Originally posted by: spidey07
In another groundbreaking study, the earth revolves around the sun.
"We lie so much that often we don't even think of it as lying at all, but as 'relationship management'"
That's the problem. Lying is never acceptable. Don't lie.
Yeah I get into arguments with women about this issue all the time.
First recent argument I can recall was actually with a waitress. I dont recall how it got started but she ended up saying "you know, you dont have to be a jerk about it".
I was utterly confused. Asked her what she meant and apparantly, my honest opinion of salad was not appreciated. Talked to her a bit more and she flat out stated that I should never be 100% honest with women. Honesty does not mean full disclosure. Apparently there is a point (in any topic) where I am supposed to stop short of full honesty.
Wish I had heard that when I was in junior high. It explained why I have difficulties with women.
Another recent discussion I recall was when I asked a girl if she smoked and she said 'no'. Saw her smoking about 5 minutes later. Mentioned it to another lady friend the next day and she said: "Well, she probably said that to avoid an argument or something". I tried calmly to explain to her that smoking didnt bother me, I was just curious cuz I thought I could smell it on her. But lying to me would definitely start an argument, and one more serious than the subject of smoking.
And this is why I cant stand talking to women. They lie when they want. They lie when they're bored. They lie to themselves. They lie to keep you from knowing things. They lie out of habit because they dont know what else to do. They lie to keep in practice for major stuff later on. They lie to mess with your head. They lie to hurt you. They lie to protect themselves in ways that dont seem very protective. They lie and then make up excuses about it. They rationalize every fucked up action they ever made. Everything they do is perfectly acceptable including constant lying. And it drives me nuts, especially when they harrass men about not being honest. But then when you are honest they get upset. Then they start fights, which often include lies.
Fucking insane. All of them.
I used to wonder why my buddies would lie to them, then I realized thats what they learned. They learned relationships work better when you lie to the woman, because thats what they do and its also what they expect from you. If you dont lie, if you are too honest, too often (i.e. at all, and ever) you are going to have few and unpleasant relationships with them.
EDIT: I read that over a few times and realized I need to make something clear.
I dont hold it against them. I realize its the way they are and most of them cant help it. I try to take the good with the bad and assume that even though a girl might make me feel good and be lots of fun, she still has her bad points. On those rare occasions I have a steady girlfriend I try focus on her good qualities and always assume she's full of shit. When I assume its constant then its easy to forget about it and just enjoy the relationship.