Sonikku finally committed! By Blizzard no less

[Dr. Zaus]

being bi-polar, I am very well acquainted with depression.

Anti-inflammatory diets have been shown to have a strong effect on depression.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xbNNxQZEgA

 

[Iron Woode]

Anti-inflammatory diets have been shown to have a strong effect on depression.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xbNNxQZEgA

while I think his basic premise is off kilter, eating a healthy diet will help anyone.

I am also diabetic so eating healthy is important to me.

be that as it may, I found having a personal goal helped me with depression more than anything else. By completing a goal it helped me work through my depression. If it was a goal to help others, I just didn't want to make the effort. It may seem selfish but that is what helped me.

My symptoms have become much less severe over the years. I can cope with the highs and lows much better now. Keep that in mind if I start arguing about something, as it's usually fueled by my bi-polar.

 

[disappoint]

 

[JEDIYoda]

just wow.....

Your post is as unwelcome as it is inappropriate. In a thread full of the kind of humanity and personal support that makes me intensely proud of the finest qualities of the posters of OT, yours stands out for its shallow ignorance. If you were a better person you'd be ashamed of yourself.

Perknose
Forum Director

 

[Exterous]

Are there fields out there that are trans friendly?

Geographic area might also play a role. Certain cities will be way more accepting than others

 

[brainhulk]

Geographic area might also play a role. Certain cities will be way more accepting than others

Yeah, I forgot to add that. Those areas might have a higher chance of lgbtq in management making the hiring decisions too. So I suppose just being in those areas will provide better networking opportunities.

 

[Dr. Zaus]

^this is why I'm suggesting the PnW.

Portland and Seattle have really low unemployment, and as we all know, the further north you go on the left coast, the more socially open minded.

At a board game convention I went to recently folks had buttons to indicate their preferred pronoun.

I overlooked this, not knowing about them, once.

Folks identified as he, she, or they. Everyone was respectful. My child's elementary school has learning, respect, and inclusion as its three guiding principles. The university I teach at has a GLBT female whose research is working on empowering the trans part of the community as the person in charge of faculty.


I wasn't joking about moving for a job.

And most of us, most of the time, are background NPCs in most other's... background NPCs that enable and maintain the existence of the world.

 

[[DHT]Osiris]

I wasn't joking about moving for a job.

I've moved for every job I've taken. TX -> Germany (mil) -> SC (mil) -> GA -> NY. Hopefully done at this point though!

 

[Scarpozzi]

We want you here. I enjoy reading your contributions to ATOT. You are a part of our lives, whether you realize it or not.

Thank goodness for Blizzard and the police.

 

[Nashemon]

I expected to be entertained by another thoughtful, witty, and humorous post by one of my favorite posters on this board. But what heartwrenching read! I'm a mess right now. I truly care about you Sonikku. I never knew any of this. It's a delight to see your posts in every thread I see you in, as I agree with most of your opinions on things and we share so many interests, and I was really saddened to find out that you're going through this.

I'm so happy help arrived soon enough. I would have been crushed to find out otherwise. Much respect to Blizzard; I never knew they did things like that. There is a reason for all things. Hope can be found even in the darkest of times. Please stay with us. We're all mad here.

 

[Rifter]

I read this a few days ago, just wasnt sure how to respond. I realize nothing i say will likely have much of an effect but ill just say this.

You have intelligent and thoughtful posts, i for one would miss you if you were gone.

Try and focus on short term goals, set daily goals, even small ones, and work your way up to longer term goals like getting a job. Try not to get discouraged so start with fairly easy goals, and keep up with professional help, there is someone out there that can help you you just need to put in the time to find them.

Good luck.

 

[NesuD]

As a father who discovered his son after an intentional overdose I can say that you can not begin to comprehend the pain your mother would have been in. I know it hurts and I wish I had the answers but I don't. All I can say is life is a struggle but you are not alone. Reach out even if it is to a complete stranger. You are obviously an articulate and intelligent person. The world would miss you. Look for joy wherever you can find it no matter how fleeting it may be.

 

[Charmonium]

And most of us, most of the time, are background NPCs in most other's... background NPCs that enable and maintain the existence of the world.

We help to maintain counterfactual definiteness.

 

[Azuma Hazuki]

@Sonikku: PM me if you need someone to talk to. My area is anti-trafficking but I do a lot of trans* support work and if nothing else can help you with a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen with. I've lost 3 MtF friends to similar circumstances over the years and would hate to see the same thing happen to you. Support networks are so, so important to socially disadvantaged people.

 

[JEDIYoda]

just wow.....

Your post is as unwelcome as it is inappropriate. In a thread full of the kind of humanity and personal support that makes me intensely proud of the finest qualities of the posters of OT, yours stands out for its shallow ignorance. If you were a better person you'd be ashamed of yourself.

Perknose
Forum Director

I can see where my response was taken as inappropriate! But at the moment those were the only words that came to mind! It took a great amount of courage for Sonniku to share this with the AnandTech family!!
I was just so moved by Sonniku`s problems and situation! Those words -- were not meant be taken as crass or unfeeling because I truly do feel for Sonniku`s situation and I only wish for the best outcome to this situation! Stay strong and keep your chin held up high!! Peace!!

 

[Rubycon]

Wow that's quite the turn of events.
Glad to hear you're OK and got help.
Good luck and hope for the best.

 

[dave_the_nerd]

*ping* @Sonikku

So, like, how ya doin'?

 

[Paratus]

Well damn.

There's nothing to be ashamed about. You wouldn't expect someone with heart disease to be ashamed of being in the hospital. You shouldn't be ashamed because a chemical imbalance is causing you significant depression that requires hospitalization.


Depression and suicidal thoughts are NOT some moral failing of yours. they are a disease and it sucks you have them.

Also don't feel too bad about what happened in WOW. Back in the 90's my best friend had to contact our mutual friends parents when he started saying suicidal things in a MUD, (the text based prehistoric forerunner to MMORPGS for you youngins).

His parents went up to college and pulled him out. After some help he went back to school and today he's got a family and job.

At any rate, I'm glad your still with us. I definitely appreciate your wit. (Your Colbert level satire in P&N was damn near heroic)

 

[BlitzPuppet]

Hang in there Sonikku! Many people, including me, enjoy your contributions to this forum

 

[Sonikku]

*ping* @Sonikku

So, like, how ya doin'?

Not well. I tried to see if I could make college work by going deeper into debt with student loans as the Excelsior plan that got passed in NY state has so many limitations that I didn't qualify for it. But that didn't work out either. My mother wants me to go back to the hospital but I told her I won't go through with it. Some in this thread brought up starting a gofundme but I don't know anything about that kind of stuff. What would I even ask for? Transition money that would go into the tens of thousands? Tuition money so I could get a degree worth something and pay for my transition myself? It seems like such an impossible sum to ask for and I don't see it happening. I would be embarrassed just asking for such charity as it is.

 

[Dr. Zaus]

Not well. I tried to see if I could make college work by going deeper into debt with student loans as the Excelsior plan that got passed in NY state has so many limitations that I didn't qualify for it. But that didn't work out either. My mother wants me to go back to the hospital but I told her I won't go through with it. Some in this thread brought up starting a gofundme but I don't know anything about that kind of stuff. What would I even ask for? Transition money that would go into the tens of thousands? Tuition money so I could get a degree worth something and pay for my transition myself? It seems like such an impossible sum to ask for and I don't see it happening. I would be embarrassed just asking for such charity as it is.

You are a valuable person and there are other people out there who will accept you. What you need to find are people who care about you, and who you care about. You can also come to accept yourself and what you can be for others by volunteering and seeing the force for good you can be for others. I find this greater sense of self-worth through my church, the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America. This church has outreach and support directed at the GLBT community, and has long been accepting of these folks, and often engages in good works projects where you may be able to find some self-worth in serving others. You don't need to accept or believe in anything to join in.

That said, what you need money for is a psychiatrist and the anti-depressants you clearly need.

 

[dave_the_nerd]

Not well. I tried to see if I could make college work by going deeper into debt with student loans as the Excelsior plan that got passed in NY state has so many limitations that I didn't qualify for it. But that didn't work out either. My mother wants me to go back to the hospital but I told her I won't go through with it. Some in this thread brought up starting a gofundme but I don't know anything about that kind of stuff. What would I even ask for? Transition money that would go into the tens of thousands? Tuition money so I could get a degree worth something and pay for my transition myself? It seems like such an impossible sum to ask for and I don't see it happening. I would be embarrassed just asking for such charity as it is.

Education has its own category:

https://www.gofundme.com/school-fundraising

Transitions are under medical expenses. (example):

https://www.gofundme.com/nehas-transition

The "wishes" section is even more interesting, particularly w/r/t what gets funded and doesn't. Doesn't make any sense to me at all.

https://www.gofundme.com/wishes-fundraising

For education, if you can write an engaging story, you'll probably do alright... although it apparently helps if your mother died of cancer and you're ridiculously photogenic.

For the transition stuff, I don't know.

There are other risks; getting "outed" by viral media might bring donations, but also a lot of negative attention (you know they like a trans story) or the doom and gloom of getting $537 when the next gofundme in line gets $50k. That might be a situation you'd want to avoid, or talk to your therapist about it first.

I don't know the grubby details of your finances, and I haven't ever had medical needs on the order of transition surgery, so I can't really tell you what I think your priorities ought to be, but becoming a ridiculously over-educated-ivory-tower-intellectual-ninny has worked out very well for me.

 

[dave_the_nerd]

That said, what you need money for is a psychiatrist and the anti-depressants you clearly need.

Oh, yeah, that too!

 

[lxskllr]

There are other risks; getting "outed" by viral media might bring donations, but also a lot of negative attention (you know they like a trans story) or the doom and gloom of getting $537 when the next gofundme in line gets $50k. That might be a situation you'd want to avoid, or talk to your therapist about it first.

This would be my fear. Social media's affect on mental health is well documented, and this would be like facebook on steroids.

I also think the mental help would be the best way to spend money. We've all heard of the people that 'have everything', but kill themselves, or give it a try. I honestly don't understand the trans stuff, so I don't know how much the surgery will help your mental state, but it very well may not :shrugs:

 

[Charmonium]

I honestly don't understand the trans stuff, so I don't know how much the surgery will help your mental state, but it very well may not :shrugs:

That's a really good point. When you're depressed, you can tend to blame the most obvious and immediate causes. And while that may be accurate much of the time, other times it may not be.

I can't tell you how to make the distinction except to encourage you to be brutally honest with yourself about your emotions and your motivations. If your therapist is any good, he or she should be able to help with this. But ultimately you have to be the final arbiter.