Tales from the retail world...

[RedArmy]

Originally posted by: NokiaDude
I worked for bedbath and beyond for 4 months while I was in between jobs. I f*cked this 27 year old Filipino hottie on multiple who was married to a marine in one of the stockrooms. It was the only highlight of working there.

Wow, I worked at Bed Bath and Beyond too...however I didn't get any hot Filipino action .

 

[DarkThinker]

Originally posted by: Phoenix15

Originally posted by: cain

Originally posted by: Phoenix15

Originally posted by: DnetMHZ
When I was a teenager I worked at an Acme store and I had an old lady sh!t at my register.. literally sh!t on the floor.

I worked at a Wal Mart during college. I was walking out of the bathrooms in the back of the store when this HAAWWWWWWTTTT cashier came walking up rapidly towards the bathroom. I always flirted with her and was about to start some game when RECCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH she PUKED all over the floor and the front of the milk cooler. She had a stomach virus and the asshole manager wouldn't ler her leave. She was SO embarrased. It all worked out in the end as we got married Sept 18th last year. :thumbsup:

i have never worked in retail, think i should try it to get the experience

I think everyone should have to. I treat people in those places MUCH better now. The same with waiters. Once you see how the job really is, you get a lot more sympathic.

QFT

 

[indamixx99]

I just got laid off from CompUSA... does that count?

 

[darkswordsman17]

Back when I was in high school I worked at one of two grocery stores in the small town. Well, this older couple had been shopping at the other store and someone had put the wrong bags in their car. For some reason they stop at our store and tell us what happened, and we not knowing thought it was us that had done it. Well we send someone out to pick them up and try to find out what happened when we notice the groceries are from the other store. We tell them that, and they just give us a funny look like it shouldn't be a problem. We say this several more times, emphasizing its not our store, and they just reply that its not their groceries. Finally after the manager told them it was the other stores problem, he decided to just go ahead and take the bags since they wouldn't leave. They put what we carried on our shelves and put the other store brand stuff somewhere in the back room. The thing I couldn't figure out is why they didn't want to get the groceries they had paid for back.

Another one involved when a box that had glass salsa jars of nacho cheese and loose pop cans fall off my cart and it made a mess. Well we blocked off the aisle and I was cleaning and some lady tried to go through it. She gets halfway through (had my back turned as I was trying to get all the broken glass up first) before I noticed her. I asked her to go around as I was trying to get things cleaned up. Not more than a minute later another lady tries the same thing. I kinda just stood there completely baffled for a moment trying to figure out how they could have missed all the signs, myself, and even the mess. Finally when I had gotten all but the nacho cheese (which is bright yellow and the aisle is still mostly blocked) cleaned up another lady just pushes right through everything.

Then there is the time my managers watched an old woman stealing individual candy pieces. There was a display of assorted Brach candy and she was just standing there taking a piece and then eating it. The one manager noticed and called the other two. The thing that topped it off is that they didn't do anything about it. She came in just about every day and they would watch her all the time (and weren't conspicuous about it either).

Oh, and I recall a friend coming in one time and she was getting a 20oz bottle of something and noticed that the gatorade ones that we stocked the cooler said "Not for individual sale" on them and she was actually going to report it but she didn't have any clue who to would report it to. When she first asked me I thought she was joking or something, then she kept going on and I figured out she was serious. I was kinda dumbstruck that she was making such a fuss over it.

The last one I can think of at the moment is when I was filling eggs and a woman came up and asked me if we carry organic eggs. I told her where the organic foods section was, and my mind kinda started thinking about it as I was finishing with the eggs. I knew that some people were taking the organic food craze a little too far, but I don't really know how all eggs aren't organic. After just looking it up I see that it means they feed the chickens only organic grain and don't give them medication/shots, so I guess it sorta makes sense.

 

[ChaoZ]

This isn't retail but I used to work in a computer lab on campus.

One time this girl came up to us and told us there were two guys watching porn on the computers. We went to check it out, and lo and behold, porn. I literally was like WTF, how can you be so stupid. We had to call the administration and told them about it, they probably got in a sh1t load of trouble.

Another time I was just reading my texbook when a guy came up right to me and said "Fvck You." I was too surprised at the moment and said F U too out of habit. Then the girl next to him told him something like he's not the one. The guy apologized. I must've murmured "dumbass" to myself too loud, cause the guy started cussing like crazy. The girl had to drag him away.

 

[OulOat]

Holy thread resurrection

 

[AlienCraft]

Back in '89 I worked for Lumberjack building materials in Auburn, CA.
We moved there after the Loma Prieta Earthquake.This was also an El Nino year and there was very heavy rains and even snow at that lower elevation.
I was in the Electrical dept, having been a Journeyman Electrician in the Bay Area.
Had a guy walk in on day and ask for a length of SJO cord and two male Edison plugs.
I inquired as to what he intended to do with that and he told me he was going to use it to plug his generator into his wall plug so he could power his house cause the lines were down.
I advised him that what he was going to do was not only illegal, but highly dangerous to the guys who would be reconnecting those downed lines and that a PG&e lineman had been electrocuted recently from someone doing just that. I then informed him, he could buy those things and take a chance, or buy the transfer switchI had brought into the store as a special order item, but happened to have one sitting in the back, just in case.
Dude whips out his PG&E employee ID (investigator!) and proceeds to THANK ME for my mad3l3ctrician skillz and gave me some pamphlets to give other wannabe fryboys when ever I was asked this question again.
He then made a point of telling the manager on duty what I had done and was roundly praised at the next employee meeting.

Yay me !

 

[AlienCraft]

Originally posted by: Slacker
Retail is for suckers.

But with a name like SLACKER, how would you know?

 

[GMI]

Originally posted by: AlienCraft
Back in '89 I worked for Lumberjack building materials in Auburn, CA.
We moved there after the Loma Prieta Earthquake.This was also an El Nino year and there was very heavy rains and even snow at that lower elevation.
I was in the Electrical dept, having been a Journeyman Electrician in the Bay Area.
Had a guy walk in on day and ask for a length of SJO cord and two male Edison plugs.
I inquired as to what he intended to do with that and he told me he was going to use it to plug his generator into his wall plug so he could power his house cause the lines were down.
I advised him that what he was going to do was not only illegal, but highly dangerous to the guys who would be reconnecting those downed lines and that a PG&e lineman had been electrocuted recently from someone doing just that. I then informed him, he could buy those things and take a chance, or buy the transfer switchI had brought into the store as a special order item, but happened to have one sitting in the back, just in case.
Dude whips out his PG&E employee ID (investigator!) and proceeds to THANK ME for my mad3l3ctrician skillz and gave me some pamphlets to give other wannabe fryboys when ever I was asked this question again.
He then made a point of telling the manager on duty what I had done and was roundly praised at the next employee meeting.

Yay me !

was this something you are suppose to know off hand?

 

[Quasmo]

Originally posted by: fallensight
Yeah, supermarkets are retail, and you will find endless stories there.

I'm working in one of the two frozen aisles in my store, talking with one of the pizza vendors.
An old woman comes down the aisle and asks "Where is the ice cream?"
I respond, "right around the corner next aisle, cant miss it." She leaves.
A min or so later she comes back"where is the ice cream?" she asks again. I glance in her cart and see a half gallon of ice cream.
Not knowing what else to say i repeat "Next aisle over, cant miss it"
"No, no, no. The ice cream that comes in a can" she says.
*blink* Knowing it doesnt come in a can I cant think of anything to say, the pizza guy looks at me and mouths "can?"
"You know, the kind you eat for breakfast" she says, getting an annoyed tone of voice.
*blink* Again, I cant even think of anything to say, as lady you are crazy, isnt something you are supposed to say.
She gets mad at me not knowing what the hell she is talking about, and starts to walk off. Then she says "Oh! There it is!" and reaches out and grabs a can of frozen orange juice.

And i have dozens more...

She ate concentrated orange juice for breakfast???? That is totally awesome.

 

[AlienCraft]

Originally posted by: Horus


LOL...I don't ever remember watching videos...but I remember exactly how to make every burger there...

Hamburger/Cheeseburger: small bun through the toaster, one squirt ketchup, Z of mustard, some recon onions, one pickle. Cheese if needed

Big Mac: Mac bun through toaster, squirt from the "mac sauce" gun, recon onions, lettuce, 2 pickles, 1 slice cheese

Quarter Pounder: Quarter bun through toaster, one squirt ketchup, Z of mustard, real onions, 2 pickles, 2 slices of cheese.

so on, so on....

TO PEOPLE WHO EAT MCDONALDS: If your meat is dry, ASK FOR NEW STUFF....odds are it's been in the tray for more than half an hour.

Even I remember how to make a McD burger, and it's been almost 40 years since i worked there.

 

[TruePaige]

So I work at a Dairy Queen, and this lady motions to me one day (I'm running DT, just walking by from the ice cream machine, she's at the front counter) and so I stop even though I'm trying to move product and cars, thinking maybe she just needs sauce, or a fork, or something.

Not at all.

She just starts FLAMING at the mouth with profanity about her precious child, who is allergic to all these forms of bread, and how the plain meat patty she ordered must have touched some bread because now he isn't feeling well, and she just keeps cussing, so I stare at her in amazement for about 20 seconds and then walk back to Drivethru and ignore her until my manager steps in.

She continues to just bitch at my manager, who (now with a cute baby) was about 7 months pregnant at the time. She just listens to the lady and then tells her she can either take a refund, a new patty, but that beyond that we're not responsible, and then just taps the "Allergen Warning" sign.

Man. People are crazy. If you have whacky allergies, we try our best, but we have busy kitchen.

That's also what you get when you eat fastfood everyday, cook your special child some real food! I'm sure he's sick of eating tiny meat patties every dang day.

 

[clickynext]

A friend of mine worked at a pizza call centre. A customer ordered chicken wings and then asked "are those made with potatoes?"

 

[intogamer]

bump!

 

[Zolty]

I was 16 and I worked at the wal-mart electronics Department, Sunday nights were always really dull. Luckily there was always a bunch of stoners working in the toy department to entertain me. On one of these Sunday nights I am hanging out in toys helping get some bikes down with one of those electric lifter car things (technical term) when we get the idea that we are going to make a break for it, so the stoner starts driving us straight for the emergency exit, and attempts to stop a few inches before contact, we slid a little and nailed the doors setting off the alarm. He tries to run, and I am like "no we leave the car and they will know it was us", so we return the car and a few minutes later the manager asks us if we had seen some teenagers around (some kids were using the emergency exits to shoplift), we said no and proceeded with our shift. To this day I have no idea how we didn't get in trouble for that.

At wal-mart we used to climb the white pilars that hold the roof and put slap bracelets on the rafters. Some are still attached to this day (8 years later).

Some of the Toy department Cronies would sleep in the storage racks and wouldn't wake up until I would go back and start moving them.

We had a generic fast food shop in the back of the store, every night at 9pm they would announce 2 for 1 hot dogs, which we would start running for. We being me, and 4 other people competing for the same 4-5 3 hour old hot dogs.

I knew employees that would take merchandises to the front counter and return it so they could get a gift card and buy lunch for the week.

I had a key to the locked games for like 10 months after I quit, I would frequently get my own games to purchase.

We found another employee's stash of things that he was going to steal, and moved it. He thought the managers were on to him and he was going to get fired.

Nothing else really comes to mind. I helped people when they asked and gave honest answers to their questions.

 

[aka1nas]

I thought I had repressed all my memories of my retail days.

I worked at a best buy for about 3 years when I was doing my undergrad. I was there introduced to the fine sports of HP printer bowling and Kodak Hackiesack. We used to toss $1000 video cameras about 25 feet in the air to the guy stocking them up top. We only dropped one or two a night, tops.

Once, I was manning my department all by myself when this 700-ound old man waddled in. He STANK. Not just a little BO stinky, but literally eye-watering, gagging stench. I then got stuck giving him a 20 minute sales pitch on a digital camera because he wouldn't stop asking questions. All the while trying not to throw up. It turned out that there was district management in the store that day and they were hiding behind the next aisle while I was in the middle of the pitch and listening. I got my department a perfect score at least.

I couldn't believe how many douchebags there were in the world until I worked retail. Once a guy came in to buy an SLR camera for his wife. He then proceeded to tell me how he needed to get this camera for his wife so that she wouldn't be using their other camera that he wanted to use when he went on vacation and screwed around with other women.

My department (camera/camcorders) was fairly low pressure, but the Computer dept. at BB is usually a major profit center and they usually have some hardass/slimeball supervising it. That attitude tends to filter down to their sales guys. I remember one of them telling me how he convinced a customer to buy a service plan by telling them about the danger of the "recoiler crystal" breaking on the computer.:roll:

Another guy would tell people they needed to buy the Retail version of XP that matched the color of their motherboard.

 

[Exterous]

Ahhh...the joys of retail. We had many fun games in the warehouse long ago.Hammer toss was a favorite. Its premise was who could toss a hammer along the concrete floor and have it slide the longest and with the most sparks. Product boxes (esp tvs) were sued to line the aisle. Dogeball was another favorite. Again - tv boxes make excellent shelter from volley and soccerballs being whipped at your head.

Alas, a mishap with razorblade toss ended most of the shenanigans in the back. Suprisingly enough an associate managed to break our reinforced glass pickup window with a run of the mill box cutter razor blade. I wouldn't have believed it myself, but it was all caught on the security video. Razor blade hit = window shattered

I managed to get some free stuff from work. A customer threw a perfectly good linksys router at my manager's head because he wouldn't return it 3 months outside the return period. I am using it as we speak. I also have a P4 2.4ghz Compaq tower with 1gb ram that a customer just left because she didn't to pay for a new hard drive. Fortunately I had one laying around at home.

I have had my life threatened, been to court over a lawsuit against our store, been called just about every bad word in the dictionary and had countless people tell me that "I am going to get you fired over this." (They don't like my usual response of "Better people than you have tried and failed).

Ahhh....good times

 

[imported_Imp]

All of this sounds like too much 'fun'. Personally thinking of applying to BB with 4 crappy years of customer service experience ontop of my fulltime summer job (need money, 'experience' and hours)...

 

[ColdFusion718]

Originally posted by: eLiu

Originally posted by: akubi

Originally posted by: MaverickBP
I, like 95% of everyone else on here, has worked in retail at one time in my life. With that comes stories to last a lifetime. Here's one of my favorites...

Had a lady and her daughter come into the store and want a shower radio/cd player. I said sure and took them to our selection. I explained the differences and explained which ones take which batteries. Then came the question I should've seen coming...

"Do you have any that just plug in via ac adapter?"...

She was dead serious and i just stared at her and her daughter with amazement...explained to them the basics of electricity...said a little prayer for them...and walked away lol.


Share your for whichever side of the situation you were on...

really? only 5% of the ppl here never worked in retail? i feel like an outcast

me too

Same here..

 

[Shadowknight]

Originally posted by: Exterous

I have had my life threatened, been to court over a lawsuit against our store

So... details?

 

[ColdFusion718]

Originally posted by: Dominionion
One summer I worked for a catering company that handled company picknics. I was working in a small shed with two windows. I was in charge of drinks and ice cream. I gave a lady her drinks, then the next guy in line moved up...

Me: "Can I help you?"
Customer: "I'd like an ice cream"
Me: "Oh, that's the other window"
Customer: "Ok, thanks"

He moves over to the other window. I walk over to the other window.

Me: "Can I help you?"

He does a quick double take at the other window, then at me...

Customer: "You're the same guy!"
Me: "Yup. What would you like?"

We both laughed.

HAHA LOL

 

[ColdFusion718]

Originally posted by: irwincur
God I miss retail. Makes me look forward many years to retirement - I may have to get a part time hob again.

Seeing how I've never worked in retail in my life. This is what I am going to do (just for fun) after I retire (in about 40 years).

 

[Exterous]

Originally posted by: Shadowknight

Originally posted by: Exterous

I have had my life threatened, been to court over a lawsuit against our store

So... details?

Both were over laptops. The first guy agreed to pay $45 for a laptop motherboard cleaning over the phone and then refused to pay it when he came in to pick up the laptop. He tried to tell me that since it wasn't in writing I couldn't make him pay it. I told him he wasn't getting his laptop back unless he paid $45. A long arguing match ensued. Finally, after 30minutes of arguing with this guy, the store manager came over and asked what the problem was. The guy told him and the manager asked "So, you agreed to it over the phone?"
"Yes"
"Then to get your laptop back you have to pay the $45"
The guy lost it and started screaming, absolute screaming at us. The rest of the store was dead silent while the guy yelled at us. We quickly told the guy he would have to leave and would not be allowed back into the store until he calmed down. As he was leaving his exact quote (as I told the police) was "I am going to come back and kill both of you!" Well, he didn't come back, although I was a bit nervous when I went home for the evening.

As for the lawsuit: a guy came in and wanted us to install a new HDD in his laptop. He said it wasn't working right. I told him it might be more than the HDD and offered to do a diagnostic for him - for the usual fee. He said "No, I know alot about computers and its definitely the hard drive." I said ok and then started to go over the waiver form with him - which includes turning it on and noting what does/doesn't work when the customer comes in. He said "I don't have time for this" signed the form and left without going over anything with me.

Before installing the hard drive I noticed that the laptop would not turn on without the battery out. Whatever, he didn't pay for me to look at that so I continued installing the new HDD. Needless to say that after he picked it up he called us saying "The new hard drive didn't fix the problem" and wanted to know why. I told him I didn't know because he didn't pay me to find out. Then he wanted a refund for the install. I told him he could refund the drive but not the labor. He got pissed and wanted to know why, if he paid for a service and it didn't work, he couldn't get his money back. I told him that I tested the drive when I was done and it worked fine, as the work order stated. Therefore the labor was done correctly and was not refundable. He got pretty pissed at me, but thats nothing new.

Then he tries to tell me that I broke the laptop since it wouldn't work with the battery in. I told him I didn't break it and I noted that issue on the work order upon dropoff. He told me it worked before he brought it in and I told him "I don't know when the problem happened, but when it reached my store it did not work."
His response: "Listen here you little $hit - you broke it and I can (insert entire F word here) prove it." He didn't realize it, but at this point the conversation was over. Oh, we still talked on the phone, but he wasn't going to get anywhere now.
Signed waiver in hand I responded with "It was not working correctly when you brought it in and no, you can't prove I broke anything."
He started swearing more. I spoke over him saying "If you have any other relevant questions you should call back when you can be civil." and hung up on him.

2 or 3 months later we were in court. The case was over pretty quickly. Since I had the signed form noting the issue with the battery and that the customer refused to go over it with me - the case became his word versus mine - which the defendant always wins due to burden of proof. It helped that all my paper work was in order and the guy was kinda a jerk to the judge.

Funny thing is - the guy came into the store like a month later (who goes into a store they tried to sue to buy something?) and I told him "See? I told you you couldn't prove it." His face turned red and he left - I haven't seen him since, but that last part still makes me laugh

(I know I can antagonize people but as long as you are civil or (gasp) nice I am a very nice, helpful guy who will try to go out of his way to save you money. The moment you start swearing/yelling at me or telling me I did my job wrong when it was done right I am not a very pleasant person to deal with)

 

[Kalmah]

Originally posted by: Syrch
alright i'll share a few that triggered reading others

1. I had a lady come in to the store and ask me for a sound card. I took her over and showed her the selection. She asked me how they work (dumbfounded) i explained. She then asks me how this is going to fix her problem. I asked her what the problem was and she told me that her printer no longer makes noise. I was completely confused at this point and could only respond...what? She said that her printer no longer makes noise and it needs to in order to print. Completely confused but my gears turning I was able to figure out that she needed Ink for her printer. After helping her get the right in for her noiseless printer I had to go to the break room and laugh for quite a while.

2. We had a lady that would ALWAYS come in when the store offered something free. It did not matter what it was but if it was free she was getting it. This lady was about 5ft 2in 250 pounds. No one knew this lady names b/c she reeked of last years trash and her car had the spare tired tied to the top of the trunk and the back seat and passanger seat loaded with just crap...i mean LOADED!. Well one day she game in about an hour before the store closed. As usual everyone avoided her like the plague. Well an hour passed and she was in the store but no one knew were. We had a female employee check the ladies room and she was there. We then noticed a trail of poo spots leading to the girls room. We all just about puked...

3. We had a tall lengthy black guy walk into the store and immediately head to the DVD area. He had on jump pants and a tank top. He decided to try to walk out of the store with about 30 DVD's stuffed in his pants. It was so damn obvious he had them there too.

4. I was working as the greeter while the actual greeter was at lunch. This was on christmas Eve. I watched as the cars pulled up and the people came walking into the store. Well this one guy speeds into a parking spot slams his door shut sprints to the door and asks me were are egg selection is. I looked at him and said...huh? He said he needs eggs for a dish that hes making for his family for christmas and needs them right now. I looked at him and told him...sir this is an electronics store. His reply was this: Don't you sell refrigerators? (This was at CompUSA)

5. I had a guy come into to the store. I was reworking the DVD section of the store. I was sitting on the floor with towers of DVDS surrounding me and in regular clothes (not the store uniform as this was a "special project". This guy comes up to me and DEMANDS my help. I look up at this guy that is looking into my "fortress" of dvd's and say. Sir if you give me a moment to finish this I will be right with you. He yelled. NO! I DEMAND YOUR HELP RIGHT NOW! I looked at him and calmly said "Sir, I am surrounded by DVD's Let me put this stack on the shelf as it will take me 60 seconds and I will be right with you. He then pushes all the dvds on top of me and calls me a a$$hole. I then got up glared right into his eyes, walked passed him towards the general managers office. About 15 feet later something hit me in the head. I look down and there are 5 dvd's at my feet. I yelled for security and continued towards the GM's office (no idea how I didn't turn around and kill the guy). He gets into the GM's office the cops are called and he spend 6 months in jail and is never allowed at another CompUSA. The whole thing was on tape. Oh and i got to go home after that...had a major headache!

I have more but I will save room for others

Sweet. :thumbsup:

 

[Brainonska511]

For 3.5 years of HS (and the summer before going off to school) I worked in a local ShopRite. I don't remember much, maybe because I was never awake when I went to work since it was so boring, but some things do stick out in my mind.

My favorite one is probably this one: An old lady comes onto my line. Mumbles something (I have no idea since she was also talking to a person behind her) and I start to ring up her order. As I'm doing this, I'm talking with my bagger since most of the time, customers don't talk to you unless they want to b1tch that something is supposed to be $0.02 cheaper. Since the register can only hold so much stuff at a time, I start to help my bagger bag the already rung up groceries before ringing up more. As I start to bag, the lady walks up to me and says "I told you, I want double knots. That means 2." I gave her a puzzled look and smiled (I almost laughed at her) because it was such a stupid statement. At that point, she flips out screaming about how I'm such an immature kid and I need to grow up (which made me want to laugh even more). My bagger and I made fun of her for the rest of my shift with other customers after she left.

There are so many @ssholes that come into supermarkets, it is hard to recount them all. Another time, some lady accused me of stealing her car keys while I rung up her order. The first part being pretty stupid because what would I do with her keys. I didn't have a license at the time, know what her car looked like, or leave the register I was at since that's the way things work. It turns out after I handed her keys back to her (because it had one of those stupid discount cards on it), she accidentally dropped the keys into one of her bags. When she came back into the store after not finding her keys and accusing me of stealing them, another cashier called security who told her to look in one of the bags. She angrily left without apologizing.... what an @sshole.

I'm sure I'll have more at the end of the summer (since I plan on going back to work there for my last 3-4 weeks of summer after a camp job ends).