So I got married 15 months ago and now my two best friends ignore me

[Firebot]

Originally posted by: StinkyPinky
We used to hang out most weekends and were close friends, but ever since I got hitched, I never hear anything from then. It's also not from lack of trying on my part, I constantly text message them asking if they want to hang out somewhere. Usually they just don't reply.

What has really got me down however is that I sent them a text yesterday to let them know my wife is pregnant, and even then I got nothing. Not even a simple "congrats"!

I actually feel betrayed. It makes me wonder if they were ever really good friends at all

I've best friends with them since I was 13. (27 now)

Anyone else experience this?

They were friends with YOU. Not friends with you and your wife. What usually happens in this type of situation is that you unknowingly put the wife/GF ahead of your friends all the time, and when you do meet up with your friends, it often ends up being about your wife/GF. You expect the friendship to stay the same but to them, to maintain the friendship they have to accept you as a couple now, not just you. You're no longer the same guy they were originally friends with. It also sounds like they probably don't like your wife either.

Honestly it's a all part of making a life changing decision. There's nothing bad about it, you just made a decision and it does have some consequences. Just don't worry about it and meet up with some couples or married men that choose you as a couple.

 

[ArJuN]

haha, i just wrote a huge post here and deleted it since i realized it was more of a rant on my ex (maybe)-best friend and his ugly ass girlfriend. The thing is here, you can invite them over and shower them with gifts and ******, and they'll be happy. but the next time u say "i cant hang out because my SO and I are going out for dinner", they'll go back to not talking to you. If you guys do have that open communication, call them out on it and ask wtf is going on.

 

[buck]

Originally posted by: Oceandevi
Challenge them to a pit bull fight!

Over at Michael Vicks house.

 

[loup garou]

Maybe your wife sucks and you just don't realize it. Sorry.

 

[Gigantopithecus]

Originally posted by: ebaycj
They don't like your wife.

QFT.

 

[Platypus]

Originally posted by: Firebot

Originally posted by: StinkyPinky
We used to hang out most weekends and were close friends, but ever since I got hitched, I never hear anything from then. It's also not from lack of trying on my part, I constantly text message them asking if they want to hang out somewhere. Usually they just don't reply.

What has really got me down however is that I sent them a text yesterday to let them know my wife is pregnant, and even then I got nothing. Not even a simple "congrats"!

I actually feel betrayed. It makes me wonder if they were ever really good friends at all

I've best friends with them since I was 13. (27 now)

Anyone else experience this?

They were friends with YOU. Not friends with you and your wife. What usually happens in this type of situation is that you unknowingly put the wife/GF ahead of your friends all the time, and when you do meet up with your friends, it often ends up being about your wife/GF.

/thread

When my friends get married or get full time needy girlfriends I usually part ways with them because they are just completely oblivious to the fact that they're owned and controlled. Sure you try and keep your friendship going but it's impossible and eventually you just have to give up.

 

[moshquerade]

Seasons change
Feelings change

Seasons change
People change

 

[StinkyPinky]

Just a quick update for anyone who read this thread previously. So here's a reply I got from one of my friends (a week later)

"Classy way to announce the news, puke face. Congrats! So pleased 2 kno that another refuse pile like u will be populating the planet. Sorry got to go. Need to find out a way to dump my b1tch of a girlfriend as she's fukd in the head. At least I've still got my friends to cheer me up"

So I called him but just get his voicemail. F*** him. That's it.

 

[StinkyPinky]

Originally posted by: ArJuN
haha, i just wrote a huge post here and deleted it since i realized it was more of a rant on my ex (maybe)-best friend and his ugly ass girlfriend. The thing is here, you can invite them over and shower them with gifts and ******, and they'll be happy. but the next time u say "i cant hang out because my SO and I are going out for dinner", they'll go back to not talking to you. If you guys do have that open communication, call them out on it and ask wtf is going on.

Well, clearly going by the txt I just got (see above) at least one of them feels like I've been ignoring him. Even though I've been the one trying to organise everything and they ignore me. But that text is inexcusable, so f*** him. He can call me names if he likes, but calling my unborn child a "Refuse pile" crossed the line. If I ever see that prick he'll be getting that phone shoved up his @ss.

 

[KK]

You sound like that response surprised you. Certainly you knew what a douchebag this kid was prior to you getting married.

 

[bonkers325]

judging from his response, you're probably better off not staying in contact with him

anyone who would reply like that is clearly a jerkoff

 

[George P Burdell]

Originally posted by: StinkyPinky
Just a quick update for anyone who read this thread previously. So here's a reply I got from one of my friends (a week later)

"Classy way to announce the news, puke face. Congrats! So pleased 2 kno that another refuse pile like u will be populating the planet. Sorry got to go. Need to find out a way to dump my b1tch of a girlfriend as she's fukd in the head. At least I've still got my friends to cheer me up"

So I called him but just get his voicemail. F*** him. That's it.

It's a good thing that you're not friends with this guy anymore. COunt your blessings and move on

 

[Roguestar]

Sounds like he's a douchebag anyway. Call over to his house and kick him in the nuts and say "no, fvck YOU".

 

[jackace]

In my experience when ever a friend gets married things always change in our friendship. You married people don't realize it, but once you are married you don't spend much if any time with your old friends. Its not bad, its just how it happens. Especially if you guys were close when you were all single. Text msgs every once in awhile don't really mean much. If you really want to keep in touch with your best friends after marriage you need to do things together regularly otherwise people move on and the past becomes the past.

Your friends response shows he is pissed about more then just your GF taking up your time now. Maybe your GF did something to piss off your friends. It has happened before, GF is jealous of your best friends so she pisses them all off to run them off.

 

[tw1164]

He's just made that your GF/wife took you away from him.

 

[krunchykrome]

If they have a problem with you getting married and growing up, forget about them; they werent good friends.

 

[clamum]

Wow. Nice reply from him. Fsck that loser.

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Originally posted by: tw1164
He's just made that your GF/wife took you away from him.

QFT. He's just upset that he won't get to share a workout, romp around a crowded room while the music goes
BOOMtssBOOMtssBOOMtssBOOMtssBOOMtss
followed by a session of sweaty man-love and a shower after the match.



- M4H

 

[Looney]

Originally posted by: StinkyPinky
We used to hang out most weekends and were close friends, but ever since I got hitched, I never hear anything from then. It's also not from lack of trying on my part, I constantly text message them asking if they want to hang out somewhere. Usually they just don't reply.

What has really got me down however is that I sent them a text yesterday to let them know my wife is pregnant, and even then I got nothing. Not even a simple "congrats"!

I actually feel betrayed. It makes me wonder if they were ever really good friends at all

I've best friends with them since I was 13. (27 now)

Anyone else experience this?

****update below****

Just a quick update for anyone who read this thread previously. So here's a reply I got from one of my friends (a week later)

"Classy way to announce the news, puke face. Congrats! So pleased 2 kno that another refuse pile like u will be populating the planet. Sorry got to go. Need to find out a way to dump my b1tch of a girlfriend as she's fukd in the head. At least I've still got my friends to cheer me up"

So I called him but just get his voicemail. F*** him. That's it.

Sounds like there's A LOT more to this that you're not telling, or you're just oblivious to it. If they were friends since you were 13, they must have been really good friends. Were they invited to the wedding? Did you steal the girl from one of them?

There's a reason why they're this upset with you... and you probably know why, and are just hoping ignoring it will make it go away.

 

[Ranger X]

Maybe your buddies wanted a piece of your now-wife before you got hitched and now that you're married, they've given up on her ... and you.

Usually guys will stop being a girl's 'friend' after she starts going out with another guy because of this reason but that's strange that your buddies will act this way.

 

[child of wonder]

They weren't real friends to begin with. F them.

4 year ago I did a housecleaning with all my "friends." I was about to get married, had one child, and another on the way. My friends would never call me anymore except when they wanted something. One time I even hung out with a buddy of mine and he ditched me to go hang out with someone else.

I sent them all an email telling them I didn't feel like they were really my friends and that I was just a source of entertainment for them, not a real friend. Then I said I never want to hear from any of them again and attempting to argue with me about it would only confirm my suspicions as they would rather defend themselves than be a friend and try to understand where I'm coming from.

A few people responded and got all pissy. I ignored them. Only one out of 8 actually wrote me back and apologized.

You're married and have a baby on the way. Time to dump all these "friends" that use you as a source of entertainment and focus on what's really important. You'll find other adults to spend time with eventually.

 

[CptObvious]

Yeah it sounds like your friends are immature and can't accept that you have family responsibilities now. Time to move on and meet new people. (Hopefully it won't be limited to Tupperware parties and baby showers)

 

[ggnl]

You can't really blame the friends. It's simply a fact that as a single guy it sucks to hang out with most couples. More often than not, you end up getting ignored or having to watch them argue or doing stupid sh*t to keep HER entertained. It's just not worth it so I don't even try to do it unless there will be other people around to share the punishment.

 

[j00fek]

happened to me and a couple of my friends, people have to realize that when you get married you have different lives now and you deal with it and move on from there

 

[meltdown75]

I've been married for almost 4 years. I used to get calls quite a bit. Calls to golf, calls to drink & party, calls to just frickin hang out.

I don't even need a phone anymore. I don't exist.

/self

not one of my friends called to offer condolences when my Pep passed away last Friday. not a call, not a card, not a show at the funeral... nothin.

just a kick in the pills. that's all i get!

well... i am golfin with friends this afternoon... so... it's not all doom & gloom

but it's hella different man. i feel yo pain dawg!