Suicide; Selfish or Not?

[AyashiKaibutsu]

And just to play devils advocate. I present this, Robin Williams is now free from his pain. But now, his wife, kids, and the world are suffering. Is that not selfish?

All things die. If they choose to take his death harshly that's their personal decision. His personal decision was to die. It's not a matter of selfish or not; it's just life moving on.

 

[HamburgerBoy]

Life itself is inherently selfish. It's actually the more "selfish" act how disproportionately people care *after* someone dies. Otherwise very few will ever care (give a damn) about the *living* you. Best you will ever get is lip-service.

Always make yourself the number one priority. Make provisions for the people who did care for the living you. Then I have no problem with people being in control of their own destiny, whether in life or death.

Anyhow, I'd imagine many who commit suicide don't want to die; they actually have just forgotten how to live.

This.

 

[RandomWords]

I've tried to see it from the other side, people who claim it isn't selfish. However, I just don't buy their argument. Maybe it's because I'm profoundly ignorant about mental health issues. It's just the burden you leave on those you leave behind is so great. Your family and friends who grieve for you and now have to plan a funeral, the person who has to find you. There's always help out there, no matter how bad things get. You're selfish if you don't at least attempt to seek it out.

You can spot someone who has never been through depression - and people like that do not understand and cannot see it from the 'other side'. Depression isn't the same as being sad, not by a long shot. I am very thankful I do not have months and months of depression at a time, but just short periods - a week or two here and there, sometimes a month at a time - a lot of times brought on basically because of changes in hormones over any type of life event - and each time grasping for whatever strands I can possibly find to make it through to the next day. During depression - I've been suicidal. I've planned for it and debated if a bullet through the aortic artery angled toward the spine would be nicer than one to the head (after all, my family can have an open casket the first way)... or if hanging was the way to go or if cutting off the blood supply to my brain over my airway would be good... then where should it be done - well in the bathtub of course - it is easiest to clean up for them... did I think of loved ones - sure did - and concluded each and every one of them would be better off without me... that's during the depression - it's not always easy to recognize you are in one when you first start having it - and afterwards; if you are lucky enough to not be plagued by it consistently and actually do come out of it - I think a lot of people are like me - in that they look back in wonder and think, "why?" or "what was I thinking?" or "how could I think that?"... and it is afterwards that you truly know it was a depression you were in ... it isn't easy to see hope, or the future, or any resemblance of light when you are deep in the darkness. There isn't really even thought to find help -and usually people don't recognize you need or are asking for help or even know how to help - because telling me to "get over it" and a basic "so many people love you" (though on a normal basis I know this is true) are not going to convince a mind that has thought about it extensively and already concluded against both those things without more than simple statements - this says it best:

When someone suffers from mental illness, he is not thinking correctly. You cannot expect someone who is going to kill himself to consider all those things you listed. "Not of sound mind."

Suicide: Is it selfish - not really. Is it stupid - not really. Crazy - well... it is a result of a mental issue... but mostly - misunderstood... like the mental illness it stems from.

 

[AstroGuardian]

We've had a lot of topics before, it never hurts to talk about something more often if its helps bring it to the forefront of peoples minds and possibly help someone.
I am not judging anyone, I am simply asking the question that has been floating around. And just to play devils advocate. I present this, Robin Williams is now free from his pain. But now, his wife, kids, and the world are suffering. Is that not selfish?

Wouldn't they just suffer along side of him? Have you thought that he might have done it to ease their pain and shorten it?
After what i saw during taking care of my father who died of lung cancer i totally understand terminally ill people and why would they want to commit a suicide. If further in my life i suffer from cancer i would leave my will and suicide myself with no hesitation. I have seen many horrors during that time. It was inhumane what was happening to my father but he was a former military and had a pair of brass balls. I had the brass balls myself living through that and never leaving his bedside and not breaking down for even a moment. What both of us endured i couldn't and i wouldn't want my family to live through that. It's a shame that euthanasia is not legal in Europe (except for Holland).

 

[yhelothar]

I think it could be selfish or it may not be.
If you're a teen in which you have parents that have essentially dedicated their lives into trying to make you happy and well adjusted and you give up after not much effort, that seems selfish to me. If you have kids that still need you and you end yourself, that seems selfish. If you're 80 with no future and in a lot of pain, clearly it's not selfish.

 

[JulesMaximus]

How about suicide by shellfish? :hmm:

 

[AstroGuardian]

How do you mean?

 

[alkemyst]

Suicide is about the most personal thing anyone can do to themselves. It has no cowardly or selfish parts of it. It's not about ANYONE else.

These asshats that flame someone that's deceased are indeed cowardly themselves and doing nothing, but further upsetting those that have been affected.

They need to be punched in the pie hole.

 

[oslama]

No. Everyone should have have control over their own mortality.

second that

 

[SandEagle]

another suicide thread?

mine was better.
http://forums.anandtech.com/showthread.php?t=2224390

 

[Zorkorist]

Suicide is about the most personal thing anyone can do to themselves. It has no cowardly or selfish parts of it. It's not about ANYONE else.

These asshats that flame someone that's deceased are indeed cowardly themselves and doing nothing, but further upsetting those that have been affected.

They need to be punched in the pie hole.

Suicide is selfish, in that whatever "tradgedy" you are going through, someone else has been there, done that.

So don't go thinking you are the special one, the one that kills themselves. You are only the loser, the one that DID kill themselves.

Rather, try and get help. There are a million people, that will feel better if they can feel they helped you.

So, please. Suicide is not the answer. Take small steps, and ask for help, and remember you, are number one.

-John

 

[HamburgerBoy]

another suicide thread?

mine was better.
http://forums.anandtech.com/showthread.php?t=2224390

Are you trying to make the op kill himself?

 

[bradley]

Suicide is selfish, in that whatever "tradgedy" you are going through, someone else has been there, done that.

So don't go thinking you are the special one, the one that kills themselves. You are only the loser, the one that DID kill themselves.

Rather, try and get help. There are a million people, that will feel better if they can feel they helped you.

So, please. Suicide is not the answer. Take small steps, and ask for help, and remember you, are number one.

-John

No offense John, your post is so meaningless, simplistic and full of idealism; I have trouble believing it was written by an adult.

I especially call BS on the millions of people feeling better for helping you. Quite frankly, most people don't give two shits about anyone other than themselves. Sorry to break the news to you. No one can care more about you than yourself.

Obviously someone accustomed to living in the light will never understand what it's like for darkness to be imposed upon them. If truly lucky, they will never realize what it feels like to forget how to live.

 

[who?]

Was it selfish for Joan Rivers husband to kill himself leaving her a single mother with screwed up finances?
Oh, Melissa was nineteen when he did it but still a horrible thing for the two of them.

 

[TallBill]

Not selfish. I've lost a family member and a really close friend. Both were different reasons and devastating for a lot of people but I'd never blame either of them for what they did.

 

[SlitheryDee]

Well okay, in that sense, eating a sandwich is selfish, it's more or less addressing a personal problem only involving that individual.

Usually, when people use the word selfish they mean something more than simply acting out of self interest, but that you've crossed a point where you're disproportionately sacrificing the interest of others.

I see it as a matter of degrees. Eating a sandwich is a tiny bit selfish inasmuch as you may not necessarily need the sandwich as much as someone else. Taking your life is much more selfish because it hurts those who love you much more. I don't really see a dividing line between "acting in self interest" and "being selfish". In most cases they are two words for the same thing. We use one for the little selfish acts and another for the big ones.

I'm not even saying that being selfish is bad in it's lesser forms. It's such an unavoidable part of the human condition that we can hardly condemn every tiny act. Suicide is a bit different though. It's the essence of self-absorption, even if the reason for that is that the person is filled with so much pain that they can't see past their own issues. I've never come close to suicide, but I have felt such mental anguish that I didn't give a fuck about anyone but myself at that moment. From that point on, until the pain passed, every act I committed was for me and me alone. The more pain you are in, the less you are able to consider the pain of others. By it's very nature, pain makes you selfish.

 

[Ricky Spanish]

Too many reasons to do it so it goes both ways depending on the circumstances.

 

[BUTCH1]

Did Robin Williams owe you something? You have no idea what his pain was like or how low his depression was. I feel for his wife and kids and I grieve for him... I'm not really sure where you're going with this quite frankly. Do you want us to be angry at him for killing himself?

Yea, the man suffered from severe depression, severe financial strain due to 2 failed marriages, recurring bouts with alcohol and drug abuse and a justice system that openly dry-sticks the male with outrageous alimony payments. So you were married to a rich, famous talented person so you get to continue to live high off the hog on his dime instead of getting a job and finding your own way in life. Until this situation changes in the US there will continue to be suicides as men feel trapped by a completely unfair system, I'm not saying a man should walk off scot-free, he should support his kids if they end up with the mother but in cases like RW's he was forced to shell out outrageous amounts so the ex could continue to maintain a lifestyle they no longer deserved.

 

[_Rick_]

To the depressed, it often looks like continuing to live is more selfish, than dying.

But then, people also kill themselves without being clinically/technically depressed.

Generalizations will never touch upon the truth, that's the only thing to be guaranteed.

 

[squarecut1]

Life itself is inherently selfish. It's actually the more "selfish" act how disproportionately people care *after* someone dies. Otherwise very few will ever care (give a damn) about the *living* you. Best you will ever get is lip-service.

And a lot of times, not even that.

Anyhow, here is a stat: the number of people who take their own lives in America in a year is twice that of those killed. Suicide should be a national emergency.

 

[alkemyst]

And a lot of times, not even that.

Anyhow, here is a stat: the number of people who take their own lives in America in a year is twice that of those killed. Suicide should be a national emergency.

There is no profit in it.

 

[Miramonti]

People should be able to do whatever they want with their choice to live without retarded arguments coming up whether it's selfish or not. (as if one's choice to breath is a commendable unselfish act of giving. )

 

[Mr. Pedantic]

It depends on situation of course, but I think it's pretty selfish in itself to suggest that someone who doesn't want to stay alive should do so to spare you some grief.

 

[cubby1223]

A good friend of mine's brother attempted suicide several years ago. Long story short, he had bad aim and a police officer was able to locate him in time to get him to a hospital and save his life. He's healthy now just has some disabilities that limit what he is capable of doing.

Nobody regarded his actions as selfish, nobody even questioned it. Everyone just accepted that it happened and decided to work together to create the best future they can for everyone.

You can either choose to be angry at the past, or choose to be optimistic of the future.

 

[MongGrel]

There is no profit in it.

After your offhand comment to buy bullets for my guns the other day with my bonus check, I'm eagerly awaiting and informed opinion on your part on this subject.