Stolen Joke

mitchel

Banned
Mar 27, 2008
300
0
0
A forty-year-old man went to see his doctor for a check up. The man was consumed with living to be 110 years old. So when the man?s doctor came into the examination room the man asked him, ?Doctor, what do you think my chances are to live to be 110 years old??

His doctor looks at him and says, ?Well let me ask you some questions, and I will try to answer your question.?
?First, do you or have you ever used illegal drugs??
?Never Doctor, drugs are dangerous and could encourage other unhealthy behavior? the man told his Doctor.

?Alright, do you drink alcohol at all, like a good wine or a fine cognac??
the man said,? oh no, doctor, alcohol can cause cirrhosis of the liver and ruin your health.?

?Ok?, the doctor said, ?well do you use any tobacco products, like fine cigars, or a smooth snus??
?Never?, said the man, ?you know doctor that all tobacco is, is a ticket to an early grave.?

?Well, I see her on your chart that you are single, so have you, or do you have sex with many partners??
?No, doctor, there are just too many diseases out there to even contemplate sex with even one partner let alone many, I am an avowed bachelor and I will never involve myself with sexual relationships, nor have I ever?, said the man.

The doctor looks at his patient with frank astonishment on his face and says to him, ?You don?t do drugs, you don?t drink, you won?t use any tobacco products, and you refuse to have sex with any one, I am sure you have a very good chance of living to be 110 years old, but why the Hell you would want to, is beyond me.?
 

paulney

Diamond Member
Sep 24, 2003
6,912
1
0
*golf clap with one hand*

He'll be here the whole week, ladies and gentlemen.
 

BoomerD

No Lifer
Feb 26, 2006
63,396
11,751
136
Still looking for the joke.


Oh, you mean that drivel in the original post? Hmm, you didn't steal much.
 
Feb 6, 2007
16,432
1
81
You actually went to the trouble to steal that... Well played.

I'll see your "joke" and raise you a cheap pun: cirumcision is for people whose parents rushed into a decision half-cocked.

Your move Mr. Bond.
 

mitchel

Banned
Mar 27, 2008
300
0
0
Originally posted by: Atomic Playboy
You actually went to the trouble to steal that... Well played.

I'll see your "joke" and raise you a cheap pun: cirumcision is for people whose parents rushed into a decision half-cocked.

Your move Mr. Bond.

Very well Mr. Atom,

What's Mary short for?


She's got no legs.
 

Mucho

Guest
Oct 20, 2001
8,232
2
0
Opportunities Missed

There was a very cautious man
Who never laughed or played;
He never risked, he never tried,
He never sang or prayed.

And when he one day passed away
His insurance was denied;
For since he never really lived,
They claimed he never died!

Source unknown
 

ja1484

Platinum Member
Dec 31, 2007
2,438
2
0
Originally posted by: mitchel
Originally posted by: Atomic Playboy
You actually went to the trouble to steal that... Well played.

I'll see your "joke" and raise you a cheap pun: cirumcision is for people whose parents rushed into a decision half-cocked.

Your move Mr. Bond.

Very well Mr. Atom,

What's Mary short for?


She's got no legs.


Christ, at least capitalize the "last name".

It's the *delivery* that matters you ass!

As for the original joke: saw it coming from the first physician question.
 

cKGunslinger

Lifer
Nov 29, 1999
16,408
57
91
Originally posted by: ja1484
Originally posted by: mitchel
Originally posted by: Atomic Playboy
You actually went to the trouble to steal that... Well played.

I'll see your "joke" and raise you a cheap pun: cirumcision is for people whose parents rushed into a decision half-cocked.

Your move Mr. Bond.

Very well Mr. Atom,

What's Mary short for?


She's got no legs.


Christ, at least capitalize the "last name".

It's the *delivery* that matters you ass!



Try reading that again.
 

paulxcook

Diamond Member
May 1, 2005
4,277
1
0
Originally posted by: ja1484
Originally posted by: mitchel
Originally posted by: Atomic Playboy
You actually went to the trouble to steal that... Well played.

I'll see your "joke" and raise you a cheap pun: cirumcision is for people whose parents rushed into a decision half-cocked.

Your move Mr. Bond.

Very well Mr. Atom,

What's Mary short for?


She's got no legs.


Christ, at least capitalize the "last name".

It's the *delivery* that matters you ass!

As for the original joke: saw it coming from the first physician question.


*The Price is Right fail noise*
 

Mucho

Guest
Oct 20, 2001
8,232
2
0
Some times you just have to ask yourself ' Will I live to be 80?'

I recently chose a new primary care physician.
After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly
well' for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him,
'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'
He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco or drink alcoholic beverages?'
'No,' I replied. 'I don't do drugs, either.'
Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?'
I said, 'No, my other doctor said that all red meat is unhealthy!'
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating,
fishing or relaxin g in the beach?' 'No, I don't,' I said.
He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'
'No,' I said. 'I don't do any of those things.'
Then he looked at me and asked,
'Then why do you give a SHIT ?'

annon
 
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