So I got married 15 months ago and now my two best friends ignore me

[StinkyPinky]

We used to hang out most weekends and were close friends, but ever since I got hitched, I never hear anything from then. It's also not from lack of trying on my part, I constantly text message them asking if they want to hang out somewhere. Usually they just don't reply.

What has really got me down however is that I sent them a text yesterday to let them know my wife is pregnant, and even then I got nothing. Not even a simple "congrats"!

I actually feel betrayed. It makes me wonder if they were ever really good friends at all

I've best friends with them since I was 13. (27 now)

Anyone else experience this?

****update below****

Just a quick update for anyone who read this thread previously. So here's a reply I got from one of my friends (a week later)

"Classy way to announce the news, puke face. Congrats! So pleased 2 kno that another refuse pile like u will be populating the planet. Sorry got to go. Need to find out a way to dump my b1tch of a girlfriend as she's fukd in the head. At least I've still got my friends to cheer me up"

So I called him but just get his voicemail. F*** him. That's it.

 

[randomlinh]

maybe your text msgs aren't getting across? you could try the normal way of contact.. like the phone. seriously, as I have a friend I never text because verizon and nextel here don't play nice together.

 

[StinkyPinky]

Originally posted by: randomlinh
maybe your text msgs aren't getting across? you could try the normal way of contact.. like the phone. seriously, as I have a friend I never text because verizon and nextel here don't play nice together.

No, they get them. Texting was our preferred method of talking for years, and they still use the same phones.

 

[Sukhoi]

I'm guessing it's something you unknowingly did. When you hung out with them after you got married did you bring your wife along and mostly pay attention to her? That sort of stuff pisses me off to no end when other people do it to me.

 

[mobobuff]

Originally posted by: Sukhoi
I'm guessing it's something you unknowingly did. When you hung out with them after you got married did you bring your wife along and mostly pay attention to her? That sort of stuff pisses me off to no end when other people do it to me.

QFT. If that's what you did, they most likely weren't happy.

Still that's not a reason to cut off all contact. A true best friend wouldn't care, and would still try to hang out.

Maybe they're jealous? Pics of the wife?

 

[Gilligansdingy]

Friendships are a 2 way street.Text messaging in my book doesnt count much for staying in contact. Seems you stoped calling them along time ago.

 

[StinkyPinky]

Originally posted by: Sukhoi
I'm guessing it's something you unknowingly did. When you hung out with them after you got married did you bring your wife along and mostly pay attention to her? That sort of stuff pisses me off to no end when other people do it to me.

Not usually, I liked having a guys nights out. I love my wife but I always enjoyed hanging out only with the boys so to speak. They are both single though, so it probably does have something to do with it.

 

[StinkyPinky]

Originally posted by: Gilligansdingy
Friendships are a 2 way street.Text messaging in my book doesnt count much for staying in contact. Seems you stoped calling them along time ago.

Like I said, that's how we always kept in contact. Long before I even met my wife.

 

[doze]

It's not them it's you

Now your probably boring married guy, most of my old friends are that guy now.

 

[apac]

Originally posted by: StinkyPinky

Originally posted by: Sukhoi
I'm guessing it's something you unknowingly did. When you hung out with them after you got married did you bring your wife along and mostly pay attention to her? That sort of stuff pisses me off to no end when other people do it to me.

Not usually, I liked having a guys nights out. I love my wife but I always enjoyed hanging out only with the boys so to speak. They are both single though, so it probably does have something to do with it.

People change. I used to be really close to my roommate, but he's been involved with this girl for a few years now and it's really changed him, even though I'm sure he doesn't realize it. My guess is that you put your wife at a higher priority than them, and trust me, it sucks to be on the receiving end. Do they ever call and ask you to do something only to have you tell them you can't because you're doing XXXX with your wife?

 

[johnjohn320]

Call them and find out what's up.

 

[KK]

congrats on impregnating your wife. once you have the little bundle of joy you won't have much time to have a life of your own, so you won't mind that these two "friends" are blowing you off.

 

[StinkyPinky]

Originally posted by: apac

Originally posted by: StinkyPinky

Originally posted by: Sukhoi
I'm guessing it's something you unknowingly did. When you hung out with them after you got married did you bring your wife along and mostly pay attention to her? That sort of stuff pisses me off to no end when other people do it to me.

Not usually, I liked having a guys nights out. I love my wife but I always enjoyed hanging out only with the boys so to speak. They are both single though, so it probably does have something to do with it.

People change. I used to be really close to my roommate, but he's been involved with this girl for a few years now and it's really changed him, even though I'm sure he doesn't realize it. My guess is that you put your wife at a higher priority than them, and trust me, it sucks to be on the receiving end. Do they ever call and ask you to do something only to have you tell them you can't because you're doing XXXX with your wife?

Yes I did to be honest. But at the same time I would always make an effort to arrange another time. And yeah, I know it sucks to be on the other side, I wasn't always in a relationship.

 

[dak125]

Was either one involved in the marriage ceremony?

 

[theprodigalrebel]

Maybe it has nothing to do with your marriage. Maybe it's something else...

 

[MagicConch]

I stopped spending a lot of time with a good friend after she got married. Suddenly her problems were more important, interesting, and numerous than before (at least to her)

 

[mercanucaribe]

Sounds like your ex-friends are pvssies. They're too emotionally fragile to handle you being married and not loving them as much as her.

 

[Oceandevi]

Challenge them to a pit fight!

 

[GPett]

Its just a fact of life that married people and their previous single friends go in different directions at the social fork in the road.

Find some married friends. Thats just how things work. Married friends will better understand what you are going through.

It may sound shallow but it is the truth.

 

[imported_Mike]

Originally posted by: StinkyPinky

Originally posted by: apac

Originally posted by: StinkyPinky

Originally posted by: Sukhoi
I'm guessing it's something you unknowingly did. When you hung out with them after you got married did you bring your wife along and mostly pay attention to her? That sort of stuff pisses me off to no end when other people do it to me.

Not usually, I liked having a guys nights out. I love my wife but I always enjoyed hanging out only with the boys so to speak. They are both single though, so it probably does have something to do with it.

People change. I used to be really close to my roommate, but he's been involved with this girl for a few years now and it's really changed him, even though I'm sure he doesn't realize it. My guess is that you put your wife at a higher priority than them, and trust me, it sucks to be on the receiving end. Do they ever call and ask you to do something only to have you tell them you can't because you're doing XXXX with your wife?

Yes I did to be honest. But at the same time I would always make an effort to arrange another time. And yeah, I know it sucks to be on the other side, I wasn't always in a relationship.

You obviously know what the problem is. Instead of texting, give them a call and set something up. It really isn't that hard.

 

[Whoozyerdaddy]

Sounds like they're taking the "bros before hos" thing a little too far.

At the same time, if they're ignoring you because you got married and are now starting a family despite your trying to maintain regular contact, eff 'em. They need to grow up.

 

[Adn4n]

I'm in a similar situation with a friend, except I'm one of the two unmarried friends. If it wasn't for me taking action he wouldn't even be together with her, and it's not agreeable to me that I get ditched after we make plans in advance. I have a very difficult major and work very hard, I don't have time for cancellations last minute.

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: Whoozyerdaddy
Sounds like they're taking the "bros before hos" thing a little too far.

At the same time, if they're ignoring you because you got married and are now starting a family despite your trying to maintain regular contact, eff 'em. They need to grow up.

Ayup. Friends change and form their own lives. It's each man's choice to determine if he wants to be a part of that. Sometimes that requires curtailing one's ego.

On the flip side, I've been in the situation where my best friend's wife disrespects me constantly. Trust me, I don't spend much time with that couple any more. I like talking to him but his wife just goes out of her way to piss me off.

At the end of the day, his wife will take priority, and I respect that choice. And I have moved on.

 

[ebaycj]

Originally posted by: StinkyPinky
We used to hang out most weekends and were close friends, but ever since I got hitched, I never hear anything from then. It's also not from lack of trying on my part, I constantly text message them asking if they want to hang out somewhere. Usually they just don't reply.

What has really got me down however is that I sent them a text yesterday to let them know my wife is pregnant, and even then I got nothing. Not even a simple "congrats"!

I actually feel betrayed. It makes me wonder if they were ever really good friends at all

I've best friends with them since I was 13. (27 now)

Anyone else experience this?

They don't like your wife.

 

[Boo Boo]

could it be your called stinky pinky?