So I went on my first date ever tonight..... (long story, need advice)

[Angrymarshmello]

Ok can I get some input from you guys as to if there is a possibility at all in the future of an "us"? The whole thing is impt (there are a few key things I thought that signaled a "yes theres a chance" and "no go to hell u bastard&quot Here goes:

Every Friday night a bunch of us @ OMX get together and go out to eat and just hang out, talk the bull, make fun of stuff, etc... One of the girls who works with us (Jeannie) decides to bring her friend along, who she said was "hot". Everyone knows I'm as shy as a person can get, so they've been trying to "hook me up" so to speak with waitresses we meet and such. Everyone is like "we'll try to hook you up with this girl Jeannie is bringing". So this girl who Jeannie is bringing (Michelle) shows up early and talks with Jeannie. Everyone who looks at her said "gawd damn!" the first time they saw her because she is like....perfect. She hardly wears makeup and is just drop dead gorgeous, plus she has a great body. In my mind she is perfect.....but anyway, she works right next to us, and we get out before she does. We end up all exchanging greetings in the parking lot, then go to TGIF Fridays. (Everyone is still trying to hook me up so to speak with her, including Jeannie) So we end up going there, it just happens to work out (with some help) that she ends up sitting next to me. Being shy, I don't really know what to say to her, so I just try to wing it and ask her stuff about herself. (Like everyone told me to do) Another guy asks her a bunch of personal stuff about her, so I can get a feel of what she's like, what she likes, etc. I think Jeannie told her I liked Michelle because she sort of picks me out of the bunch to ask questions to, etc. I basically come off ending up as being this shy guy who everyone picks on. As she's leaving she whispers in my ear "don't let these guys get to you" and says bye to me. (And then everyone else) Everyone thinks she said something like "hey call me up" even though I repeatedly told them the truth. THey all want me to go and talk to her tomorrow after I get off of work to try to get her number.

Today rolls around, I convince myself to ask her out or ask her for her number. Some of the guys advise me not to so soon, because it'll look desperate on my part, so I'm sorta pondering the thought. Then at around 2 or so, Jeannie comes in and she pulls me aside, tells me she asked Michelle what she thought of me, and Jeannie said Michelle thought I was "cute, adorable, and sweet". (In those exact words) It blew my mind because here she was, the hottest chick I've ever talked to (or laid eyes on) saying I was cute and adorable. So I make up my mind to go talk to her and after work I stop by where she works. (Party City) We meet, we talk about work and stuff, i ask her if she wants to go grab some coffee, she says she's busy, but she gives me her number and asks me to call her later and see what shes doing. I go back to work (end up working a full 12 hour shift, this all on 1 hour of sleep last night (running on fumes now)) and call her up once I get off of work. She says she'll blow off a friend's recital gathering to go out...she says lets go grab something to eat and we agree to meet. {20 minutes later} we meet, end up going to Bennigans. I forget to open the car door for her (stupid me) but I don't think she noticed. (maybe she did I donno) Ok so we're there, she knows I'm quiet and stuff so she trys to make me talk. I think I did a good job in my "shy state" so to speak of talking, although there was the occasional awkward silence. (She always came up with something to ask or talk about so it wasnt like minute long silences) We talk about everything from music to school to personal life to family.....etc etc......after we're done eating we spend 20 minutes just talking there. I end up paying for the bill and shes like "well we need to go out and eat again since I owe you one". We leave, we end at the parking lot where she parked her car. We talk a little bit, then she goes to her car without shaking my hand or a hug (maybe I'm expecting too much, I don't know, I'm just inexperienced at this) but she asks me to call her, and I sort of bring up the subject of when she usually eats lunch (I guess I meant to imply that we should grab some grub tomorrow) but she doesnt say "yea lets meet" or anything. We drive off....and here I am typing this up.

My question to you all is, whats your take on this? I'm definetly going to see if she wants to do lunch tomorrow, and I know shes pretty busy with school and work, but should I try to make something happen, or will I be trying to make something happen that just isn't there? (BTW, I appreciate anyone who reads the whole damn thing and responds)

 

[RossMAN]

Just curious OMX = OfficeMax?

 

[IcemanJer]

My gut feeling tells me you have a chance. But do heed your friends' advice about "not so soon" (although don't believe it like the sacred text) and appearing to be "desparate".

Good luck!

 

[Bluga]

Great, you are now in heaven while i'm in hell. :|:|

 

[Pretender]

It's too hard to analyze a girl's every move. Just do your best and hope she doesn't end up filing a restraining order.

 

[abc]

It's trojan time.

 

[tomcat]

Raging, it sounds good. I think you have a good chance.. don't worry too much, everyone knows everyone worries, so its not a big issue, also people start up relationships all the time. I'm sure that this girl has an idea of what she's doing since guys hit on pretty girls . Anyways go for it, don't worry and dont think too far into the future. Things work out all by themselves, just do what you feel you should, or in most cases want to. It sounds like you're a nice guy and she's sweet.

 

[tim0thy]

wow, you really are shy aren't you? don't worry, i used to be like that. i usually just talk to the girl and make some spontaneous jokes, mixed in with some personal questions, and what not. whatever comes natural.

+: she wants to do this again
she tells you to call her again

-: no hug?? (might be the person, can't say)

just get to know her. no expectations.

 

[kaiotes]

`u definitely have a shot at her since she blew off a friend she was supposed to meet and go out w/ u and says she wants to meet again.
just takes things one step at a time, don't rush things and u'll be fine
me shy guy too but ur situation looks good to me!

 

[tim0thy]

<< I'm sure that this girl has an idea of what she's doing since guys hit on pretty girls >>



yeah, that's another plus! it's might also be a change of pace for her to have a nice shy guy since most other guys are too fierce. your weakness might not be too bad haha

 

[gnognugs]

I read the whole damn thing and here's my reply.
It sounds to me like she likes you.
I think she wants you to call her.
I think you should NOT initiate contact with her tomorrow at school.
Wait until after. Suspense works both ways.
Antici pation makes some things better (not necessarily spelling).
It's only a few hours.

When you do talk to her, just talk about ordinary stuff. Whatever interests you. Asking her questions is a gret way to keep a conversation going, and if she really interests you, you will be anyway.

Good luck

 

[IcemanJer]

<< just get to know her. no expectations. >>

I second that. No expectation, no disappointments (maybe a bit too late to be suggesting this to you, but definitely get to know her better).

 

[RossMAN]

Just follow your heart and whatever you do, listen, listen, listen and show her respect.

Hopefully everything else will fall into place. Best of luck!

 

[silhoutte]

It seems like you're in pretty good shape. She did ask you to call her again, and that's a huge sign.

positive signs:
* she whispers in your ear
* gives u her number
* blows of a recital to see you
* asks you to call her again!

oh boy, just take it a little easy and be honest and I think you'll do just fine. Good luck. Remember, people don't remember what you said but how you made them feel.

 

[carmann]

From a woman's point of view, here's my take...

First off, you better start talking more. The shy guy is always cute at first but it gets old real quick.

Don't listen to that bs about seeming &quot;desperate&quot;. Women like attention but not to the point that it feels like they're being stalked.

Asking her to go to lunch is cool but DON'T let her pay! I would be offended if someone was slightly interested in me, and even though I said I owe you one, let me pay for the bill. If she still insists on paying the bill, at least make an effort to pay. Don't just say okay.

Oh, and don't forget the doors (car, buildings, etc) next time. It's a small gesture but makes a big impact.

As for whether you have a chance, who could say for sure. Just relax, be yourself and open up alittle.

 

[DAM]

ok, i ready your post and i didnt read anyone else's responce, so i hope i dont repeat:



1. take it slow, dont jump the gun too soon and dont ask her to see her every freaking day, even two days in a row is too much IMHO.


2. get the casual thing going, relax around here, but dont lose that sweet, cute side that she is attracted to.

3. be forward and direct, &quot;so when do you usually have lunch?&quot; NO! replace that with, &quot;hey, im gonna go to such and such place tomorrow at 12, you want to join me?&quot;


hmmm, ill think of more later, i need to grab a beer.



dam()

 

[Angrymarshmello]

Ross - yes, OMX = OfficeMax

tim - yes, I'm really shy. sucks too Thanks for the nfo though...

So basically from the nfo everyone is saying, just take it one step at a time? If it doesn't work out theres always other fish in the sea right? And I was pondering about the hug/handshake thing. I think if I drove her and walked her back to her place I might have gotten one or the other, but dropping a girl off in the parking lot was probably a lil bit informal.

 

[Angrymarshmello]

car - I opened the door at the restaurant and the door to the car when we left...I hope I somewhat made up for it. I'll try opening up more. And I won't let her pay

 

[urameatball]

she knows what she's doing... now you smarten up and figure out what you're doing!!!

btw, she already likes you, so as long as you don't do anything to make her hate you, you're SET!

 

[tim0thy]

<< I might have gotten one or the other, but dropping a girl off in the parking lot was probably a lil bit informal. >>



very informal, women/girls love guys who still practice the age old arts of chivalry. knowledge of this art has been lost a long time ago in today's youths.

carmann and damn has good advice too. and i agree with carmann, at least make an effort in trying to talk to her more. it does get old quickly. i broke out of my shy mode because i was pretty much in the same shoes as you were, seeing this beautiful girl, but i was mostly always quiet. she would conjure up conversation all the time and well, that's not good. just some food for thought.

be yourself, you'll do fine. she's already giving you a chance.

 

[yobarman]

Ok first off I thought you were a chick when I saw your nick[ragingbitch] and your icon. But then I read the story and you go out with a girl. So you're either a guy or a lesbian. heh.

Anyway, my take is, don't try to be mr. nice ALL of the time. You gotta relax. If she's hot then it's a given she's been out before, so you've got to treat her better than all of the other guys out there who just used her as a peice of ass. But don't be too perfect tho, 'forget' to call her every once in a while. Girls like bad guys, and they want nice guys to settle down with. I don't know it's kind of hard to explain. It has to be balanced.

But don't become too open where you begin to hit on other chicks. There's a balance here also. Just open up enough where you're not a boring freak anymore, but you're someone interesting to talk too. But don't be so loud and obnoxious that she thinks you're an asshole. Gotme? good.

Good luck on that piece of ais

 

[bigrash]

i think you got a good chance there. just take it easy though and see where everything leeds.

 

[Champo41]

Okay, from reading your post, she seems interested, but...

Usually when a girl says &quot;cute&quot; or &quot;sweet&quot;, she takes the 'let's be friends' approach. That's what I would suspect had she not blown off someone's recital.

First off, what did you talk about during the date? If she was always the one asking the questions, there won't be many more dates. You are the one that needs/has to ask the questions about her. She should be the one talking 90-95% of the time.

Her not showing any gratitude (hugging, or shaking), which you do deserve since you paid for her lunch (I'd accept a simple thank you, did she do that?) was sort of rude.

Wait almost a week to call her back and set up a date, this creates interest on her part. Despite the shyness, she'll be asking herself if it was her that was doing something wrong, since you're waiting so long.

I'm going to go against the others and tell you not to pay for her dinner. It's kind of hard now, but go with the &quot;I don't give a fsck&quot; attitude, playing hard to get. Coffee dates are a whole lot easier since you really don't have to split the bill, that's why I save restaurants for later dates. On a coffee date, you can arrive early and go ahead and sit down with your drink. I'd definitely take her advice and make her pay (even though it sounds harsh) for the next date, but offer some money for a tip or something.

So remember, wait a few days to call, don't rush into her workplace wanting another date, that sounds deperate.

Take it slow and this could develop into a relationship.

 

[snut]

bauhauhauaha abc trajon man!

 

[ThisIsMatt]

I don't know what my take is with the whole who pays for what thing. I just know it really sucks being a poor teenager and trying to do stuff with gf &amp; regular friends. Next time you see her just slap her on the butt and say &quot;what's up baby&quot; j/k Actually though, try stepping back until this friday or something and ask her to a good movie maybe, or a walk on the beach (or something like that). If you're too unsure or think that's too personal, try to get your friend (the one that's friends with this girl) to invite both of you to do something, so just you three...then at least you won't have to be 50/50 in conversation or whatever...