So im at my first OBGYN appointment

[ichy]

Part of me can't help but wonder if the fiance planned this "surprise" to make sure he didn't back out of the wedding plans.

 

[waggy]

With my fiance after finding out im going to be a father last week and even tho im in my 30s im still Alittle overwhelmed with so many different thoughts. Am I going to be a good father, am I going to be able to handle this for the next 18 years and be a good provider. I never imagined it would be this strenuous haha.

only 18 years eh? bhwhwhwhw

good luck..sounds like you might need it.

 

[Don Karnage]

Part of me can't help but wonder if the fiance planned this "surprise" to make sure he didn't back out of the wedding plans.

No we've actually been trying for months now but just incase i have maury's number in my phone if i have doubts in 9 months.

 

[ichy]

You were trying to have a kid with someone you weren't married to?

 

[dank69]

That's one set of emotions. The other one hard to describe is when your wife/babymamma and baby are getting wheeled out of the hospital, putting the munchkin in the car seat and driving home the first time. Then getting home and realizing...I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT TO DO WITH THIS THING!!!!!!!!!!!

First one is a lifechanger. Our second one has been like 1/10th the anxiety and drama of the first.

Yeah, that first day home was pretty surreal.

 

[ichy]

Remember this song:

First comes love,
Then comes marriage,
Then comes a baby in a baby carriage.

Notice how baby comes AFTER marriage

 

[dank69]

you got a child on the way. im thinking if you are serious about marriage you move the date up to like next month.

What year is this?

 

[vi edit]

You were trying to have a kid with someone you weren't married to?

Not uncommon at all for people in their 30's. Lots of times it's after a divorce/ long term relationship with their prior spouse/SO not wanting kids.

 

[Don Karnage]

You were trying to have a kid with someone you weren't married to?

Only thing different between her and i now and when were married is a piece of paper with our names on it.

 

[PlasmaBomb]

By "shotgun wedding" you mean her dad pointing a shotgun at Don while asking if he is going to make an honest woman of her and marry her right?

That is what a shotgun marriage generally refers to...

 

[waggy]

Yeah, that first day home was pretty surreal.

fuck that. driving home from the hospital was. At the time i lived 3 blocks from the hospital. a 5 minute drive. that 5 minutes was terrifying.

then that first week? oh shit. stress was out of this world.

 

[ichy]

Only thing different between her and i now and when were married is a piece of paper with our names on it.

Well that and the fact that a kid that's born after you're married won't be illegitimate.

 

[dank69]

Well that and the fact that a kid that's born after you're married won't be illegitimate.

Illegitimate to who? Dinosaurs?

 

[dank69]

fuck that. driving home from the hospital was. At the time i lived 3 blocks from the hospital. a 5 minute drive. that 5 minutes was terrifying.

then that first week? oh shit. stress was out of this world.

30 minute ride for us, but it wasn't terrifying to me for some reason. That first week was a doozy though.

 

[slsmnaz]

Only thing different between her and i now and when were married is a piece of paper with our names on it.

that's not entirely true but good luck anyway. It should be fun

 

[ichy]

Illegitimate to who? Dinosaurs?

Some social norms actually exist for a reason.

I'm mostly just trolling the OP. It sounds like he & his woman are committed to each other and established in life so they'll be fine, but in general I think the disappearance of any kind of stigma associated with out of wedlock pregnancy has been a very bad thing for our society.

As for marriage being just a piece of paper there's a reason that gay people have put so much money and energy into winning the right to get married. It provides some very real and substantive benefits and protections if you're having a kid, buying a house together, etc.

 

[sixone]

Illegitimate to who? Dinosaurs?

To their kid, fourteen years or so from now, when the hormones start kicking in.

 

[dank69]

Some social norms actually exist for a reason.

...

The same people who criticize children out of wedlock also criticize babies < 9 months after marriage. Just sayin.

 

[dank69]

To their kid, fourteen years or so from now, when the hormones start kicking in.

The kid will be illegitimate to itself? :hmm:
I'm guessing that in 14 years 'marriage' will be a legal term only for a majority of people.

 

[WT]

good luck! the questions and self doubt never stop. i have 3 kids between 7 down to 10 months old. it gets easier and more difficult with time. every day is a new challenge. and 1 kid is a piece of cake. i almost envy my friends with one kid. almost.

Quoted for this mans wisdom. :thumbsup:

 

[Apple Of Sodom]

I remember having those exact same thoughts. Young father, didn't know what I was doing or how to do it. It really all comes together once the baby is born. It is the best thing I've ever done in my life. I love my kids and they really make life worth living. I feel sorry for all of those poor bastards who cannot get laid/married and have convinced themselves that having kids would be terrible. Reminds me of The Fox and the Grapes.

Anyhow, congratulations. It is definitely worth every minute of it. As they grow older you will enjoy it even more.

 

[blankslate]

Only thing different between her and i now and when were married is a piece of paper with our names on it.

Don't forget the better tax breaks

 

[MichaelD]

the second you hear YOUR baby cry for the first time you know this shit is real and your life just changed forever.

This. And...when you come home from the hospital and you have all these people and family and friends with you and they walk you to your door and you open the door and they all say goodbye and walk away...and you've still got the baby in your hands and you're like "Um..wait...THIS is staying? What am I supposed to with...oh shit."

That's what it was like for me.

 

[blackdogdeek]

30 minute ride for us, but it wasn't terrifying to me for some reason. That first week was a doozy though.

first week? that first month i was at babies r us at least 10 times frantically buying things we thought we absolutely needed.

with the second kid we knew better and just let her fend for herself.

congrats, OP!

 

[Hugo Drax]

Dont get married, she can get WIC and food stamps as a single mom.