Star Trek (2009) - OFFICIAL REVIEW THREAD

[Scouzer]

Me and my girlfriend seriously loved this movie. I give it 10/10. It's easily the best sci-fi movie I've ever seen.

 

[jalaram]

Originally posted by: AAman
This movie was only for people who never watched the original series as nothing made sense (almost every detail contradicted the original series and TNG)...and yes I read the comic prequels after my roomie wasted money on 'em

I disagree. There were too many ST related jokes (e.g the red-shirted Ensign Ricky joke). I will agree that many details contradicted the canon, but as others have stated, that was done on purpose and used time travel/alternative universe to excuse it.

 

[HumblePie]

I enjoyed the movie as a story, but that's about it. Too many things bothered me though so I just ignored what I could.

First off....

Star Trek is menat to be a GUYS show. This movie is pure sausage fest. Go look at the original series and in most backgrounds you'll see some scantily clad girl or a least a woman in a tight uniform standing in the background pretending to be working on something. All we get in this movie in a 2 minute "bedroom" scene. I know some like the new Ohura, but she was way to thin for me. Beyond that, the ship looked like the makings of a lemon party with only 2 girls that I ever saw on it.

Ignoring the fact that the new star trek casting had more in common with the movie Twilight than the original, I did enjoy the story, when I was able to ignore the most retarded sci-fi, technology, and military absurdities that were there.

I can understand all the stupid stuff in the original series. It was the 60's and they didn't know any better and neither did the audience. While it's 2009 and not every who watches the show is mental genius, give us a little credit for knowing a few things now about the universe around us. Sure not all audience goers are going to understand stuff and take things at face values, but at least try to pander to the rest of us that have a few brain cells?

First off with the absurdities.. Who the hell designed all those ships? Really a mining ship that looks like a more menacing version of the evil ship from Mass Effect? What is the purpose behind each of those spires, tentacles, or whatever that junk that made the ship look like a Outback Steak House Blooming Onion. Even if there was a purpose behind each and every single one of them, I would think a mining ship wouldn't come with an unlimited supply of missiles and weaponry. also the design of this evil includes an interior that is only a bunch of floating platforms with drop offs to an obvious horrible death in the glowing bowels of the ship. Seriously?

If the bad guy ship wasn't designed bad enough, let's look at the good guy ships. Wow, a spinning, chopping, and obviously deadly artifice that does what? Chops up pressurized water? and of course wayward people trying to teleport onto the ship. It also just happens to have an emergency access port into a tube of pressurized water right before this instrument of death so that Kirk can save Scotty at the precise moment he passes by. Scotty lands with a thud and no more water on him than what I could piss from my bladder. There isn't a torrential downpour from the release and there is no major problem to the ship from no a lack of pressurized water that should have been doing something. Oh how we love star trek ship design. My friend and I couldn't tell if the bowels of the Enterprise was a ship or a insane beer brewery. We were leaning toward it being a brewery in space with that fun collection of pipes, ramps, and pressure cauldrons all over the place.

Then lets have the bridge to the ships out front with a glass viewing port! Oh, we couldn't possibly have technology in the future that would allow the bridge of the ship to be placed in the middle and safest part with a projection of the space around using cameras. That would make too much sense! No! We would miss out on the dramatics of when the glass starts to crack in the midst of a battle! Speaking of which, if the hull or glass viewing port of a spaceship started cracking, it most likely wouldn't stop and everyone would soon be dead.


Sure we still have all the old fun bits of crap people have pointed out over the years about the Star Trek universe using sound in space for explosions, and other crap.... but when your whole story HINGES upon something sci-fi, at least make it plausible please?

***SPOILER***

Okay, the heart of the story is this "red matter" right? In the future star goes nova and for un-given reason the nova rages out of control and goes beyond its own star system in destruction and doesn't seem to stop. How this could occur I have not the foggiest but we'll assume that it can. So to stop the rampage of natures destruction, the Federation invents some "red matter" that causes black holes with the tinest amount.

Okay, so Spock gets on a ship to run out to save the universe from this overgrown nova by placing a temporary black hole in front. I assume temporary because if not, then it would cause more damage than the nova ever would. Spock's extraction and delivery system for this red matter is a giant hypodermic crack needle that looks suspiciously like an infomercial penis pump. After sucking up the red matter he hurls it into space next to the raging inferno and a nearby ship.

Upon destruction of the penis pump, a black hole is formed? Or is it a time worm hole? Make up your mind people, because both Spock's ship and the Mass Effect mining ship get sucked in, as obviously neither ship has the ability to resist the power of the ever sucking black hole. Upon which the black whole opened up some hundred or so years into the past. Okay, so since this black hole opened up, or time worm hole, or whatever, the ships can now magically escape the pull of the singularity? Seems that way because they come flying leisurely out despite the raging black hole behind them that previously they could resist and to which later on the Enterprise has to create a HUGE explosion to generate enough force to escape from.

If your whole stinking story line hinges upon this black hole, or time hole, or whatever, then please be consistent. Is it too much to ask? Hell, I would have excepted that the shipped just magically "popped" into appearance in the past as that would be umm.. plausible? Okay maybe not but at least it wouldn't be as retarded.


Seriously, I could go on and on and on, because basically EVERY SCENE in the movie is silly and contrite in the way it depicts science, technology, animal behavior, human behavior alien behavior, military ranks, and just about anything else. Despite massive contradictions to previous "facts" released in the Star Trek universe. I mean it was mentioned before that vulcans lived for several centuries, but Spock said he came from 129 years in the future. Yet he looks to be on deaths door. Man he looked bad. Make it 300, or more years and I could appreciate that. As it was.. sheesh.


But despite all that, if you could ignore all the crap, the story isn't too bad. It's a good popcorn flick at least. Above average in that regard. Great? no, but good enough that I didn't mind the price of admission.

 

[Fritzo]

Originally posted by: HumblePie
I enjoyed the movie as a story, but that's about it. Too many things bothered me though so I just ignored what I could.

First off....

Star Trek is menat to be a GUYS show. This movie is pure sausage fest. Go look at the original series and in most backgrounds you'll see some scantily clad girl or a least a woman in a tight uniform standing in the background pretending to be working on something. All we get in this movie in a 2 minute "bedroom" scene. I know some like the new Ohura, but she was way to thin for me. Beyond that, the ship looked like the makings of a lemon party with only 2 girls that I ever saw on it.

Ignoring the fact that the new star trek casting had more in common with the movie Twilight than the original, I did enjoy the story, when I was able to ignore the most retarded sci-fi, technology, and military absurdities that were there.

I can understand all the stupid stuff in the original series. It was the 60's and they didn't know any better and neither did the audience. While it's 2009 and not every who watches the show is mental genius, give us a little credit for knowing a few things now about the universe around us. Sure not all audience goers are going to understand stuff and take things at face values, but at least try to pander to the rest of us that have a few brain cells?

First off with the absurdities.. Who the hell designed all those ships? Really a mining ship that looks like a more menacing version of the evil ship from Mass Effect? What is the purpose behind each of those spires, tentacles, or whatever that junk that made the ship look like a Outback Steak House Blooming Onion. Even if there was a purpose behind each and every single one of them, I would think a mining ship wouldn't come with an unlimited supply of missiles and weaponry. also the design of this evil includes an interior that is only a bunch of floating platforms with drop offs to an obvious horrible death in the glowing bowels of the ship. Seriously?

If the bad guy ship wasn't designed bad enough, let's look at the good guy ships. Wow, a spinning, chopping, and obviously deadly artifice that does what? Chops up pressurized water? and of course wayward people trying to teleport onto the ship. It also just happens to have an emergency access port into a tube of pressurized water right before this instrument of death so that Kirk can save Scotty at the precise moment he passes by. Scotty lands with a thud and no more water on him than what I could piss from my bladder. There isn't a torrential downpour from the release and there is no major problem to the ship from no a lack of pressurized water that should have been doing something. Oh how we love star trek ship design. My friend and I couldn't tell if the bowels of the Enterprise was a ship or a insane beer brewery. We were leaning toward it being a brewery in space with that fun collection of pipes, ramps, and pressure cauldrons all over the place.

Then lets have the bridge to the ships out front with a glass viewing port! Oh, we couldn't possibly have technology in the future that would allow the bridge of the ship to be placed in the middle and safest part with a projection of the space around using cameras. That would make too much sense! No! We would miss out on the dramatics of when the glass starts to crack in the midst of a battle! Speaking of which, if the hull or glass viewing port of a spaceship started cracking, it most likely wouldn't stop and everyone would soon be dead.


Sure we still have all the old fun bits of crap people have pointed out over the years about the Star Trek universe using sound in space for explosions, and other crap.... but when your whole story HINGES upon something sci-fi, at least make it plausible please?

***SPOILER***

Okay, the heart of the story is this "red matter" right? In the future star goes nova and for un-given reason the nova rages out of control and goes beyond its own star system in destruction and doesn't seem to stop. How this could occur I have not the foggiest but we'll assume that it can. So to stop the rampage of natures destruction, the Federation invents some "red matter" that causes black holes with the tinest amount.

Okay, so Spock gets on a ship to run out to save the universe from this overgrown nova by placing a temporary black hole in front. I assume temporary because if not, then it would cause more damage than the nova ever would. Spock's extraction and delivery system for this red matter is a giant hypodermic crack needle that looks suspiciously like an infomercial penis pump. After sucking up the red matter he hurls it into space next to the raging inferno and a nearby ship.

Upon destruction of the penis pump, a black hole is formed? Or is it a time worm hole? Make up your mind people, because both Spock's ship and the Mass Effect mining ship get sucked in, as obviously neither ship has the ability to resist the power of the ever sucking black hole. Upon which the black whole opened up some hundred or so years into the past. Okay, so since this black hole opened up, or time worm hole, or whatever, the ships can now magically escape the pull of the singularity? Seems that way because they come flying leisurely out despite the raging black hole behind them that previously they could resist and to which later on the Enterprise has to create a HUGE explosion to generate enough force to escape from.

If your whole stinking story line hinges upon this black hole, or time hole, or whatever, then please be consistent. Is it too much to ask? Hell, I would have excepted that the shipped just magically "popped" into appearance in the past as that would be umm.. plausible? Okay maybe not but at least it wouldn't be as retarded.


Seriously, I could go on and on and on, because basically EVERY SCENE in the movie is silly and contrite in the way it depicts science, technology, animal behavior, human behavior alien behavior, military ranks, and just about anything else. Despite massive contradictions to previous "facts" released in the Star Trek universe. I mean it was mentioned before that vulcans lived for several centuries, but Spock said he came from 129 years in the future. Yet he looks to be on deaths door. Man he looked bad. Make it 300, or more years and I could appreciate that. As it was.. sheesh.


But despite all that, if you could ignore all the crap, the story isn't too bad. It's a good popcorn flick at least. Above average in that regard. Great? no, but good enough that I didn't mind the price of admission.

You've been promoted from Ensign to Lieutenant Comic Book Guy.

 

[HumblePie]

Originally posted by: Fritzo

You've been promoted from Ensign to Lieutenant Comic Book Guy.

Mom will be ever so proud.

 

[state 08]

Watched it this evening.

Didn't expect much going in, but in the end I loved it.

Not a trek fan at all. Never watched a full episode. Kinda makes me want to peek at the latter episodes, but I know it's not gonna be like the movie. But yeah, JJ definitely won me over and I'll for sure catch the sequel if/when it's released.

 

[ObscureCaucasian]

Maybe this has been mentioned/discussed (didn't read all the posts in this thread) but why didn't humans just shoot the drill down as soon as it was lowered into the atmosphere??

 

[jimbob200521]

Originally posted by: ObscureCaucasian
Maybe this has been mentioned/discussed (didn't read all the posts in this thread) but why didn't humans just shoot the drill down as soon as it was lowered into the atmosphere??

That would have made a much lamer ending for the movie lol

 

[PingSpike]

Originally posted by: uhohs
I haven't seen the movie, but read the 4 issues of the tie-in comic.
the romulan mining vessel was upgraded/rebuilt with a bunch of hybrid romulan/borg tech. in the comics the ship singlehandedly takes out a whole klingon fleet/battlegroup. it should be a tier or two above that romulan ship in nemesis imho.

hm, so this movie creates a alternate timeline/universe? sigh.

That seems totally unnecessary to make it's battle prowess believeable. 100 years is a long time, it stands to reason that even basic utilitarian vessel armaments and defenses would be much better then the cutting edge equipment from the past. Still, I suppose some story is required to explain spock's awesome ship from the future being captured, but that vessel didn't strike me as any kind of amazingly powerful warship...more like a purpose built science vessel.

 

[uhohs]

yeah, spock's ship was just a fancy cutting edge science vessel built by geordi, it was mainly touted as being able to withstand something(pressure/exploding sun/blackhole/i forget). nothing about weapons or battle prowess.

 

[bsobel]

That a super nova could threaten the galaxy or even destroy a planet in an adjacent system.

Galaxy no, nearby system, absolutely. http://www.space.com/scienceas...ova_threat_021216.html
http://stupendous.rit.edu/richmond/answers/snrisks.txt

From NASA "The author concludes that a supernova has to be within 10 parsecs (30 light years) or so to be dangerous to life on Earth. This is because the atmosphere shields us from most dangerous radiations. Astronauts in orbit may be in danger if a supernova is within 1000 parsecs or so. No stars currently within 20 parsecs will go supernova within the next few million years. "

That Spock could watch the destruction of Vulcan for a near by planet, even one in the same system as Vulcan. If Mars blew up today the only thing I would notice is one less red dot in the sky tonight.

He was basically watching from a Vulcan moon, not another planet.

 

[alkemyst]

The movie was awesome really....I liked the old school series and hated the later movies mostly. I liked the campy-ness of it all in the past.

This movie captured that. They had action and character development...I don't know how others said they were one-dimensional...

I will agree I love seeing movies at home...but this one sounded great and we were on vacation...picked a matinee on a Thursday (we also saw Wolverine and learned we were the only ones that paid for two tickets during matinee time...that said the CS desk said 'one should pay for every movie they view, but we do not count final seating').

maybe 10 people in each show and all quiet except for one gangbanger type that got 'fuck mang we got game going...I am out of 'er' right at the first ship of Star Trek went down.

dumbass dropped his phone and then kicked it down a row.

 

[olds]

Spoiler






In this movie, Spock's mom died. But I remember her in the sixties series.

 

[UpgradeFailure]

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat
Spoiler






In this movie, Spock's mom died. But I remember her in the sixties series.

The whole movie is pretty much an alternate timeline. That's just one more thing to it

 

[Baked]

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat
Spoiler






In this movie, Spock's mom died. But I remember her in the sixties series.

Winona Ryder was not in the original series!

 

[olds]

Originally posted by: Baked

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat
Spoiler






In this movie, Spock's mom died. But I remember her in the sixties series.

Winona Ryder was not in the original series!

http://www.cinematocasa.it/public/images/janewyatt1.jpg

 

[zerocool84]

Originally posted by: UpgradeFailure

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat
Spoiler






In this movie, Spock's mom died. But I remember her in the sixties series.

The whole movie is pretty much an alternate timeline. That's just one more thing to it

Yep this movie they basically said F every other show/movie and just redid it all and since it's going to be a trilogy it's ganna be even more wtf.

 

[ProfJohn]

Personally I think it will get better.

We are done with the whole time travel and set up and can now focus on characters and action etc.

The Dark Knight and X2 are examples of second movies that are better than the first because they don't have to waste time explaining everything.

 

[guyver01]

I bet it plays out like this:

2nd movie: setting up vulcan colonies, and enterprise exploring the galaxy.

3rd movie: 31st century Temporal Prime Directive Enforcing police go back in time and stop Spock and Nero from going back in time and messing up the timeline, thus resetting everything back the way it was..

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: TruePaige

Doesn't address that she looks trashy.

If your points hold true than she was just another skanky student fishing to be the best in all the wrong ways, crossing the student / instructor barrier.

dude, you have to be trolling. If you missed that Spock was her instructor and they had history already...you are either stirring a pot here or did not see the movie.

Of course mental retardation could be an option or that you simply hate women.

 

[Madwand1]

Originally posted by: ProfJohn
Personally I think it will get better.

I agree, it'd be hard not to get better.

But any hope of it being good from my perspective were hopelessly shattered with this release taking its various liberties and thinking audience not seriously. I paid to see this one when it came out; I'm not going to fall for the hype on the next one.

 

[purbeast0]

i saw this movie friday night.

probably the best movie i've seen this year, it was completely awesome and entertaining! i did not want it to end.

i never liked the shows and found tem pretty boring when i was younger, and i thought previous movies were just okay. this by far was more enjoyable than either of those. it actually makes me kind of want to check out the old shows again now.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: AAman
This movie was only for people who never watched the original series as nothing made sense (almost every detail contradicted the original series and TNG)...and yes I read the comic prequels after my roomie wasted money on 'em

I didn't get into the current series that much, but I have seen all the movies. I still watch re-runs of the old star trek regularly.

IMHO it got back closer to the campiness of the original series. Kirk as a womanizer, Chekov has the n00b the pulls out winning strategies seemingly randomly, Sulu as extremely stoid and 'manily', etc. Even the expedable crew member made his appearance.

They got the mannerisms and expressions down. I personally think the newer series got too serious and lost a lot of the entertainment value.

My wife hates these types of movies normally, but like Transformers she really enjoyed this one because it was not all 'serious business'.

 

[boomerang]

We just got back from seeing it. My wife and I both liked it very, very much. I'm old enough to have seen the original series on TV and I thought it followed the original series well enough to suit my tastes. I'm far from a trekkie though. As a side note, it's funny how good the shows were during that time period and how lame they seem now.

We both thought it was pretty cool that we could determine who was what character from the series before the formal introduction. I was wondering when Scottie was going to make his debut, but I knew it was him before he even opened his mouth.

I view movies as entertainment and not much more. I don't need all the "I's" dotted and the "T's" crossed.

The lovin' goin' on between Spock and Uhura caught me by surprise though.

If this is part off a trilogy as was said here, I'll be looking forward to seeing them all. This was so much better than the previous movies.

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: nerp
Ok, quick question. Is this movie worth watching if you're just into space and the unviverse and not really interested in star trek stuff? Like, is the movie not super dorky with goofy looking aliens, annoying love dramas and lots of posing around rocks with ray guns? Or is it? Are there a lot of space/timewarp dimension bending cool nebula scenes and shit like that? This is really the deciding factor whether I spend some bucks on this. I like starwars, so use that as your guide.

it is super dorky. I couldn't help laughing throughout, especially when the insider lines triggered spastic rounds of mighty dork applause.

It was fun, not entirely stupid for sure; but very dorky.

EDIT: I should also say that I've never been into Star Trek, always thought it lame and stupid. Always loved Star Wars. This flick, however, is far superior to the new Star Wars movies.

There is all kinds of cool space shit going on, too.