Originally posted by: jonks
Originally posted by: Zenmervolt
Originally posted by: jonks
No offense, but we only have your side of the story. For all we know, you threw the kid in the car, rolled the windows down a little and told the little snot to "sweat the devil" out of her. If the cops showed up 20 minutes after you put the kid in the car and you were still there yelling at her, well, that's a long time to be "reprimanding."
Because walking away and leaving the child unattended in the car would have been a much better idea. :roll:
He wasn't "still yelling at her", he was letting her have her tantrum in a safe place that didn't interfere with other people's ability to enjoy the pool while staying nearby to make sure nothing happened to her.
Well I'm glad you were there to confirm his story. All I said was we're taking him at his word, and looking at the vitriol aimed at the tattler we're assuming it wasn't warranted.
What if someone posted the following:
I was at a pool this weekend and saw some guy go apeshit on his 3 year old. He hauled her out of the pool by her arm, carried her dangling by the arm to his car where he put her in the backseat and rolled down the windows a couple inches (it was 90 and sunny out) and told her to think about what she'd done. He then stood outside the car yelling at her through the window for 10 minutes. I would have said something about how the interior of the car could get into the 100s but the guy was standing there yelling at a 3 year old baking inside a car. Someone actually called the cops just to make sure the kid didn't die.
****************
Based solely on the OP it seems no police involvement was warranted, but people often aren't the best observers of their own behavior especially when frustrated, nor are they necessarily perfectly honest when posting in internet forums. So to wish death and destruction upon someone who honestly felt a 3 year old was in some danger, took a precaution by calling the police just to be safe, with the worst case scenario being nothing illegal was going on and the cops would take a peek and let the guy go, vs taking the risk that the kid dies and no one does anything or reports it to anyone when it could have been prevented, seems like going a little overboard to me.
When someone goes into a lawyers office and starts telling their story, the lawyer has to be skeptical and can't accept every word they say as the god's honest. People have a tendency to paint themselves in the best light, so take that into consideration before deciding who was in the right when you've only heard one person's version of the story.
Every story has 3 sides: mine, yours, and the truth.
Originally posted by: Oceandevi
Thats why I dug my own punishment pit under the house. Not quite a basement, but who needs dry floors and light when your in trouble?
Originally posted by: jonks
Originally posted by: Zenmervolt
Originally posted by: jonks
No offense, but we only have your side of the story. For all we know, you threw the kid in the car, rolled the windows down a little and told the little snot to "sweat the devil" out of her. If the cops showed up 20 minutes after you put the kid in the car and you were still there yelling at her, well, that's a long time to be "reprimanding."
Because walking away and leaving the child unattended in the car would have been a much better idea. :roll:
He wasn't "still yelling at her", he was letting her have her tantrum in a safe place that didn't interfere with other people's ability to enjoy the pool while staying nearby to make sure nothing happened to her.
Well I'm glad you were there to confirm his story. All I said was we're taking him at his word, and looking at the vitriol aimed at the tattler we're assuming it wasn't warranted.
What if someone posted the following:
I was at a pool this weekend and saw some guy go apeshit on his 3 year old. He hauled her out of the pool by her arm, carried her dangling by the arm to his car where he put her in the backseat and rolled down the windows a couple inches (it was 90 and sunny out) and told her to think about what she'd done. He then stood outside the car yelling at her through the window for 10 minutes. I would have said something about how the interior of the car could get into the 100s but the guy was standing there yelling at a 3 year old baking inside a car. Someone actually called the cops just to make sure the kid didn't die.
****************
Based solely on the OP it seems no police involvement was warranted, but people often aren't the best observers of their own behavior especially when frustrated, nor are they necessarily perfectly honest when posting in internet forums. So to wish death and destruction upon someone who honestly felt a 3 year old was in some danger, took a precaution by calling the police just to be safe, with the worst case scenario being nothing illegal was going on and the cops would take a peek and let the guy go, vs taking the risk that the kid dies and no one does anything or reports it to anyone when it could have been prevented, seems like going a little overboard to me.
When someone goes into a lawyers office and starts telling their story, the lawyer has to be skeptical and can't accept every word they say as the god's honest. People have a tendency to paint themselves in the best light, so take that into consideration before deciding who was in the right when you've only heard one person's version of the story.
Every story has 3 sides: mine, yours, and the truth.
You're right sort of. You have the fact that my wife didn't leave me, you also have the fact that I wasn't arrested or delayed beyond the initial investigation.
Originally posted by: Xavier434
The biggest problem I have noticed when it comes to parents and disciplining their children is how accurate their evaluation is in regards to the effectiveness of that discipline. This is the bottom line right here. If your child does not understand or is not learning what the right thing is to do AFTER you discipline them then you are doing something wrong.
Many people believe that if the child is not learning then the answer is to deliver harsher discipline which is sometimes effective on a case by case basis, but that is not always true especially if the child is very young. Most of time, they just do not understand why they are being punished. All they know is that they do not like whatever is happening to them and it is stressing them out to the point where they are not in a mental position to accept reason and teachings. Sometimes they get so stressed out by the punishment that they don't have a clue what it is that they did wrong. Therefore, I have found that yelling, time outs, taking privileges away from them, grounding them, etc all work very well but ONLY when combined with reasonable teachings of why what they did was wrong and UNDERSTANDABLE explanations of what to do right. Also, timing is everything. After the punishment is given, you need to wait until they calm down and get their heads screwed back on straight so that they are in a mental position to listen and take in your teachings properly.
Lastly, never assume that your child is incapable of learning something even at a very young age. That is another common mistake parents make. In most cases, the problem it is not that your children are incapable of learning how to do something properly because they are too young. The real problem is that you are not teaching them in such a way that their young minds are capable of understanding. You need to learn how to teach them so that they understand while also recognizing that there will be a lot of trial and error on both ends as well as a lot of repetition.
Originally posted by: Garet Jax
Make no mistake, my youngest daughter understands exactly what is going on. She is just choosing to behave badly and she gets even more upset when the consequences are realized.
Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
Bah....I'm 27 and remember friends of mine picking thin branches off a tree to be whipped with. That didn't leave bruises....it left red marks and scratches.Originally posted by: Chiropteran
Originally posted by: mooseracing
My sister jumped once when she was getting spanked and my dad got her on the leg and left a bruise. Child services were out the next day. they didn't want to believe my parents at all, hell now they would ask questions later and ship them off to jail.
If the spankings are so hard they are leaving bruises, that is abuse.
Kids today are wimps and the folks who don't think pain is a good motivator has never raised kids with problems.
Originally posted by: MadPeriot
Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
Bah....I'm 27 and remember friends of mine picking thin branches off a tree to be whipped with. That didn't leave bruises....it left red marks and scratches.Originally posted by: Chiropteran
Originally posted by: mooseracing
My sister jumped once when she was getting spanked and my dad got her on the leg and left a bruise. Child services were out the next day. they didn't want to believe my parents at all, hell now they would ask questions later and ship them off to jail.
If the spankings are so hard they are leaving bruises, that is abuse.
Kids today are wimps and the folks who don't think pain is a good motivator has never raised kids with problems.
It's true, kids these days are too pampered by their parents. I work with kids as a tennis coach and their parents wants to reschedule because it's too HOT! I express that there's little leagues and soccer kids running around the field and they can't take a hour tennis lessons because of the heat. Esp. the asian kids, where they're parents do everything and even think for them when comes to decision making. Sorry to get off topic but wanted to express how much wimps and sissy in the new generation. I remember my tennis coach made me play until my hands started bleeding and had to crawl off the courts.