Star Wars Episode 1 review

[shortylickens]

I know Star Wars 1 sucked balls. I dont need those balls rubbed in my face 10 years later.

EDIT:
OK, watched the first segment. Dudes voice almost killed my brain. And its nothing I didnt already know or havent heard before. BUT, he lays it out so nicely that its worth listening to.

Number one thing ANY movie needs: A protagonist.
And Ep 1 doesnt have one. It should have been Anankin, since the whole Star Wars saga is really the story of Anakin, how he turns evil, and how his son overcomes his evil.
But we dont see Anakin until halfway through the flick, and NOTHING they do makes him seem like the hero or the anti-hero.
As opposed the Ep 4 which had multiple heroes and anti-heroes.

Number two thing ANY movie needs: An antagonist. Whether its Man vs man, or man vs nature, or whatever, Ep 1 does NOT have it. Those stupid little gay aliens? NOT antagonists. They are annoying pussies. And even though we know where Senator Palpatine will end up, they dont do anything in the first movie to make him seem like the villian.

 

[Fritzo]

Marked for later

 

[KB]

Just finished all 7 videos. His voice worried me at first, but his jokes and his points kept me listening. I now have an increased love for the original trilogy and a greater hatred of the new trilogy. I hope when Lucas dies someone redoes the whole POS trilogy.

 

[tmc]

marked

 

[The Boston Dangler]

much, much better than actual star wars movies
9/10

 

[Don Vito Corleone]

I don't like Episode 1, but it's way better than Episode 2. I actually quite liked Episode 3, probably better than Return of the Jedi (Episode 6).

 

[nick1985]

marked

 

[ktehmok]

Pretty funny. It was like Buffalo Bob meets the fat comic book guy from the Simpson's.

 

[adlep]

I don't like Episode 1, but it's way better than Episode 2. I actually quite liked Episode 3, probably better than Return of the Jedi (Episode 6).

So you are saying that the Ep 2 is even worst than the EP1?
How is this even possible?

Also, the Ep6. was great...That last scene where Luke and Lea and droids are looking at the center of galaxy is just great....
The original trilogy > New Star Wars...

 

[shortylickens]

Alright, I finally got done watching all of them.
Now I'm depressed. Until it was analyzed this deep I didnt know how incredibly bad the movie was. Its like George Lucas deliberately set out to do everything wrong you could possibly do in a movie.
It should be illegal to fuck up this bad.

 

[Kadarin]

Someone should sit George Lucas down and make him watch these. Then, at gunpoint, make him give the franchise to James Cameron so that it can be redone right.

 

[mcurphy]

I enjoyed the review. I watched most of it, skipped through some parts. I thought the guys voice sounded a lot like Buffalo Bill (Ted Levine) from Silence of the Lambs.

 

[wwswimming]

once i was at a drug-testing place talking to the manager, who had an office full of Star Trek stuff.

i asked him, "if Star Trek fans are called Trekkies, what are Star Wars fans called ?"

he said, "Stupid".

i still think Phantom Menace was a classic movie. i'd watch it again.

Qui Gon Jin to young Anakin, "your focus determines your reality".

full of wisdom this movie is. teach us new way to talk it does.

 

[Ricochet]

I enjoyed the review. I watched most of it, skipped through some parts. I thought the guys voice sounded a lot like Buffalo Bill (Ted Levine) from Silence of the Lambs.

Good point. Maybe that was the intent seeing as he has a woman in his basement (or crawl space) all chained up.

 

[PlasmaBomb]

Interesting...

 

[dennilfloss]

Good point. Maybe that was the intent seeing as he has a woman in his basement (or crawl space) all chained up.

Don't we all?:twisted:

(dennil doesn't have a basement/crawlspace.)

 

[Alienwho]

This is freaking hilarious.

eew gross, my post is touching one of denil's posts. Someone decontaminate me.

 

[ktehmok]

This is freaking hilarious.

eew gross, my post is touching one of denil's posts. Someone decontaminate me.

Don't worry. I'm sure whatever you have won't rub off on him.

 

[Born2bwire]

Hahaha. I just finished this and was going to post a thread about it but lo and behold, search saved me from further public humiliation.

But yeah, this is pretty damn awesome and depressing in showing how many things the first trilogy did right that we just take for granted. Jesus Fucking Christ is the opening scene fanfuckingtastic.

 

[shortylickens]

Hahaha. I just finished this and was going to post a thread about it but lo and behold, search saved me from further public humiliation.

But yeah, this is pretty damn awesome and depressing in showing how many things the first trilogy did right that we just take for granted. Jesus Fucking Christ is the opening scene fanfuckingtastic.

Proper Star Wars is space opera. It is NOT supposed to be about deep political intrigue, and given his apparant skill in that arena, George Lucas should not have gone in that direction.

Good space opera is a lot like Shakespeare in that the concepts are actually quite simple. Greed. Anger. Love. Hate. Vengeance. Loyalty. Deception. And so forth.
Originally he got these stories from old samurai legends and just converted them into scifi, which is fucking brialliant if you think about it.

But something bad happened along the way. Lucas lost his edge. I found a website with a pretty good explanation about it. Lemme go find the article.

Here it is:
http://www.cracked.com/article_15631_p2.html
The main problem is Lucas lost his demons as he got older. It was a screwed up young man who made Star Wars. Not a content old codger.

 

[Born2bwire]

Proper Star Wars is space opera. It is NOT supposed to be about deep political intrigue, and given his apparant skill in that arena, George Lucas should not have gone in that direction.

Good space opera is a lot like Shakespeare in that the concepts are actually quite simple. Greed. Anger. Love. Hate. Vengeance. Loyalty. Deception. And so forth.
Originally he got these stories from old samurai legends and just converted them into scifi, which is fucking brialliant if you think about it.

But something bad happened along the way. Lucas lost his edge. I found a website with a pretty good explanation about it. Lemme go find the article.

Here it is:
http://www.cracked.com/article_15631_p2.html
The main problem is Lucas lost his demons as he got older. It was a screwed up young man who made Star Wars. Not a content old codger.

....

....

Is... is your avatar wearing blackface?

That's kinda not cool man.


Oh yeah Cracked is pretty much on the money with their articles, not bad for a bastard ripoff child of Mad Magazine.

 

[shortylickens]

My avatar IS black, not wearing black.

 

[Born2bwire]

My avatar IS black, not wearing black.

 

[SirStev0]

watched the whole thing. hilarious and well done.

I wish someone could make Lucas sit down and watch this.

 

[Fritzo]

I know Star Wars 1 sucked balls. I dont need those balls rubbed in my face 10 years later.

EDIT:
OK, watched the first segment. Dudes voice almost killed my brain. And its nothing I didnt already know or havent heard before. BUT, he lays it out so nicely that its worth listening to.

Number one thing ANY movie needs: A protagonist.
And Ep 1 doesnt have one. It should have been Anankin, since the whole Star Wars saga is really the story of Anakin, how he turns evil, and how his son overcomes his evil.
But we dont see Anakin until halfway through the flick, and NOTHING they do makes him seem like the hero or the anti-hero.
As opposed the Ep 4 which had multiple heroes and anti-heroes.

Number two thing ANY movie needs: An antagonist. Whether its Man vs man, or man vs nature, or whatever, Ep 1 does NOT have it. Those stupid little gay aliens? NOT antagonists. They are annoying pussies. And even though we know where Senator Palpatine will end up, they dont do anything in the first movie to make him seem like the villian.

I love how you gave your opinion before you even knew what you were talking about