself, confused and depressed...

This is 100% real, I have the removal order sitting in front of me at the moment.

 

[Inspector Jihad]

hang in there bud.

 

[BrownTown]

Wait, why don't YOU get control of the kid?

 

[Aquaman]

Best of luck.

Cheers,
Aquaman

 

[Al Neri]

im here for you bro if you want to talk, PM me

 

[Wapp]

Why are you blaming yourself for your wife losing it?

 

[Stumps]

Originally posted by: BrownTown
Wait, why don't YOU get control of the kid?

the Department of Child services are convinced that can't safely protect myself let alone Emily.....

I have to wait till custody has been awarded to my parents, before I can go for full custody, DOCS first priotity was to protect Emily...and it was getting quite clear to everybody that I could do that on my own...I am flat out now trying to garrantee my safety after last nights events.

 

[Beev]

 

[Stumps]

Originally posted by: Wapp
Why are you blaming yourself for your wife losing it?

because I couldn't get her the help that she needs...

 

[Beev]

Sometimes there's nothing you can do. My mom has had a mental disorder (albeit not a majorly terrible one) for the past decade. She fights everyday, though, and I do what I can, which is only so much

 

[Spineshank]

While everything seems down now, it looks like things are on the right track at getting better though.

 

[BrownTown]

On a related note, mentaly unstable people make life really really suck. I guess thats not something that someone would want to hear if they were in love with a mentall unstable person, but my dad ended up marrying someone who had mental problem (my mom obviously), thinking he could change her and his life has been a living hell ever since, he is literally a zombie, and nobody should ever have to go threw something like that. I know it sucks for the mentally unstable person too probably most of all, but they can take down many many more people than just themselves, and if they really are a threat It may well be best to have them put in a mental hospital. If this person is really suffering from mental illness you might want to consider just how much it will harm this kid to grow up around them, i look at my siblings, and being raised by a person with serios bipolar didorder has deffintely seriously hurt our chances of having a normal life.

 

[Stumps]

Originally posted by: BrownTown
On a related note, mentaly unstable people make life really really suck. I guess thats not something that someone would want to hear if they were in love with a mentall unstable person, but my dad ended up marrying someone who had mental problem (my mom obviously), thinking he could change her and his life has been a living hell ever since, he is literally a zombie, and nobody should ever have to go threw something like that. I know it sucks for the mentally unstable person too probably most of all, but they can take down many many more people than just themselves, and if they really are a threat It may well be best to have them put in a mental hospital. If this person is really suffering from mental illness you might want to consider just how much it will harm this kid to grow up around them, i look at my siblings, and being raised by a person with serios bipolar didorder has deffintely seriously hurt our chances of having a normal life.

My fiancee suffers from Paranoid Schitzophrenia and Major depression (Manic depressive), her illness had been under control with medication, however since giving birth, post natal depression hit her like a ton of bricks and no medication in the world was going to help...I tried frantically to get her help, but the slow mental health system in Australia didn't act quickily enougth to help her.


A part of the court order will prevent Michelle from ever having custody of Emily and for now (until further notice) she isn't allowed with in 100 metres of Emily.

 

[aidanjm]

Originally posted by: Stumps
Well where do I start with this one?

I am a complete failure...I was unable to help my Fiancee and my little princess Emily.

After struggling the past few weeks to get my Fiancee help for her rapidly declining mental health now she has been commited for Psychiatric evaluation with a probable outcome of permanently being put in a mental facility.

My lovely little daughter has been taken away and placed in to foster care until the custody of her can temporarly awarded to my parents.

what the hell went wrong?, what did I do to fail them both so miserably.

the Department of Child Services were so concerned about Emily's welfare that it only took them 3 hrs to process the removal of Emily once the complaint had been filed.

Following the inital complaint to the police which prompted all of this the police were concerned for my safety and immediatly took Michelle for evaluation at the local hosipital.

Now I am by myself, confused and depressed...

This is 100% real, I have the removal order sitting in front of me at the moment.

hmmm, post natal depression is bad enough, but the schizophrenia adds another layer of complications to the situation.
(I just read that post)

 

[BigJ]

Best of luck to you man. Don't beat yourself up over it. You tried your damnedest and that's all anyone could ever ask.

 

[BrownTown]

Originally posted by: aidanjm
hey, nothing is permanent, especially where post-natal depression is concerned

Umm, yeah some things ARE deffinitely permenant.

 

[Stumps]

Originally posted by: aidanjm

Originally posted by: Stumps
Well where do I start with this one?

I am a complete failure...I was unable to help my Fiancee and my little princess Emily.

After struggling the past few weeks to get my Fiancee help for her rapidly declining mental health now she has been commited for Psychiatric evaluation with a probable outcome of permanently being put in a mental facility.

My lovely little daughter has been taken away and placed in to foster care until the custody of her can temporarly awarded to my parents.

what the hell went wrong?, what did I do to fail them both so miserably.

the Department of Child Services were so concerned about Emily's welfare that it only took them 3 hrs to process the removal of Emily once the complaint had been filed.

Following the inital complaint to the police which prompted all of this the police were concerned for my safety and immediatly took Michelle for evaluation at the local hosipital.

Now I am by myself, confused and depressed...

This is 100% real, I have the removal order sitting in front of me at the moment.

hey, nothing is permanent, especially where post-natal depression is concerned

it is very common for new mothers to "go off the rails" after having their child..

my own mother was very badly depressed after her first child (my older brother) - she was actually hospitalised for depression, the doctors were worried she might hurt herself, so she was essentially "lcoked up"

the sister of one of my friends also had very bad post-partum depression. Altho now she is being treated, taking antidepressants, and is doing well.

I don't think you can blame yourself for something like this. It's really more of a biological thing. Pregnancy places a massive stress on the mother's body, it's hardly surprising that many mothers experience depression and mental health problems after giving birth. But it is very treatable.

After speaking to the specialists that are assesing her, they really do doubt that she will be able to function normally...she has no real concept of reality now.

 

[dug777]

Hope it works out for ya mate, if you ever need a chat hit me with a PM, and my mobile is always on if you want the number :beer:

 

[aidanjm]

Originally posted by: BrownTown

Originally posted by: aidanjm
hey, nothing is permanent, especially where post-natal depression is concerned

Umm, yeah some things ARE deffinitely permenant.

depression is treatable, schizophrenia is more problematic.
but I guess the aim of hospitalisation is to prevent mentally ill people from doing those "permanent" things like suicide or harming others

 

[Stumps]

Originally posted by: aidanjm

Originally posted by: BrownTown

Originally posted by: aidanjm
hey, nothing is permanent, especially where post-natal depression is concerned

Umm, yeah some things ARE deffinitely permenant.

depression is treatable, schizophrenia is more problematic.
but I guess the aim of hospitalisation is to prevent mentally ill people from doing those "permanent" things like suicide or harming others

that is what almost happened in this case...luckily the neighbours heard me screaming for help at 4am and came to assist...it was fvcking horrible I've never seen or experienced anything like it before.

 

[Vegitto]

Originally posted by: Stumps

Originally posted by: aidanjm

Originally posted by: BrownTown

Originally posted by: aidanjm
hey, nothing is permanent, especially where post-natal depression is concerned

Umm, yeah some things ARE deffinitely permenant.

depression is treatable, schizophrenia is more problematic.
but I guess the aim of hospitalisation is to prevent mentally ill people from doing those "permanent" things like suicide or harming others

that is what almost happened in this case...luckily the neighbours heard me screaming for help at 4am and came to assist...it was fvcking horrible I've never seen or experienced anything like it before.

What happened, man? Even if you don't want to talk about it, talking about it helps you to make it more 'real' for yourself. If you ever need my help, whether it be that you need someone to talk to or whatever (I was gonna say lend you some money, but I'm kind of broke ), PM me, man.

ATOT loves you, Stumps. I hope you and your fiancé pull through, and I hope you'll get custody of Emily.

 

[ForumMaster]

hang in there man. you did the best you could. don't beat yourself over it. i know i speak for all of ATOT when i wish you luck. my grandfather suffered from depression after my grandmother passed away. but we helped him get through it. hopefully your fiancee will recover.

 

[SearchMaster]

Wow, there are no words...I remember when you first posted about the birth of your daughter and how happy you obviously were. Now this.

If your Fiancee is unwell enough to hurt/almost hurt her child, then you have to understand it's best for her to be where she is now. You HAVE to fight for your daughter, and she MUST be your first concern right now. Your fiancee is with professionals that will help diagnose and treat her, and is in the best place for her right now. Your daughter is NOT. Go to court and get her back and make it clear that the environment which caused them to remove her from your home has changed drastically, and being with her natural father is the best thing. Obviously you'll need an attorney, and while I know little about the U.S. legal system, and obviously even less about the Australian system, I would think you should be able to get one appointed by the govt if you can't afford one. This is your number one priority now though, don't let another day go by without getting the wheels in motion.

 

[Old Hippie]

My fiancee suffers from Paranoid Schitzophrenia and Major depression (Manic depressive), her illness had been under control with medication, however since giving birth, post natal depression hit her like a ton of bricks and no medication in the world was going to help...

WOW. Hang in there Bud. All my good Vibes are headed your way.

 

[boomerang]

I'm assuming your fiance's parents are no longer living. If they had been, here in the States, they would have had custody of your child.

Your parents have temporary custody. As you said, when the situation stabilizes, there's every reason to believe you will get custody of her. Really, truly, try as hard as you can to think of how this can and will work out for the positive. Dwelling on the negative aspects of this situation will do nothing more than get you depressed. You need to remain the one best solution for your daughters care.