Sometimes people just push you...

[Yeeny]

Last night, I was talking to my son and daughter about wrestling, and my mother in law was sitting there with us. My daughter said she wanted to be a wrestler, and I told her she could be anything she wanted to be. My MIL started telling her that women are only meant to be wives and mothers, and that is all. I asked her nicely to stop telling her that. She ignored me and repeated that, saying that women really are not smart enough, and should leave all the jobs requiring brains to men, because they are better at it. Again I asked her to stop, and told her nicely I did not appreciate it.

Well by the third time of her ignoring me, I got mad. I turned around, looked at my daughter and said, and I quote: "Don't listen to the crazy old bitch, she does not know whats she talking about. Just because she is not smart enough to make something out of herself does not mean you won't be." Maybe I should not have said it, but I have been listening to this womans rants for ten long years, and last night was enough. So now I feel all evil, because I have never talked to her like that before. I hate when people make me act like a bitch....

 

[phatcow]

Hmmm.. i would have took it outside.. =P if u know what i meant..

 

[guyver01]

hellz yeah sister!!! tells that mofo whazzup...

lol... sorry.. couldn't resist.

Looks like your MIL got a bad case of "stuck in the past"

i ain't no chick, but hate it when people tell others they ain't good enough or smart enough to do something.. that aint right.

 

[Czar]

what a ignorant woman that mother in law of yours is, I think you did the right thing, maybe a litle to much, maybe should have skipped the bitch part, but you had every right to say it.

You are a good mother it seems, keep it up

 

[unxpurg8d]

"act"?????????????????????????????????????????????????????






:: going off to a safe little corner to hide and giggle - and look up all the phone numbers of past mothers-in-law to give to GirlFriday so she can call 'em for me ........... as long as she's on a roll ::

 

[ArkAoss]

yup don't let her get off with that kind of bulogna, and its not like wrestling requires brains, you can have lots of brains and wrestle, you risk gettin slammed the wrong way and loosin some.. 10 yrs? where the heck is your MIL from? my grandmother whom was raised in the 20's an 30's ran her own business for like the last 30-40 yrs as a secretary, used to talk truckers thru her area over cb till they got too dirty mouthed, and still manages her house, cares fro my grandfather whos twice her size, but had a very bad back, and still manages to go on more vacations than women i know half her age. It was a little harsh how you dealt with your MIL, but she sounds real dense to have ignored you 3 times in one evening.

 

[Shack70]

Congrats! I think you did alright

 

[poop]

Some people really believe that. Of course, I think it is utter BS, and you should set your daughter on the right path. Maybe hte language could have used some work . I understand the heat of the moment and all that.

 

[Optimus]

(Stands and applauds GirlFriday)

GF, respect for in-laws is a good thing, but the parental responsibility is far greater. You put the future self-development of your child above your mother-in-law's "right" to be mean and difficult. You did what was right and best for your daughter - I would have done the same!

Don't think of it as acting b!ichy to your MIL, think of it as protecting your child's development.

I'm glad you stood up to her - she was wrong.

 

[Sundog]

If your MIL is into the submissive role and men are superior BS, then NO way should your daughter be subjected to that if you do not agree.

Don't put up with that. Times change, HEY--women can wear pants now, they can vote, thay can make more money than men also. We aren't living in the 50s anymore.

Living in the 50s style, how intellectually boring.

 

[Frenchie]

You go Girl. Your MOIL left you know choice. If she insists on trying to force her antiquated opinions on YOUR children, then action must be taken. You asked her politely and she refused. What you did was fine given the circumstances.

 

[PG]

Good for you!
Don't feel bad at all. It seems as if it's about time somebody stood up to her. You did the right thing for your daughter and that's what matters. Young people are easily influenced and your children don't need her garbage clouding their judgement.

 

[Regine]

I think you did the right thing.
You're daughter doesn't need to hear stuff like that. You go girl
And you shouldn't feel bad for it either. Like you said, you have never talked to her like that before, and you stood up for what you believe

 

[wyvrn]

You stood up for yourself and your beliefs. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. Sometimes it is an emotional thing (hence the bitch part ), but if that is what it takes, then so be it. The women with the real problems is your MIL.

 

[ToBeMe]

Disagreeing with what she said is correct........Saying things like that about your childrens Grandmother is not.......IMHO you should have 1) explained calmly that her Grandmother came basicly from another "era" and that her "ideals" of what women in general "should" do is outdated in 2001 and explain why you are correct. 2) Have a private talk with your M.I.L. and explain to her that her views do not agree whatsoever with yours, or most peoples in this day and age, and if she can not be supportive of you, and your views and methods of teaching your children, she should not voice them to your children. If she can not understand that, tell that until she does, you would appreciate her not talking about any of those such things!......had the same problem.......

 

[Yeeny]

ToBeMe: You have some really good advice there, and I have tried it all. I have been dealing with comments like this for ten years, and I admit it, I lost my cool. I have tried talking to her in private, and she just shows no respect for my opinion. I have told her she has the rights to her beliefs, just please keep them to herself, she won't. Which is obvious by my first post. She tries to overstep my husband and I constantly, and tells my kids they don't have to do what I say. If she disagrees with me, she will argue with me in front of my kids, which I have tried to avoid for a long time. She is also racist, and thinks it's funny to enrage me by telling my kids they should be intolerant of black people, because they are inferior. (My kids tell her that they don't want to hear it when she says it, but still).

But last night, I could not hold it back anymore. I will admit I was wrong for the bitch part, I never should have called her that. But I will not apologize for anything else I said. I work hard to raise my kids to be openminded, and I will not let anyone teach them otherwise. Anyways, thanks for listening guys.

 

[fir3wir3]

Gah, she sounds like a crazy old woman

"women arent smart enough"

I sure as hell dont want to be the only person in the family working!

 

[Total Refected Power]

GF:

I know sometimes it is hard to keep cool in these situations and the emotions flow. In a way you are both wrong but your MIL was/is way out of line.

Tell here that my wife has a PHD in chemistry and that she is very successful in her position at a great bio-tech company.

Just explain to your kids that your response was "wrong" but that they can achieve anything.

 

[divinemartyr]

<< Your MOIL left you know choice. >>



I don't know that she left you 'know' choice but either way.

You're a lot older and wiser than I am, and while I don't disagree with you saying that to a woman who's misdirecting your children, you probably shouldn't have said it in front of your daughter. Kids are most impressionable when they are young so don't let your MIL ruin anything for your daughter. If she wants to make something of herself she won't make that decision now as she's incapable, but stand your ground as her mother when your MIL butts in. Just not in front of your daughter.

dm

 

[bcterps]

GF,

I know what you did was hard, it may have been a bit harsh, but I certainly understand your actions. I agree with ToBeMe, but sometimes a person needs to be shocked in order to get the point. Sadly, if this has been going on for 10 years, I doubt things will change. How does your husband feel about it? I think at a certain point, you may just have to keep her away from the children, I would hope that it never comes to that, but something needs to be done so that she realizes what the problem is.

--Ben

P.S. How has life been without smoking? Congrats on making it this far, keep up the good work!

 

[yakko]

<< Maybe I should not have said it >>


Yes you should have. Maybe you shouldn't have waited so long to say it.

 

[Mrs AntiSocial Virge]

GF, if you feel bad, not because of what you said, but because it sounded harsh in front of your daughter, then sit your daughter down alone and explain why what your MIL said made you so mad, explain about your MIL's old-fashioned attitude, and let her (your daughter) know that you should respect your elders, etc. etc. Basically, you could use this as a learning experience for tolerance, standing your ground, etc. I would have done the same thing, probably.

 

[Missus]

Good for you!!! Although I do agree with ToBeMe... But it does need to be addressed...

My gran that lives here in NC has the same viewpoint... She wouldn't even let me mow her yard or clean her gutters for her... She said that was man's work... Then I started taking welding classes and she kind of backed off on it...

My other gran that lives in IN is 15 years old (will be 95 this year) and is altogether different... She went to college back in the 20's? And... She would not put up with that type of talk... Did I mention she has a black belt in wooden spoons??? She is one of the most progressive thinking (and practical) people I know!!!...

I think you daughter should be a wrestler if that is what she wants... I bet they make good money... I guess a background in gymnastics and drama helps...

 

[IBhacknU]

<< So now I feel all evil >>

What you said is not evil... it is just your frustration coming out. They are your children, and you are right to raise them the way YOU want to raise them. As has been repeated b4, your MIL is stuck in the past.

 

[Yeeny]

Benchiu: Thanks for asking, it's going great. Still smoke free, though I could have used one last night.

I am not one for correcting an adult in front of my kids, but when people say things that are so wrong, I will do it. I want my kids to know its always ok to speak your mind. Just maybe not as rudely as I did... I think what makes me the maddest is that I know she does not really believe what she says. She is the type of person who finds joy in saying things she knows will make me mad, and she knows by saying it to my kids, I will really get bent. And she figured she has talked to my kids like that in front of me, and I have always taken her to the side or called her later on to ask her not to. So I am hoping that maybe now, this will be the end of it.