Tales from the CPU: Beware the dust bunnies

[HVAC]

'Twas the night before the night before the night before Halloween.
And all through the house
All my children were sleeping
(One has a stuffed mouse)

As I sat before keyboard
That connects via USB
I rebooted my computer
And pressed DEL carefully

Unaccustomed was I
To no keyboard response
I clicked and I clacked and I banged
But no fonts

"What's the matter?", I cried,
"What the bleep's going on!?!"
But try as I might
The icons were gone

So I reset again
And power cycled too
And I thought to myself,
"This had better work, dude"

Then my LEDs died
One by one they blinked off
And my trusty old hard drive
Just scrabbled and coughed

I had had just enough
I threw off the switch
Tore open the chassis
And stared at the kitsch

There were chips and resistors
And ICs and more....
Connectors and wires
All tangled and wore

There were dust bunnies everywhere
I blew and I blew
They went scampering and hiding
Away from my spew

Then I turned on the switch
(Most gently, you see)
And turned three shades of red
At the FF glowing at me

"It won't post," I thought,
"What a pain in the rear."
So I sat and I pondered
(I should have had a beer.)

"I'll fix it tomorrow,"
I told my dear wife,
"I think it's the motherboard."
"It's not worth the strife."

And the very next day
I went out and I bought
A new motherboard
From a store that I sought

Then that evening I tinkered
And assembled and threw
Together a PC
All shiny and new (well....sort of)

And lo and behold
When I turned it all on
Nothing happened at all
No beeps, short or long

And I thought a few words
That I rather not write
For they allowed no returns
To my store of delight

As I pondered my fate
Wondering what to do
I told my young wife
"Must be the CPU!"

"Well how much is that?"
She asked with a grin.
When I told her the price
Her smile fell to her chin.

So I sat there, dejected
And fiddled again
With the power and reset
But one wouldn't press in.

As I looked very closely
I could suddenly see why
For the button that resets
Was stuck ON and awry!

Then I jiggled and cleaned
And pressed over and over
'Til the darned thing came loose
I was near in a fervor

Now I switched on again
And connected the screen
And the BIOS came on
While it booted up clean.

"Hallelujah!" I cried
"My computer still works!"
And I web surfed a while
(It's my sleepy time quirk)

-----------------------------------

So I write you this poem
I send you this verse
It has some advice
You could do much worse

Take a vacuum, a duster
And a rag with some clout
Get those nooks and those crannies
Drive those dust bunnies out!

Copyright (C) 2006 John W. Olson
All Rights Reserved
Permission given by author for posting on Anandtech forums in thread titled: Tales from the CPU: Beware the dust bunnies

 

[XweAponX]

The Board Less Returned (For warranty work)
(With apologies to Robert Frost)

TWO boards displayed in a PC Club,
And sorry I could not purchase both
And be one computer, long I stood
And looked at one as long as I could
And read what brand of the CPU;

Then took the other, as just as fast,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was made by AMD;
Though as for that the System Speed
Was marked as being about the same, 10

And both that morning equally lay
In Boxes no plastic had been removed.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how i386 leads on to x64,
I doubted if I should ever come back. 15

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two boards displayed in a PC Club, and I?
I took the Dual Core X2,
And that has made all the difference.