Some people are just *********

[Heller]

ok, so i just want to point out that, when this man walked sat at my table, he had brought his own beer (busch light rofl), not one but 3 cans.

he proceds to order the most expensive thing on our menu, 28oz prime rib;loaded baked potato and corn.


his trailer trash wife orders peice of fish and some other bullshit.

i rin the food, they start diging in and about 5 minutes later they pull me aside and say theire very unhappy with their meals. (half eaten mind you,)


I offer to take it back and exchange it for somthing else, he said that he expects it off the check and i say fine.


he then proceds to start digging in again and i kindly tell him that if he continues eating, i will have to charge him for the food.



this guy flips out, starts causing a scene in the resturant (he whos clearly a little tipsy now) and starts accusing me of hitting on his wife. (who happens to be about 5" 500lbs and has a strange ordor to her.)


my manager comes out, handles the situation and then has to call the po po's cause this drunken asshole continues to eat the food, then trys to walk out on the tab.

this has to be my most interesteing table i've ever had.


how was your night?

Hot Deals --->>> PC Gaming and Security Mod Oakenfold

 

[Damn Dirty Ape]

Originally posted by: Heller
ok, so i just want to point out that, when this man walked sat at my table, he had brought his own beer (busch light rofl), not one but 3 cans.

he proceds to order the most expensive thing on our menu, 28oz prime rib;loaded baked potato and corn.


his trailer trash wife orders peice of fish and some other bullshit.

i rin the food, they start diging in and about 5 minutes later they pull me aside and say theire very unhappy with their meals. (half eaten mind you,)


I offer to take it back and exchange it for somthing else, he said that he expects it off the check and i say fine.


he then proceds to start digging in again and i kindly tell him that if he continues eating, i will have to charge him for the food.



this guy flips out, starts causing a scene in the resturant (he whos clearly a little tipsy now) and starts accusing me of hitting on his wife. (who happens to be about 5" 500lbs and has a strange ordor to her.)


my manager comes out, handles the situation and then has to call the po po's cause this drunken asshole continues to eat the food, then trys to walk out on the tab.

this has to be my most interesteing table i've ever had.


how was your night?

ahh the salsa was a little thin at our fave mex restaurant..

 

[sjwaste]

<-- Off topic?

 

[Slew Foot]

So what did the cops do? Hopefully shoot the guy, sounds like a waste of life.

 

[tranceport]

Originally posted by: Slew Foot
So what did the cops do? Hopefully shoot the guy, sounds like a waste of life.

Or at least taser huh?

 

[CorCentral]

Are you just a bad speller or a bit tipsy yourself?

Good story though, what I could read of it anyway.

 

[timelapse]

Originally posted by: tranceport

Originally posted by: Slew Foot
So what did the cops do? Hopefully shoot the guy, sounds like a waste of life.

Or at least taser huh?

"Dont' taze me bro!!!"

 

[QED]

Originally posted by: Heller

My name is Heller. I am apparently a waiter at a restaurant. This is my tale of woe for the evening.

It was a dark and stormy night. This sporty young couple ambles out of the rain and in to our restaurant. The hostess smiles at them, and promptly seats them at a table I am responsible for waiting on.

Ok, so i just want to point out that, when this man walked sat at my table, he had brought his own beer (busch light rofl), not one but 3 cans.

he proceds to order the most expensive thing on our menu, 28oz prime rib;loaded baked potato and corn.


his trailer trash wife orders peice of fish and some other bullshit.

i bring the food, they start digging in and about 5 minutes later they pull me aside and say they are very unhappy with their meals. (half eaten mind you,)

I offer to take it (their meal) back and exchange it for something else, but he said that he expects it off the check and i say fine.


he then proceds to start digging in again and i kindly tell him that if he continues eating, i will have to charge him for the food.


this guy flips out, starts causing a scene in the resturant (he is clearly a little tipsy now) and starts accusing me of hitting on his wife. (who happens to be about 5" 500lbs and has a strange odor to her.)

my manager comes out, handles the situation and then has to call the police because this drunken asshole continues to eat the food, then trys to walk out on the tab.

this has to be my most interesteing table i've ever had.


how was your night?

Hot Deals --->>> PC Gaming and Security Mod Oakenfold

Fixed For Slightly More Readability

 

[Arkitech]

How much was the bill?

 

[Gothgar]

Originally posted by: QED

Originally posted by: Heller

My name is Heller. I am apparently a waiter at a restaurant. This is my tale of woe for the evening.

It was a dark and stormy night. This sporty young couple ambles out of the rain and in to our restaurant. The hostess smiles at them, and promptly seats them at a table I am responsible for waiting on.

Ok, so i just want to point out that, when this man walked sat at my table, he had brought his own beer (busch light rofl), not one but 3 cans.

he proceds to order the most expensive thing on our menu, 28oz prime rib;loaded baked potato and corn.


his trailer trash wife orders peice of fish and some other bullshit.

i bring the food, they start digging in and about 5 minutes later they pull me aside and say they are very unhappy with their meals. (half eaten mind you,)

I offer to take it (their meal) back and exchange it for something else, but he said that he expects it off the check and i say fine.


he then proceds to start digging in again and i kindly tell him that if he continues eating, i will have to charge him for the food.


this guy flips out, starts causing a scene in the resturant (he is clearly a little tipsy now) and starts accusing me of hitting on his wife. (who happens to be about 5" 500lbs and has a strange odor to her.)

my manager comes out, handles the situation and then has to call the police because this drunken asshole continues to eat the food, then trys to walk out on the tab.

this has to be my most interesteing table i've ever had.


how was your night?

Hot Deals --->>> PC Gaming and Security Mod Oakenfold

Fixed For Slightly More Readability

lulz, I am still having some trouble though.

 

[paulney]

Good times. Too bad it wasn't at a casino where bouncers would have kicked them both out and have their asses kicked in the back alley to boot.

 

[02ranger]

Originally posted by: QED

Originally posted by: Heller

My name is Heller. I am apparently a waiter at a restaurant. This is my tale of woe for the evening.

It was a dark and stormy night. This sporty young couple ambles out of the rain and in to our restaurant. The hostess smiles at them, and promptly seats them at a table I am responsible for waiting on.

Ok, so i just want to point out that, when this man walked sat at my table, he had brought his own beer (busch light rofl), not one but 3 cans.

he proceeds to order the most expensive thing on our menu, 28oz prime rib; loaded baked potato and corn.


his trailer trash wife orders a piece of fish and some other bullshit.

i bring the food, they start digging in; and about 5 minutes later they pull me aside and say they are very unhappy with their meals. (half eaten mind you,)

I offer to take it (their meal) back and exchange it for something else, but he said that he expects it off the check and i say fine.


he then proceeds to start digging in again and i kindly tell him that if he continues eating, i will have to charge him for the food.


this guy flips out, starts causing a scene in the restaurant (he is clearly a little tipsy now) and starts accusing me of hitting on his wife. (who happens to be about 5' 500lbs and has a strange odor to her.)

my manager comes out, handles the situation and then has to call the police because this drunken asshole continues to eat the food, then tries to walk out on the tab.

this has to be my most interesting table i've ever had.


how was your night?

Hot Deals --->>> PC Gaming and Security Mod Oakenfold

Fixed For Slightly More Readability

Fixed a few more things. It should now be understandable to most.

 

[UberNeuman]

Originally posted by: 02ranger

Originally posted by: QED

Originally posted by: Heller

My name is Heller. I am apparently a waiter at a restaurant. This is my tale of woe for the evening.

It was a dark and stormy night. This sporty young couple ambles out of the rain and in to our restaurant. The hostess smiles at them, and promptly seats them at a table I am responsible for waiting on.

Ok, so i just want to point out that, when this man walked sat at my table, he had brought his own beer (busch light rofl), not one but 3 cans.

he proceeds to order the most expensive thing on our menu, 28oz prime rib; loaded baked potato and corn.


his trailer trash wife orders a piece of fish and some other bullshit.

i bring the food, they start digging in; and about 5 minutes later they pull me aside and say they are very unhappy with their meals. (half eaten mind you,)

I offer to take it (their meal) back and exchange it for something else, but he said that he expects it off the check and i say fine.


he then proceeds to start digging in again and i kindly tell him that if he continues eating, i will have to charge him for the food.


this guy flips out, starts causing a scene in the restaurant (he is clearly a little tipsy now) and starts accusing me of hitting on his wife. (who happens to be about 5' 500lbs and has a strange odor to her.)

my manager comes out, handles the situation and then has to call the police because this drunken asshole continues to eat the food, then tries to walk out on the tab.

It was at that moment I knew I had to prevent these food thieving rogues from escaping justice - I had no time to lose! I dropped the bowl of piping hot soup I was serving on the lap of the patron who had ordered it - and made a dash for the restroom, and while in the process, knocked down two senior citizens and a pregnant lady - or she could have just been fat.

As I shoved the restroom door open, it smashed against the head of a child attempting to exit, knocking them out. I ran over to the handicapped stall and kicked the door in - I grabbed the partially paralyzed woman off the toilet and tossed her onto the cold marble of the bathroom floor and closed the stall door - as I had to have privacy to change from my normal everyday identity into:

WAITER MAN!

I emerged from the stall moments later clad in my superhero uniform - a tight fitting body stocking with a pink velvet cape with my logo of a crossed knife and fork stitched onto it. My face, covered with a single cloth napkin with eyeholes cut into it, protects my secret from being uncovered.

WAITER MAN!

Not having a moment to spare, I turned and rushed toward the side wall and broke through it - ending up outside in the parking lot just as the White Trash Couple was preparing to get into their rusted car.

"Stop!" I yelled.

The White Trash man turned toward me, bits of steak hanging off his beard - "Who the hell are you!" he bellowed at me.

I removed my steel bow tie throwing star from around my neck and drew my arm back.

"I'm Waiter Man...." I hissed as I threw the steel bow tie throwing star at him. It whirred through the crisp, clean night air - and struck the White Trash man in his crouch.

"Oh, No! MY BALLLSSS!!!!!" he cried out and then died. His wife began screaming a banshee's wail.

"Nnnnooooooo! You dun killed Lester!!!!!! and nows I gonna kills you!!!"

As she began to hurry toward me, with her giant heaving breasts bouncing up and down, clapping against her beer belly - I reached into my side pocket and pulled out a hand full of knifes and forks and tossed them at her.

The deadly stainless steel payload impacted in the middle of her gut, and she fell to the asphalt - and then died...

It was then the Police arrived - they pulled into the lot and saw me with the two outlaws that I delivered justice onto.

Office Rourke stepped out of the squad car, and glanced at the perps on the ground, then at me.

"What's going on, Waiter Man?!" he said quietly.

I looked at him, then said, "Office Rourke - you're going to have to set a table for two - at the morgue!"

I then ran off into the night - but I will return for I am:

WAITER MAN!





this has to be my most interesting table i've ever had.


how was your night?

Hot Deals --->>> PC Gaming and Security Mod Oakenfold

Fixed For Slightly More Readability

Fixed a few more things. It should now be understandable to most.

I'm just mental...

 

[darkxshade]

so are you typing this from your laptop in bed.... next to the wife... all 500 lbs of her?

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

Originally posted by: UberNeuman

Originally posted by: 02ranger

Originally posted by: QED

Originally posted by: Heller

[
"I'm Waiter Man...." I hissed as I threw the steel bow tie throwing star at him. It whirred through the crisp, clean night air - and struck the White Trash man in his crouch.
[/i]





this has to be my most interesting table i've ever had.


how was your night?

Hot Deals --->>> PC Gaming and Security Mod Oakenfold

Fixed For Slightly More Readability

Fixed a few more things. It should now be understandable to most.

I'm just mental...

I wouldn't want to be hit in my crouch, if I knew what that was?

 

[shortylickens]

Soon as I read that I knew the grammar Nazi's would be all over his ass.

 

[Schfifty Five]

Originally posted by: QED

Originally posted by: Heller

My name is Heller. I am apparently a waiter at a restaurant. This is my tale of woe for the evening.

It was a dark and stormy night. This sporty young couple ambles out of the rain and in to our restaurant. The hostess smiles at them, and promptly seats them at a table I am responsible for waiting on.

Ok, so i just want to point out that, when this man walked sat at my table, he had brought his own beer (busch light rofl), not one but 3 cans.

he proceds to order the most expensive thing on our menu, 28oz prime rib;loaded baked potato and corn.


his trailer trash wife orders peice of fish and some other bullshit.

i bring the food, they start digging in and about 5 minutes later they pull me aside and say they are very unhappy with their meals. (half eaten mind you,)

I offer to take it (their meal) back and exchange it for something else, but he said that he expects it off the check and i say fine.


he then proceds to start digging in again and i kindly tell him that if he continues eating, i will have to charge him for the food.


this guy flips out, starts causing a scene in the resturant (he is clearly a little tipsy now) and starts accusing me of hitting on his wife. (who happens to be about 5" 500lbs and has a strange odor to her.)

my manager comes out, handles the situation and then has to call the police because this drunken asshole continues to eat the food, then trys to walk out on the tab.

this has to be my most interesteing table i've ever had.


how was your night?

Hot Deals --->>> PC Gaming and Security Mod Oakenfold

Fixed For Slightly More Readability

Slightly being the key word here as your fixes also contain grammar mistakes and is a little wordy at times.

 

[Schfifty Five]

Originally posted by: Heller
So I just want to point out that this man walked into the restaurant that I work at and was seated at a table I'm waiting on. He brought his own beer (busch light rofl). Not one but three cans.

He then proceeds to order the most expensive thing on our menu, a 28oz prime rib, loaded baked potato and corn.

His trailer trash wife orders fish and some other bullshit.

I bring the food and they start digging in. About 5 minutes later, they pull me aside and say they're very unhappy with their meals. (half eaten mind you)

I offer to take it back and exchange it for something else, but instead says that he expects it off the check. I say fine.

Immediately he begins digging in again and I kindly tell him that if he continues eating, I will have to charge him for the food.

Upon hearing this, the guy (who is clearly a little tipsy now) flips out and starts causing a scene in the restaurant and starts accusing me of hitting on his wife (She happens to be about 5", 500lbs and has a strange odor to her).

My manager comes out, handles the situation and then has to call the po po cause this drunken asshole continues to eat the food, then tries to walk out on the tab.

This has to be my most interesting table I've ever had.

How was your night?

Hot Deals --->>> PC Gaming and Security Mod Oakenfold

Cleaned it up as best as I could.

 

[Whoozyerdaddy]

Originally posted by: Heller
theire

Wait wait wait... Now in addition to 'there' 'their' and 'they're' we have a fourth use to keep track of? Is this like the new math?

 

[Perknose]

Originally posted by: shortylickens
Soon as I read that I knew the grammar Nazi's would be all over his ass.

ACHTUNG! Your apostrophe is as useless as a good luck charm on the Russian front! :laugh:

 

[ShadowOfMyself]

I am deeply offended by the horrible grammar in this thread :|

:roll:

 

[Perknose]

Originally posted by: ShadowOfMyself
I am deeply offended by the horrible grammar in this thread :|

:roll:

Although many of their sentences feature the required punctuation at the end, like, you know, periods!

 

[JS80]

go easy on him on the grammar, he's just a waiter.

 

[mugs]

I almost feel bad for someone whose life is so bad that a night out with the wife consists of trying to scam a restaurant to get free food.

 

[phonefreak]

similar thing happened to me when i was a waiter, only with hamburgers so it was not as bad. We comped the food and they started eating again, which is ridiculous.