So I raised my voice, borderline yelled at, neighbor kid. Am I wrong?

[child of wonder]

I don't think you did anything wrong. Dad1 needs to tell his kid to follow your rules no matter what if he expects to play on your property. That's all their is to it.

 

[Golgatha]

You are not wrong...the message has to come through somehow. If this sort of thing isn't nipped in the bud the kid will be a nightmare in his teens.

That's my thought on the matter exactly. However, I don't want to be so overly authoritative that my sons can't have friends over or that their friends don't want to come over. On the other hand, my next door neighbor and I (kid2's parents) have a good relationship and kid2 would most likely have complied on the first request because he knows I won't put up with anything less and his parents back me up if there is a disagreement between kid2 and myself. At this point, having been neighbors with kid2 for around 2 years now, I'd say he listens to me as well as his own parents. He might listen better if I had authorization to deal out corporal punishments . I sure as hell listened to my Uncles when I stayed over at my cousin's houses because my dad gave them absolute authority over me, and they used it when necessary. Same thing with my grandparents.

 

[Schfifty Five]

Your house, your rules. Kids need to learn to respect the adults.

However, I would have talked to both kids first, made them apologize to each other, and if they behaved, let them keep playing. If they don't apologize, then they would have to leave.

If a second outbreak occurred, then that is when I'd tell one or both kids to leave.

 

[NoCreativity]

You have every right to send kid#1 home. If he doesn't respond to you the first two requests, raising your voice is ok IMO.

If the kids dad doesn't like it, let him know he's welcome to come assist supervising the 8 year olds...

This.

 

[wirednuts]

heh.. if my kid did something wrong (like getting in a fight) then proceed to back talk to an adult, and i wasnt there, i would HOPE some other dad would scream at him and drag him back to my house by his shirt. from there, i would privately thank that dad for taking care of shit and i would then proceed to talk to my son and let him explain to me what happened. then, if i think that other dad was out of line i would simply explain to my son that he has to do what adults tell him, until he is 18.

 

[Juddog]

OP you were in the right 100%. Parents are way too sensitive these days, which is why we're developing a whole new generation of bad people.

 

[BTA]

You were fine. It's your house, you can yell at anyone you want. Fuck that kid and his pussy father.

 

[IAteYourMother]

Eh, you probably would've been better off letting kid #1 explain himself, and then tell him that his behavior was still unacceptable and sent him off.

 

[God Mode]

The only time I got yelled by a stranger was when a bunch of grocery employees were horsing around and threw a wet rag at my head. I threw it back and got the fatass manager in the face. Besides that, my parents raised me well enough to respect people and property.

 

[JTsyo]

My only regret was not specifically suggesting this exact thing. He did ask me if I yelled at the other boy too though, and I told him no, his mom pulled him inside immediately and I didn't have to deal with him. Hopefully he got the message.

good. If the kid makes trouble again, he should let the daad know he would have to be present for his kid to play in your yard.

 

[vi edit]

I'm not the least bit shy about disciplining/calling out other people's kids. There's too many passive, oblivious, or just downright terrible parents that let their kids be terrorizing little shitheads.

It's always entertaining to see the kids reactions when some stranger calls them out on their crap. Somebody needs to teach them some manners and discipline in the parents absence.

I've taken my daughter to some indoor playgrounds where's there all ages of kids running around. It has some really tall inflatable slides that you have to climb up to the top of (like 20 feet high) and then you slide down the inflatable ramp. My daughter was three and climbing up and a bunch of 8 year old girls nearly trampled her trying to climb up over the top of her. I was on the steps helping my daughter and stepped in front of them. I told them that this was a slide for everyone and they needed to patiently wait their turn. The pure look of shock that they were told "Don't do that" by a complete stranger was entertaining.

That whole "it takes a villiage" thing applies. I call kids out on their crap and expect others to do the same to my kids if they are acting up.

 

[ReggieDunlap]

I ask the OP: After the 1rst time you told kid1 to leave and he started to explain why he thought he shouldnt have to leave, did you let him finish? Did you interrupt him and explain why you don't need to hear his explanation as you saw everything and you decided he should go home?

I think if you said go, and stated why he had to leave but still would not, then you're good.

 

[Fritzo]

I didn't read all of the posts. So, did the kids end up getting off of the OP's lawn?

 

[SirStev0]

Meh. Some people get their panties in a bunch over nothing.
We had 4 or 5 people in our neighborhood who were ones to chew you out if they caught you doing something you weren't supposed to... and at least 2 that we know were actively snooping and looking to scream bloody hell at you.

The one was the old lady who lived right next door to me.

Just made it more fun trying not to get caught.

 

[wirednuts]

That whole "it takes a villiage" thing applies. I call kids out on their crap and expect others to do the same to my kids if they are acting up.

thank you. if everyone was like this the world would be a lot less shitty

 

[SaDiZTiKStyLeZ]

You should have shot him on site. You don't want stupid to grow up to breed more stupid.

 

[wirednuts]

You should have shot him on site. You don't want stupid to grow up to breed more stupid.

hahaha thats true too. funny and true

 

[Perknose]

My only regret was not specifically suggesting this exact thing. He did ask me if I yelled at the other boy too though, and I told him no, his mom pulled him inside immediately and I didn't have to deal with him. Hopefully he got the message.

If you are interested in expending a little time and energy for the best possible outcome, then go to the neighbor Dad and have a calm, additional talk with him. Maybe even include his son at the end, so his son knows his Dad knows exactly what happened and why, with you there to make sure there's no more, "he said, he said."

Worst case scenario is that you realize this Dad is useless and can't be made to see things your (reasonable) way. But there's a good chance that the whole situation gets much better cleared up so that there's no lingering resentments based on incomplete info.

Remember, at this point all the other Dad heard was his son's side of the story . . . and possibly you yelling.

 

[Mr. Lennon]

Yelling to get your point across shows a lack of communication skills. Do you yell at your coworkers/subordinates too?

 

[Perknose]

You should have shot him on site [sic]. You don't want stupid to grow up to breed more stupid.

The unintentional irony is strong with this one. :awe:

 

[Ryland]

I think you handled it better than I would have. I will repeat myself once at normal volume than immediately kick it up to full bore after that. I dont tolerate "stupid" very well or children not listening and usually only have to yell once.

 

[vi edit]

Yelling to get your point across shows a lack of communication skills. Do you yell at your coworkers/subordinates too?

Do you have kids?

Normal volume: Kid, please stop doing that.
*blank stare*

Normal volume again: Kid, please stop doing that, it isn't nice.
*blank stare*

YELLING: STOP DOING THAT!
*kid stops doing that*

 

[ElFenix]

you're in the wrong because you didn't use the magic words

"GET OFF MY LAWN"

 

[ChAoTiCpInOy]

If you spanked your child, would you spank a kid who was over at your house and was doing something that you would spank your child for? What if the father of the kid was there?

 

[bfdd]

When I was a kid a neighbor lady yelled at me. Another kid attacked me so I beat him up. Since I won the lady yelled at me. So I called her a bitch and told her to mind her own business. Turns out that adults talk to each other and have phones and shit so by the time I walked the two hundred yards home my parents will well aware of the situation from the bitch's perspective.

Something similar happened to me at a friends house. Except the wise and beautiful woman next door didn't realize my buddies mom was at the window of the kitchen the whole time watching and listening so when she went off trying to lie about what happened, my friends mom had my back.