Suicide is for cowards ?

[BabaBooey]

I hear this when the subject comes up.

So when person gets to a point in their life that they do not want to be a part of this world any longer and just say fuck it and do the deed that is being a coward for not wanting to try again to be " normal " or lead a stable life ?

I am 46 - divorced - had 3 kids,have one left - renting a shit hole room -multiple health issues due to being 5'10" and 440#,diabetic,high blood pressure,severe sleep apena ( i get roughly 15min of REM sleep a night ) and always in pain from gaining 200+ # in 9 years and general abuse and years of hard manual labor jobs and putting up sheetrock,etc..

Trying to stay somewhat active so I do not end up a shut in stuck in bed weighing 800 #.

I dunno,I think it is easier to go out in the middle of the woods and put a bullet in your head that letting it get so bad you freak out and start harming others ?


I admit I bring this up as I am one of "them" who is pretty fucking close to taking that trip into the woods with a pistol and do not consider myself a coward.

There is only so much shit a person can handle over time and trying to get help to maintain always ends in a disappointment from not being able to afford professional help due to worthless medicare ( I am on ssi disability also since 2001 ) so even the "low cost " dr's with a lower co pay then stick it to you with expensive sessions and tests and now I am not able to see my physcologist ( sp ? too lazy to check ) now becasue they stuck me with a $300 bill medicare will not pay...fucking sleezballs in my opinion that do this.

I don't want to do this to my mom or my so called GF but just so tired of living like this...not going to go into everything that lead me to this point in my life.

I dunno,I guess it would not matter what people thought if your dead...right ?

:\


What is your opinion on suicide ?


Based on post #39, this thread is lockable; it's generally our policy to lock these threads anyway to prevent unnecessary trolling, etc. It's nice to see that many of the responses seemed pretty genuine. -Admin DrPizza

 

[waggy]

I hear this when the subject comes up.

So when person gets to a point in their life that they do not want to be a part of this world any longer and just say fuck it and do the deed that is being a coward for not wanting to try again to be " normal " or lead a stable life ?

I am 46 - divorced - had 3 kids,have one left - renting a shit hole room -multiple health issues due to being 5'10" and 440#,diabetic,high blood pressure,severe sleep apena ( i get roughly 15min of REM sleep a night ) and always in pain from gaining 200+ # in 9 years and general abuse and years of hard manual labor jobs and putting up sheetrock,etc..



What is your opinion on suicide ?

I am going to be pretty frank and honest.

I think you are a pussy. You have kids and in a rough patch in life. get over it. The kid needs you and you need him more then whatever you are going through is.

I do suggest joining a forum for such stuff though .here is not the best for it. I won't link them but if you really want to know PM me.

I KNOW life ain't fair trust me. i have lived with issues all my life. The diffrence i see between us is i deal with it and refuse to let it destroy my life. I have 2 wonderful kids i plan on seeing graduate college, get married and have kids. just so i can spoil the fuck out of my grand-kids. To be honest no i don't expect to live that long but i will be damned if i am not doing everything i can to stay healthy enough to do it.


If you wanna chat PM me.

 

[amdhunter]

OP. Just chill.

 

[chessdeviant]

I have to agree with waggy no matter what think of your kid. Call or email every councilor in your area and explain your situation, or go to a church, synagogue?, mosque, prayer place to find help, there are some places like community mental health that will bill based on how much income you make and sometimes the bill is 0. YOUR KID DESERVES AT LEAST THIS MUCH!

 

[bfdd]

Sometimes it might be for cowards. Other times it's used to relieve pain or suffering, other times it's experimental or done out of boredom or for whatever reasons. If you're thinking about it I suggest you find someone to talk about it openly with and come up with a plan. I personally would not look down on you for it and if it is what you feel needs to be done, then so be it. I'm sorry your journey hasn't been more pleasant.

 

[amdhunter]

I have to agree with waggy no matter what think of your kid. Call or email every councilor in your area and explain your situation, or go to a church, synagogue?, mosque, prayer place to find help, there are some places like community mental health that will bill based on how much income you make and sometimes the bill is 0. YOUR KID DESERVES AT LEAST THIS MUCH!

Stay away from Churches or any religious places. They prey on people who are seeking help.

Seek professional advice or deal with it in your own way.

 

[mmntech]

If you live in North America, the best argument against suicide is right here.

This was taken during the 2011 East Africa drought. She's standing in front of a mass grave for people who died making the long trek to relief camps. Died trying to survive. Interestingly suicide rates in these countries are the same if not lower than NA. Only Somalia, Cote d'Ivorie and South Africa are the exceptions. My point being that there are an awful lot of people living a far shittier life than you do. Somehow they pull through.

 

[bfdd]

If you live in North America, the best argument against suicide is right here.

This was taken during the 2011 East Africa drought. She's standing in front of a mass grave for people who died making the long trek to relief camps. Died trying to survive. Interestingly suicide rates in these countries are the same if not lower than NA. Only Somalia, Cote d'Ivorie and South Africa are the exceptions. My point being that there are an awful lot of people living a far shittier life than you do. Somehow they pull through.

And in India it's crazy high and that's just as much a shit hole in some situations. Or how about a place like japan? I agree that's a good argument but not a sole reason. I don't see much wrong with suicide as long as it has been thought out and their responsibilities taken care of. Some people jump to it to quickly though and I really hope the OP spends sometime talking to omeone, a loved one or third party, that will discuss this openly with him. The worst thing to do is make someone feel more isolated from "normal" thought by telling them these thoughts or ideas are weird or wrong. There is nothing wrong wth it and for some people it might be the right option.

 

[olds]

I am of the opinion that it is one's life to do with as they wish. But you do have to consider how it would affect the people around you. Would you want to put them through that pain? Blaming themselves for not seeing it coming or helping. That pain lasts a life time. As when someone in a family commits suicide, it seems to make it more acceptable for others in the family to do it. I wouldn't want to be responsible for someone else doing it. Even if I'd never know about it because I wasn't there.

 

[waggy]

Stay away from Churches or any religious places. They prey on people who are seeking help.

Seek professional advice or deal with it in your own way.

disagree on staying away. they can help. You never know what that one spark is going to be to help.

I am of the opinion that it is one's life to do with as they wish. But you do have to consider how it would affect the people around you. Would you want to put them through that pain? Blaming themselves for not seeing it coming or helping. That pain lasts a life time. As when someone in a family commits suicide, it seems to make it more acceptable for others in the family to do it. I wouldn't want to be responsible for someone else doing it. Even if I'd never know about it because I wasn't there.

OH MAN THIS!

My cousin commited suicide 20 years ago. EVERY year on his birthday his mother, brother and sisters have a party. I can see it still hurts them. Hell i think about it and all the time and i didn't know him that well (he was 13 years older then me).

it hits more people then you think it will.

 

[SlitheryDee]

You're a coward because you're more afraid of life than you are of death. Life isn't something that should be feared like that. We all live through hardship. It's just part of life. If you can't handle it like the rest of us you're a coward. Your fear is just as irrational as the fear some people feel when they see a mouse across the room, squeal like a bitch, and jump on top of a nearby desk. Even they are braver than you though, because for all that, they face their lives instead of running from them.

Suicide is probably the ultimate act of cowardice. Don't try to delude yourself into thinking it's not.

 

[soulcougher73]

I would not find anyone a coward for such a thing. In fact its pretty brave to be able to actually pull it off to be honest. Not an easy thing to come to terms with.

BUT..i think if you got active slowly and started losing weight, get down to like 200lbs i bet most of your issues would go away. (high blood pressure, apnea and diabetic).

Also don't worry about what is "normal". Just be yourself and be happy. Millions of people chase this dream of what "normal" is and end up miserable.

Maybe look up some free support groups (maybe meetup.com) for other people stuggling where you can talk about your issues and maybe get free guidance and support. Find a fitness club that is willing to work slowly with people to meet an end goal. If YOU want to YOU can right your boat with dedication and hard work. Its not going to be easy.

Good luck OP

 

[bfdd]

Soulcougher gets it

 

[sigurros81]

Do not do it. Not because it's a coward or brave thing to do, but also ask yourself if it is a selfish thing to do, to leave your family and friends behind. Different cultures view suicide differently. in Japan it is an honorable notion.

 

[waggy]

Also don't worry about what is "normal". Just be yourself and be happy. Millions of people chase this dream of what "normal" is and end up miserable.



Good luck OP

best advice given.

 

[child of wonder]

Things CAN improve, OP. Are you willing to put in the work and sacrifice to make it happen?

 

[Charles Kozierok]

First of all, if you are even contemplating suicide, you need to speak to a qualified professional. If you can't afford one, there are free services staffed by volunteers who will help. If you don't want to go even that far, post on a forum like this one, which is filled with decent, compassionate and intelligent people. You'll get much better advice there than some of the vindictive, ignorant and moronic comments that fill this place.

As for my personal opinion, I don't consider suicide to be "cowardice". You may well be afraid to continue living, and see suicide as a way of avoiding that fear. But taking your own life also requires bravery in its own way. It's just .. bravery that is short-lived.

Regardless, thinking about it in terms of "cowardice" is the wrong approach.

In your situation, I think suicide is more an "easy way out". You are in difficult circumstances, no doubt. And anyone who judges or insults or mocks or belittles you without having gone through what you have is an asshole, plain and simple. But even though you have tough problems, they are NOT insurmountable. There are people who can help. And people who have gotten out of worse messes.

Suicide is classically termed a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You are not so far gone that you cannot find ways to make your life better. I hope you'll decide to view that as a challenge and work towards making it happen. It won't be easy, but there are MANY people who turn their lives around and actually become inspirations to others.

Happy to chat privately if I can be of assistance in any way.

 

[manimal]

If anyone in the boards knows the OP personally or has communicated in the past talk to him on the phone.


OP find someone to talk to. You are only alone if you choose it.

 

[Madwand1]

What is your opinion on suicide ?

Suicide is a futile attempt to escape troubles of life and the consequence of your own past actions. As such, it is cowardly, and tragic. Bravery is not the absence of fear or the having of confidence of being able to surmount challenges, but rather doing what's right despite fear and the unknown.

Stop blaming others and consequently seeing yourself as the victim of external forces; take responsibility for the things you can change. Make the effort, keep making it, and things will change. You have the ability; you can make things better. The biggest hurdle to overcome is not outside, but the internal one which stops you from making the effort.

Would it help you to know the problems I face every day and the difficulties my own health issues add to that? Would it help to look at people with even greater physical and mental challenges who are facing life as cheerfully as they can despite that? Probably not. My problems aren't of any concern to you, and the last thing that people who are surmounting their difficulties need is pity and dwelling on the apparent obstacles.

 

[soulcougher73]

OP try watching videos like this one that was posted a couple weeks ago here. I love these types of videos that show people overcoming great adversity in their lives. My brother had recently got heavy into yoga and i sent him this video to watch and he literally cried it touched him so much.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX9FSZJu448

 

[mmntech]

And in India it's crazy high and that's just as much a shit hole in some situations. Or how about a place like japan? I agree that's a good argument but not a sole reason. I don't see much wrong with suicide as long as it has been thought out and their responsibilities taken care of. Some people jump to it to quickly though and I really hope the OP spends sometime talking to omeone, a loved one or third party, that will discuss this openly with him. The worst thing to do is make someone feel more isolated from "normal" thought by telling them these thoughts or ideas are weird or wrong. There is nothing wrong wth it and for some people it might be the right option.

I'm just tired of hearing people hear whine about how bad their life is, when it's really not.

 

[Charles Kozierok]

I'm just tired of hearing people hear whine about how bad their life is, when it's really not.

Except in cases such as terminal physical illness, suicidal impulses are not based on logical assessments of quality of life. So they cannot be readily rationalizations or guilt about how much worse others have things.. even if it seems like that should be relevant.

These things have to do with mental state, past experiences, and predisposition to look at life in certain ways. It's not set in stone, but it's also not something that can be combatted easily.

 

[reallyscrued]

I wish I could give you a hug.

Everyone's being very frank in this thread, so I will too.

In my opinion, suicide is not for cowards. I think the decision to live or not (life and death) is and should be a choice, and neither choice is necessarily braver, cowardly, selfish, etc, than another. 1 you have control over and 1 you don't, no one *asked* you to be a part of this world, which really sucks, because once you're here...it's like everyone's telling you HAHA, you're stuck with it.

The whole think of your friends, family, loved ones...I mean, why doesn't everyone give them the same advice? Your 'so-and-so' chose to put their life to an end, it's a rough patch in your life..you'll get it over it and move on. Yada yada. I never understood that. Isn't it selfish of friends and family to want to keep someone around even if that person is going through mental anguish just so they don't have to deal with death?


Every case is different. Are you more noble if you committed suicide and no one would miss you? Is it all of a sudden not selfish if you were living on a deserted island your entire life?

Every case is different.


In your case, OP. It matters about your children. They are young (I assume) and the above paragraph would be very hard to explain about their own father. To be called a good father in any traditional sense of the word, depending on how old your children are, you will mentally affect them in unimaginable ways as they grow up knowing what their dad did to himself. They will blame themselves maybe, wonder if you didn't want them, etc. You are definitely messing up 3 lives for the sake of 1 (your own) and if it were up to me, and I were you

I'd stick it out.

 

[sixone]

I dunno,I guess it would not matter what people thought if your dead...right ?

Does it matter to you what your kids think if you're dead? Your death will hurt them more than anyone else. You've made a lot of sacrifices to give them the best life that you could; it would be a shame to throw that all away.

 

[waggy]

I'm just tired of hearing people hear whine about how bad their life is, when it's really not.

Problem is until you walk a mile in your shoes its really hard to understand.

I understand where the OP is coming from. i been there myself (back in the late 90's) i was drinking FAR to much. its not a fun or pretty place to be. Though i got through the "dark" and came to understand that while yes stuff sucks ass it could be worse.

I have medical issues, heh mental issues and got into a nasty divorce 2 years ago. It would be easy to give up. i can sit and cry about "why me" but that won't solve anything. I have 2 wonderful kids, good friends that i don't see enough, and a reason to continue.

it takes a mental adjustment to get out of it. that's not easy