Stupid ex-girlfriends

[D1gger]

Originally posted by: GrantMeThePower

Thanks to all who lent support. Ignoring the text was probably the smartest thing to do, but I just couldn't. I think anyone who's really been in love and hurt understands the process of moving on and that sometimes its impossible to do the best thing. My goal is just not to do something dumb. (like 'getting under someone to get over someone') I want to be a GOOD person and be healthy. Self destructive behavior, destroying the good memories, lessening the experiences we had...those aren't good in the long run. (though i do resort to unhealthy nights of drinking alone! lol....not good i know, but you do what you gotta do)

Too late for the avoiding doing something dumb part. By responding to her, you are inviting her to walk back into your life and screw you over again. You really need to cut off all communication with her if you want to get past this.

If you really had to send back a text, you should have just sent a note saying "Do I know you?"

 

[halik]

Originally posted by: child of wonder
Tell her:

"Unless you have an interest in a romantic relationship with me, just leave me alone so I can move on. kthxbye."

QFMFT!

 

[Chrono]

That's why I say, party it up... have a lot of sex... then maybe settle down in the future... around 5 years later or something.

 

[alkemyst]

<pikachu>I CHOOSE YOU!</pikachu>

 

[DougK62]

Originally posted by: GrantMeThePower
Well I just couldn't stop thinking about it so basically I wrote her-no fronting no faking. Told her just that I'm not great and that just trying to move on. Told her to take care.

A girl ripped your heart out and stomped on it and then a few weeks later you give her exactly what she wants just like a little pansy would. I think you need more respect for yourself.

 

[Accipiter22]

Originally posted by: child of wonder
Tell her:

"Unless you have an interest in a romantic relationship with me, just leave me alone so I can move on. kthxbye."

WINNER. I'd go that route. Honestly, you obviously like this girl and that's what you want. If she doesn't want that there's no reason for her to be contacting you at all. Sounds like she broke up with you, doesn't want to go out with you again, but still wants to be friends.

 

[Accipiter22]

Originally posted by: GrantMeThePower
Well I just couldn't stop thinking about it so basically I wrote her-no fronting no faking. Told her just that I'm not great and that just trying to move on. Told her to take care.

I understand she's just young and immature. I don't want to bash her to make her feel worse. I don't want to "try to get back together". I don't want to be a d!ck. Being real and honest is usually the best course. Now I'll just go back to trying to move along in life.

I know there are other fish in the sea. I know that I'll be fine in time. I also have a great deal of respect for her, not for what she did to me or who she is now, but for what we shared together. I don't want to tarnish those memories and respect by lying now or making things up.

She's being selfish and acting like an immature b*tch. But she is a sweet girl who meant a whole lot to me. We had a very great relationship. I deserve it to myself to maintain that dignity and sanctity of what we had even if its hard now and doens't make me "seem" to her like I'm great even if i'm not.

Thanks to all who lent support. Ignoring the text was probably the smartest thing to do, but I just couldn't. I think anyone who's really been in love and hurt understands the process of moving on and that sometimes its impossible to do the best thing. My goal is just not to do something dumb. (like 'getting under someone to get over someone') I want to be a GOOD person and be healthy. Self destructive behavior, destroying the good memories, lessening the experiences we had...those aren't good in the long run. (though i do resort to unhealthy nights of drinking alone! lol....not good i know, but you do what you gotta do)

good job! Seriously, sounds like you did what you wanted to do, and didn't come off week

 

[GrantMeThePower]

Originally posted by: Accipiter22

Originally posted by: GrantMeThePower
Well I just couldn't stop thinking about it so basically I wrote her-no fronting no faking. Told her just that I'm not great and that just trying to move on. Told her to take care.

I understand she's just young and immature. I don't want to bash her to make her feel worse. I don't want to "try to get back together". I don't want to be a d!ck. Being real and honest is usually the best course. Now I'll just go back to trying to move along in life.

I know there are other fish in the sea. I know that I'll be fine in time. I also have a great deal of respect for her, not for what she did to me or who she is now, but for what we shared together. I don't want to tarnish those memories and respect by lying now or making things up.

She's being selfish and acting like an immature b*tch. But she is a sweet girl who meant a whole lot to me. We had a very great relationship. I deserve it to myself to maintain that dignity and sanctity of what we had even if its hard now and doens't make me "seem" to her like I'm great even if i'm not.

Thanks to all who lent support. Ignoring the text was probably the smartest thing to do, but I just couldn't. I think anyone who's really been in love and hurt understands the process of moving on and that sometimes its impossible to do the best thing. My goal is just not to do something dumb. (like 'getting under someone to get over someone') I want to be a GOOD person and be healthy. Self destructive behavior, destroying the good memories, lessening the experiences we had...those aren't good in the long run. (though i do resort to unhealthy nights of drinking alone! lol....not good i know, but you do what you gotta do)

good job! Seriously, sounds like you did what you wanted to do, and didn't come off week

Thanks, man. Its hard to do the 'right' thing. So much of what she does is act immature and irresponsible and I really wanted to take the high road...no bs. no games. no trying to get one last romp or 'buttsecks' lol...just be a man and stand up for the truth-even if the truth is that I'm hurting its harder to say that.

i know i didn't do what most people here suggested....but i'm surprised that more of the older people dont see that it was probably a good thing to say, if i was going to say anything at all (still think one step up was probably not to say anything at all..)

 

[ch33zw1z]

soooooo...cell #?!

 

[crt1530]

People who choose to be with born again evangelicals deserve all of the craziness and drama that will descend upon them.

 

[sao123]

Originally posted by: GrantMeThePower
Grr...this girl was like the love of my life. I've had 4 girlfriends of over a year and a half, and when I was with this one i knew I wanted to spend the rest of my days with her. We were immensely happy. And then she went off the deep end and became a born again, with goals of "walking in the footsteps of Jesus" and "living a crazy life that makes no sense but is the path God has for me" and said she needed to rescue people and help the world....on her own.

So she left me, hurt me (by trying to help people, lol), and really...it sucked.

That was six weeks ago. I've still been sad, obviously, still think about her daily and just do what I can to get through the days.

Last night she texted me, "Hey, i've been thinking about you a lot recently and hope you're doing well. feel free to call or text if you want".

B!tch!!!!! What is that text supposed to do, but increase the pain? How do I respond? Eff that. Its just more selfishness and she's feeling guilt on some level and wants to know I'm ok.

If I write back and tell her the truth-I'm sad and hurt and think about her all the time-it does nothing...sounds melodramatic and laced with guilt. If i pretend I'm great...well eff that too, because then she'll think, "awesome. He's great, i'm great, woo hoo!" So i'm just not going to write her back, BUT now i'm stuck with the thoughts that she's restirred up.

PSA: CHICKS SUCK.

Oh yeah, and add on top that my birthday (that obviously we were going to spend together) is next week and I've been sad that I won't have her around, and she does this to get me to realize it even more. Hatred becomes me.

Having a hard time accepting that her chosen career in religous works was more important to her that a dating relationship with you? the path she has chosen makes perfect sense to her...

She isnt feeling guilty and it isnt selfish... you are the one with the unrealistic expectation that she is either your SO or nothing at all.
4 girlfriends in 1.5 years? Your relationships do not last long enough to recieve the level of commitment, you seem to be expecting. You werent engaged.

Originally posted by: GrantMeThePower

LOL...no, i didn't say "oh of course I understand". I told her she was making a big mistake but that she was too young to realize it. I told her that in her quest to help people she's really hurting people and being selfish. I told her that she doesn't have to do these things alone.

But I said, do what you have to do. Just don't expect me to be happy about it and be your friend afterwards.

I can see wht she might want to do this alone without you. You obviously disagree with her choices, and instead of trying to be supportive, you quick to judge, criticize and ultimately ridicule her. You're nothing more than just dead weight. The one being selfish here is you.

 

[clamum]

Man, only one request for pics so far? You guys are slipping bad.

PICS.

 

[otispunkmeyer]

Originally posted by: GrantMeThePower
Grr...this girl was like the love of my life. I've had 4 girlfriends of over a year and a half, and when I was with this one i knew I wanted to spend the rest of my days with her. We were immensely happy. And then she went off the deep end and became a born again, with goals of "walking in the footsteps of Jesus" and "living a crazy life that makes no sense but is the path God has for me" and said she needed to rescue people and help the world....on her own.

So she left me, hurt me (by trying to help people, lol), and really...it sucked.

That was six weeks ago. I've still been sad, obviously, still think about her daily and just do what I can to get through the days.

Last night she texted me, "Hey, i've been thinking about you a lot recently and hope you're doing well. feel free to call or text if you want".

B!tch!!!!! What is that text supposed to do, but increase the pain? How do I respond? Eff that. Its just more selfishness and she's feeling guilt on some level and wants to know I'm ok.

If I write back and tell her the truth-I'm sad and hurt and think about her all the time-it does nothing...sounds melodramatic and laced with guilt. If i pretend I'm great...well eff that too, because then she'll think, "awesome. He's great, i'm great, woo hoo!" So i'm just not going to write her back, BUT now i'm stuck with the thoughts that she's restirred up.

PSA: CHICKS SUCK.

Oh yeah, and add on top that my birthday (that obviously we were going to spend together) is next week and I've been sad that I won't have her around, and she does this to get me to realize it even more. Hatred becomes me.

heh dude your not dying of terminal cancer or anything lol

time to reach for the poon

 

[GrantMeThePower]

Originally posted by: sao123

4 girlfriends in 1.5 years? Your relationships do not last long enough to recieve the level of commitment, you seem to be expecting. You werent engaged.

Dude I must have not written clearly enough....i meant that, over the past 12 years, I've had 4 girlfriends of at least 1.5 years together. The meaning was supposed to be that I've been there done that with serious relationships and that this one stood out as different.

Furthermore, with regards to the rest of your response-we were together for over a year and a half....this stuff just poped up. Before that, there was nothing more serious to her than our relationship and we did talk about marrige and everything.

The selfishness with her was not just that she broke up with me...it was the manner with which she dealt with many things in her life...yes, she went crazy.

One example is that she lives with her brother...she met a homeless lady that needed help. So she took her in to live at her place for a while...without the OK from her brother. When he was upset that their studio apartment was not being occupied by a homeless person she didn't get it and thought he had no heart. Do you see what I mean? I'm sorry I didn't go into all the gory details about her selfishness, but it transcended the simple "i'm upset because you broke up with me selfish girl".

 

[sao123]

Originally posted by: KhoiFather
Bang her hardcore style and nut in her face and say I'm off to go help other people =D

Wow, Im impressed... you actually added something completely helpful & relevent to the conversation without even being derogatory.
You are a complete moron.

 

[thecoolnessrune]

I'm a Christian and my girl is a Christian, stable, humble, conservative, and a wonderful woman... I don't have to worry about who she's sleeping with and I can relax knowing all is well. In other words, you can say you hate it, but in the end us Christians have the least of worries with women. Sure, in this world of sluts its hard to find one eventually, even when she claims to be a Christian. But once you have her, we can have a peace you all will never really receive..

Life is good

 

[apac]

Originally posted by: thecoolnessrune
I'm a Christian and my girl is a Christian, stable, humble, conservative, and a wonderful woman... I don't have to worry about who she's sleeping with and I can relax knowing all is well. In other words, you can say you hate it, but in the end us Christians have the least of worries with women. Sure, in this world of sluts its hard to find one eventually, even when she claims to be a Christian. But once you have her, we can have a peace you all will never really receive..

Life is good

Dude, what? That was the most close-minded, ego stroking, nonsensical reply to a breakup YAGT that I've ever read.

 

[Steve]

Originally posted by: thecoolnessrune
I'm a Christian and my girl is a Christian, stable, humble, conservative, and a wonderful woman... I don't have to worry about who she's sleeping with and I can relax knowing all is well. In other words, you can say you hate it, but in the end us Christians have the least of worries with women. Sure, in this world of sluts its hard to find one eventually, even when she claims to be a Christian. But once you have her, we can have a peace you all will never really receive..

Life is good

I hope you're being sarcastic. As a passive, occasionally practising Christian, I find this embarrassing. BTW, this is not a religious thread, don't take it there.

 

[effowe]

Originally posted by: thecoolnessrune
I'm a Christian and my girl is a Christian, stable, humble, conservative, and a wonderful woman... I don't have to worry about who she's sleeping with and I can relax knowing all is well. In other words, you can say you hate it, but in the end us Christians have the least of worries with women. Sure, in this world of sluts its hard to find one eventually, even when she claims to be a Christian. But once you have her, we can have a peace you all will never really receive..

Life is good

Right... So christian girls never cheat then? Everyone has faults and many people cheat. What do you have to say about Ted Haggard or the many other prominent priests that have not only cheated but done many things that are quite sinful. BTW your last sentence about having a peace we will never understand is quite condescending and making a baseless statement like that comes off as arrogant.

 

[Steve]

Originally posted by: sao123

Originally posted by: KhoiFather
Bang her hardcore style and nut in her face and say I'm off to go help other people =D

Wow, Im impressed... you actually added something completely helpful & relevent to the conversation without even being derogatory.
You are a complete moron.

Oh come on, lighten up. I found that pretty funny.

 

[GrantMeThePower]

Originally posted by: apac

Originally posted by: thecoolnessrune
I'm a Christian and my girl is a Christian, stable, humble, conservative, and a wonderful woman... I don't have to worry about who she's sleeping with and I can relax knowing all is well. In other words, you can say you hate it, but in the end us Christians have the least of worries with women. Sure, in this world of sluts its hard to find one eventually, even when she claims to be a Christian. But once you have her, we can have a peace you all will never really receive..

Life is good

Dude, what? That was the most close-minded, ego stroking, nonsensical reply to a breakup YAGT that I've ever read.

lol, seriously....i have NO problems with Christians. I always knew she was a christian. We had a long time of happiness. It was when she thought she needed to give up her own life and be as Jesus really wanted (which I also disagreed with her about....she thought she had to be LIKE jesus, not just as he may have wanted. She couldn't differentiate the two. She thought possesions were bad because she shouldn't have what the poorest of the poor dont have and that she should like like them...on and on.....thats when it got nuts).

But good for you dude. :thumbsup: be happy and best of luck.

 

[moonbit]

Originally posted by: GrantMeThePower

The selfishness with her was not just that she broke up with me...it was the manner with which she dealt with many things in her life...yes, she went crazy.

One example is that she lives with her brother...she met a homeless lady that needed help. So she took her in to live at her place for a while...without the OK from her brother. When he was upset that their studio apartment was not being occupied by a homeless person she didn't get it and thought he had no heart. Do you see what I mean? I'm sorry I didn't go into all the gory details about her selfishness, but it transcended the simple "i'm upset because you broke up with me selfish girl".

It sounds like this girl needs to figure out how her actions affect those around her. Not an easy type of person to be around in any situation.

IMO, you did the best thing by telling her how you were doing honestly and simply. Maybe she can start to learn that her actions, no matter how good intentioned, can hurt others.

It hurts like a sonuvabeeyotch whenever someone you love cuts you off, no matter the reason. The disappointment that this girl is not the person you're going to spend your life with is just the icing on the sh!t cake.

 

[apac]

Originally posted by: GrantMeThePower

Originally posted by: apac

Originally posted by: thecoolnessrune
I'm a Christian and my girl is a Christian, stable, humble, conservative, and a wonderful woman... I don't have to worry about who she's sleeping with and I can relax knowing all is well. In other words, you can say you hate it, but in the end us Christians have the least of worries with women. Sure, in this world of sluts its hard to find one eventually, even when she claims to be a Christian. But once you have her, we can have a peace you all will never really receive..

Life is good

Dude, what? That was the most close-minded, ego stroking, nonsensical reply to a breakup YAGT that I've ever read.

lol, seriously....i have NO problems with Christians. I always knew she was a christian. We had a long time of happiness. It was when she thought she needed to give up her own life and be as Jesus really wanted (which I also disagreed with her about....she thought she had to be LIKE jesus, not just as he may have wanted. She couldn't differentiate the two. She thought possesions were bad because she shouldn't have what the poorest of the poor dont have and that she should like like them...on and on.....thats when it got nuts).

But good for you dude. :thumbsup: be happy and best of luck.

Looks like you've already taken some good steps in moving on. Just because you think about her every day doesn't mean you still want to be with her. Funny how you can love someone and put up with all their sh!t for a while, but in retrospect you realize that some girls are just nuts. Ask yourself - do you truly think it would have worked out in the long run considering who she became (versus who she was when you met)?

 

[GrantMeThePower]

Originally posted by: moonbit

Originally posted by: GrantMeThePower

The selfishness with her was not just that she broke up with me...it was the manner with which she dealt with many things in her life...yes, she went crazy.

One example is that she lives with her brother...she met a homeless lady that needed help. So she took her in to live at her place for a while...without the OK from her brother. When he was upset that their studio apartment was not being occupied by a homeless person she didn't get it and thought he had no heart. Do you see what I mean? I'm sorry I didn't go into all the gory details about her selfishness, but it transcended the simple "i'm upset because you broke up with me selfish girl".

It sounds like this girl needs to figure out how her actions affect those around her. Not an easy type of person to be around in any situation.

IMO, you did the best thing by telling her how you were doing honestly and simply. Maybe she can start to learn that her actions, no matter how good intentioned, can hurt others.

It hurts like a sonuvabeeyotch whenever someone you love cuts you off, no matter the reason. The disappointment that this girl is not the person you're going to spend your life with is just the icing on the sh!t cake.

That's a really good point. Hopefully she does learn how her actions do have an effect on those around her, and especially on those that care about her. As soon as she started "living like christ" she started hurting everyone...myself, her brother, her mother, her friends. She just thinks that those are the sacrifices she has to make to really create change for the poor.

Its really sad.

 

[GrantMeThePower]

Originally posted by: apac
Looks like you've already taken some good steps in moving on. Just because you think about her every day doesn't mean you still want to be with her. Funny how you can love someone and put up with all their sh!t for a while, but in retrospect you realize that some girls are just nuts. Ask yourself - do you truly think it would have worked out in the long run considering who she became (versus who she was when you met)?

Yeah, exactly. I think about her every day and am sad. Just like I said. But really what I'm thinking about and missing is the person she was before. The one I laughed with and loved. I know that that person doesn't really exist right now any longer. I'd just held out hope that she'd learn to find balance in life. I don't have that hope anymore, but the sadness of loss and love still exist.