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Way back, college boy asked to a high school dance.
Couldn't wait, but my date was in my friend's pants.
Didn't know what to do, MC feelin' blue,
'Til my best friend said that the red would get me through.
Went to the jewel with my crew, adults-only box,
In a second-hand suit, bow tie, I'm a fox.
In a car on the street. In my mouth, Swisher Sweet.
Down that shit at my crib in a one gulp feat.
Room starts to turn like cheese...
My tummy starts to churn like grease...
On my knees like a rug burn beast...
Like an intern tease with a yeast (infection)
All the while on the tile, feel like I got the flu.
Think I'm gonna throw, I think this night is through.
Ding-dong, date's arrived and her dress is ripped.
She don't know I'm on a Robotussin trip.
In the back two girls going stag, fat asses.
I demand from the date her sunglasses.
do a drop roll out the car like Axel.
I need an angel, I need some fuckin' Advil.
I got a buzz bigger than a behive...
Cough up my cookies let loose what's on the inside.
Chorus:
The Tussin, The Tussin
Put it down like it was nothing.
Robocop couldn't stop me puking and flushin'.
No balls to be bustin', no fightin', no cussin',
Just love for a drug called Robotussin.
Way back college boy, live on eleventh floor.
Head out my window, wonder what I'm living for.
Knock on my door. What's in store? It's my buddy, Bux
With the rabbit ear pockets, saying he is out of luck.
Need a forty for party thrown by Laura Kang, at Rubin.
All he's got is snot, and a box-full of Ludens.
Tell'm 'bout the Tussin, we're hayden ho hustlin'
Interupting discussions about reagonomic reprocussions.
Fuck'm, we're fuckin' chug-a-luggin'.
Soon my stomach, I'm huggin'. I'm trippin' or something.
My coat I button, keep it down like a dungeon.
You could call me the cough medicine curmudgeon.
Frankly, the feeling's fuckin' fantastic.
I'm tripping like Jesus in the desert when he fasted,
Like it's the night before we all get drafted,
Like we're rowing through some rapids with Kevin Bacon, white water rafting.
Like you're at Epcot Center on acid? Exactly.
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