So I watched Bram Stoker's Dracula last night....

NaOH

Diamond Member
Mar 2, 2006
5,015
0
0
Time has not been kind to that movie. I've always enjoyed movies from any decade, so I thought that it being a horror movie that had "depth", it would blow me away (also, because the guy that did Godfather did this movie as well). For starters, the specials effects were a big turn off. Like some of the way the weather effects were done and when one of the gypsies fell off the cliff, you KNEW it was done by using a blue screen because who the fuck falls like that. Another thing is the way it was shot. I know the original book used a bunch of compiled diary entries, but a lot of times during the movie, it would cut in and out unexpectedly without me knowing WTF just happened. I was still able to follow the movie but it just seemed like it was hasitly pieced together, I couldn't care less about any of the characters. While we're on that topic, Keanu Reeves is FUCKING terrible in this. Just having him be the guy that gets to meet Dracula first killed the experience for me. I think if they had switched his role with the guy that did Princes Diaries, it would have made that first introduction to the Count WAYYY BETTER!

Things I did like about the movie was Gary Oldman, Dracula costumes and effects, overall story line, and Van Helsing played by Anthony Hopkins.




Oh yeah, and vampire sluts that showed their boobies.
 

CKent

Diamond Member
Aug 17, 2005
9,020
0
0
In recent memory I've only found 2 films so bad I couldn't finish watching them. Talladega Nights was one, and this was the other.
 

Queasy

Moderator<br>Console Gaming
Aug 24, 2001
31,796
2
0
I've found anything with Keanu Reeves trying to do an accent is bad.
 

NaOH

Diamond Member
Mar 2, 2006
5,015
0
0
I remember this movie getting a lot of acclaim when it first came out when i was 7. Boy, was I in for a shocker when Keanu Reeves got introduced and was supposed to be from London........goddamn man. Seriously, all I can say is GODDAMN.... It's like the director handpicked all these good stars at the time you know? Winona Ryder, Anthony Hopkins, Princes Diaries guy, Gary Oldman,......and then BAM Keanu "FUCKING I HAVE DOWNS AND CAN ONLY REMEMBER 3 WORD LINES WRITTEN WITH NO PUNCTUATION MARKS Reeves.
 

Queasy

Moderator<br>Console Gaming
Aug 24, 2001
31,796
2
0
Originally posted by: meltdown75
meh, i liked it

Yeah it was alright. Anthony Hopkins, Gary Oldman, Winona Ryder and the Vampire boobies made it worth watching. Reeves was a drag though.
 

Feanor727

Senior member
Sep 17, 2001
412
0
0
Yes really. Keanu Reeves was in the movie, not Christopher Reeves.

Therefore, the aforementioned K Reeves couldn't have been that much of a drag...
 

BigJ

Lifer
Nov 18, 2001
21,335
1
81
Originally posted by: Feanor727
Yes really. Keanu Reeves was in the movie, not Christopher Reeves.

Therefore, the aforementioned K Reeves couldn't have been that much of a drag...

You're on a roll eh?
 

Vehemence

Banned
Jan 25, 2008
5,947
0
0
Originally posted by: BigJ
Originally posted by: Feanor727
Yes really. Keanu Reeves was in the movie, not Christopher Reeves.

Therefore, the aforementioned K Reeves couldn't have been that much of a drag...

You're on a roll eh?

You're killin me here!
 

BigJ

Lifer
Nov 18, 2001
21,335
1
81
Originally posted by: dNor
Originally posted by: BigJ
Originally posted by: Feanor727
Yes really. Keanu Reeves was in the movie, not Christopher Reeves.

Therefore, the aforementioned K Reeves couldn't have been that much of a drag...

You're on a roll eh?

You're killin me here!

Quit horsing around!
 

torpid

Lifer
Sep 14, 2003
11,631
11
76
Wasn't Monica Belluci one of the coven vampires that tried to seduce Keanu Reeves?
 

NaOH

Diamond Member
Mar 2, 2006
5,015
0
0
Originally posted by: torpid
Wasn't Monica Belluci one of the coven vampires that tried to seduce Keanu Reeves?

IDK, but one of them had Angelina Jolie lips which were all yum as you suckled Reeves.
 

Vic

Elite Member
Jun 12, 2001
50,415
14,307
136
Originally posted by: NaOH
I remember this movie getting a lot of acclaim when it first came out when i was 7. Boy, was I in for a shocker when Keanu Reeves got introduced and was supposed to be from London........goddamn man. Seriously, all I can say is GODDAMN.... It's like the director handpicked all these good stars at the time you know? Winona Ryder, Anthony Hopkins, Princes Diaries guy, Gary Oldman,......and then BAM Keanu "FUCKING I HAVE DOWNS AND CAN ONLY REMEMBER 3 WORD LINES WRITTEN WITH NO PUNCTUATION MARKS Reeves.

That's nothing. The absolute worst Keanu miscasting was in Kenneth Branagh's film version of Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing. It has an ensemble cast of classically-trained award-winning actors putting on mostly brilliant performances.... and then Keanu.
 

nakedfrog

No Lifer
Apr 3, 2001
58,570
12,873
136
Originally posted by: Vic
Originally posted by: NaOH
I remember this movie getting a lot of acclaim when it first came out when i was 7. Boy, was I in for a shocker when Keanu Reeves got introduced and was supposed to be from London........goddamn man. Seriously, all I can say is GODDAMN.... It's like the director handpicked all these good stars at the time you know? Winona Ryder, Anthony Hopkins, Princes Diaries guy, Gary Oldman,......and then BAM Keanu "FUCKING I HAVE DOWNS AND CAN ONLY REMEMBER 3 WORD LINES WRITTEN WITH NO PUNCTUATION MARKS Reeves.

That's nothing. The absolute worst Keanu miscasting was in Kenneth Branagh's film version of Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing. It has an ensemble cast of classically-trained award-winning actors putting on mostly brilliant performances.... and then Keanu.

So you're saying he really IS the son of the devil?
 

sdifox

No Lifer
Sep 30, 2005
96,210
15,787
126
Originally posted by: Vic
Originally posted by: NaOH
I remember this movie getting a lot of acclaim when it first came out when i was 7. Boy, was I in for a shocker when Keanu Reeves got introduced and was supposed to be from London........goddamn man. Seriously, all I can say is GODDAMN.... It's like the director handpicked all these good stars at the time you know? Winona Ryder, Anthony Hopkins, Princes Diaries guy, Gary Oldman,......and then BAM Keanu "FUCKING I HAVE DOWNS AND CAN ONLY REMEMBER 3 WORD LINES WRITTEN WITH NO PUNCTUATION MARKS Reeves.

That's nothing. The absolute worst Keanu miscasting was in Kenneth Branagh's film version of Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing. It has an ensemble cast of classically-trained award-winning actors putting on mostly brilliant performances.... and then Keanu.

Don't ever bring this up again. I am trying to forget it.
 
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