Originally posted by: exdeath
Originally posted by: GrantMeThePower
Grr...this girl was like the love of my life. I've had 4 girlfriends of over a year and a half, and when I was with this one i knew I wanted to spend the rest of my days with her. We were immensely happy. And then she went off the deep end and became a born again, with goals of "walking in the footsteps of Jesus" and "living a crazy life that makes no sense but is the path God has for me" and said she needed to rescue people and help the world....on her own.
So she left me, hurt me (by trying to help people, lol), and really...it sucked.
That was six weeks ago. I've still been sad, obviously, still think about her daily and just do what I can to get through the days.
Last night she texted me, "Hey, i've been thinking about you a lot recently and hope you're doing well. feel free to call or text if you want".
B!tch!!!!! What is that text supposed to do, but increase the pain? How do I respond? Eff that. Its just more selfishness and she's feeling guilt on some level and wants to know I'm ok.
If I write back and tell her the truth-I'm sad and hurt and think about her all the time-it does nothing...sounds melodramatic and laced with guilt. If i pretend I'm great...well eff that too, because then she'll think, "awesome. He's great, i'm great, woo hoo!" So i'm just not going to write her back, BUT now i'm stuck with the thoughts that she's restirred up.
PSA: CHICKS SUCK.
Oh yeah, and add on top that my birthday (that obviously we were going to spend together) is next week and I've been sad that I won't have her around, and she does this to get me to realize it even more. Hatred becomes me.
My ex finance of 5+ years got a sudden hair up her ass and decided to relive her repressed teenage high school years. Now that she has lost weight and gained self esteem, she's living the life she couldn't before, and turned into a total attention whore and wants to ****** everyone on her buddy list that so much as drools over her.
She canceled the wedding two months before because one of her emotional romantic flings on the internet, whom I didn't previously know about and who disappeared and stopped talking to her without incident a year before, decided to reappear.
She did a good job of hiding it from me for the last year or two and convinced me that she wanted to start over when I did find out. She pulled the BS of trying to make me feel like I was misunderstanding thing, etc. But knowing what I found out the first time, it was easy to see things that I was oblivious to before and I knew she was full of it. I don't know, something about ignoring and blowing me off every weekend while pounding keys on her keyboard non stop till 6am every night... she would use the excuse that I did the same thing not long before, even though I had made a serious effort to be more affectionate even though it was too little too late. In my defense, I was coding or playing video games, plain for her to see, unlike her ways of hiding windows when I'd walk by.
Shes never physically cheated on me, but only because I called her on it and caused her to back out when I suspected thats why she wanted to meet one of her out of state 'friends' (who always happen to be guys) and because they are all out of state. She tries to justify it to herself and to me by saying it wasn't physical, but it makes no difference to me. B1tch.
Shes a lost cause to me, I will not chase a hollow empty shell that looks like the woman I knew and loved. It's not her anymore, I don't care how good she looks on the outside or what memories I may have, I will be forever scared with the ugliness I see inside her NOW.
Shes currently stalking someone in another state who doesn't want anything to do with her. I can see why. I know shes psychotically obsesses with this dude for some reason, but she insists to this day there it's not like that. I don't take kindly to my intelligence being insulted repeatedly in the name of some sneaky womans pride. I'm tired of the deception and manipulation.
All this from the woman I would lay in bed with not three years ago imagining what our kids would be like, etc.
I pulled the plug on that sh1t myself. Shes trying to act friendly and say I'm still her best friend and all that crap, but the things she still gets a rise off doing behind my back hoping its going to hurt me are not things you do to even a friend. So I will play the game she does by acting like we are still friends, then cut her off completely after we move.
Though we still live together and officially broke up barely this year, the last time I really saw the woman I intended to marry was the summer of 2005. For all intents and purposes it was over then. I did my best, but I've had almost two years now to realize that it was over then, etc. She died in 2005. I don't know who this b1tch is I live with now, and the sooner I never have to interact with her again, the better.
Are there any women in the world anymore who just want a husband that will always be loyal and who doesn't think about sex all the time, 2.5 kids and a white picket fence? The worst thing I will do to you is ignore you when a new Metroid, Zelda, or Xenogears related game comes out, but then any woman of mine I would expect to be doing the same, or at least fighting me for the controller, otherwise I'm not interested.
So far every relationship that I thought was perfect, not only myself, but my friends as well, ended with the woman starting another relationship before ending the current one. Grrrr, at least ****** own up and end it first, what is it with women always testing the waters with new guys while sticking close to their current security blankets? And I can't stand women that b1tch that they always find the one guy that doesn't want them for sex... DUH! Go be a ****** hooker or buy a dildo if all you want is d**k 24/7. Some guys believe it or not are capable of thinking with their brain and not their package. You get a guy that is all sex, beer, and football, and complain that hes not romantic or affectionate enough that he just wants meaningless sex. Get a guy who is more affectionate and caring and doesn't care about sex as much, and you complain you don't get boned 8 times a night. Bipolar hoes.
She was my first and only, and she basically wasted 7 years of my life and destroyed any chance of my being happy and careless in a relationship ever again. I was once 100% trusting, oblivious, and childlike in relationships, now I will always be untrusting and skeptical over everything, esp. things that are similar to things she did like staying up on AIM all night and acting nervous when I walk by.
Meh, I have better things to do with my life than worry about stupid horny hormonal psycho women. And I'm not losing sleep over someone so shallow as to cancel a wedding because an old name pops up on a buddy list out of the blue one day.
PS: Don't reply at all, change your number if you have to. Erase her. Cease to exist in her world. And if she did realize what she did and sincerely wishes she could change it back, don't fall for it. As soon as shes content she will do it again, and it will always be easier than the first time. And therein lies the problem. The first time is always the hardest. After that, it becomes easier, even routine and trivial and before long they get so twisted about it that they don't even see why its wrong anymore. Make her live with her choices and let it hurt. Fvck her.