Tales from the retail world...

[Eeezee]

Originally posted by: gsethi

Originally posted by: Citrix

Originally posted by: gsethi

Originally posted by: z0mb13

Originally posted by: gsethi
Another one:
Customer orders a HOT sandwich. (State laws states that hot sandwiches are to be taxed while cold ones are not). When total comes, customers states that he is not supposed to pay any tax. The other store that he goes to doesn't charges any tax and there is no such law. I print out the State Sales tax law and hand it out to him. Comes back to me within 5 minutes and I again have to explain it to him. Asks for the number where he can complain against me. I give him the number for the State board of Equalization office.

wow is that for real? Do you own a subway by any chance? or maybe a quiznos?
Never noticed that before..

That is the California state law in terms of Sales Tax. Yes, I own a Subway in California. So next time when you go to grab a sandwich (atleast in CA), if it is HOT, it should be taxed, if it is cold, it should not be taxed. There is no tax on Baked goods. BUT if you take a cold sandwich but eat ON PREMISES, then it has to be taxed.... (too much confusion..who writes these laws)

Ever wonder on why everything is taxed at McDonalds ? Legally, they should not be charging any sales tax on cookies that are ordered "to go" but it makes the accounting much more easier for them.

For me, accounting becomes much harder as at the end of the month, I have to calculate taxable sales and non-taxable sales separately...etc etc.

And also listen(and explain) to the frustration of the customer who bought a cold sandwich last time but this time, he got the same sandwich "toasted" and it was more expensive (b/c of sales tax)

Thats the stupidst thing i have ever heard of. i would post a big ass sign in the store explaing that.

Don't blame me, blame the law makers for making it so confusing. I can understand the aggravation of a customer who has to pay more (b/c of tax) for a heated sandwich.

I know many stores that will not charge tax at all or will charge tax on everything to keep it simple. But they can get into so much serious trouble by doing it. We contemplated on doing the same thing at our store (charge tax for everything) but we decided not to and keep it the way the law requires us to do

Don't charge tax on anything
Increase the base cost on all items to compensate (so the customer pays the tax without realizing it)
...
Profit

Or is that something that can't be done for some reason? It'd make sense for a store to just say "Look, this sandwich is $5, I will pay whatever the sales tax might be if you give me $5"

 

[Eeezee]

Originally posted by: Imp
I don't quite get this... Was stripping suppose to 'misdirect' the security guy and manger?

I think when asked to empty his pockets he just didn't have the mental capacity to empty his pockets without taking off his pants. And taking off his pants got associated with taking off the rest of his clothes I guess

 

[Vegitto]

Originally posted by: aka1nas

Originally posted by: Imp
I don't quite get this... Was stripping suppose to 'misdirect' the security guy and manger?

"Cocaine is a hell of a drug."

Yeah, it is, but if he was high on coke when he came in, he would've attacked the security guy instead of taking his clothes off..

 

[ColdFusion718]

Originally posted by: SpiderX
Funny stories

I work at a kid's park in the Summer. We have a 3 rides, a train, merry go round and a ferris wheel. Of course we get some of the dumbest people coming everyday.

We never close, we may close early if it's pissing rain or really cold, but for the most part we are open for the full 9 hour day. So when it is pouring rain we just sit in the office and read until we get customers. Every single time it rains, we get at least one customer who comes up to the ticket booth, see's our cashier sitting there and proceeds to ask if we are open. Then when she of course says yes, they wonder aloud why no one else is in the park. (I dunno, maybe it's the fact it's pissing rain out and cold?) The same person will get on the train, in the rain, and comment on the fact that the seats are wet. Sigh

No word of a lie, this happens every single rainy day.

I also love seeing how honest people are. I'll purposely not take a ticket from them and see if they give me one on the way out. 95% of the time they don't. I think it's pretty funny.

I also love people who try to take advantage of you. The other night there were 3 siblings at the Merry Go round gate. Only one had a ticket, so that kid went on. The Mom then comes up and goes to stand with the kid. While I'm turning to talk to the other ride op, I notice one of the other kids darts in and hops on an animal. The older kid notices and yells at the Mom how this kid got on. The Mom just shrugs and says she snuck (sp?) on. So the other kid asks me if she can go on. I said "ya might as well, your sister is going on for free apparently". So there's my good deed of the day, give your kids a free ride and they can be happy. Well that wasn't enough, she sends her kids to the train, they hop on and none of them has tickets. So I got the train op to give them the boot. The Mom scowled at me and took the kids and left. Give a person an inch and they try to take a mile.

Oh crap, about 10 years ago that happened to me and I kept the ticket.

 

[Accipiter22]

Worst moment in retail: I worked for a now defunct chain of retail stores (Ames) in my town one summer, actually the summer they went bankrupt. Anyway, before this happened I had to monitor the changing rooms in the women's department for some reason. These two girls about my age (19) at the time wanted to go into a room together with all their clothes. This was a no-no, and I explained to them that I couldn't because they might be switching clothes between the two of them. They told me I could come in and watch if I wanted, just to be sure.
I TURNED THEM DOWN. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY. To this day I am baffled by the fact that I put my integrity above my wang.

 

[Kelvrick]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: Accipiter22
Worst moment in retail: I worked for a now defunct chain of retail stores (Ames) in my town one summer, actually the summer they went bankrupt. Anyway, before this happened I had to monitor the changing rooms in the women's department for some reason. These two girls about my age (19) at the time wanted to go into a room together with all their clothes. This was a no-no, and I explained to them that I couldn't because they might be switching clothes between the two of them. They told me I could come in and watch if I wanted, just to be sure.
I TURNED THEM DOWN. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY. To this day I am baffled by the fact that I put my integrity above my wang.

</end quote></div>

I just spent the last half of my work day reading and it has to end with this? WHy?!!

EDIT: For my own experience, I never worked retail. The closest was the high school cafeteria making breakfast, serving it and serving lunch with some friends.

Don't have anything that sticks out, just making huge breakfast burritos for ourselves and friends. So big that we'd need to adjust the racks in the oven for it to fit. Those were some good burritos.

 

[rocadelpunk]

Originally posted by: Accipiter22
Worst moment in retail: I worked for a now defunct chain of retail stores (Ames) in my town one summer, actually the summer they went bankrupt. Anyway, before this happened I had to monitor the changing rooms in the women's department for some reason. These two girls about my age (19) at the time wanted to go into a room together with all their clothes. This was a no-no, and I explained to them that I couldn't because they might be switching clothes between the two of them. They told me I could come in and watch if I wanted, just to be sure.
I TURNED THEM DOWN. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY. To this day I am baffled by the fact that I put my integrity above my wang.

talk about a lifelong regret : P

 

[Eeezee]

bump

 

[Kreon]

I worked at a summer camp, and I had to deal with some stupid people...
The troop leaders were usually the worst.

My favorite story is when I had a troop leader come in as I was mopping the floor, very irate

Me: Hello sir, can I help you (in the whole cheery greeter way)
Him: are you the camp director?
Me: No... Would you like me to find him?
Him: Some little brat just told me to F$%@ off! I want you to expel him from camp
Me: I can't expel people from camp, I work in the Dining Hall

At this point my boss stepped in, before I told the guy to F$%@ off, as I had done earlier in the summer

My other favorite is from where I work now, an ACE hardware store

Little old man walks in and asks if we have some brand of mulch I didn't recognize. I tell him I didn't think so, but I can ask my manager (who was in the other room doing paper work). He says no, flips me off and walks out to the plumbing department, all the while muttering about "worthless youth". I didn't see it, but apparently the guy out there had choice words for after the guy started ranting at him. It really doesn't sound that good written, but it was funny to see this little old man flip me off

 

[Jschmuck2]

I used to work for the Geek Squad (yeah yeah, I know). We had terrifyingly stupid people in all the time. Well, maybe not so much stupid as just a little technologically...deficient. That in and of itself isn't a bad thing - there are lots of people like that and helping them out is genuinely a nice feeling. We had man's computer for about a week fixing whatever was wrong with it. We give him back his box and send him on his way. An hour later he comes back in with his tower in a shopping cart:

Customer: Hey, you, are you the guy that fixed this?

Me: I don't think so sir but let me just look up your file here...

Customer: I was just in here an hour ago. Don't you remember fixing this?

Me: Well, actually no. As I didn't do the work on your computer...but maybe I can help you with your problem now. Are you having a problem?

Customer: Yeah, the damn thing doesn't work since we brought it in here.

Me: Oh. Well, let me just take a look then...

I get the computer up on the bench. No power, no lights, bupkis. Open up the case and the motherboard is toast. Burnt toast.

Me: Well. Here's your problem sir - someone tried to install an after market video card and it shorted out the motherboard. See?

Customer: Well who put that in there?

Me: I'm not sure sir. Do you have any kids?

Customer: Yeah - are you saying he put it in there? I didn't see him do anything. You must've left it in there when you gave it back to me.

Me: Well, if it wasn't me...and it wasn't you....and it wasn't your son. Are you suggesting that gnomes put this in your computer?

Customer: What?

Me: You know - gnomes. Mythical creatures, about this tall, speak in a high pitched voice. Are you suggesting that they put this video card in your computer? Because if not, I'd ask your son or daughter about it first.

You know the rest: "Get me your manager", "you're an @sshole," blah blah blah. Easily the best moment of my shortlived retail career.

 

[jonessoda]

Ah, such a shame I never worked retail.

 

[grohl]

three hours if my life now down the drain

good stories though

 

[AznAnarchy99]

Wow i read every single page up to page 17, and i was like, hmm i wonder how many pages are left and figured out its 40....

 

[Axoliien]

Our favorite questions at some places I worked...

When I worked at the Library:
Can you tell me all the books I've ever read?
Where's your porn magazines?
Can you all play some music, I need background noise to study.

When I worked at the college bookstore:
Do you sell to students?
Can I use my dad's card to buy books and return them for cash?


By far my favorite and least favorite place to work was Circuit City. It was great because we had a ton of fun, it sucked because the managers were @sshats.
When I worked at Circuit City:


Our favorite stories from Circuit City:

Lady comes in crying because her cell phone bill is insanely expensive. After a short discussion, we find out she bought a cell phone with about 100 minutes, and tons of phone cards. She then called the phone cards from her cell phone, effectively using both at the same time. The funny thing was I was there when she had bought the phone and all the phone cards and had told her that using the phone cards from her cell phone would charge her for both, which she refused to accept and said her brother did it with his phone. Now she wanted her money back for the used phone cards and all the time she had spent on her phone... which was of course NO. By the way, her brother used a prepaid phone and bought the prepaid minutes on cards...

Guy comes in yelling that his 2 year old laptop doesn't work. I'm a computer geek so I offer to look it over for him instead of sending it off. He says it won't boot, but I boot, shut down, reboot it several times and it's fine. He then yells at me that he just wants a new one. I say we don't do that, but he had bought our (stupid) service plan so I say we can send it off if he really wants to, but they have to find a hardware issue with it in order for anything to be fixed, and I don't see anything wrong. He then picks up the laptop, throws it at me and it flies over the counter onto the floor, landing on a corner and cracking the case and who knows what else. He says "It's broken now!" to which I reply "I'm sorry sir, thats accidental damage, there's nothing we can do." He left everything there and said he would never come back.

Guy comes in saying he bought something on our website and came to pick it up but didn't bring his confirmation code. I try to look it up using his phone, address, credit card, etc. I take him to our back office and let him try to look it up on the computer in his email. He then says he'll go home and get it off of his internet and come back. He returns and pushes past everyone to the front of the line yelling while I just give him my blank stare that I give to people like him. When he stops I just stand there looking at him. He throws his arms up and says "Well I guess I dreamt that I bought it on your website" to which I say "Well then it's probably not in our system." The other people all laughed and the moron just walked into the store to get it himself.

 

[ColdFusion718]

Originally posted by: gsethi

Originally posted by: Citrix

Originally posted by: gsethi

Originally posted by: z0mb13

Originally posted by: gsethi
Another one:
Customer orders a HOT sandwich. (State laws states that hot sandwiches are to be taxed while cold ones are not). When total comes, customers states that he is not supposed to pay any tax. The other store that he goes to doesn't charges any tax and there is no such law. I print out the State Sales tax law and hand it out to him. Comes back to me within 5 minutes and I again have to explain it to him. Asks for the number where he can complain against me. I give him the number for the State board of Equalization office.

wow is that for real? Do you own a subway by any chance? or maybe a quiznos?
Never noticed that before..

That is the California state law in terms of Sales Tax. Yes, I own a Subway in California. So next time when you go to grab a sandwich (atleast in CA), if it is HOT, it should be taxed, if it is cold, it should not be taxed. There is no tax on Baked goods. BUT if you take a cold sandwich but eat ON PREMISES, then it has to be taxed.... (too much confusion..who writes these laws)

Ever wonder on why everything is taxed at McDonalds ? Legally, they should not be charging any sales tax on cookies that are ordered "to go" but it makes the accounting much more easier for them.

For me, accounting becomes much harder as at the end of the month, I have to calculate taxable sales and non-taxable sales separately...etc etc.

And also listen(and explain) to the frustration of the customer who bought a cold sandwich last time but this time, he got the same sandwich "toasted" and it was more expensive (b/c of sales tax)

Thats the stupidst thing i have ever heard of. i would post a big ass sign in the store explaing that.

Don't blame me, blame the law makers for making it so confusing. I can understand the aggravation of a customer who has to pay more (b/c of tax) for a heated sandwich.

I know many stores that will not charge tax at all or will charge tax on everything to keep it simple. But they can get into so much serious trouble by doing it. We contemplated on doing the same thing at our store (charge tax for everything) but we decided not to and keep it the way the law requires us to do

I bet if you include the tax in all your prices, you'd get even more customers. For some reason, people like paying exactly what they say. At least that's how I felt when I was in France. If you see something that's 10 francs, you pay 10 francs and you are out the door.

None of this BS that we have in this country.

 

[ColdFusion718]

Originally posted by: shortspanishguy
I used to work at a country club. One day I was very irritated by a lady who ordered a sandwich. I just took a piss about 2 minutes prior and didnt have time to shake well.

I was able to squeeze a bit out on her bread.

That's disgusting. How would you like it if someone did that to your food just because they were upset with you? Giving bad service to rude customers is one thing, but tainting food is just wrong. I guess that's how you were raise. isgust;

 

[hypn0tik]

Moar stories

 

[OutHouse]

my sr year in HS i worked at payless cashways hardware store as a cashier. I hated it from day 1 but needed a job before i went to basic training. anyway this was 1986-1987 and we had to key in every item code on the price tag into the register. then for all the loose stuff like nuts, bolts, washers, screws... we had a book with very crapy photo copies of each nut, bolt, washer, screw of each size and type of metal... it really sucked because they didnt sell that stuff by the pound but by each so we had to count out a fricken bag of loose hardware. one of the most time consming processes i have ever done no wonder they went out of business.

what used to piss me off was when the price came up wong on the register. if that happend we had to call a dept person over and have them do a price check. on a sat that could take forever. so the generic code was 8888885 and with that we could enter in the price. so instead of getting on the store PA and call for somebody i would ask the customer if they remembered the price. if it was in the ballpark i would use the generic code.

 

[OutHouse]

Originally posted by: Yreka
<blockquote>quote:
Originally posted by: AlienCraft
<blockquote>quote:
Originally posted by: Horus


LOL...I don't ever remember watching videos...but I remember exactly how to make every burger there...

Hamburger/Cheeseburger: small bun through the toaster, one squirt ketchup, Z of mustard, some recon onions, one pickle. Cheese if needed

Big Mac: Mac bun through toaster, squirt from the "mac sauce" gun, recon onions, lettuce, 2 pickles, 1 slice cheese

Quarter Pounder: Quarter bun through toaster, one squirt ketchup, Z of mustard, real onions, 2 pickles, 2 slices of cheese.

so on, so on....

TO PEOPLE WHO EAT MCDONALDS: If your meat is dry, ASK FOR NEW STUFF....odds are it's been in the tray for more than half an hour.

</blockquote>
Even I remember how to make a McD burger, and it's been almost 40 years since i worked there.
</blockquote>

Same here, ( although its only been about 15 years for me)

Did you guys make the wicked frankenfoods too ?

I remember for a quick snack, we used to take a slice of cheese, shoot some Big Mac Sauce on it, then wrap it around a chicken nugget..

Also used to take the Strawberry Shake Syrup and mix it with Sprite for a tasty beverage..

Big-McChicken ( Mc Chicken on a BigMac bun) Quad-Quarterpounders ( for friends with the munchies ), etc..

Aah good times..

na the best was making your own pie-ala-mode back when the McDucks pies were fried pies.

take a large cup, put some ice cream in bottom of cup, take a fried pie either apple or cherry and put in cup. crunch up pie add more ice cream and eat it.

damn those were good!

as far as the burger assembly i dont remember putting on recon onions on the bun. we made them by putting them on the patty after the first flip then slide patty with recon onions onto the bun.

 

[Rip the Jacker]

classic thread, upping.

 

[Fineghal]

Short Dairy Queen story.

Old guy, crazy facial hair comes through the DT, orders a small sundae w/hot fudge. Pulls around, pays. Look directly at one of our "Allergen Warning" signs posted on the window. "Your product may come in contact with peanut or other nut-based products..." And then looks at me and says dead-pan "So do you have nuts?"


Here's something from a nightmare:
All of the drains in the store run directly to a grease trap. Any commercial food business is required to have one of these. However when this particular trap was installed, it was installed at a higher level than designed. Consequentially, when it gets too full, it backs up all of the pipes. They simply won't drain.

It is required, at least in our state, that you be a Master Plumber to clean these things out.

Needless to say, the owner is a cheap @$$ and wants the other manager and I to do it.
So we're scooping this thing out. The stench is indescribable. Imagine a combination of all the offal and garbage you can imagine, and you've perhaps reached a 1/4 of this - without the grease of it all. So we're filling a box double-lined with 70-100 gal. trash bags.

We're finally finished, we spray bug killer in it and add a bacterial cleaner and close it up. Then we go to move this thing outside. And the bags break. Spilling this terrible mixture all over the floor.

It took 4 hours for us to clean it up, and the back of the store stank for a week afterwards. We were so dirty and disgusting we took turns leaving to shower. To give you an idea, I grabbed a full bottle of dish soap and used about half of it.

After that incident... A local plumber is payed a retainer and on 24 hour call.

 

[Exterous]

We installed quicken for a customer on his laptop and sent him on his way. About an hour later he comes back into the store steaming mad yelling at me about how i broke his laptop because now it can't access the internet. I try to explain to him that installing quicken would, in no way, cause his internet to stop working. After going back and forth for about 5 minutes of him being an ass he finally says "You need to fix what you broke now you little twit before I go and get my lawyer."

Now, normally at this point this is where I get uppity and say I don't care at all, but I had a feeling that it was something simple. So I boot up him computer being all nice and helpful like. I take one look his system tray, look at the front of the casing and flick a switch. I slide it over to him and said:
"There you go. Its all fixed."
"Now, wait a damn minute here - there is now way you could have fixed what you broke in that amount of time."
I deadpanned: "Well, sir(emphasis on the 'sir' part) nothing was ever broken. Your wireless on/off switch was set to off. I would recommend you check to make sure its set to 'on' next time before you call someone a twit and start swearing at them."
He, very abashedly, took his latop, mumbled an apology and left

Some other things I've noticed is that I never speak in absolutes anymore. EX: A customer asked if he could return a laptop that had a bad hard drive and I told him that "as long as its within the return policy it won't be a problem." Well, it wasn't and he claimed I said he could (absolutely) return it. I had to go up and re-explain my words to him and many other sayings like "I said it would PROBABLY work." or "We can MOST LIKELY do that."

 

[enwar3]

Wow... I just read this whole thing. This tab has been up on Opera at work for some three weeks. EVERY SINGLE POST ON EVERY SINGLE PAGE.

And I felt like if I didn't post so the world knew, my time would be wasted.

 

[Nocturnal]

Originally posted by: Exterous
We installed quicken for a customer on his laptop and sent him on his way. About an hour later he comes back into the store steaming mad yelling at me about how i broke his laptop because now it can't access the internet. I try to explain to him that installing quicken would, in no way, cause his internet to stop working. After going back and forth for about 5 minutes of him being an ass he finally says "You need to fix what you broke now you little twit before I go and get my lawyer."

Now, normally at this point this is where I get uppity and say I don't care at all, but I had a feeling that it was something simple. So I boot up him computer being all nice and helpful like. I take one look his system tray, look at the front of the casing and flick a switch. I slide it over to him and said:
"There you go. Its all fixed."
"Now, wait a damn minute here - there is now way you could have fixed what you broke in that amount of time."
I deadpanned: "Well, sir(emphasis on the 'sir' part) nothing was ever broken. Your wireless on/off switch was set to off. I would recommend you check to make sure its set to 'on' next time before you call someone a twit and start swearing at them."
He, very abashedly, took his latop, mumbled an apology and left

Some other things I've noticed is that I never speak in absolutes anymore. EX: A customer asked if he could return a laptop that had a bad hard drive and I told him that "as long as its within the return policy it won't be a problem." Well, it wasn't and he claimed I said he could (absolutely) return it. I had to go up and re-explain my words to him and many other sayings like "I said it would PROBABLY work." or "We can MOST LIKELY do that."

This happens to me too. People have selective hearing. It's impossible to get through to someone who have it out to scam you.

 

[grohl]

Summer in college, I was probably 20 or so. I was considering a career in medicine and thought it would be a good idea to "get my hands dirty" so I worked as a nurses aide in the hospital. I worked in a med/surgery floor and telemetry. Basically the floors with the oldest and sickest that are usually your long-term players.

Anyway, I worked the night shift and went around every 4 hours to do vital signs. I answered the intercom and generally did whatever needed to be done. Many nights I had to change beds.

Now, when a human being soils themselves, it's a pretty tough thing to handle at first. I have a real problem with fecal matter in general, but seeing a human in their own waste is sad. We'll all be there someday, you see; I guess it's a peek in the future I don't really care for. Well, one night I happened to be working with another aide - a real luxury since I was usually by myself. Her name was Alice, and she was a old bitter fatass who was a lazy bitch and could care less about patients. We had just finished cleaning this poor 60 year old woman with Alheimers, changing sheets and giving her a bed bath. Exactly 5 minutes later, she calls out and says "sonnie, help me, I'm dirty." I said, "Alice, meet you there " and she was like "uh, don't think so" and I'm like dumbfounded! I just remember standing there looking at Alice in the dimly lit hall - she was smoking a cigarette, and she looked at me and said (never forget this) "Sometimes you gotta teach them a lesson - we'll let her lay in it until the next shift".

I hope Alice gets the same treatment someday.