So I got married 15 months ago and now my two best friends ignore me

[skrilla]

Somewhere along the line you probably seemed more concerned about hanging out with your girl than them. I'm not saying that is really a bad thing... but things change man. I am at right about your age and have been seeing the same kind of things going on lately.

Even with the text response you got from your friend, I would still try to find out what you did or what it was that made it come to this. Try to see it from his angle too.. not just an "I'm married and have a kid" view, because everyone has priorities.

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Originally posted by: meltdown75
I've been married for almost 4 years. I used to get calls quite a bit. Calls to golf, calls to drink & party, calls to just frickin hang out.

I don't even need a phone anymore. I don't exist.

/self

not one of my friends called to offer condolences when my Pep passed away last Friday. not a call, not a card, not a show at the funeral... nothin.

just a kick in the pills. that's all i get!

well... i am golfin with friends this afternoon... so... it's not all doom & gloom

but it's hella different man. i feel yo pain dawg!

- M4H

 

[meltdown75]

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire

Originally posted by: meltdown75
I've been married for almost 4 years. I used to get calls quite a bit. Calls to golf, calls to drink & party, calls to just frickin hang out.

I don't even need a phone anymore. I don't exist.

/self

not one of my friends called to offer condolences when my Pep passed away last Friday. not a call, not a card, not a show at the funeral... nothin.

just a kick in the pills. that's all i get!

well... i am golfin with friends this afternoon... so... it's not all doom & gloom

but it's hella different man. i feel yo pain dawg!

- M4H

Thanks M4H.

 

[zephyrprime]

Originally posted by: GPett
Its just a fact of life that married people and their previous single friends go in different directions at the social fork in the road.

Find some married friends. Thats just how things work. Married friends will better understand what you are going through.

It may sound shallow but it is the truth.

It doesn't sound shallow it just sounds sad. I know what you mean though. Humans are such unreliable creatures.

 

[SaltBoy]

The great thing about my marriage is that my wife IS my best friend in every sense of the word. Seeing as how your old friends have ditched you, do your best to make sure your wife becomes your best friend if she isn't now.

Good luck!

 

[mugs]

Originally posted by: StinkyPinky

****update below****

Just a quick update for anyone who read this thread previously. So here's a reply I got from one of my friends (a week later)

"Classy way to announce the news, puke face. Congrats! So pleased 2 kno that another refuse pile like u will be populating the planet. Sorry got to go. Need to find out a way to dump my b1tch of a girlfriend as she's fukd in the head. At least I've still got my friends to cheer me up"

So I called him but just get his voicemail. F*** him. That's it.

You must have unknowingly done something to really piss that guy off. Oh well.

What late 20s person talks like that?

 

[yowolabi]

Originally posted by: StinkyPinky

****update below****

Just a quick update for anyone who read this thread previously. So here's a reply I got from one of my friends (a week later)

"Classy way to announce the news, puke face. Congrats! So pleased 2 kno that another refuse pile like u will be populating the planet. Sorry got to go. Need to find out a way to dump my b1tch of a girlfriend as she's fukd in the head. At least I've still got my friends to cheer me up"

So I called him but just get his voicemail. F*** him. That's it.

Sounds like he was just ribbing you. That would actually be confirmation that everything's okay to me.

 

[Cattlegod]

Originally posted by: mugs

Originally posted by: StinkyPinky

****update below****

Just a quick update for anyone who read this thread previously. So here's a reply I got from one of my friends (a week later)

"Classy way to announce the news, puke face. Congrats! So pleased 2 kno that another refuse pile like u will be populating the planet. Sorry got to go. Need to find out a way to dump my b1tch of a girlfriend as she's fukd in the head. At least I've still got my friends to cheer me up"

So I called him but just get his voicemail. F*** him. That's it.

You must have unknowingly done something to really piss that guy off. Oh well.

What late 20s person talks like that?

it sounds like the guy was joking with him.

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: yowolabi

Originally posted by: StinkyPinky

****update below****

Just a quick update for anyone who read this thread previously. So here's a reply I got from one of my friends (a week later)

"Classy way to announce the news, puke face. Congrats! So pleased 2 kno that another refuse pile like u will be populating the planet. Sorry got to go. Need to find out a way to dump my b1tch of a girlfriend as she's fukd in the head. At least I've still got my friends to cheer me up"

So I called him but just get his voicemail. F*** him. That's it.

Sounds like he was just ribbing you. That would actually be confirmation that everything's okay to me.

BINGO dude

 

[Looney]

They've known each other since they were 13... i think he would know whether the guy was joking or not.

 

[dainthomas]

I'm guessing that your friend REALLY liked you, and was ticked off when you ended up playing for the wrong team. His apparently poor relationships with women would seem to support this.

 

[lokiju]

Sounds like they were crappy friends in reality and this has just made that apparent to you.

 

[Scarpozzi]

I got married in September...

I asked one of my best friends to be my best man. He bailed on me and said that he didn't want to be my best man. (no reason specified)

After that, things were shakey between us. It turns out that the last year and a half since I asked him, he's just not wanted to hang out or anything. Worst part is that he bought a house like a block away from mine.

So....we see each other all the time. The only thing I can figure is that he works with a lot of old guys that are single/divorced/miserable and he can't understand the kind of relationship I have with my wife. We both severed some personal relationships to be together... I think it just goes with the territory.
1. We spend more time with each other than our friends.
2. We hang out with friends, but usually are both present when we have time to hang out...
3. The true friends don't mind having us all together. It should be expected that when someone gets married, they are no longer free to go clubbing, dance with strangers, and do other things that might disrespect their relationship with their spouse.

 

[Looney]

Man, sounds like some of you guys have some really sh1tty friends.

 

[randomlinh]

Originally posted by: Looney
Man, sounds like some of you guys have some really sh1tty friends.

yeah, I agree... granted, only one of my close friends is married. And his wife is cool, so no problems there.

 

[jman19]

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire

Originally posted by: tw1164
He's just made that your GF/wife took you away from him.

QFT. He's just upset that he won't get to share a workout, romp around a crowded room while the music goes
BOOMtssBOOMtssBOOMtssBOOMtssBOOMtss
followed by a session of sweaty man-love and a shower after the match.



- M4H

Haha that reminds me of that scene in Good Will Hunting when Will thinks that shrink has the hots for him

 

[Looney]

You guys have been friends since you're 13. You're 27 now. That's 14 years you've known each other, and you guys must have dated and had relationships prior to one of you guys getting married. So just because there's a ring on each other's finger now, shouldn't change your relationships with your friends... unless you did change the relationship you've had with them as soon as you put on the ring.

I went through these exact same problems... except we were in our late teens and early 20s, when we started dating and getting into relationships.

 

[ballmode]

bros before hos

 

[Aikouka]

When I first saw this thread, I thought you were my friend and just joined ATOT or something . There's a similar thing going on with a friend of mine and the rest of the "gang." In our case, women messed things up quite a bit. Poor mistakes with women or women making some bad moves, and now there's a huge schism where I'm the only one that doesn't dislike anyone. It gets kind of annoying, because if I end up hanging out with one friend a bit... I feel bad for not hanging out with another . Then there's the fact that I never start conversations but am more than happy to be in one.

Although I don't think anyone in my tale would tell someone else what your "friend" told you. Based on that, he's really not worth having around.

 

[JohnAn2112]

Originally posted by: ballmode
bros before hos

IMO, this rule doesn't apply once you're married. So what, you're saying that he should dump his WIFE since his friend is butt hurt?

 

[Miramonti]

As a rule, your friendship circle will change when you get married. Its not all their fault either.

Get used to it...it will probably happen again if you get divorced.

 

[Miramonti]

Originally posted by: StinkyPinky

****update below****

Just a quick update for anyone who read this thread previously. So here's a reply I got from one of my friends (a week later)

"Classy way to announce the news, puke face. Congrats! So pleased 2 kno that another refuse pile like u will be populating the planet. Sorry got to go. Need to find out a way to dump my b1tch of a girlfriend as she's fukd in the head. At least I've still got my friends to cheer me up"

So I called him but just get his voicemail. F*** him. That's it.

That's just wrong, regardless.

I'd send a message back, something to the sort, 'what crawled up your @ss and died, douchebag?'

 

[mugs]

Originally posted by: Cattlegod

Originally posted by: mugs

Originally posted by: StinkyPinky

****update below****

Just a quick update for anyone who read this thread previously. So here's a reply I got from one of my friends (a week later)

"Classy way to announce the news, puke face. Congrats! So pleased 2 kno that another refuse pile like u will be populating the planet. Sorry got to go. Need to find out a way to dump my b1tch of a girlfriend as she's fukd in the head. At least I've still got my friends to cheer me up"

So I called him but just get his voicemail. F*** him. That's it.

You must have unknowingly done something to really piss that guy off. Oh well.

What late 20s person talks like that?

it sounds like the guy was joking with him.

Could go either way, I guess I just interpreted it as serious because the OP did. Maybe his judgment is clouded. Calling was a good idea. I'd try calling a few more times, DON'T flip out on him right off the bat, and see how it goes.

 

[Izzo]

Originally posted by: Looney

Originally posted by: StinkyPinky
****update below****

Just a quick update for anyone who read this thread previously. So here's a reply I got from one of my friends (a week later)

"Classy way to announce the news, puke face. Congrats! So pleased 2 kno that another refuse pile like u will be populating the planet. Sorry got to go. Need to find out a way to dump my b1tch of a girlfriend as she's fukd in the head. At least I've still got my friends to cheer me up"

So I called him but just get his voicemail. F*** him. That's it.

Sounds like there's A LOT more to this that you're not telling, or you're just oblivious to it. If they were friends since you were 13, they must have been really good friends. Were they invited to the wedding? Did you steal the girl from one of them?

There's a reason why they're this upset with you... and you probably know why, and are just hoping ignoring it will make it go away.

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. What is this about: "Classy way to announce the news, puke face."

 

[RU482]

It's pretty normal to lose touch with people after going through a life changing event. (marriage, college, sex change, ect) Sure it sucks to lose friends, but alot of times single friends can cause a married guy ALOT of trouble and get them in situations that aren't in the best interest of a marriage

my $0.02